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The Shadow of his Heart	By : Catspeaker Category: +G through L > The Loud House Views: 12692 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
A/N: Flashback time. Lucy has made her case, it's time to let Ronnie Anne prepare her rebuttal.
Fifteen-year-old Ronnie Anne Santiago stood in her room preparing herself for the coming night. The little space that had once been a closet hadn’t changed much in the last four years. The Skateboard posters she loved were still there, but a few more had been added, one or two changed out. There was now a poster of her favorite K-pop band, 12 is Midnight, along side of them, and the wall at the end of her bed which was covered in pictures of her family and friends had only grown in the intervening years, stretching to the other side of the room. The little fridge wedged between her bed and desk sat in its usual spot against the wall. But right now, her focus was falling on a new picture she’d only put up recently.
It was a picture of herself and a boy that had been taken only a month ago in July, on the beach shore of Lake Michigan. It had been a day Ronnie would remember forever, mostly because of the boy in the picture with her. Ronnie was clad in a two-piece purple bikini in the picture and was holding onto the arm of the white-haired boy, himself clad in a pair of orange swim trunks. Looking at the picture filled her with a sense of warmth and made her cheeks turn red, especially when she recalled what happened that night the picture was taken. Looking at it right now made her only more nervous for the boy who would be meeting her outside soon.
Looking back at herself in the mirror, Ronnie was feeling a little self-conscious. She was dressed for a special occasion. There was a block party being held outside on the typically busy street her families’ Apartment building and Mercado sat on. It had been shut down for the party and covered with banners and steamers along with tables set out filled with food cooked by the residents.
It was the end of summer, and in two weeks, she’d be going back to school, and he, the boy in that picture she loved so much…he would be returning home. Just thinking about him being gone, after having him all to herself for the last 3 months began to make her heart feel heavy in her chest.
But she didn’t want to focus on that, she was a tough girl and Ronnie Anne didn’t cry over any boy (That was a lie, she had cried over this boy multiple times in her life), even if said boy was now officially her boyfriend, and she didn’t know when she’d get to see him in person again when he returned home to Michigan.
But tonight, was the Block Party, and it was celebrating multiple events.
The biggest was the saving of the neighborhood.
Over the course of the summer, a greedy land developer and corrupt city councilman had attempted to exercise imminent domain to force all the residents and local businesses out, bulldoze everything, and set up ultra-expensive condos over the rubble.
Ronnie, her older brother Bobby, his girlfriend Lori, and Lori’s younger brother Lincoln had been instrumental in revealing the plot and stopping it. Lincoln, the boy in that picture now Ronnie’s boyfriend, had taken charge when all hope was thought to be lost. Thanks to his planning, and a little help from Lori’s new Mentor at the law firm she was interning at, everything had been exposed and the neighborhood had been saved.
So, in some respects, this party was for her.
Well, her Bobby, Lori, and Lincoln. More than that though, after everything had settled down, Bobby had proposed to Lori. Of course, Lori had said yes. So the party was also a celebration of the engagement of the couple. And with that, Ronnie’s Aunt Frida and Cousin Carlota had insisted the boys and girls dressed in traditional Mexican folk wear, because Frida would use any excuse to dress them up, and Carlota had thought it would be fun anyway, which meant Ronnie was currently in a dress.
Ronnie was a tomboy at heart, but she also had her feminine side. She wasn’t completely against dresses, she did enjoy donning them now and then when she felt it was the appropriate time and place. This was one of those appropriate time and places for Ronnie, but she still felt nervous when it came to making herself appear more feminine or heaven forbid, ‘girly’ than she typically did.
But even she thought she looked pretty in it. Wearing a traditional long Mexican skirt in alternating colors of purple and yellow, topped with a white blouse, her hair had been styled into long flowing curls which were accentuated with the purple highlights within it. Topping it all off, she had a violet flower tucked into her hair. She turned this way and that, holding the ends of the skirt while viewing herself in the mirror. After she finished, she turned and looked to the other person who was standing in the room with her.
That other person was a woman Ronnie Anne and Lori had both come to know well over the course of the summer. A woman who had becoming something of a mentor to both, for Lori because she was interning for the woman, but for Ronnie because the two shared many similarities in temperament.
In Ronnie’s honest opinion she’d never met a tougher woman in her life. A woman who’d founded her own Law firm years ago in Great Lakes City, and whose name was associated with getting justice for the disenfranchised within. She was a bulldog who refused to let go when she bit on a case, and sent shivers down the spine of those she faced in the court room.
She was also beautiful, if in a fierce and imposing way. Tall, with short yet perfectly styled and kept blonde hair, and cold blue eyes that seemed capable of cutting down anyone she brought them to bare on. She was a striking figure in casual business wear, a blue skirt and blazer, Ronnie rarely saw her wearing anything else.
Ronnie had known this woman before however, only as her friend Nikki’s mother, but over the Summer she’d come to think of her as something of a role model.
The blonde woman stood in Ronnie’s room looking into the mirror next to her, a pair of tweezers in hand plucking between her eyelids. She yanked an errant hair out with a look of annoyance her blunt cadence and commanding voice echoing afterwards. “Crimeny! You know I actually paid for expensive laser treatment to get this stupid unibrow of mine removed, and I still get the occasional hair coming back?! What is the point of me even spending all that money if they can’t even get it right the first time!”
