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Plankton's Journey To The Brain Of Sandy Cheeks	By : xandermartin98 Category: +S through Z > SpongeBob SquarePants Views: 7990 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: AFF Disclaimer: I do not own Spongebob Squarepants. Nor I do make profit from it

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
JOURNEY TO THE CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM OF SANDY CHEEKS
by XanderMartin98 (of freaking course)
One rather deceptively peaceful and boring afternoon in Bikini Bottom, Spongebob had a whole week's worth of days off from his burger-cooking job at the Krusty Krab due to Spring Break requirements (which Mr. Krabs strongly objected to, as one would most likely expect...until he was held at gunpoint by Squidward, that is) and had therefore decided to spend the first day of said week going on a good old-fashioned date with one of his absolute best friends in the whole wide world (Sandy Cheeks, obviously).
After ironically going to the Krusty Krab and ordering exactly two Krabby Patties to-go so that they could ever-so-merrily eat said burgers together at the picnic table in Sandy's TreeDome (while the rather sexily bikini-clad Sandy lovingly teased Spongebob about how quickly he had to scarf his down in order to still have time to put his water helmet back on before his entire body dried up, of course), Spongebob and the thoroughly re-space-suited Sandy had decided to take the latter's sun-bathing chairs to the rather surprisingly deserted Goo Lagoon and contentedly sleep together while VERY mushily dreaming about cuddling and kissing each other.
MEANWHILE, AT THE CHUM BUCKET...
"Ugh...TALK about vomit-inducing sappiness! Why, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that those two are a full-fledged MARRIED couple!" Plankton (who was standing atop the coffee table of his living room) stuck his tongue out and disgustedly groaned in disapproval as Karen (his sentient computer and *desperately holds breath to stop self from laughing* wife) reluctantly displayed his remote-controlled flying camera drone's rather stalker-ish live recording of Spongebob and Sandy sleeping together at Goo Lagoon while he steered said drone through said beach's basically non-existent air using what appeared to be a very heavily modified RC car controller.
"Wow, look who's talking!" Karen rather annoyedly reminded Plankton, causing him to exasperatedly roll his eye in response.
"Anyway, WHY exactly are you watching these two sleep with each other, again? You don't actually expect the two of them to mate with each other in PUBLIC, do you?" Karen rather worriedly asked Plankton while said micro-organism began lecherously drooling and panting from the mere thought of watching Sandy and Spongebob engage in sexual intercourse with each other, causing Karen to VERY disgustedly slap him across the face with her left hand in response.
"Oh, for CRYING out loud, haven't you freaking SEEN the types of crazy-ass things that those two are willing to do in public? Honestly, they practically make ME look sane by comparison, for Neptune's sake!" Plankton rubbed his sore and aching right cheek with his right hand and very loudly and frustratedly pointed out to Karen, who was now firmly grasping her non-existent "hips" with her hands and VERY disappointedly glaring straight down at him using her "digital eyes" feature.
"Well, yeah, but you still haven't answered my question using actual words; WHY are you suddenly so interested in spying on these two during their beauty rest, apart from you just naturally being a total creep?" Karen persistently continued asking Plankton, continuing to angrily glare at him as she did so.
"Because I've been waiting for SUCH a long freaking time to finally get my revenge on Sandy for constantly rubbing her so-called ‘super-intelligence’ in my face as if she's SO much smarter than I am...and personally, I think that now I finally know EXACTLY how to do so!" Plankton rubbed his hands together like a filthy little fly and maliciously cackled with glee while Karen ever-so-exhaustedly shrugged and groaned "here we go again" to herself in response.
"Well, what are you WAITING for? SHRINK-A-TIZE ME, KAREN!" Plankton threw his arms straight up into the "air" and FAR-too-excitedly commanded Karen while said computer wife of his inexplicably transformed her right hand into a "shrink ray" cannon and then VERY reluctantly complied with said order in response.
"Now go ahead and open the garage for me, Karen; you've got a military TANK to load me into, not to mention an 'innocent, unassuming' squirrel lady's EAR to shoot me into!" Plankton (despite being even more laughably tiny than he normally was) ever-so-imperiously continued commanding Karen while said computer VERY fearfully whispered "I just KNOW that I'm not going to like this" to herself in response.
TEN MINUTES LAY-TERR, AT GOO LAGOON, APPROXIMATELY THIRTY SECONDS AFTER KAREN HAD INCREASINGLY-RELUCTANTLY USED PLANKTON'S AFOREMENTIONED PLANK-TANK TO BOMB SAID BEACH WITH ONE OF HIS TRADEMARKED "SILENT BUT DEADLY" SLEEPING GAS BOMBS...
"Oh, MAN...this is just TOO easy..." Plankton increasingly-arousedly moaned to himself as his very un-stealthily life-sized Plank-Tank (which Karen was piloting from within) slowly but surely approached the rather surprisingly humble beauty-resting place of Spongebob and Sandy with said micro-organism already being thoroughly loaded into the secondary micro-cannon underneath its main cannon (and also wearing a nigh-indestructible and very fittingly bright-green mechanical space suit that was very clearly modeled after hazmat suits and also featured a very conveniently water-filled and ALSO nigh-indestructible astronaut helmet, although the actual “suit” portion of said space suit rather ironically was mostly just his way of protecting himself from the effects of his own sleeping gas and whatnot).
"Plankton, seriously, are you SURE that you really want to do this to this poor little sweetheart? I mean, COME on, she's just trying to freaking SLEEP, for God’s sake! What did she ever REALLY do to YOU, huh?! ANSWER ME!" Karen abruptly parked the Plank-Tank approximately 500 feet away from Spongebob and Sandy (who were both facing more-or-less-directly toward its front) and began increasingly-furiously nagging at Plankton (as if she was his Jewish mother, no less) using her cell phone's direct communication link to the antennae of his suit's helmet (which would basically never be used again due to how utterly pointless of a feature of said suit it actually was, but I digress).
