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Total Drama Universal Restraints Inn	By : Flashlight & Zetastrophe-Now Category: +S through Z > Total Drama Island Views: 14143 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan-based parody. Total Drama and it's characters are copyrighted property of Teletoon, Fresh TV, Tom McGillis, and Jennifer Pertsch. Please support the official release.

Chapter List
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"Okay," Chris said. "Now that you got Blaineley in, could we go for Leshawna now?"
"Yeah, sure. I just wanted to get that over with."
"Well, for one thing, Leshawna is bootylicious..."
"Yeah. You could say that."
Chef walked to Chris and Ira, prepared to interrupt them. "Need I remind you that Ghetto Chick arm-wrestled Mr. Whale Backbreaker?"
"You mean Duncan?"
"Yeah, that guy. I ain't having you call up the military again, so you better ignore the bitch instead of pursuing her."
"Nonsense, Chef. Leshawna just got the 'tude. Mhmm."
"Nice impression, Ira."
"Eh." Ira shrugged. "It's sort of a stereotype, Chris."
"Why am I even here?" a disgruntled Chef walked away from the scene.
"Anyways, Leshawna isn't as much of a brute as Eva. It's more like a 'Haters, Beware!' scenario when it comes to her. Heck, Leshawna was actually Heather's worst enemy."
"Oh yeah..." Chris nodded. "That's one heck of a load of drama right there."
"Excuse me for a moment." Ira pulled out his phone and called the inn. "Send in the fine for Duncan's crime. I have something in store for him."
Chris was peeved by Ira's request, having contempt against Duncan. Since the time Duncan blew up Chris's alleged cottage, Chris wanted nothing to do with the punk boy. "Why would you do that?!"
"Don't get your underpants twisted in a knot, Chris. Duncan's involvement will be necessary."
"He blew up my cottage...!"
"You mean 'mansion?'"
"Whatever!"
Ira rolled his eyes, annoyed by Chris's querulousness over Duncan's actions. "Trust me, Chris. You'll like this." A limousine arrives at the road near Ira, waiting for Ira to get inside. "There's my ride." Ira hopped in. "I'll see ya later, Chris."
When Ira left Chris, Chris mutters to himself about Duncan, still ticked off over the cottage/mansion event.
At prison, Ira walks to Duncan's prison cell with a police officer next to him. Upon approaching the cell, Ira sees Duncan, who is a guy with a green mohawk and blue eyes. Rather than his usual black shirt with a Soul-Eater skull on the chest, Duncan wore the orange jumpsuit provided for the prisoners isolated in the building's premises. Duncan looked at Ira and the cop, not knowing of his freedom.
"Well, Duncan..." The officer opened Duncan's cell door. "You're free to go."
"Ira?" Duncan stood up. "What are you doing here?"
"How do you know who I am?" Ira scratched his head.
"I've seen your infomercial on the adult channels."
"Oh... I must have forgotten about that. So, here's the deal. Have you heard of Universal Restraints Inn?"
"The five-star hotel with over-the-top antics?"
"Over-the-top is an overstatement, but yeah."
"That was a rhetorical question, genius..."
"Anyways, Chris made this deal, and basically, he paid for a set of two-week vacations for all of Total Drama's ladies. We're bringing the girls in one at a time, save for four pairs that we brought in."
"What's in it for me?"
"You know Leshawna?"
"Well, duh! She's that large chick who's basically defending that dweeb."
"Well, here's what I want you to do. Tell Leshawna that Heather's been taken to the inn and offer Heather's humiliation in exchange for Leshawna's visit to the Inn. Oh, and tell Leshawna that you'll make the payment for her vacation. Seriously, you owe me for the favor I did for you."
"Wait, you made the payments for my return to society?"
"Yep."
"Well, I still have some of the money I've earned from Total Drama Action, so I'll get it done."
"Very well. Now, before we leave the building, do you need to make a phone call?"
"Nah." Duncan shrugged. "I've already made my phone call this week."
"Okay then."
Ira walked down the aisle, with Duncan following along via police escort. Ira left the building before Duncan and the officers, but Ira's vehicle went elsewhere. Ira planned to lure Leshawna to a location he had in mind. Duncan, on the other hand, went home in a law enforcement vehicle.
Upon arriving at his house, Duncan sees his father glaring at him in the front yard. Duncan's father appeared much like as if Duncan was a middle-aged man, although the hair on his head is really a hairpiece.
"Duncan..." The tone in Duncan's father's voice was stern. "Why are you back here...?"
"I have my reasons, Pa..."
Duncan's father sighed, showing contempt against his son. "You're lucky your mother wouldn't let me file an ultimatum against you..."