The woman stood up, folded her arms and gave an annoyed sigh. Ronnie looked back up towards the older blonde and smirked, “Mrs. Shortman, you can’t see anything there. You’re losing your cool over nothing.”
Mrs. Shortman looked back towards the teenager and gave a smirk in return, “First, Mrs. Shortman is my name in the court room, call me Helga. Second, the difference Ronnie, is that I can see it and it vexes me. And Third, I didn’t come up to talk to you so I could complain about my dermatologist. You know why I came up here Bucko.”
Ronnie Anne did know. The subject matter was something she had wanted to avoid talking about. Not because there was anything wrong with it, but because she was embarrassed. It had to do with Lincoln.
Mrs. Shortman or rather Helga, had insisted on giving the girl advice after the two had bonded, and Helga had noticed Ronnie’s reactions around Lincoln. She had become one of Ronnie’s primary cheerleaders in regard to getting with the boy. Ronnie had thought the older woman’s advice would be at an end, now that her and Lincoln were officially a couple, but Helga had insisted otherwise.
Looking over Ronnie, Helga picked up the latte she had brought with her and took a sip from the recycled paper cup which held it. “Listen sister, you think you won because the boy finally realized you’d only been teasing him all these years because you were too insecure to tell him flat out you loved him? Oh no, it ain’t over now. Now the real tests begin.”
That caught Ronnie unprepared. Lincoln and she had confessed their feelings to one another… Ronnie could remember how happy that day was. More, she remembered the days that followed, especially certain rather risqué memories the two had made together. But Helga’s words made her feel uneasy.
She turned her head towards the Lawyer with a slightly nervous expression, “Hey, I know we’re gonna have to work at it, but we overcame the hardest hurdle! Admitting we liked one another in the first place.”
Helga threw her head back and laughed, it was strangely familiar to Ronnie, it sounded like her own. The type of laugh she had when she got one over on another or was laughing at their foolishness. The older blonde woman smirked, then brought her finger down, and poked Ronnie in the chest, “Oh you sweet summer child. Alright Ronnie, I’m gonna speak Frankly with you.”
Helga took another sip of her Latte, “There’s a reason I like you Ronnie, you remind me of myself when I was your age. Even more than my own daughter Nikki. Nikki’s great, she has my bravery, but her father’s influence is all over her. She’s a sweetheart on the inside just like him. Here’s the problem you and I face girl, you and I, we’re badass bitches.”
Ronnie was taken aback by that statement, she blinked several times in reply, unsure of what she should say. On one hand she felt flattered, of course she was a bad ass bitch! She was the baddest of them all! She’d throw down with anyone, she’d take on any challenge, and she never backed down ever in her life. So what was the problem with that? Ronnie folded her arms, tilted one arm up and faced Helga down with that very question, “I don’t think I see a problem with being a bad ass bitch Helga, in fact it sounds kind of awesome to me.”
Helga kept her gaze on Ronnie, and then took a seat on the girl’s bed. She patted the spot next to her, and Ronnie instinctively followed, sitting down as well, looking towards her.
Helga looked a little melancholic, as if she was getting lost in old memories. A slightly sad smile came over her lips, before she looked towards Ronnie once more, “Here’s the thing Ronnie. Nikki isn’t a bad ass bitch, She’s a brave girl, and being a brave girl is better than being a bad ass bitch. Nikki has all our qualities, with one difference. She’s not afraid of being vulnerable with the right person, and when she meets the boy she likes, she won’t waste time letting him know. She won’t get caught up in the fear of showing weakness like we do.”
Ronnie went to speak in protest before Helga cut her off, “How many years did it take Ronnie?”
Ronnie looked a little defensive, putting her hand to his chest, “We were just kids, we weren’t ready for-“
Helga cut her off again, “How many years Ronnie?”
Ronnie groaned, folded her arms once more in protest and looked away, “Four years.”
Helga smiled fondly as she nodded in response, “Four years, you almost let him slip through your fingers sister.”
Ronnie was still on the defensive, she scoffed as she replied, “Oh come on! He could of made a move in all that time too you know! It wasn’t entirely on me, I was just waiting for him!”
Helga gave another one of those cynical laughs of hers as she looked towards the teenager. Ronnie scowled, but Helga reached over slipping her hand over the girl’s shoulders, “Oh, it’s like talking to a mirror. Ronnie, you really need to come over more. Alright sister, tell me this, I’ll bet he did make moves over the years, didn’t he?”
Ronnie thought back then, suddenly thinking back to the friendship she had shared with Lincoln, one that had started when they had met in the fifth grade. Actually, when she really thought back on it she ended up frowning at herself. Her idea of ‘friendship’ with the boy had been relentlessly bullying him. At the time, she realized she had been angry, angry that a stupid boy could make her feel emotions she had no interest in feeling at the time. Angry at the way he made butterflies fill her stomach just from talking to her, or when she saw him smile or laugh.
Somehow over the years, even though they became friends, very close friends, she had always put up a defensive barrier when they began to get closer. Every time it seemed they were ready to take the next step, she had been the one to back down, put on the brakes, and suddenly send a completely different set of signals then she had been doing before.
Ronnie suddenly had the horrible realization she had probably been making Lincoln a very emotionally confused boy for years. Her eyes went wide, she blinked, and her hands came up to her cheeks, “Oh my god!” She exclaimed.