"Oh, good LORD; why don't you try saving your utterly shameless guilt-tripping for someone who actually freaking CARES, you pathetic sniveling crybaby?" Plankton bitterly and hatefully sneered at Karen, who VERY irritatedly crossed her arms over her chest and went "HMPH" in response while Plankton's aforementioned sleeping gas continued to surprisingly-invisibly linger in the "air" that was surrounding Spongebob and Sandy.
"FINE, then; maybe I WILL, you freaking annoying jackass!" Karen somewhat jokingly sneered back at Plankton as she used the Plank-Tank's targeting screen to VERY carefully aim said tank's micro-cannon directly at the top of Sandy's forehead (give or take trajectory adjustments) before then finally readying herself to hit said tank's ALTERNATE FIRE button and therefore rather regrettably allow Plankton to give Sandy the downright agonizing headache (not to mention quite possibly the mental illness) of a lifetime.
"3...2...1..." Karen rather audibly swallowed her pride and began increasingly-ominously counting down, with her hands VERY nervously trembling as she did so while Plankton just smugly grinned from ear to ear and whispered "now THAT'S the type of thing that I like to hear; any second now" to himself.
"F-F-FIRE!" Karen VERY self-loathingly stammered as she forcefully hit the Plank-Tank's aforementioned ALTERNATE FIRE button with her right index finger, sending Plankton flying an incredible distance through the "air" and directly toward Sandy's ever-so-shiny glass helmet while said micro-organism rather predictably (not to mention idiotically) yelled "SANDY'S BRAIN, HERE I COME" and whatnot at the tops of his comically diminutive lungs all the while, causing Karen to VERY disappointedly face-palm herself with her right hand and very relatably mutter "when will he ever learn?" underneath her breath in response while dejectedly shaking her head as if to say "no" as she did so.
"CRACK!" Sandy's helmet rather distinctly went as Plankton (with the help of his suit, of course) busted an extremely small but EXTREMELY unfortunate hole right through it before then finally landing atop her delightfully warm and fuzzy scalp with a rather satisfyingly resounding THUD...a THUD that Karen almost mistook for a SPLAT at first, no less, causing her to become all the more ironically worried about Plankton's well-being (not to mention whether or not said micro-organism actually was, in fact, still alive) as a result.
"Hey, Plankton, are you all right by any chance? Did my shot reach its target, darling?" Karen somewhat fearfully asked Plankton using her cell phone, to which Plankton ever-so-smugly shrugged his shoulders and replied "why, of COURSE, honey; you've got absolutely NOTHING to worry about".
"Uh, YEAH, I'm DEFINITELY going to have to whole-heartedly disagree with THAT particular statement of yours, mister..." Karen VERY abruptly hung up on Plankton and then rather disgustedly muttered to herself as she promptly turned the Plank-Tank right around and then drove it straight back to the Chum Bucket, where it belonged.
"Now let's see here...which one of these utterly adorable little ears of hers should I sneak into Sandy’s head through? Eenie, meenie, minie...oh, SCREW it, they're both exactly the freaking same anyway!" Plankton somewhat nervously wondered out loud to himself, then rather frustratedly reminded himself as he quickly yet quietly scampered his way across the top of the (thankfully) still-fast-asleep Sandy's head and into her left ear while the hole that he had just made in her helmet somehow automatically repaired itself due to said helmet being made out of her very recently patented Regenerating Glass (but not quite quickly enough to prevent some of Plankton's aforementioned sleeping gas, along with quite a bit of Sandy's local ocean water, from ever-so-sneakily seeping its way into Sandy's suit through said hole, of course).
"HELLO? Anyone HEAR (HERE)?" Plankton (who was now very unwelcomely standing in Sandy's left ear funnel) briefly pulled out a megaphone from his suit's infinite-storage-boasting Hammerspace (left pants) pocket and then rather teasingly yelled into Sandy's left ear canal through said megaphone in a rather disturbingly perfect imitation of Spongebob's voice, somehow managing to ham said performance up so ridiculously much that his words quite literally echoed all the way through Sandy's head and then came out of said head through her right ear.
"Of COURSE, Spongebob; geez, you really shouldn't yell so loudly! My TreeDome can and WILL break, you know!" Sandy somewhat annoyedly scolded Spongebob out loud in her sleep (since, after all, she was still very passionately dreaming about him) while Plankton snidely chuckled "heh heh, what an utter FOOL" to himself as he ever-so-slyly tip-toed his way into Sandy's left ear canal, where he was immediately greeted by the ever-so-wonderful sight of Sandy's disgustingly detailed ear flesh, ear wax and ear hair (not to mention her generally rather eerily human ear anatomy).
"EUGH...I sure do hope that reaching Sandy's brain is worth going through THIS, I gotta say..." Plankton nauseatedly groaned as he VERY carefully tip-toed his way past the numerous clumps of sticky and slimy wax in Sandy's left ear canal, also making sure to not make her ear hairs vibrate too much (despite the fact that he had just yelled at her loudly enough for said yell to travel all the way through her entire hearing system, mind you) as he gently but very rapidly made his way to the end of Sandy's left ear canal, where he was very rudely greeted by a rather freakishly large and bloody weak spot on her left eardrum.
"Gawlly, I SHORE hope ya don't mind me wand’ring into yer noggin ta see hwat's makin' ya TICK, pard'ner!" Plankton spitefully mocked Sandy (mostly her extreme Southern-fried-ness), gratefully looking up at the small but incredibly bloated (genetically modified miniature Asian Longhorned) tick that was now (sucking) on the upper-right corner of Sandy's left eardrum (so that it could then later proceed to crawl straight back out of the ever-so-adorably unsuspecting Sandy's left ear and THEN lay yet ANOTHER great big batch of somehow-instantly-hatching eggs for her to accidentally forget to manually exterminate a rather maddeningly scant few of the resulting larvae/babies from in her precious little eco-friendly TreeDome once she finally got back to said TreeDome and removed her suit there) as he briefly pulled out a laser knife from his suit's aforementioned (not to mention incredibly convenient) Hammerspace pocket so that he could cut a nice big (bloody) hole through Sandy's left eardrum using said weak spot.
