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Losing Control	By : GabrielC Category: Transformers > G1 > AU/AR Views: 4231 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Transformer. I make no profit from writing this

Chapter List
- 9
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- 11
Blame

Solar Cycle – 1 day

Cycle – 1 hour

Stellar Cycle – 1 year

Astrosecond – 1 second

Deca-cycle – 2 weeks

Jazz’s optics widened when Prowl entered the med bay. Barely able to support his own weight, his door wings drooped and his optics were dim. They brightened somewhat as he glanced over at Jazz. Sadness and guilt clutched at Jazz’s spark, seeing his friend in such a self induced state was painful, especially considering the information he’d discovered before he was captured. Jazz had a feeling he only about to make things much worse for Prowl.

Prime stood beside his SIC a subtle arm gripping his waist, holding him steady. Jazz at least felt comforted that his two superior officers appeared to have grown closer.

“You wanted to speak with us Jazz?” Optimus prompted gently.

“I’ll be in my office.” Ratchet stated quietly, leaving the officers to talk. Jazz let out a deep sigh.

“I’m afraid it couldn’t wait. Ratchet told me of the strange occurrences of the ‘cons seeming to be aware of your every move.”

Optimus frowned as he noticed Prowl lowering his head. He was taking the attacks as a personal failure on his part.

“Yes you were aware that we were beginning to have suspicions that we have a spy, possibly one of Soundwave’s...”

“No Sir.” Jazz interrupted shaking his head.

“Jazz?”

“On my mission before I was captured, I stumbled across some data tracks they’d hidden in their computer. I recorded and saved it after watching it. I was reminded of it when talking to Ratchet. I’m lucky Megatron didn’t discover it.” Jazz paused now on edge, his optics darting between his Prime and his SIC. “Sir you don’t have a spy, I... it’s hard to explain. You both need to see this.” He glanced at Prowl. “You especially Prowl, I’m so sorry...”

“Sorry... for what?” Prowl questioned him in confusion. Jazz shook his head and activated a holo recording, which projected onto the bulkhead. He hung his head unable to watch the data stream again. He winced as the sounds from the track pierced the stark silence of the med bay. Daring to glance up, he noticed Prowl trembling visibly, backing away slowly in horror at what he saw.

“Oh Primus no...” Optimus breathed as he watched the seekers force a spark merge with Prowl after seeing and hearing the ordeal they’d put his SIC through. He turned to find Prowl pressed against the wall behind them, his intakes coming in short sharp pants, his face contorted with a look of disbelief and horror.

“It’s my fault.” His voice was a panicked whisper. “Oh Primus... I... I didn’t know...” Prowl’s head jerked back suddenly, clanging loudly on the metal bulkhead. His frame convulsed as his CPU crashed, dropping to his knees he off loaded onto the floor purging his tanks before slumping to the floor.

“Ratchet!” Optimus bellowed rushing to Prowl’s side; he lifted him gently and placed him onto a berth.

“What the frag happened?”

“He glitched, badly.” Optimus stared at his CMO. “Ratchet the seekers... they forced a spark merge with him.”

The medic’s jaw fell open in horror. “You can’t be serious?”

“Couldn’t be more so, that’s how they’ve been getting information from us, learning our defences. I don’t know how but I believe him when he said he had no idea.” Optimus brushed his hand across Prowl’s cheek, sadness and pain filling his tone. “Can you help him?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. If it’s a full spark bond then...” Ratchet shook his head sadly. Optimus nodded his face grim.

“Please do everything you can.”

Jazz watched Optimus approach as he managed to tear himself away from Prowl’s side. “I’m so sorry Prime.”

“Not your fault Jazz, you did the right thing.”

“Are you going to tell the others?”

Optimus frowned. “I think Prowl’s been through enough, don’t you?”

Jazz nodded his agreement. “My thoughts exactly Sir. It will only create unrest and even though he was forced tensions being as they are...” Jazz lowered his head, casting a side long glance at the black and white mech. “He deserves his privacy.”

“Agreed.” Optimus rested a hand on Jazz’s shoulder. “This stays between us for now. Jazz I am very pleased to get you back.”

Jazz allowed himself a small smile. “Glad to be back, just wish it was under better circumstances.”

“Get some rest. If you need to talk?”

Jazz nodded gratefully, his own ordeal at the back of his mind. “Thanks... uumm Optimus?”

His leader turned before exiting following Jazz’s sad gaze back to Prowl. “You care about him?”

His optics met Jazz’s visor. He hesitated well aware of how close his two officers were. “More than is appropriate.” He gauged Jazz’s reaction carefully as the visor flickered over briefly at his words. He sighed sadly. “However at this point, more than is welcome.”