Helga laughed, and smacked Ronnie on the back, a little hard, guffawing at the teenager, “Oh yeah, I remember that feeling!”
Ronnie with wide eyed intensity and anxiousness, grabbed hold of Helga’s blazer as she responded, “What have I been doing?! Why are we like this?! What if I do it again!? I could push him away, and I don’t want to do that! We just got together, finally got together and I love it!”
Helga reached up and put a reassuring hand on Ronnie’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze, “Calm down, calm down Ronnie. You just listen to ole Helga now, she’s been down this road already.” The blonde woman smirked.
Ronnie took a few deep breaths, and then settled back, resting her hands in her lap as she nodded quietly.
Helga got another far off expression, looking forward as if she was recalling painful memories, “I’ll be honest here Kiddo. You’re a little better off than I was at your age. Your family loves you. But, I can tell something effected you pretty strong when you were younger. Knowing what I do about your parents, I’m gonna guess it was your Mom and Dad’s divorce. That and your Dad running off to another country, leaving you holding the bag.”
Ronnie looked upset as she fired back to Helga, “He was saving lives! He's a Doctor he went to places where they needed him! He was doing important work!”
Helga raised her eyebrow then, “Oh yeah? Because there wasn't any people nearby he could of helped? Because it was more important than being around for his son and daughter for years? I’m sure he did great work, but I’m also sure it was hard on your Mom being alone, and hard on both of you being alone.”
Ronnie didn't have a response to that. She turned and looked away in shock followed by the cold realization that Helga was right. Helga hit the nail on the head. Hadn’t that been the entire reason why her mother had moved them from Royal Woods ,3 hours away to Great Lakes City? To be near family because she felt so guilty raising her Two children alone?
On many levels, Ronnie knew it was true. Her father had abandoned them. Not completely. He sent money, he video chatted with them, and he sent cards. But he had taken the easy way out during the divorce. He had fled rather than have to pick up the pieces of a separated family. He had eventually come back, he had done his best to make amends, but Ronnie understood what Helga was getting at.
Ronnie had developed her bully persona, because she had been hurt by the breakup of her family. While her brother had become a people pleasing overly kind person in response, she had developed a callus and anger at anything that made her feel vulnerable, he went out of his way to make everyone happy because he was afraid of being abandoned.
She only really softened after she had moved in with her extended family. Being surrounded by the love of her mother’s family had made her become a better person.
But she still had those issues with completely opening up and letting someone in. That’s why, that was why, why she had been playing this game of Yo-yo with Lincoln’s emotions. Letting him get closer and closer, until they were clearly more than just friends, but pulling back just enough, away from that firm line of lovers.
But somehow the stubborn white-haired boy had stuck with her, had been her best friend, even when she kept sending him contradictory information.
It was a miracle they actually considered themselves a couple even now. At least Ronnie thought so.
Helga gave Ronnie’s shoulder another squeeze, seeing the tumult of emotions flashing across the teenager’s face, “Took me a few years on the couch to come to terms with that sort of thing Ronnie. But you’re nowhere near as damaged as I was back then.”
Ronnie realized Helga was sharing some very deep and personal information with her, all trying to help her. She looked up towards Helga, “So, what do I do?” she asked honestly lost.
Helga responded, “Better question, different approach. Tell me why you like Lincoln.”
Ronnie’s eyes went wide, and a flush came over her cheeks, she brought her hands up and rubbed her arms, looking reluctant to respond, but getting close to, before Helga stopped her first.
“Let me tell you why I fell for Mr. Shortman. It all started with an umbrella, the regular simple act of him sharing his Umbrella with me on a rainy day, with no expectation of anything in return. More than that, it’s because he was the kindest, most selfless person I had ever met, and given how selfish everyone else I had grown up around was, it was a stark contrast to the rest of my life. Beyond that of course I thought he was handsome, smart and interesting, but girls like us…we’ve got that rough side from life. Someone like your Lincoln, he’s the optimist to your pragmatist. Just like Arnold is the optimist to my cynicism.“
Ronnie gave a soft little smile, “He’s like you said, he’s kind and giving. He does things and does it because it’s the right thing to do, because he likes seeing others happy. He’s smart, the smartest guy I know, he’s funny, and... maybe selfishly I saw how good he is to all of his sisters and wanted that for myself.” She gave a slight sigh and added “and he’s patient.” Ronnie looked a little guilty then, “He’s been patient with me for four years.”
Helga finished off her Latte and casually basketball tossed it into the little wastebasket inside of Ronnie’s room, “Yup, I know your type, because it’s my type. Naive, good boys that think they can change the world.”
Ronnie actually laughed softly in response to that, “He is kind of a doofus, and I worry about him, that he’s gonna bite off something bigger than he can handle.”
Helga grinned in response, “You think my Husband ever stopped doing that? Nope, never. But I’ve been here to protect him from his own better nature, and he keeps me from thinking the world is a completely irredeemable dark hole of negativity.”
Ronnie smiled in response and nodded her head, “So you’re saying I have to be more honest with him and keep being honest.”
Helga nodded as well, taking on a slightly exasperated look, “Yup, and you’re gonna have to get in touch with all those girly feelings you keep out most of the time, and let him see them. Guys like that sort of thing. They like knowing their tough girls aren’t just all stone and ice on the inside. Just mostly so.”