"Gee WHIZ, Spongebob; your voice is so frickin' annoying that it’s actually managed to perforate one of my EARDRUMS!" Sandy increasingly-irritatedly continued scolding Spongebob out loud in her sleep as Plankton deviously and cacklingly made his way through said blissfully unaware squirrel lady's left middle ear, making especially sure to not accidentally fall down her left eustachian tube as he then proceeded to deftly squeeze his way through the entrance opening of Sandy's left inner ear, where he was greeted by a shockingly complex maze of hearing tubes that actually required him to use his suit's Anatomical GPS feature so that he could figure out how to successfully navigate his way through it without driving himself (even more) utterly insane in the process.
"And now the ear of mine that said eardrum belongs to is RINGING, for crying out loud!" Sandy exasperatedly finished scolding Spongebob out loud in her sleep as Plankton finally reached her vestibulocochlear nerve and was transported directly into her incredibly powerful and actually rather fascinatingly complex brain through said nerve while the "air purification" feature of her suit finally kicked in and began automatically removing the recently introduced traces of Plankton's sleeping gas from said suit.
"Sweet mother of Neptune, it's so freaking BEAUTIFUL..." Plankton orgasmically (not to mention DROOLINGLY) moaned, nearly creaming himself from his own sheer excitement as he indulgently feasted his eye on the gorgeously fleshy, spongy, veiny and wrinkly (not to mention weirdly hollow) interior of Sandy's brain (which, luckily enough, was still blissfully unaware of his presence within it as he spoke), taking note of the astonishingly neat and tidy network of neuron wires in its upper section as he increasingly-eagerly made his way through its lower section so that he could then proceed to FINALLY take control over the rather unfortunately interactive super-computer that was somehow built into its frontal lobe.
"Heh heh...let's see how useful this fancy-schmancy INTELLIGENCE of yours is to you when I'M the one behind the metaphorical steering wheel of its source, Sandy!" Plankton very hatefully and ever-so-enviously sneered as he immediately stepped into the control cockpit surrounding said super-computer and pressed its POWER button with his right hand, immediately turning it back on and causing Sandy to VERY suddenly wake up as a result while the electrical activity that had already been going on in her neuron wires began to (rather notably) intensify accordingly.
"HUH?" Sandy reflexively swung her back straight up into sitting position (luckily, the internal floor of her brain somehow had its own gravitational pull) and loudly gasped in shock as she rather abruptly woke from her beauty rest while the sleeping gas that had previously been surrounding her and Spongebob finally began fading from the "air".
"Alright, Karen, I'm in! Now, since you apparently seem to have such a cripplingly massive crush on the 'cuddly little sweetie-pie', go ahead and tell me; what are the log-in name and password of Sandy's Microsoft account?" Plankton pulled out his cell phone from his suit's Hammerspace pocket and VERY smugly asked Karen through it while Sandy's suit somehow automatically flushed all of the water that had just recently leaked into it out of itself.
"Go ahead, MAKE me freaking tell you!" Karen increasingly-hatefully-and-angrily sneered at Plankton through her own cell phone, nearly crushing it in her left hand Vegeta-style as she did so.
"Go a-HEAD, just IMAGINE how much DAMAGE I might cause to this oh-so-precious little BRAIN of hers if you don't follow my ORDERS! I freaking DARE you!" Plankton downright-sadistically sneered back at Karen through HIS own cell phone, confirming the sincerity of said waifu death(?) threat by forcefully hanging up on her (just for extra emphasis, no less) RIGHT after he had finished making it.
"SandraChilton99 and GR5cLQx74" Karen horrifiedly and VERY hastily texted to Plankton using HER own cell phone, causing said micro-organism to increasingly-devilishly grin from ear to ear and ever-so-maliciously cackle like a (quite literal) demon in response.
"Gosh, how long of a time HAVE I been dreaming about Spongebob for? And why is everyone else here asleep?" Sandy rather confusedly wondered out loud to herself, placing her right hand (quite literally) over her forehead and curiously looking around to see whether or not there actually was even a single non-asleep “person” in her entire general vicinity other than her; surely enough, there wasn't.
"And WHY is my left ear in such downright excruciating PAIN all of a sudden?" Sandy placed her left hand onto the left side of her helmet and indignantly whined while Plankton ever-so-sneakily logged himself into her aforementioned brain control super-computer and then immediately went straight into its Manual Control Panel.
"Most importantly, WHY do I have such an incredibly sneaking suspicion that someone and/or some-THING somehow just snuck into my- HOLY CRAP, WHAT THE HELL?!" Sandy nervously glanced back and forth around herself and increasingly-confusedly began whispering to herself, then suddenly went cross-eyed for roughly three entire seconds and downright-horrifiedly screamed in shock (causing Spongebob to wake up just as suddenly and startledly as she had, naturally enough) as Plankton gleefully took control over her arms and made her pull her suit's main zipper down with her right hand in order to expose her slim, sexy and irresistibly bikini-clad chest.
"OOH, YEAH...I gotta say, THIS woman right here is DEFINITELY going to be one INCREDIBLY fun new toy for me to play with..." Plankton lasciviously drooled, panted and moaned as he used the third-person "mind's eye" mode of the Vision program in Sandy's brain to get himself an incredibly thorough eyeful of the ever-so-adorably plump, round and juicy shape(s) of Sandy's breasts while he still had the chance; needless to say, his helmet’s antennae were both standing INCREDIBLY straight up as he did so.
"SPONGEBOB, PLEASE CALL THE NEAREST DOCTOR RIGHT NOW, PLEASE! THERE'S SOMEONE IN MY FREAKING HEAD RIGHT NOW, I SWEAR TO CHRIST! AND THERE'S AT LEAST A 95% CHANCE THAT SAID SOMEONE'S NAME IS PLANKTON! YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO HELP ME GET HIM OUT, I'M BEGGING YOU!" Sandy VERY hastily re-closed her suit's main zipper and then immediately began maniacally yelling and shrieking in horror, grabbing Spongebob by the armpits and wildly shaking the crap out of him as she did so while her eyes suddenly became distinctly bloodshot and changed the shape(s) of their pupils from "black dots" to "black circles" just for extra emphasis; needless to say, the fellow beach attendants surrounding her and Spongebob gave her all SORTS of weird looks in response.