Jazz smiled thinly. “I’m sure he’ll come around Sir.” He replied, his voice catching in his throat. Seeing Prowl so vulnerable had stirred feelings in him that he thought he’d let go of, it had been a long time before they had travelled to Earth that he had been in an intimate relationship with Prowl so he shrugged it off as nothing, even as the little tendril of jealousy niggled deep at his cortex. Optimus watched him carefully. Jazz looked up at him once more, his visor dim. “He’ll come around Sir; he needs someone... even if the glitch doesn’t admit it.”

Optimus smiled at him warmly. “I hope you’re right Jazz, whomever he chooses to confide in.” Jazz’s head snapped up at the loaded words. Optimus nodded and left the med bay.

****

Jazz was confined to the med bay until his repairs had time to heal. He found himself accosted by almost every ‘bot on the base until Ratchet finally lost his cool and declared the med bay off limits.

Ironhide was the only one who dared defy the medic. Jazz cast him a smirk as he peered his head around the door. “Is he here?”

“Nah, you’re safe ‘Hide.” Jazz chuckled, being in Ironhide’s company helped him to forget for the moment about his conflicting feelings towards the ‘bot lying in the next berth and being cooped up in the med bay had given him far too much time to dwell on them.

“Good.” The red mech cast a grim look over at Prowl’s unconscious form. “How’s he doin’?”

Jazz dipped his head sadly. “Ratchet tried to revive him last solar cycle but his CPU has fused to some of the wiring in his battle computer. It didn’t online when he did and I... I think he was having flashbacks to when the seekers...”

“Yeah.” Ironhide finished. “We heard screamin’... was that him?”

Jazz nodded. “Ratchet had to sedate him again, been workin’ on him ever since.”

Ironhide came up beside the berth, his grey hand brushing subtly against Jazz’s leg. “So... how are ya?”

“Bored. Doc doesn’t like hearin’ tunes while he works.”

Ironhide returned Jazz’s grin. “Jazz with what happened with Megatron... I mean ya know that I umm... can listen ya know... if ya need to...”

“It’s ok ‘Hide.” Jazz ducked his head, sensing Ironhide’s discomfort.

“I wasn’t suggestin’ that ya do or can’t manage, just that... well...”

Jazz let out a small laugh, his optics casting once more towards Prowl, beneath his visor. Jazz had a feeling that there was going to be only one mech he could talk to about what he went through, one that he was sure would understand and wouldn’t judge him. Guilt washed over him as he wished he’d been there for him, but he’d been so caught up in his own troubles with the fiery Ironhide, he had neglected to see his friend slipping into despair.

“Don’t worry ‘Hide, I’m fine, really. Can’t keep me blue.” He flashed Ironhide a smile, knowing it to be insincere, but not wanting Ironhide to feel uncomfortable around him. The red mech relaxed visibly and proceeded to regale Jazz about his new training exercise for the twins and how things had been in his absence. He cast a regret filled glance at the SIC.

“I gave Prowl a pretty hard time, I know I shouldn’t ‘ave but I was so angry. Now I kinda feel responsible for him bein’ like this.” Ironhide hung his head. “He didn’t fight back, not once. Took what happened t’ya as a personal failure I think. I wish I hadn’t been so hard on him. He’d be awake now to enjoy the peace we have now that the ‘cons are finally givin’ us some breathing room.”

“Wait the ‘cons have stopped attacking?” Jazz widened his optics.

“Yeah ever since Prowl colla – wait.”

Jazz tensed as he watched Ironhide frown and stare towards the SIC. “Primus.”

“Now Ironhide let’s not jump to conclusions.”

“What else could it be? I was right, I can’t believe I was right. I’ve got ta speak ta Prime!” The red mech bolted to the door.

“Ironhide wait! This isn’t what you thi – mmphm!” Jazz’s words were cut off by a fierce kiss. Ironhide pulled away leaving Jazz gasping. He smiled. “I missed ya!” He dashed from the room before Jazz could stop him. Jazz sank back into the berth wearily. Things were getting more complicated by the cycle. Sighing he shuttered his optics. Megatron’s familiar leer loomed over him and the pain felt very real.

Jazz jerked upright on the berth panting. Ratchet looked over at him. “Wondered when you’d wake up.” The medic approached him. “Bad recharge?”

Jazz sank back down. “The worst.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“Nah I’m ok.”

Ratchet sighed. “Jazz you need to tell someone. What about Ironhide?”

Jazz let out a bitter laugh. “He doesn’t want to hear it, too busy accusing Prowl of being a traitor.”

“Mmmm well you can be assured that Prime set him straight on that one.”

“Just like him to go off like that though, doesn’t listen.”

“Jazz.”