Ronnie Anne rolled her eyes playfully, “Ugh, sounds horrible!”
Helga chuckled, “Yeah I know, doesn’t it?” Before her face took on a serious expression, “But that’s not going to be the hardest part for you. The hardest part is going to be when he goes back home soon.”
Ronnie’s smile faded when she heard those words, her brow furrowed and she looked down giving a shrug, “Not like I don’t know that. Besides we’ll still talk to each other everyday. Play videogames together like we do, and all that other stuff.”
Helga leaned back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling and frowning from another set of painful memories, “Arnold had to go on me. Soon after we had finally confessed to one another. I won’t get into the details, but he had to travel with his Parents. He was gone for years. We didn’t have smart phones and easy access to webcams back then. Only the occasional phone call and letters kept us in touch.”
Helga brought her attention back to Ronnie, and the expression the blonde woman carried was one full of pain as she continued, “We ended up breaking up. He just felt too guilty keeping me hanging. He said it wasn’t fair to make me wait.” Helga scowled, looked at the floor and idly kicked at it, “Stupid, Football headed fool.”
Ronnie Anne began to feel cold fear seize her heart, if someone as strong as Helga could end up losing the boy she loved, then what chance did she have? Panic was about to grip her until Ronnie remembered her brother Bobby and Lori had managed to make a long distance relationship work.
“Hey, if Bobby can make it work for a year apart, then Lincoln and I can too!”
Helga brought her gaze back down to Ronnie and smiled, nodding her head, “That's right, Bobby and Lori. But let's talk about them for a moment. They only had to last a year apart, and they knew they were going to be together afterwards. Hell, they planned it. Lori moved down here to be with him the first chance she got. But that's not the only thing. Do you think Lori ever had difficulties saying the L word to Bobby?”
Ronnie Anne pursed her lips in thought, brought her finger up to her chin to speak, “Well no, but--”
Only for Helga to cut her off again, “And do you think Bobby ever had insecurities responding to that affection? You think he ever doubted his love for Lori? Look at those two, they're so sweet they cause teeth rot in a 5 mile radius around them.”
Ronnie snerked and laughed in response to that, but then frowned, “W-w-what are you trying to say then Helga?”
Helga held out her hand and began to count on her fingers, “You're going to have a longer period of time to wait before you and Lincoln can really be together full time, you also don't even know what the future holds, will he want to go to the same college as you? Or you as him? Do you have what it takes to keep letting him know how you feel and that you want this, and can he stop himself from being the 'bigger' person and letting you go over his own insecurities and thoughts he's making you wait.”
Ronnie's heart sank in her chest, her shoulders slumped and she felt tears begin to well up in her eyes. She had thought she'd won. Her and Lincoln were together now, and neither were embarrassed about it. She was happy, truly happy with having the boy who had ruled her thoughts since she was 11. Now it all seemed doomed.
Her voice came out soft, hurt, as she responded, “Why are you telling me this Helga? Are you just letting me know it's pointless?”
Helga reached down with both arms and pulled the teenager close in a hug as she spoke in a soothing tone, “No kiddo, I'm not saying that at all. You're forgetting something. I'm married to that boy now. Everything I just said, I went through it. But, look at the other end. I got what I wanted, even if there were some bumps along the way.”
Ronnie sniffled some, and looked up at Helga, hope in her eyes.
Helga continued giving her a reassuring look, “I'm saying, you might hit some bumps too. You might hit a roadblock here and there. It's not going to be easy, but if you don't give up, you can make it work. You just gotta fight for it.”

Ronnie smiled, slipping a hand up and wiping at the corner of her eyes, nodding, “I can do that. I can fight for anything.”
Helga smirked and patted the younger girl on the shoulder, “Damn right sister, if there's one thing Bad Ass Bitches know how to do. It's fight. You'll fight, and you'll win. And if any other woman comes along and tries to horn in on what belongs to you?” Helga smacked her first into her palm and grinned, “You show them why you were the toughest girl in your school.”
Ronnie laughed again, and smiled, feeling a little better now, throwing her arms around the older woman in a hug. Helga smiled and returned the gesture, “Now go down there and have a great time with him. Remind him he's never going to find anyone else like you out there either. No one will excite him like you do, and no one will fit him as well as you do.”
Ronnie leaned back, got off the bed, and stood up with new found confidence shining in her eyes. She patted her chest as she grinned, “That's right, the Gringo is damn lucky I decided he was going to be with me!”
Helga stood up and clenched her fist, raising it up in support, “That's the spirit Sister! Go out there and--” Helga stopped as she glanced out the window in Ronnie's room. Something apparently caught the woman's eye as she suddenly rushed to it and threw it open.
Helga stuck her head out and yelled, “Nicole Gertrude Shortman! You get your football headed father off of that Skateboard right now! He's had to much to drink and we are NOT spending the evening in the emergency room!”
Helga leaned back in and gave a sigh, before looking back to Ronnie, “I don't know, is Nikki a good influence on you, or are you a bad influence on her?” She teased.
Section Break
Lincoln looked at himself in the full length mirror in the bathroom of the Mercado owned by the Casagrande family. It was surprisingly clean, white tiled, and meticulously stocked, owing to the care and pride the family took in it.