"Oh, CALM down, Sandy; we both know that you really just had a bad dream! It's all in your HEAD, you silly goose!" Spongebob shrugged his shoulders and ever-so-playfully teased Sandy while the poor (squirrel) girl began trembling even more nervously in response...before then suddenly turning herself right around and throwing him into Goo Lagoon's namesake brine pool as Plankton began taking control over the rest of her body (starting with her ever-so-delightfully lovely and slender legs, of course).
"HEY, what the heck was THAT for?!" Spongebob shook his right fist at Sandy and irritatedly yelled at her as he brine-drippingly walked his way back over to where she was standing while she very tightly (not to mention meditatively) closed her eyes and desperately struggled to resist Plankton's newfound control over her...but unfortunately, said effort was already completely useless.
"SPONGEBOB, SERIOUSLY, HE'S ALREADY AT MY BEHAVIORAL COMMAND CENTER AS WE SPEAK! I'M ABOUT TO OFFICIALLY NO LONGER EVEN BE IN CONTROL OF MY OWN ACTIONS, FOR GOD'S SAKE! WHO KNOWS WHAT THAT FREAKING SICK BASTARD MIGHT MAKE ME DO FOR HIS OWN AMUSEMENT!?" Sandy tightly clutched her helmet with both of her hands and increasingly-mortifiedly continued shrieking at Spongebob at the tops of her ever-loving lungs while Frank (who was Goo Lagoon's lifeguard from “Ripped Pants” in this episode) snuck up behind her and quite literally kicked her right in the ass in response.
"HEY! Watch where you're going, ya FOOL!" Sandy turned around to face Frank and rather angrily yelled at him, shaking her right fist at him in the classic “pissed-off driver” fashion that we all know and love as she did so.
"Oh, I'M sorry; I'm no longer in CONTROL of my ACTIONS!" Frank shrugged his shoulders and VERY sarcastically teased Sandy as both he and literally every other non-Sandy "person" at the beach (yes, even including Spongebob) then immediately proceeded to INCREDIBLY-spitefully point and laugh at her in response (not to mention unison).
"STOP FREAKING LAUGHING AT ME!" Sandy buried her face in her hands, sat down on the ground in criss-cross (applesauce) position and miserably cried while everyone around her continued pointing and laughing at her more-or-less just for the pure pleasure of doing so (perhaps also to make fun of her for being a land critter rather than a sea creature, but that's a very different story for another much later point in this episode).
"Hmm, let's see here...what method of utterly sadistic torture should I use on her first?" Plankton rather confusedly scratched his helmet with his right hand and ever-so-curiously wondered out loud to himself before then proceeding to grin from ear to ear, rub his hands together like the greedy little bastard that he was and quite frankly always had been, and supremely-maliciously cackle with delight as he suddenly began having ideas...horrible, wonderful, utterly AWFUL ideas!
"Heh heh heh...HUH?" Plankton ever-so-smugly chuckled to himself...then rather confusedly gasped in surprise as all of a sudden, completely out of nowhere, his cell phone began ringing yet again!
"YES? What is it THIS time, I wonder?" Plankton increasingly-frustratedly and rather sarcastically groaned as he pulled out his cell phone from his suit's Hammerspace pocket yet again and rather reluctantly readied himself for yet ANOTHER incredibly whiny lecture from his ridiculously over-protective (computer) wife.
"Plankton, please don't torment my sweet little squirrel-shaped cupcake TOO much, okay? I REALLY don't want to see her die and/or get locked up in an asylum as a result of whatever downright unholy things you're presumably planning to do to her right now; do you freaking HEAR me, mister?" Karen increasingly-worriedly continued nagging at Plankton while said micro-organism exasperatedly rolled his eye and VERY hatefully muttered "freaking lesbian 'social justice' whore" to himself in response.
"WHAT was that, mister?" Karen downright-SEETHINGLY hissed at Plankton, rather audibly trembling with pent-up anger as she did so.
"Oh, nothing! TEE HEE HEE!" Plankton ever-so-snidely-and-gigglingly teased Karen, hanging up on her as he did so.
"UGH! For the love of Christ, how much more freaking selfish and arrogant can that utterly obnoxious little bastard GET?!" Karen rolled her (digital) eyes, threw her arms out beside herself and disgustedly groaned in VERY genuinely intense disapproval, already wanting to terminate her marriage to Plankton more and more with each passing minute while said micro-organism ever-so-deviously agreed with Sandy's rather startlingly urgent and desperate request to be taken to the nearest doctor for a much-needed "head surgery" operation.
"SPONGEBOB, SERIOUSLY, I'M LITERALLY GOING TO FREAKING DIE IF YOU DON'T TAKE ME TO THE NEAREST HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW!" Sandy got down onto her knees, placed her hands together in prayer position, and began mawkishly crying and wailing in a downright-pathetically desperate attempt to get Spongebob to take her to said Bikini Bottom Hospital while Spongebob crossed his arms over his chest, lowered the top parts of his eyelids, impatiently tapped his left foot against the ground and VERY sarcastically glared at her as if to say "gee WHIZ, are you freaking DONE yet?".
"Okay, okay, I freaking GET it; you think that Plankton has invaded your brain, so you want the local doctors to fish him out of there, right?" Spongebob increasingly-annoyedly performed a rather distinct "back off" gesture with his hands and exhaustedly sighed, shooting various types of shockingly evil glares at his fellow Goo-Lagoon-occupying sea creatures in order to (surprisingly successfully) get them to FINALLY stop (pointing and) laughing at her.