The black and white mech glanced up at the medic, who had perched himself on the side of his berth. “Talk to me.” He held up his hand to silence his protests. “Can be about anything just talk.”

Jazz smiled gratefully as Ratchet patted his hand in reassurance.

****

It became a regular occurrence over the next few solar cycles, towards the end of a frustrating few cycles diligently working on Prowl’s CPU, Ratchet would leave the med bay and return shortly afterward with two cubes of energon. Seating himself beside Jazz’s berth, the two mechs would talk well into the night until it came time for Jazz to leave the med bay.

Ratchet was bent over Prowl’s berth, focused solely on the intricacies of his battle computer.

“How’s he doin’?”

Ratchet jumped and cursed loudly, frowning at Jazz as he leaned over. “He should be online soon; I want Prime here when he wakes up.”

Jazz nodded absently, as Ratchet close the panels on Prowl’s helm. “What can I do for you Jazz?” He glanced quizzically at the mech who looked clearly distracted. “Would have thought you’d avoid this place now you’re free to leave.”

Jazz paced a little, running his fingers across panels avoiding Ratchet’s gaze. “I just thought you’d be up for talkin’ is all. It’s no problem if you’re busy...”

“My office?”

Jazz cast him a wry grin. “Thanks doc.”

The two mechs sat in the office for over a cycle sharing high grade before Jazz fell quiet.

“I keep waking up thinking I’m back there, with Megatron.”

Ratchet tensed a little at the sudden change in conversation. “Uumm do you remember most of what happened?”

Jazz sighed and nodded, resting his elbow on the desk. “All of it. It was surreal mostly. Megatron almost seemed like he wanted to treat me well. It was only bad on the solar cycles he’d been fighting you guys and losing.” He shook his head. “He’d take it out on me. I got so used to Hook having to check on me, it felt like I had my very own nurse.” He laughed softly at this; Ratchet frowned not seeing the humour.

Jazz sighed, glancing out of the windows of the office. “I had a lot of time to think being held there. Priorities ya know, who was important to me... you know who kept coming to mind?” He shot Ratchet a look filled with mirth and sadness. The medic pressed his lips into a thin line, waiting for him to continue. Jazz turned back his gaze to the med bay, his optics taking in every inch of Prowl’s frame. “He was there in my cortex the entire time; I could almost hear his voice on the bad days, telling me not to give up. Primus it was surreal, I am now just realising how crazy this all sounds.” Jazz laughed shortly again.

“Not crazy, it’s understandable. You and Prowl are close, and you were in an intimate relationship with him many stellar cycles ago.”

“You know about that?”

Ratchet looked amused. “I know everything, medic’s prerogative.”

“I guess you do.”

“If I can ask though, you seemed confused about how you feel. Why did you separate?”

“Aw Ratchet it was before we came here, to Earth I mean. We had a falling out kinda.”

“Falling out?”

“Oh yeah... umm... ahem... it’s kind of my fault.”

Ratchet raised an orbital ridge in amusement.

“Well I was sent on an undercover mission and before I went Prowl asked me to bond with him. I couldn’t give him an answer and I went without giving him one. I didn’t know Ratchet; I was a little too free spirited back then. I mean Prowl was everything to me but... anyway the mission went wrong; we were caught in an explosion. It was reported that I’d been killed. I was living amongst Decepticons undercover just to survive until I could get out without being killed. I got back to Iacon, got in touch with Prowl and my team to come get me but...”

“So what happened?”

“Well, I don’t know if I should be tellin’ ya this doc.” Jazz flashed him a contrite grin.

“Well Prowl never brought up bonding again he... he changed; he became a lot colder, more distant and more dedicated to his work. He decided to end it before it got too serious, stating it wasn’t wise during war times and we had other priorities. It hurt more than I thought it would but... We went our separate ways. Didn’t see him for a good few stellar cycles, not until we were both assigned to Prime’s team. You ask me he got spooked; now he's too scared to get close to any mech for fear he’ll lose them.”

“Well I’ll be. I knew you two had a relationship...” Ratchet frowned suddenly. “You’re aware of Prime’s growing affection for him aren’t you?”

Jazz nodded. “Yeah, don’t worry Ratchet I’m not going to get in his way. Whatever Prowl and I had its long done.”

“You sure about that?” Ratchet asked softly.

Jazz didn’t respond, mulling over the question in his cortex. The two mechs sat in silence for a little while, sipping their high grade. Jazz’s thoughts drifted back to his time in captivity, anger bubbled up within him as he picture Megatron’s face.

“Frag it, I just want the last interface I had to be with someone other than Megatron. Need to get the slagger out of my processor!”

Ratchet jumped a little at the unexpected outburst. “I thought you and Ironhide?”