At 15 years old, Lincoln was still in the awkward years of his teenage phase, he had some acne, and his limbs had slightly outgrown his torso, but he was still a cute boy on his way to becoming handsome in time. He was just finishing putting on the clothes to help him fit that handsome mold a little bit more.
As was the theme set by the Casagrande family, Lincoln was currently dressed in more traditional male Mexican festival attire. He wore a pair of long black trousers, flaring out slightly at the bottom, with a pair of brown leather shoes that Bobby had lent him. A formal orange button up shirt covered by a black vest embroidered with white filigree, and a bolo tie he was having some trouble putting on correctly at the moment.
Sharing the bathroom with him was Bobby Santiago, his big sister's fiancee and his adopted older brother. Bobby himself was dressed in a manner quite similar to Lincoln's own, but had taken it a step further with a red sash and white ruffled shirt.
The young man reached over to take hold of the tie Lincoln was having some trouble with, and began to fix it for him, “Hey Bro, let me take care of that for you.” Bobby smiled.
Before the sweet and simple man added, “Can you believe when I call you Bro again soon, it's gonna be for really real this time!”
Before Lincoln could even get in a word edgewise, Bobby had picked him up in a bone crushing hug, “I can't wait Lincoln! I'm gonna be your real brother by law as soon as Lori and I take our vows!”
Lincoln gasped for breath, patting Bobby on the back as he responded, “Never doubted it for a second Bobby! But, uh, I need to breathe!”
Bobby put Lincoln down, looking apologetic as he nodded his head, patting the teenager's shoulders and then dusted him off, “Oh yeah! Sorry! Sorry! I'm just so excited! I can't believe your sister said yes! My Babe is gonna be my wife! I'm just so happy about it right now Bro!”
Lincoln rolled his eyes but then smirked playfully, folding his arms, “Bobby, I can't believe you actually thought my sister would ever say No to you. Lori's been crazy about you the moment you started dating. We're all happy for you, there's no one we'd rather see our big sister with.”
Bobby looked touched, putting on a dopey smile as he patted Lincoln's shoulder once more, “Aww, thanks bro...That really means a lot to me. Your sister is the best, and I promise I'm going to do everything I can to make her happy for as long as I live.”
Lincoln knew Bobby was speaking true, he really liked the guy. Nobody had ever made his big sister smile as much as Bobby did, and for Lincoln, his family's happiness was the most important aspect of his life. In a sense he felt like he had a burden relieved from his shoulders thanks to Bobby. It was one last sister he needed to worry about. Bobby would take over the duties of taking care of Lori for him.
But then Bobby spoke up again.. “Just as I expect you to do the same thing for Ronnie Anne.”
Lincoln's eyes went wide, and his cheeks turned a deep red. His heart began to beat faster, and he felt warm and slightly embarrassed hearing that. He looked away sheepishly, but Bobby wasn't having any of it. The older boy leaned down closer to Lincoln, wrapping an arm around his shoulder as he grinned while continuing.
“Come on bro, I see the way you look at her, the way she looks at you. It's adorable! You two are great for each other, I'll bet you and I will be in the same position again, years from now, just with our roles reversed.”
Lincoln felt himself turning more red, coughing slightly in response. The worst part was, Bobby was right. He did Love Ronnie Anne. He loved her something bad. He had loved her for years, that love had cooled some after she had moved away and they only saw each other online, during the holidays or the occasional weekend. But this summer had re-ignited everything he had felt for her and then some.
Now, only 15, he couldn't imagine his life without her being in it. He looked down at his shoes, sheepishly again, his hands coming behind his back at he nodded his head to respond, “You know, she'll always be special to me Bobby...and I'll treat her right, for as long as she wants me in her life.”
Bobby picked up the younger boy again in another tight hug, laughing as he did, “Guess that means we're gonna be double brothers down the road Bro!” He placed Lincoln down before choking the life out of him, then pat his head. Looking back at himself in the mirror he gave a confident nod, “Alright Linc, let's get out there, our chicas are waiting!”

It was hard not to feel the infectious joy that came from Bobby. He was a happy person by nature, and loved nothing more than making other people happy. Lincoln also knew Bobby loved his sister Lori with a depth that could drown others. Bobby had proposed to Lori and her saying yes had made him the happiest man alive for the moment. He wanted to share that joy with everyone.
More though, Bobby was right, Lincoln didn't want to get ahead of himself, but he almost could see this situation happening again years down the road. Ronnie Anne, well, she was just that special of a girl.
The two made their way out of the bathroom, and back into the Mercado. While it was shut down for the time being, the Casagrandes had commandeered it to prepare for and plan the block party currently taking place. Much of the outlets within were being used to run extension chords outside to the stage and speakers and hanging lights which festooned the block.
Already the DJ booth had been setup and was playing outside on the stage, it seemed the choice tracks alternating between both English pop and dance music and Spanish pop and dance music. Lincoln couldn't fully understand what the Spanish lyrics were saying, but the energy of what the song was about was easy to pick up in the singer's emotions and the tone of the song.
He supposed he really should start looking into learning Spanish more, it'd only be fair to Ronnie Anne and her family.