Duncan rolled his eyes at his father before the cops escorted him out of the vehicle. The cops took him along the concrete pathway to his house. Upon entering the house, the cops unlocked Duncan's cuffs.
"Stay out of trouble." one of the cops said before leaving the house.
"Welcome back, Duncan." Duncan's mom, a blonde chick who cared about Duncan despite his criminal record, hugged her son. "How was the competition?"
"It was a total bummer, Ma. I got another relationship broken up without rhyme or reason, and the host is still a fucking sadist." Duncan walked toward the house phone and picked it up. He then dialed a number on the phone, knowing who to call.
"Who are you calling?"
"Someone who I've competed with during in the first three seasons of Total Drama."
While relaxing at her house, Leshawna answers Duncan's call. Leshawna was a thick-but-able-bodied woman with dark skin and a ponytail on her head. Although one would assume that Leshawna is overweight, her body mass is basically rump. "Hello?"
"Hey, Leshawna. How's it going?"
"Duncan? You got some nerve calling me! Aren't you in prison or something like that?"
"Nah, some guy wearing a red bathrobe bailed me out."
"Guy in a red bathrobe? Are you insinuating that you're-"
"No, I'm not gay! Hugh Hefner wore a bathrobe much like his."
"I was gonna ask about you being in cahoots with that weirdo, but that would've worked as well."
"Enough with the insults, Leshawna. I got a question for you."
"No, I ain't gonna let you paint Harold's hands and feet green!"
"It's not that! What I'm asking is... You know Heather?"
"Is that Asian skank up to no good again?"
"Actually, it's something else. She's taken to this hotel called Universal Restraints Inn?"
"She better be held in a cell at the Daemon Wing after all she has done to us."
"Well, the inn decided to offer you a chance of seeing Heather getting humiliated in exchange for your stay at the inn. Are you up for it?"
"How long do I have to stay in that nuthouse for?"
"Two weeks, give or take."
"And WHY are you making me go to that place?"
"Because, Leshawna, I'm willing to pay some of the million dollars I've won from Total Drama Action for this."
"Why are you calling me now? Don't you know that I live across the street?"
"I probably wouldn't be allowed out of my house once this is over with, and besides, I got locked up in prison."
Leshawna thought about Duncan's offer. Although the thought of seeing Heather get a taste of humiliation intrigued Leshawna, the inn itself did not catch her fancy. After seeing the infomercial the night before, Leshawna thought the inn was nothing but a bunch of bondage baloney. "Well, you win, but I got my eye on you."
"Thanks. By the way, you might want to write down this number." Duncan gives the Inn's phone number to Leshawna, which she writes down. "You got it?"
"Yep. I'll talk to ya later."
"Hey, be my guest." Duncan hangs up the phone, then turns to his mother, who was confused about his conversation.
"Are you really going to spend your money on a vacation at that awkward hotel?"
"No, Ma. I actually owe the hotel's owner cash after he bailed me out."
"Ah, alright."
Back at Leshawna's house, Leshawna paced the floor for a bit, thinking about the hotel. That guy better keep his word, or I'm gonna whack him on the head, Leshawna thought. Leshawna dialed the inn's phone number on her cell phone. Leshawna waited for an answer, but she lost her patience as soon as she heard the first dial tone. "Oh, come on!"
At the inn, an Asian chick by the name Yui Ling Han answered the phone. "Welcome to Universal Restraints Inn. How may I help you?"
"Hey, yo. I'd like to make a reservation at your hotel."
"Okay, madame. Which wing would yo- You sound familiar... What's your name, ma'am?"
"I'm Leshawna from Total Drama. Why did you asking?"
"Well, Leshawna. It's your lucky day."
"Lucky?" Leshawna was annoyed by Yui's remark. "What do you mean by 'lucky?' Your stank-ass hotel is nothing but a pile of bad luck if you ask me."
"Well, Leshawna, you have gotten yourself a reserved spot at the Angel Wing, where we provide the hotel's utmost service."
"Well? What'cha waitin' for, fool? I ain't got all day!"
"Okay, ma'am. We'll send transport over right away." Yui hangs up the phone, slightly annoyed by Leshawna's response. "Geez, how impatient can you get?"
About a minute later, a few of the Inn's employees arrive at Leshawna's house. Duncan peeked out his door to see what was happening over at Leshawna's house
"What the heck, guys?! You just blew the cover!" Duncan then smelled a strong scent right next to him. "Hey, look! Pizza!" Duncan took the box of pizza and gave the delivery boy some cash in exchange.