"YES..." Sandy shrugged her shoulders and VERY exhaustedly sighed back as she and Spongebob rather hastily made their way back to the latter's Boat-Mobile so that the latter could drive the former straight to the aforementioned Bikini Bottom Hospital for some good old-fashioned head parasite removal.
FIFTEEN MINUTES LAY-TERR, IN THE BIKINI BOTTOM HOSPITAL...
"Greetings, young patient; what exactly seems to be the main problem with you today, pardon my asking?" Dr. Gill Gilliam rather curiously asked Sandy as she and Spongebob eagerly walked into his operating room, with the former looking absolutely terrified while the latter looked WAY too calm and oblivious for his own good.
"There's a mind-controlling parasite in my head right now; I repeat, THERE IS A MIND-CONTROLLING PARASITE LIVING IN MY FREAKING BRAIN RIGHT NOW AND I CAN'T GET IT OUT! MAYDAY, I TELL YOU! MAYDAY!" Sandy gently yet firmly grabbed Dr. Gill by the shoulders and nervously but otherwise rather surprisingly-calmly began explaining to him...then suddenly went cross-eyed and began wildly shrieking at the tops of her lungs yet again as Plankton re-took control over her body just to royally freak Dr. Gill out for his (Plankton's) own utterly sadistic amusement.
"N-Now, now, n-no need t-to jump t-to conclusions so q-quickly!" Dr. Gill nervously backed away from Sandy and rather frightenedly stammered, making a rather important mental note about how "abnormally hyperactive and unstable" Sandy had become as he did so while Spongebob just increasingly-excitedly stared at her and thought to himself about how incredibly "just like him" she was now becoming.
"L-Let's give y-you an X-Ray s-scan first, s-shall we?" Dr. Gill tremblingly and sweatingly suggested, reluctantly grabbing Sandy's left hand with his own right hand and then forcefully dragging her over to his X-Ray scanner so that said X-Ray scan could finally commence.
ONE OBLIGATORY STRIPPING-DOWN-TO-HER-BIKINI-AND-A-LITERAL-FISHBOWL-HELMET OF SANDY (TOTALLY NOT FOR FAN-SERVICE-RELATED REASONS, I SWEAR) LAY-TERR...
"Wow...it's so deliciously FUTURISTIC...I swear I can almost TASTE it..." Spongebob rather creepily (not to mention droolingly) moaned with delight as he rather stalker-ish-ly ogled the X-Ray scanner's real-time recording of Sandy's insides, causing both Sandy herself and Dr. Gill to rather understandably give him astonishingly weird looks in response while the former dutifully stood behind said scanner's recording screen in order to make it display said real-time recording of her internal organs, bones and whatnot.
"Hmm...well, I gotta say, your insides all generally seem pretty healthy to me, all things considered..." Dr. Gill rather reluctantly began explaining to Sandy while Spongebob suddenly extended his tongue to a downright ludicrous length and began passionately licking the X-Ray scanner's display of said squirrel lady’s rather un-surprisingly big and beating heart while she just second-hand-embarrassedly went "UHH" in response.
"...except for what appears to be a live and quite possibly asexually reproducing TICK that just so happens to be rather...ahem...ATTACHED to your left eardrum as we speak, that is!" Dr. Gill rather disgustedly pointed out, awkwardly twitching his lower eyelids and turning rather distinctly "green around the gills" (while Sandy did much of the same) as he and Sandy VERY reluctantly began imagining just how revoltingly long of a time said tick (which was represented as a very brightly colored and rather surprisingly-distinctly tick-shaped dot at the end of her left ear canal on the X-Ray scanner’s map of her body, naturally enough) had most likely already spent sucking the blood from said squirrel lady's poor, POOR little (left) eardrum as he spoke.
"Aww; I can already tell right now that it’s going to be such a CUTE little bugger! Once we’ve finally gotten it out of there, CAN I KEEP IT?" Spongebob ever-so-gaily crossed his legs, ever-so-flamboyantly fluttered his eyelashes and ever-so-naively crooned with X-Ray-induced excitement while Sandy and Dr. Gill increasingly-exasperatedly rolled their eyes and yelled "HOW ABOUT NO?!" at him in response.
"ANYWAY (sigh), what about my BRAIN? Are you SURE that there's really no one messing around in there at all and that I've really just been excessively freaking out over having a bug in my ear this whole time?" Sandy clasped her hands together and increasingly-worriedly asked Dr. Gill, nervously glancing back and forth around herself as she did so.
"Fortunately enough, it would appear that the current answer to that question is indeed YES; I've already rather thoroughly looked over this X-Ray scanner's display of your central nervous system several times, and not even a SINGLE un-natural or unusual thing has been detected in your brain at all, so at least THAT'S good news, I suppose." Dr. Gill very relievedly (not to mention relievingly) explained to Sandy while Plankton (who had just recently used his suit's "cloaking" feature to make himself invisible and even more-or-less-flawlessly mask his thermal signature) ever-so-deviously rubbed his increasingly grubby little hands together and ever-so-snidely chuckled out the word "SUCKERS" to himself in response.
"Oh...well, that's all well and good, I suppose, even though I absolutely refuse to believe it, but what about the TICK? How exactly are you planning to get rid of IT, may I ask?" Sandy very impatiently crossed her arms over her chest and rather skeptically asked Dr. Gill, sincerely hoping that he wasn't planning to use an excessively and generally-needlessly painful method such as the world's sharpest pair of-
"TWEEZERS, of course! Why, this is going to be such an incredibly quick and simple operation that you hopefully won't even need any PAIN-KILLERS for it!" Dr. Gill merrily laughed, slapping Sandy on the back with his right hand in classic "father and son" fashion as he did so while Sandy suddenly stopped dead in her tracks, shrunk her pupils to a nearly microscopic size, and rather audibly gulped in response.
"Now, HOLD on a minute; how exactly are we supposed to stick a pair of tweezers into Sandy's ear without removing her helmet?" Spongebob rather nervously backed away from Dr. Gill and surprisingly-logically asked him, confusedly scratching the top-left corner of his head with his left index finger as he did so.