As the two made their way out of the neighborhood market, throngs of people from all over the block were already outside and enjoying themselves. He knew Ronnie's grandfather Hector along with Hector's band would perform live music later in the evening, but right now everyone else in the neighborhood seemed to be celebrating and enjoying themselves in light of recent events.
Looking around the crowd, he felt Bobby elbow him softly before pointing forward. Lincoln brought his gaze up and in the direction Bobby had pointed to, only for his eyes to stop on one of the most beautiful sights he'd seen before.
There, standing next to his sister Lori, was Ronnie Anne. But clad in one of the most feminine ways he'd ever seen her before. Her curly hair, the flower in it, the long flowing skirt, and her bare shoulders from the white blouse looked particularly beautiful in contrast with her coffee colored skin.
Lori looked pretty too of course, he thought so in that familial way a brother was supposed to think of their sisters as. Clad in a flowing black skirt with red ruffles at the bottom, spaghetti straps holding it up, with a red ruffled finish along the top, she matched Bobby perfectly, complete with black heels.
Bobby and Lori of course wasted no time in finding one another and throwing their arms around each other. Lori was practically squealing already as Bobby picked her up and spun her around. The two had only been parted for what must have been just over an hour, but acted as if it had been months since they'd seen each other.
While Bobby and Lori fell into their saccharine sweet routine of flirtatious language, kisses and declarations of eternal love, Lincoln made his way to Ronnie and she did the same. The two looked at their older siblings, feeling a mutual embarrassment at the display before settling their gaze on one another again.
For Ronnie, in secret she was jealous of Lori. Jealous Lori could express herself with almost no shame to the person she loved. She almost wished she could do the same to Lincoln, because he really did mean that much to her. This sweet nerdy boy who had been such an important part of her life ever since he'd come into it. She wished she could throw herself into his arms so easily and say things the way Lori said things to Bobby.
For Lincoln, he couldn't believe just how pretty Ronnie Anne looked right now, and further that she was his girlfriend. His actual girlfriend. The toughest, coolest, bravest girl he'd ever met, the prettiest and secretly most caring girl he'd ever seen, was his girlfriend. The only girl who could match him at videogames. How did he ever get so lucky?
Then Lincoln demonstrated why Ronnie Anne had fallen for him so hard, without even realizing it, as he confidently reached down, took hold of her arm, and pulled her close, his eyes going half lidded in appreciation of her, “You look beautiful Ronnie, To think I get all of this for myself tonight.”
Ronnie flushed hotly. That was the part she loved about the Lame-o so much. Despite being a complete dork, for some reason with her, he could be confident. He could be reading his comic books, or geeking out about something else, but then he would kiss her, or take her hand, or sweep her off her feet in the ways that girls like Ronnie secretly wanted.
He was a nerdy, geeky boy, but he was a man when it came to sharing his affection with her, and treating her like his girlfriend.
She had to stop herself from giving a girlish giggle in response, instead blushing shyly, and playfully punching his arm, “Only if you stay on your best behavior Lame-O!” she teased him.
But Lincoln took it all in stride, he slipped his hand to the small of her back, and the two began to walk side by side together, leaving Lori and Bobby behind. They wanted to enjoy this evening, it was meant to be special. While they might have had two weeks more before they were separated again, tonight was probably the last real big 'event' of the summer they'd get to share. They wanted to make the most of it.
The young couple found themselves caught up in the music playing and the energy of the crowd, and before they knew it they were dancing. When they had been younger, both of them had opted to skip going to a dance together, to take advantage of a 2 for 1 special their favorite arcade was having. That was before Ronnie had moved away, and in many ways it cemented just how similar the two could be, even while being so very different.
Ronnie loved videogames, and Lincoln loved them too, and playing them together was a much more fun and romantic activity for them, then going to a school Sadies Hawkins dance might of seemed. But now, as they were getting older, the two realized this type of expression could be fun too.
Maybe neither of them were perfect dancers, but they knew enough, they knew how to grasp one another's hands, and move their bodies back and forth. Listening to the music pumping from the speakers set around the street, and gazing into one another's eyes, they fell into the dance happily with one another, enjoying being out with friends and family and celebrating a relationship that had been four years in the making.
They got lost like that for most of the late afternoon into the early evening. They danced and laughed with one another, taking every opportunity to hold each other close, to clasp hands, and enjoy being in one another's presence. They spent time sampling much of the fine food that had been provided for the party, much of it coming from Ronnie's grandmother Rosa, and they even played a few Block Party games set out. Going up against Bobby and Lori in a three legged race, and trying their luck at the spicy chili eating contest.
They met up with Ronnie's other friends, people Lincoln had become close to as well over the summer, in particular her best friend Sid, and the tall skater girl Nikki and enjoyed hanging out, talking, and playing games with them as well. Through out it all, Lincoln and Ronnie never stopped holding hands. They never stopped being near one another, leaning against one another, or in Ronnie's case, often leaning her head against Lincoln's shoulder.
Ronnie Anne wanted it clearly communicated to everyone she saw, this boy was hers. Lincoln Loud belonged to her. She was his girlfriend. In some ways it was a surprise to Ronnie Anne's friends. They were so used to the tough and independent Tomgirl, seeing her so happy being involved with another person was almost shocking. But not to her best friend Sid, who had known about Ronnie's crush for some time. If anything, Sid was the happiest for her friends, seeing them finally together openly.