The ring of the doorbell reached Leshawna's ears, which caused her to get up and walk to the door. "Now who's trying to test my patience?" Leshawna answered the door to a nurse and two orderlies. "Hey. Whoa whoa whoa. What's this now?" Leshawna took a look at the orderlies' canvas sweatshirts and noticed the U.R. Logo from the Inn itself. "Huh, well I'll be darned."
In a confessional, Leshawna talks about the Inn's transportation service. "You know something? I've heard rumors that Universal Restraints Inn's staff arrives at their guests' doorsteps within five minutes. Sometimes, they'll come as soon as the call is made. How do they run that place, anyway?"
From the distance, Ira shouted. "Trade secret!"
Back in the scene, the orderlies prepare a sturdy, nylon straitjacket suit for Leshawna's transportation. Much to their expectations, Leshawna rejected the idea of being restrained.
"Oh, hell no! You're NOT getting me in that thing!"
The orderlies gave a smug look to Leshawna, knowing about Leshawna's attitude.
"Well," The bald, bulky orderly with a clean face let out a smug smile. "Magnum Master told us about your reluctance, so we came up with something just for you."
"Well, what'cha got?"
"Well, Magnum Master is holding a wrestling event at a location he has chosen. If you win, we'll leave you alone; however, if you lose, you're coming with us. Do we have a deal?"
"Yeah yeah. Whatever you say, Baldy."
"Very well..." The bald orderly turns to Duncan. "Yo, Duncan! Are you comin' or what?"
Duncan shrugged "I don't have anything better to do." Duncan walked out of his house. "Where are we going, anyways?"
"Oh, you'll see..." The Inn's staff let Leshawna in the limousine without restraining her in any form. Duncan tagged along, hoping to see what Ira had in store. The limo drove off, heading for a familiar destination far away from Leshawna's house.
"So, Leshawna. What's going on here?"
"Well, Duncan, this limo's seat felt like it's padded or something. Also, I'm basically going to take part in a wrestling event that their manager is holding."
"Girls wrestle?"
"Well, duh! Ever heard of Beth Phoenix? Michelle McCool? Molly Holly?"
"Man, when did the WWE start a female franchise?"
"Well, the first female championship was held in 1956. The Fabulous Moolah won the title that year. The championship was officially renamed 'WWE Divas Championship' in 2010, although the name itself was first used in 2008."
"Where did you get this from?"
"Viewership of the WWE has been in my family since the company's earliest years."
"Wow, that's something..." Duncan raised an eyebrow. "Do you happen to know any finishers?"
"Well, Rey Mysterio has this extreme move called the 6-1-9. Basically, he knocks his opponent against the rope, then he bounces between the ropes before he hits the opponent with a spin-kick on the ropes. It's actually quite difficult to perform if you ask me."
"It also seemed quite unique."
"Mhmm."
The chauffeur stops the limo and turns to everyone behind him. "We're here, guys."
Leshawna looked out the window to see the abandoned film lot. Leshawna was annoyed at the fact that she returned to a place where she competed. "Oh, man! We're back at this stank-ass film lot?"
Ira appears at the entrance of the film lot, taking a look at Leshawna and Duncan. "What can I say? It had a ring in it."
"Wasn't that from the sports-themed episode of Total Drama Action?"
"Wouldn't you know it." Ira turns to the entrance of the film lot, waiting for Leshawna and Duncan to follow. "Follow me." As Ira walked into the premises of the abandoned film lot, Leshawna and Duncan followed along, awaiting the event that lies ahead.
Later that same day, the ring in the film lot becomes a main event. The lights flew across the ring as the crowd cheered, waiting for the match to occur. Duncan sat at the sidelines, eating a slice of pizza as he watches the ring with anticipation. After We Own It played, Ira steps into the ring to announce the event.
"Greetings, folks! Welcome to the 2012 URI Royal Rumble! I'm Ira Spooner, and I'm here to provide you every single detail about this very special event. The rules are simple. Thirty wrestlers will compete against each other in this arena. The first two entrants will engage in combat as soon as the bell rings, and every other entrant will appear one at a time after a time period of ninety seconds or when there is only one person left in the ring, whichever occurs sooner. The winner is the last person in the ring. Any wrestler who is tossed out of the ring will be eliminated. Now, without further ado, here comes the first entrant."
Leshawna appears at a runway designed for the entrance of wrestlers. Leshawna bore a determined look on her face as she walked towards the ring.
"Our first entrant is a special one. She stands at five feet five inches tall and weighs a hefty one hundred sixty-seven pounds. She is not someone who you'd want to become enemies with. Allow me to introduce you to our special guest: Leshawna from Total Drama!"