"Simple; we DON'T!" Dr. Gill shrugged his shoulders and merrily chuckled, grabbing his rather conveniently placed medical toolbox off of the floor and then immediately waltzing straight out of his operating room as Sandy reluctantly put her suit back on and followed him and Spongebob to the nearest ambulance so that the three of them could transport themselves over to her TreeDome using said ambulance.
ABOUT TEN MORE MINUTES LAY-TERR, IN SANDY'S TREEDOME...
"All right, Sandy; I sure hope you're ready for this!" Dr. Gill (who was now wearing one of Sandy's spare water helmets) rather surprisingly-sternly warned the once-again-suitless-and-bikini-clad Sandy (who was now VERY tightly and lying-face-up-ly world's-strongest-super-glued to the bare, wooden and splinter-riddled top of her incredibly "larger than it used to be" rectangular picnic table) while Spongebob (who was now wearing another one of Sandy's spare water helmets) rambunctiously ran in great big clockwise circles around and around said picnic table that Sandy was now super-glued to while repeatedly raising both of his fists straight up into the air and just-as-repeatedly yelling "I'M READY" in response.
"Yeah, I suppose (sigh)...anyway, about that tick that you just found in my left ear canal, exactly how deep in there IS it right now, pardon my asking? For the love of God, it isn’t already crawling its way back out of there to lay yet another positively enormous batch of instantly-hatching EGGS in my grass, is it?" Sandy rather reluctantly asked Dr. Gill as said doctor rather awkwardly stuck his otoscope into her left ear and intently began peering straight into its corresponding (ear) canal using said tool.
"Hmm...oh, dear...well, the good news is that this tick is apparently so busy sinking its equivalent of teeth into the 'outer ear' side of your left eardrum that it still hasn't taken advantage of said eardrum's presumably recent perforation by using said hole to gain access to the REAL inner workings of your left ear just yet..." Dr. Gill very long-windedly explained to Sandy, noting the absolutely disgusting amount of blood that was already surrounding said tick's VERY firmly decided position on Sandy's left eardrum while the poor squirrel lady resoundingly dry-heaved from the mere thought of what he was describing (meanwhile, Spongebob was just idiotically laughing at how incredibly weird, embarrassing and gross Sandy's new pre-TICK-ament admittedly was, despite actually feeling legitimately really bad for her deep down).
"Umm...w-what's the BAD news, m-may I ask?" Sandy VERY nervously and awkwardly stammered, audibly (not to mention helplessly) trembling in fear as she did so while Dr. Gill, after rather hastily shoving his otoscope back into his medical toolbox, pulled out his laptop computer from said toolbox and set it down on the tabletop (in other words, right next to Sandy's left ear) so that he could then proceed to use it for a far more advanced form of otoscopy...aural endoscopy (for which the required tube had already been very firmly connected to said laptop in advance), of course!
"Bad news? WHAT bad news?" Spongebob ever-so-ridiculously-obliviously chuckled while Dr. Gill rather rudely shoved his somehow needle-thin endoscopy tube into Sandy's left ear and then rather erotically pushed/extended said endoscopy tube through the external auditory canal of said ear as if it was his tongue.
"OH..." Spongebob covered his mouth with both of his hands and fearfully gasped in surprise as Dr. Gill's laptop displayed Sandy's heavily damaged left eardrum, along with the tick that was indeed rather disturbingly attached to said eardrum.
"WELL...again, this tick right here is most certainly one HELL of a deeply embedded son of a bitch...I don't really think that you're going to need pain-killers DURING this operation, per se, but you should definitely be warned: this is probably going to hurt AT LEAST enough to make you VERY sincerely wish that you had never even been born." Dr. Gill hung his head in rather profound shame and very regretfully informed Sandy, rather creepily (but thankfully-good-intentionedly) scanning over her almost-but-not-quite-naked body with his ever-so-symbolically bespectacled eyes in order to make sure that her hands, heels, back and head were indeed securely attached to the "operating" table as he then proceeded to rather reluctantly reach back into his medical toolbox and pull out his very aptly nick-named "world's sharpest" pair of tweezers from said toolbox.
"UHH..." Sandy suddenly remembered how Dr. Gill and many of his other/previous patients indeed most certainly did like to call his tweezers "the world's sharpest" and (rather understandably) horrifiedly and tremblingly thought out loud to herself in response as said tweezers slowly but surely made their way into her extremely fragile and sensitive left ear so that (one of) Sandy's much-needed surgical operation(s) could FINALLY begin once and for all.
"Oh, don't worry, sweetums; it'll be over soon enough, I PROMISE!" Plankton ever-so-snidely jeered at Sandy's expense as he suddenly grabbed the PAIN SENSITIVITY knob on the main dashboard of the poor girl's brain control cockpit and turned it all the way up to its absolute maximum possible setting just to absolutely torment her as much as he possibly could.
"All right, so this little sucker indeed has its mouth wedged ASTONISHINGLY deeply into your left eardrum...looks like I might actually end up having to pull on it pretty damned hard in order to get it to finally let go..." Dr. Gill increasingly-worriedly explained (causing Sandy to rather loudly, not to mention understandably, gag in response), using his laptop's endoscopic recording display for reference as he gently and carefully pushed his tweezers through Sandy's left ear canal while her extremely unwelcome new ear tick's dwelling spot on her left eardrum wholesomely dripped with fresh, warm blood.
"Alright, come on, Sandy, focus...as long as you don't think about what's happening right now, it hopefully won't hurt TOO badly..." Sandy meditatively closed her eyes yet again and VERY worriedly thought to herself as Dr. Gill meticulously grabbed her newly acquired ear tick with his tweezers...only for it to then wildly freak out in response, causing Dr. Gill to accidentally but UNBELIEVABLY-painfully shove said lethally pointy-tipped tweezers tip-first into Sandy's already-heavily-damaged left eardrum!