As the night wore on, and more activities happened, the city street lights and block party banner lights now being the illumination for everything, Lincoln and Ronnie somehow found themselves alone, on top of the Casagrande apartment building, looking out over everything below them.
Ronnie's grandfather and his band had taken the stage, and the sounds of traditional Mexican folk music filled the air. Lincoln didn't know what was being played, but he figured it had to be a romantic song from the way couples below were slow dancing, and the way Rosa was staring up at her husband while he played.
Lincoln's hand had been held tightly in Ronnie Anne's own, their fingers intertwined, as the hot summer day had thankfully given over to some cool night air. He knew he was going to miss this place when he went back home in two weeks. The Casagrandes had really gone out of their way to make him feel like family. Not only that, he hadn't realized how much he had missed his big sister until he got to spend the summer with her. Lori really let him know how much she had relied upon knowing he would be able to handle all his other sisters in her absence.
And then of course, there was Ronnie Anne. His beautiful, tough, sweet, funny Ronnie Anne. The girl he had finally been man enough to let know he wanted, and who had finally stopped putting up walls and let herself be taken by him. He would miss her most of all, and even now as he looked to her while they leaned against the wall of the roof, as he took in the beautiful sight of the Latina in front of him, his heart was already beginning to ache with the thought of being away from her.
Ronnie caught him looking, a flush coming to her darker cheeks as she turned and met his gaze with her own. Deep chocolate eyes looking back into Azure blue as she huffed playfully, “Come on lame-o I got something on my face?”
Lincoln shook his head, smiling as he looked back at her, “No, I was just remembering how lucky I am right now. That's all.”
Ronnie looked away, blushing more, her heart pounding further. Lincoln's words, his opinion of her mattered more than anyone else. His cruel words had brought tears to her eyes, but his kind words made her feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. She smiled, turned back to him, and this time took the initiative herself, leaning in suddenly and pressing her lips to hers.
Despite being a strong and assertive girl, when it came to matters of the heart, Ronnie Anne was more traditional, she wanted to be wooed, and chased, and romanced. She knew she had to give signals to the boy she loved, to let him know to proceed, but she had expected Lincoln to take the necessary forward steps...and in his own frustrating way, he had in most cases.
But now and then, she knew she had to be the one to take the initiative, and now and then she wanted to be the one to kiss him, or take certain actions first. This was one of those times, she needed to, and wanted to kiss him so much. The whole night she had been waiting to.
Lincoln didn't resist, even if he was a little surprised by the sudden gesture, instead tilting his head to kiss her back with just as much love and passion as she had shown him. They had kissed multiple times by this point, but every time still felt like the first to both teenagers, their hearts so entwined with one another.
Lincoln felt her tongue press against his lips, and his own left to meet hers eagerly, his arms slipped forward, wrapping around her waist, pulling his pretty girlfriend close to him, and she responded by wrapping her arms around his neck. Both felt their skin heating up, their desire beginning to build. Sex was still something new to them, even if they had crossed that threshold a month ago. They were still so young, and so new, it was a brand new but very serious game they enjoyed with one another.
But despite the building up of their hormones, and their bodies longing to touch one another, both didn't want to just jump into their awkward teenage love making fumblings just yet. Lincoln had a lot on his mind, and Ronnie Anne did as well. They both knew what subject was weighing heavily on eachother.
As they pulled back slowly from the kiss, their eyes remained closed, and they leaned their foreheads against one another. They stood, breathing in the scent of each other, and feeling the other so very close, as their hearts beat in time together. Slowly their eyes opened up, and Ronnie Anne regarded her boyfriend with a very sad smile.
Lincoln saw the expression on her lips and it felt like a dagger being stabbed into his heart. Seeing Ronnie Anne sad was one of the most painful experiences of his life now. He had a feeling why she was sad, but he didn't say anything, just slowly bringing his hand up to gently caress her cheek. He idly pushed some of her dark hair back behind her ear.
Ronnie Anne finally found her voice, “I love you Lame-O. I really love you Lincoln. You know how hard that is for someone like me to say, but I mean it.” She looked off, tears streaming down her cheeks as she breathed in, catching her breath, trying her best not to break down as she continued. “I just, have so much fun with you, and you know how to make me laugh better than anyone else, you care about people and you give a shit about things. You stupid dork. Do you know how frustrating that is, to be in love with you, Lame-O?” She laughed playfully as she sniffled some.
Lincoln only smiled, holding her close and continued to run his fingers up through her hair, he responded in a slightly cheeky tone, “Oh, I might know a thing or two about it. Being in love with a girl whose tougher than you are, and more athletic, and drives you crazy with the way she likes to tease and prank you...But then you think about how her smile brightens your whole day, and how much you share, how much fun you have with her...and how her kisses are the best thing in the world. Yeah I might know a thing or two about it.” He grinned at her.
Ronnie Anne laughed softly, before she leaned her head back against his own, and breathed in once more, “I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry.”
Lincoln seemed a little surprised hearing that, eyebrow raised as he brought his hands down to her back once more, idly caressing her. “For what Ronnie Anne? What are you apologizing for?”
Ronnie Anne looked back up to Lincoln, her eyes still misty, an apologetic look on her face, “For dragging this whole thing out. For making you go years wondering if I liked you or not. For playing with your emotions like that, because, because I was afraid.”