The crowd cheered as they watched Leshawna's entrance at the ring. Leshawna waved at the crowd, getting their attention as a result. At this time, the second entrance was called into the ring.
"For our second entrant! We have the nurse I've sent over to Leshawna's house earlier this day. She stands at five feet ten inches tall and weighs in at one hundred fifty pounds. Don't be fooled by her looks or her ebony-black hair, because within that body lies one dangerous foe. Please welcome... Black Rose!"
Black Rose cracked her knuckles, staring at her bodacious opponent. The crowd went wild as the introduction comes to a close.
"Now, without further ado, let the event begin!" Ira got off the ring and rung the bell.
Leshawna and Black Rose entered approached each other and engaged in a tie-up with each other.
"You better give up, Dumbo. Our staff is comprised of professional wrestlers."
"Bitch, please! I've tossed a skank like you off of a cliff!" Leshawna tossed Black Rose against the ropes and landed a clothesline against her face. Once Black Rose was on the ground, Leshawna landed a leg drop on Black Rose. "You feel that, skank?!" Leshawna picked up an exhausted Black Rose and tossed her out of the ring, resulting in Black Rose's elimination.
The next entrant, a blonde by the ring name Dominance approached Leshawna from behind and locked her in a submission hold. Leshawna didn't take much damage from the hold and smirked it off, tossing Dominance as a result. "You call THAT a challenge?!" Leshawna blurted out as she grabbed Dominance and prepared to toss her out. "I've seen worse from Chris McLean's crazy show." Dominance was eliminated as a result of another successful toss.
Leshawna managed to defeat each entrant one at a time. As time went by, Leshawna became more weary. To be an entrant who plowed through an entire royal rumble was but a difficult task to achieve, as only two wrestlers became a Royal Rumble champion from the #1 spot. At the time Leshawna defeated the 29th entrant, Leshawna was sweating in exhaustion, but she will not throw in the towel yet. Through an act of desperation, Ira sent a special competitor to the ring
"Alright," Ira called out. "We saved the best for last. She stands at six feet half-an-inch tall and weighs in at one hundred seventy pounds in muscle. All you have to say about her is, 'There's no stopping this chick!' Please welcome... Jo from Total Drama!"
"Oh, this is gonna be good." Duncan took another bite of pizza as he watched the match.
Jo stared at Leshawna, confident about her victory. "How about you just hand the title over to me? The only thing that's in this ring is a tuskless walrus!"
"Oh yeah! Shit is gonna get real!"
Leshawna became pissed off at Jo for insulting her body weight. The least Leshawna would want to hear out of anyone's mouths is an insult about her weight. "Prepare to lose a pair of abs, ya stank-ass cunt!"
An exhausted Leshawna engaged in a tie-up with Jo. Jo didn't see much in Leshawna, especially with Leshawna's bodily state. Making use of this advantage, Jo turned Leshawna upside-down and took her in for a piledriver. While she was on the ground, Leshawna dodged a leg drop, courtesy of Jo. Leshawna made a comeback by climbing onto the corner of the ring and landing an elbow drop onto Jo. After a couple more elbow drops, Jo started to believe that the elbow drops were predictable, giving Leshawna an opening for her next move. Now's my chance... Leshawna tossed Jo towards the rope with a kick to the back. While Jo is in the ropes, Leshawna bounced against the ropes. Once Leshawna returns to Jo, she swings on the ropes and lands a 6-1-9 against Jo, thus tossing her to the other side of the ring.
"Holy mackeral!" Ira shouted. "I've never anything like this! Leshawna successfully pulled off Rey Mysterio's 6-1-9 technique against Jo."
Leshawna approached a stunned Jo and prepares to toss Jo out of the ring, which would ultimately cancel Leshawna's vacation to the inn. Ira bit his nails, certain that Leshawna will defeat Jo. Suddenly, Jo smirked and grabbed Leshawna. Jo's recovery surprised both Leshawna and Ira.
"You thought I'd be knocked out just like that?" Jo lifted Leshawna and tossed her behind herself. Leshawna fell out of the ring, turning what would have been her victory, into her elimination.
"Oh, almost!" Duncan blurted out.
"Holy crap! I don't believe it! Just as Leshawna was about to complete a 30-wrestler run, she was single-handedly defeated in an unexpected move by Jo! The winner and champion of URI Royal Rumble 2012 is Jo from Total Drama!"