“Yeah I thought so but he hasn’t, he won’t. I mean we nearly did but he couldn’t, kept asking me if something was wrong. I think he’s afraid I’ll break or something, like I’m made of glass, he already feels guilty enough.”

Jazz sank back in his chair arms folded staring at his now empty energon cube.

“I’m sure Ironhide will relax, just give him time.”

“’bots got needs doc.” Jazz smirked at the medic as the white mech downed the rest of his high grade. A delicious thought invaded his CPU. “Ratchet... we could.”

The medic spluttered his last mouthful. “Wha...?”

Jazz was on his feet circling the desk. “You could call it treatment; I mean you are helping me, giving me what I need.”

“Jazz I don’t know, you’ve been through a lot.”

A fist clanged loudly on the desk. “Frag it Ratchet! I thought you’d understand the need to not be treated any differently.” Jazz turned sharply, pacing. He came to a halt, resting the front of his helm against the bulkhead. “I just want a better memory and Primus do you realise how irritatingly sensitive repaired interface components are? I’m going out of my mind! Ironhide won’t touch me, like he’s scared of catching something... Arrggghh... it’s so slaggin’ frustrating!”

His fist collided with the bulkhead loudly. Resting his helm on the wall he let out a heavy sigh off lining his optics while he composed himself.

Strong hands rested on his shoulders. Thumbs rubbing along the seams in slow relaxing circles. “I’m sorry Jazz; I just don’t think I’m the best one to ask for that sort of umm aftercare.”

Jazz angled his head back in response to Ratchet’s soothing massage of his shoulders. The tensions seemed to disappear beneath his expert fingers. “Oh I dunno’ doc I think you’re exactly what I need.”

He leaned into Ratchet’s chassis, a gently heat emanating from his frame seeping into Ratchet. The medic took a deep intake of air as he continued his deep gently massage of Jazz’s shoulders, his hands moved slowly down his back, pressing into wires and sensitive sensory nodes, easing the tensions knotting Jazz’s armour.

Jazz let out a low soft keen of enjoyment as he relaxed, Ratchet’s hands slipped around to his chest, fingertips tracing the line of his bumper, sliding down to his waist, digging beneath his armour stroking the sensitive protoform beneath.

Jazz groaned, his head dropping back onto Ratchet’s shoulder. The white mech hesitated briefly before dipping his head. His lips closed around the exposed wiring in Jazz’s neck, nipping lightly. One hand trailed up Jazz’s throat towards the horns on his head. Jazz let out a mewl of excitement as he stroked them firmly.

Heat was building all over Jazz’s frame, his air intakes becoming slower, deeper. Turning to face Ratchet he surprised him with a playful light kiss, teasing with his glossa before deepening it needily.

Ratchet let out a moan, as Jazz’s keen hands returned the favour, exploring every inch of his white frame, slipping lower to remove his interface panel. He revealed Ratchet’s eager spike and grinned with anticipation as he pulled Ratchet down onto the floor so the white mech lay on top of him.

No words needed to be said, Ratchet knew what Jazz wanted. He entered Jazz’s sensitive valve slowly, careful not to damage or over stimulate the new components. Jazz’s mouth parted in a silent moan, arching into the slow deep thrusts of Ratchet’s spike. He felt warmth bubbling inside his valve as it clenched around his hard length.

Ratchet began to thrust faster, pushing his full length into Jazz repeatedly, holding it at that point for a few seconds each time. He gasped with each thrust as Jazz clawed at his back plating. Their cooling fans whirred loudly. The heat was almost scalding as they writhed together faster, more passionately.

Jazz cried out loudly as the thrusts got harder and more frantic. He couldn’t hold back anymore, this was the most satisfied he’d felt for so long. Jazz cried Ratchet’s name loudly as overload hit him hard, sending his body into shudders of pleasure, the deep ache in his valve spreading throughout his circuits as Ratchet continued to thrust into the constricting wet valve.

Ratchet overloaded with a grunt, biting his lip hard. Transfluid burst into the valve causing Jazz to whine in satisfaction, groaning loudly as he writhed on the floor.

Ratchet muffled those delicious sounds with his mouth, his glossa tasting every inch of Jazz’s oral plating as they tensed and shivered, locked together as the pangs of post overload riddled their circuitry.

They came to rest on their backs, panting, trying to cool down.

“Damn that’s some bedside manner you got there doc. Unngghh... I might have to get you to make house calls.” Jazz laughed lightly as Ratchet humphed in feigned irritation. They soon fell into an easy recharge on Ratchet’s office floor.

Just across from the open office door Prowl groaned softly, having heard pretty much everything with growing concern and then subsequent discomfort. “I should have stayed off line.” He grumbled gently before drifting into a more restful recharge.
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Losing Control