Lincoln looked back at her, he could see how much this meant to her, how truly sorry she was. But it didn't bother him one bit, he didn't believe she needed to apologize, they were together now, isn't that what mattered? He leaned in and placed a brief kiss on the top of her nose, gazing back into her eyes, “Ronnie Anne, you were worth the wait. Worth the wait and then some. Don't apologize, it happened when you were ready, when I was ready, and now we have one another..”
Ronnie looked back to Lincoln again, and began to sniffle once more. She didn't think she deserved him. Didn't think she deserved someone so understanding and sweet, she threw herself back into his arms, and buried her face into his neck. He responded by holding her so tightly.
Right now nobody could see them. She didn't have to worry about saving face. She didn't have to worry about being tough, or being embarrassed. She was with the boy she loved, and that was all that mattered. She began to sniffle still as she worked up the courage to the next words she said. She knew it was an impossibility, but she had to ask all the same.
Lincoln held her so close, and rained kisses down on her shoulder. Kissing along up to her neck, and down again. He loved her beautiful dark skin, the wonderful contrast it made with his own pale. The mixing of their colors was beautiful artistry as far as he was concerned. Her voice broke him from his reverie.
It came soft, sad, cracking while it held back tears, “I...I don't want you to go Lame-O.”
Those words hit Lincoln hard, slamming into his body with the force of a train. Of course a part of him didn't want to return to Michigan and Royal Woods in two weeks, of course a part of him imagined staying here with Ronnie Anne and his sister. But he didn't think he'd ever hear her voice it.
Ronnie Anne's grip around him tightened as she buried her face in his neck, “I don't want you to leave. I just got you, finally got you and you're going to go away again! It's not fair Lincoln! It's not fair! Please stay with me! Please stay here!”
Lincoln felt his heart practically breaking. Earlier he had just reflected on how Ronnie Anne being sad hurt him so dearly, but now she was crying, crying over the fact he would be leaving her. He had never thought he would be with someone who loved him this much, and he knew he loved her just as much in return.
His arms squeezed her waist tightly as he leaned in and placed kisses on her neck, and then her cheek, then her ear, speaking softly, soothingly in reply, “Ronnie...I want to stay. I really wish I could stay. I love being with you, you're my favorite person in the world, I want to spend every moment I have with you.”
Ronnie Anne Leaned back then, gazing back at him as tears continued to fall from her pretty brown eyes, “Then do it Lincoln! Stay! You can live with Lori and Bobby, until we're old enough to have a place of our own. I know you like things here in the city too, the Museums, and the murals the parks and festivals, and there's a comic book store nearby and my friends all really like you, we could make this work!”
She was practically pleading with him, and it hurt Lincoln so much to see it, to want it so bad as well, but know he had to tell her no.
She knew the answer, she knew it the moment she asked him, but she knew it especially when his blue eyes flicked away from hers. She didn't want to hear his response, but she let him speak it all the same.
“Ronnie Anne...” He trailed off, and then suddenly he brought his gaze back to hers. He took hold of both of her hands, clasping them in his own, bringing them up in front of him, “Ronnie Anne, one day we'll be together always. One day we won't have to say goodbye anymore. I promise you. But you know, right now...My family needs me. My sisters need me, my parents need me.” He laughed a little as he continued, “Clyde needs me.”
Ronnie sniffled again, leaning her head down to wipe her eyes with their clasped hands rather than dare let go, “I know...I know..” she whimpered back. “I know Lame-O, but I had to try. I'm sorry for being selfish.”
Lincoln leaned in and brought his lips to hers once more. The brown skinned girl melted against the white skinned boy's touch, as their lips met. Their bodies coming close against one another again, arms slipping around one another's waists once more.
After the kiss, Lincoln leaned back ever so slightly, “You're not selfish Ronnie Anne. You don't think I want to take you back with me to Royal Woods? That I wouldn't want you to come live with me if I could? You're my girlfriend, and my best friend.”
Ronnie smiled a little, even through her tears as she looked away for a moment, then brought her gaze back to her boyfriend once more. “I would if they'd let me. You know that right?”
Lincoln nodded as he put a single finger up against her plush lips, responding, “I know, but I can't let you do that either. You've got a life down here right now. Friends and family all your own. When we graduate and we need to decide on what colleges we're going to, then we can begin our life together. But for now, I'll still be your boyfriend, and I'll spend every free moment I can with you.”
Ronnie looked up at him, hopefully, her lips quivering as she spoke, “Promise? You promise me Lame-O?”
Lincoln laughed softly, leaned in and kissed her again. Once more the pretty tough girl showed how feminine she was with the way she melted against him. He pulled back just in time for the fireworks of the block party to start going off all around them.
They both stopped, looking at the night sky as it was lit up by the colors of red, blues, greens and yellows. It was as if the display was being put on for them, and only them alone. He looked back at her as he nodded, the light in the sky reflecting in her eyes “I promise, forever and ever Ronnie Anne. I'll always love you.”
The two teenagers found themselves kissing once more, and then falling back into a lawn chair that had been set out. They would make love under the night sky, with the fireworks going off around them. Afterwards they would cuddle together and make every last day of that summer count.
Years later when ever there were fireworks, both would look at the night sky and remember...and feel a longing that was no longer fulfilled.
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The Shadow of his Heart