Leshawna left the arena, going for a drink of water. Never has she been worn out as a result of other people, let alone in a wrestling event. Abiding by medical recommendations, the orderlies who came for Leshawna gave her ten minutes refresh herself. Leshawna made sure she drank plenty of water during her break. Once the break was over, the orderlies returned with the nylon straitjacket suit from before. "You ready, Leshawna?" said the bald orderly.
"Hang on a moment." Leshawna removed her clothes and underwear. "Okay, suit me up!"
The orderlies grabbed Leshawna and placed her in the straitjacket suit. The suit was aqua-green in color and had a built-in set of pants and ballet boots. Inside the suit, Leshawna felt a slightly-moist feeling.
"Hey, Is this thing lubricated or something?
"Well, the lining of the suit is a special skin lotion that would exfoliate your skin. The heat inside is similar to a sauna."
"I guess that would get a bit of the flakiness off of my body." Leshawna looked at herself, glancing at her curves. "I'll give you props for making me look hotter as well."
"By the way, Magnum Master wants to show you something."
The orderlies took Leshawna to Ira, who was sitting in a trailer with Duncan. Duncan took a look at Leshawna, oblivious about her helplessness.
"Wassup?" Duncan asked.
"Leshawna. It's time I gave you my end of the deal."
Leshawna raised an eyebrow. "What's it about?"
"You've heard Duncan talk about Heather, am I right?"
"Well, yeah. He stated something about watching her get humiliated."
"Well, I think you'll enjoy this," Ira pulled out his phone and opened the video of Courtney's and Heather's situation for Leshawna's viewing pleasure. Out of curiosity, Duncan decided to take a peek at the video, as well.
"Ha! That served her right after all we've been put through."
"Hey..." Duncan had a nervous tick towards Courtney's dilemma. "What's Courtney doing in here?"
"Oh, who cares? At least Heather's getting a taste of karma. Besides, didn't you break up with that Hispanic bitch?"
"Alright alright! No need to remind me!"
After the video finished, Ira put his phone away and prepared to make his last statements to Leshawna. "How do you like it?"
"Dude... That was the best thing I've seen from Heather in a long time."
"I'm glad you like it, Leshawna. Oh, and welcome to Universal Restraints Inn." Ira made a gesture that had his orderlies put a hood over Leshawna's head and take her to the limousine. Ira then smirked at Duncan. "Duncan, the money you've raised for the fight would be enough to cover the charges."
"Aw, man!"
At the limousine, the bald orderly opened the back door for Leshawna, allowing her to get inside. Once inside, Leshawna was strapped to the backseat of the limo before the orderlies entered the limo. After a long battle, Leshawna was finally transported to the Inn.
Back at the inn, Ira watched the limo leave the film lot from the production room, admiring his work. In a sudden moment, Chris walked in to tell Ira about the news.
"Excuse me, Ira. How did Leshawna manage to go through all that trouble to wrestle against your staff?"
"Eh. I've sort of expected her to take on my wrestlers. I was surprised with how she plowed through every entry but the last. I saved Jo for last since the idea was to exhaust Leshawna and overtake her."
"Soo... What's Duncan doing there?"
"Well, the idea is to keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer. Oddly enough, Leshawna gained some level of trust for Duncan near the end of the first season," Ira noticed a nervous Duncan walk into the room. "What's the deal, Duncan?"
"What's Courtney doing in the Daemon Wing?" Duncan replied.
"Why? What's the deal?" Ira asked.
In a confessional, Duncan states his concerns about Courtney's inn placement. "I have no idea why they would put Courtney in the Daemon Wing. Rumor has it that aside from its fetish-y appeal, the Daemon Wing treats its guests harshly. Who knows what might happen to Courtney, let alone anyone who had the misfortune of being assigned a spot at the wing?"
"Um, Duncan? There is a no-privacy clause in the fine print of your contract."
"Try telling that to the Council of Villainous Lawyers, Chris."
"Council of Villainous Lawyers? Ha! What kind of redundant title is that? You'd might as well call this place 'The Hotel Who Binds and Gags People For No Reason Whatsoever' while you're at it!"
"Whoa there, here's the deal. Courtney went to the Daemon Wing because she is a competitive person. Courtney had a rivalry with Heather, plus she was best friends with Gwen. Both Heather and Gwen are placed in the Daemon Wing as well, so things should get interesting over there."
After some thought on it, Duncan left the Confessional Room to take a look at the girls. The scene flipped to Ira and Chris, who looked at each other in confusion. Ira shrugged it off and made plans for the next girl. Time for some forbidden love.

Author's Notes: Leshawna was put in the Angel Wing due to Leshawna's and Heather's alignments. Heather was mentioned to be Leshawna's worst enemy in this story.
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Total Drama Universal Restraints Inn