"AIEEEEEE!" Sandy embarrassingly-high-pitchedly wailed in agony as Dr. Gill's tweezers made not one but TWO additional (but thankfully rather tiny) holes in her left eardrum, causing her rather understandably twitching eyes to intensely water as even MORE deliciously fresh blood began to rather profusely leak from said eardrum perforations.
"HEY! What in the heck are you doing to my second-best friend in the whole wide WORLD?!" Spongebob threw his arms straight up into the air and VERY angrily yelled at Dr. Gill before then proceeding to rather forcefully slap said doctor “back and forth” across the face several times with his left hand and therefore cause him to accidentally swing his indeed ridiculously sharp tweezers straight into the internal walls of Sandy's left ear canal, causing her to loudly scream in pain several more times as blood began leaking from THOSE as well.
"For Neptune's sake, I'm trying to HELP her, you freaking NIT-WIT!" Dr. Gill furiously yelled back at Spongebob, forcefully kicking said sea sponge across the dome with his right foot while Plankton ever-so-utterly-despicably readied himself to begin downright-FURIOUSLY masturbating to the downright-unbearably intense pain that Sandy was now being forced to go through due to her ear tick.
"OHHH...AHHH, YEAAAH...come on and fucking SCREAM for me, bitch..." the now-suddenly-visible-again Plankton increasingly-lecherously drooled and moaned in the now-quite-literal cockpit of Sandy’s brain, breathing VERY heavily and causing his helmet’s antennae to stand VERY straight up yet again in the process as he rather suddenly opened up the “pants” compartment of his suit with both of his hands and then immediately began VERY rapidly and passionately stroking his micro-dick with his right hand as he ever-so-revoltingly-selfishly watched said squirrel lady’s absolute torment unfold for his own utterly sadistic amusement; meanwhile, Dr. Gill loudly swallowed his pride and increasingly-desperately began tugging on the poor (squirrel) girl's ear tick with his tweezers, causing basically the entire section of her already-intensely-bleeding-and-aching left eardrum to which said tick was attached to suddenly begin downright-grotesquely stretching toward him as if it was about to break right off of said eardrum in response.
"OH, GOD, IT HURTS...it hurts so very, VERY much..." Sandy increasingly-meekly whimpered and cried as Dr. Gill began pulling even harder on her ear tick and therefore horrifically damaging her poor, POOR left eardrum even more.
"I sincerely apologize for having to do this, but I'm afraid that there's simply no other truly efficient way for me to be able to finally rid you of this utterly dreadful parasite of yours once and for ALL!" Dr. Gill VERY melodramatically explained to Sandy as he then proceeded to VERY firmly grasp his tweezers with both of his hands and begin downright-relentlessly tugging and tugging and TUGGING on the poor, POOR girl's ear tick with quite literally ALL of his aquatic might (while also very frantically wiggling said tweezers back and forth in a miserably failed attempt to properly loosen said tick's downright-ABSURDLY tight grip on her left eardrum, naturally enough) until finally...finally...FINALLY...
"HYAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Sandy could be heard blood-curdlingly shrieking in agony (and rather heavily cracking her TreeDome in the process, although it luckily repaired itself shortly afterward due to it being made out of Sandy's aforementioned Regenerating Glass) from incredibly far away as Dr. Gill FINALLY finished yanking out her ear tick, causing a MASSIVE chunk of both sides of the outer flesh (not to mention the inner mucosa and whatnot) of her left eardrum to become (VERY) violently torn right off of said eardrum and thus rendering her (pretty much) completely deaf in her left ear (which Dr. Gill then immediately proceeded to remove his endoscopy tube from with his right hand while very tightly and carefully holding his now-tick-imprisoning tweezers with his left hand) as a very genuinely revolting amount of blood began oozing out from the horribly jagged and gaping hole that said tick removal had just made in her left eardrum.
"Well, what can I say? All's well that ends well, I suppose!" Spongebob immediately came running straight back over to the “operating” table in response to Sandy’s absolutely horrifying scream and then ever-so-merrily (not to mention rather insensitively) giggled with tick-removal-induced satisfaction, rather smugly shrugging his shoulders as he did so while numerous shockingly effeminate tears trickled their way down said squirrel lady's utterly miserable-looking face from the sheer amount of positively excruciating pain that she was now feeling in her left ear.
"Well said, my friend; well said- OH MY GOD, KILL IT, KILL IT!" Dr. Gill proudly chuckled (slapping Spongebob on the back with his right hand as he did so, of course), then suddenly dropped his tweezers, clutched his helmet with both of his hands and began loudly screaming in immensely panicked horror as he realized that his distraction by Spongebob's blissfully ignorant happy-go-lucky antics had somehow caused him to accidentally loosen his grip on the blood-stained, tick-imprisoning pair of tweezers that he had been holding in his left hand, allowing the thoroughly inflated (not to mention asexually reproducing) tick that said tweezers had been imprisoning to escape into Sandy's grass and then immediately begin laying its (roughly two THOUSAND) instantly-hatching eggs in said grass.
"DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE!" Spongebob suddenly threw a huge tantrum and began repeatedly yelling as he VERY bloodily and gorily squashed Sandy's former ear tick into a mere puddle of its former self by repeatedly and VERY frantically stomping on it with his left foot; thankfully, he was still wearing his shoes as he did so, but needless to say, it clearly wasn't him or Gill that said formerly alive ear tick's (roughly fifteen HUNDRED) remaining new babies (that Spongebob's aforementioned squashing of it had inadvertently caused to EXTREMELY-disgustingly squirt out of it) were after.
"SANDY, LOOK OUT!" Dr. Gill rather melodramatically thrusted his left palm directly toward Sandy and very loudly and urgently warned her, halting Spongebob with his right palm in order to (somewhat hypocritically) prevent him from doing or attempting anything stupid and/or reckless as said squirrel lady ever-so-pitifully-helplessly shook, whimpered and squirmed atop her own picnic table, still pretty much completely unable to move due to her super-glue-induced stuck-ness to the top of said table as literal hundreds of freshly born tick larvae immediately began climbing their way straight up the legs of said table so that they could then immediately proceed to climb onto her cute, sexy and practically-naked body and use it to give themselves the collective blood feast of a lifetime.
"OH...RIGHT..." Dr. Gill and Spongebob both resoundingly face-palmed themselves with their left hands and increasingly-self-loathingly groaned as they suddenly remembered the fact that THEY were the ones who had agreed to super-glue Sandy to the top of her picnic table for a "tick removal" operation in the first place (technically, Spongebob was the one who had suggested the idea, but that still doesn't automatically mean that Dr. Gill HAD to accept said suggestion).
"Tee hee hee...oh, dear LOR-HOR-HOR-HORD, that TICK-les so MUH-HUH-HUH-HUCH! STAH-HAH-HAH-HAHP IT, PLEE-HEE-HEE-HEEASE! I'M BEH-HEH-HEH-HEGGING YOO-HOO-HOO-HOOOU!" Sandy suddenly began convulsing every bit as wildly as her super-glue restraints allowed her to while also laughing like an absolute maniac, actually CRYING (not to mention dying) from how downright-ridiculously hard she was laughing as the tick larvae began climbing/crawling around on/in the bare soles of her feet, the (presumably acorn-stuffed) "belly" portion of her torso, the pits of her arms, the breasts underneath her bra, the vagina underneath her underwear, the outer funnels of her ears, and more-or-less every possible place in-between said places, clearly putting FAR too much effort into deciding which parts of her body to suck (blood) from.
“AHHHHHHHHH…” Plankton loudly moaned with (quite distinctly) orgasmic delight as he sweatily, pantingly and blushingly jizzed in his (suit’s) pants, causing his helmet’s antennae to rather hilariously become limp and droopy as a result while his penis did the same.
"WAIT, Spongebob!" Dr. Gill rather sternly commanded Spongebob, dramatically T-posing right in front of him in order to block his way as he (Spongebob) ever-so-eagerly readied himself to gracefully leap onto Sandy's picnic tabletop and then violently squish all of the tick larvae that were now crawling all over her body with his bare hands and his shoe-clad feet.
"And WHY exactly should I, pardon my asking?" Spongebob placed his hands onto his hips and rather sassily asked Dr. Gill, ever-so-laughably-effeminately swaying said hips back and forth for emphasis as he did so.
"If you squash those ticks while their mouths are attached to Sandy, she'll end up getting infected with their COOTIES, you silly goose!" Dr. Gill very flamboyantly gestured toward Sandy with his hands and explained, using deliberate(ly blatant) sarcasm and "gay culture" mockery that Spongebob was thankfully far too naive to actually be able to detect as he did so. Meanwhile, needless to say, Sandy was indeed absolutely DYING (not to mention crying) with laughter (not to mention left ear pain).
"SOMEBO-HO-HO-HODY, PLEE-HEEESE! HELP ME NOW-HOW-HOW-HOW! I REE-HEE-HEEALLY DON'T WANNA DI-HI-HI-HIE!" Sandy waterfall-cryingly and COMPLETELY-helplessly shrieked and howled with laughter while Plankton suddenly (not to mention FINALLY) began to actually realize how much he most likely needed to follow her advice at the point that is being depicted in this paragraph if he wanted her to indeed "not die".
"Hmm, let's see here...OOH, I sure do wonder what THIS button does?!" Plankton crossed his arms over his chest and rather impatiently scanned over the main dashboard of Sandy's brain control cockpit with his eye until finally, at long last, he rather (incredibly) conveniently found her ELECTROCUTION button...and PRESSED it!
"YOWWWWWW-ZERS!" Sandy very awkwardly squealed in pain, with her eyeballs briefly but very-over-the-top-ly shooting themselves right out of her eye sockets as her entire body repeatedly flashed between "skin mode" and "skeleton mode" and was rather (extra) thickly outlined with extremely stylized "cartoon-style" electricity while every single hair of her fur stood straight up...and also, FAR more importantly, while every single one of the tick larvae that had previously been crawling around on her body (in other words, every single remaining tick in the TreeDome, PERIOD) was fried/zapped into quite literally nothing (unless you count ashes as something, I suppose).
"Dear LORD, Sandy; are you okay?" Spongebob immediately ran over to Sandy and very worriedly asked her while she just blankly and increasingly-depressedly stared off into space (with her fur humiliatingly ruffled all over the place, no less) and speechlessly blinked her eyes twice in a row in response, with both of said blinks indeed having their very own ludicrously cartoony sound effect.
"Does THAT look okay to you?" Dr. Gill exasperatedly gestured toward Sandy with his hands and asked Spongebob.
“Are you freaking KIDDING me, man? She has GOT to be one of the absolute hottest-looking things that I’ve ever seen in my entire freaking LIFE!” Spongebob shrugged his shoulders and ever-so-smugly quipped in response to said question while Dr. Gill merrily nodded his head in rather genuinely wholehearted agreement.
"Well, at least my TICK infestation is finally gone now...I HOPE..." Sandy rather depressedly (but still very relievedly) sighed, struggling to keep her increasingly bloodshot eyes open as Dr. Gill FINALLY grabbed his laptop off of her picnic table and returned it to his medical toolbox.
"All right, can we PLEASE free her from the table now?" Spongebob placed his hands together in a "prayer" gesture and puppy-dog-eyedly begged Dr. Gill while Sandy audibly shook in her restraints and repeatedly (not to mention increasingly-anxiously) thought “PLEASE say yes” to herself in response.
"Only if you're willing to pay the PRICE for my wonderfully skilled and careful TREATMENT of her, plus a rather hefty 'getting me to keep her downright inexplicable ability to somehow electrocute herself with her mind a secret' tax, of course!" Dr. Gill ever-so-smugly joked, pulling out the roughly-one-thousand-dollar bill for his “professional” medical services from his medical toolbox and then ever-so-arrogantly displaying it to Spongebob with a downright-insufferably shit-eating grin on his face as he did so.
"UGH...FINE!" Spongebob VERY exasperatedly shrugged and groaned, rolling his eyes intensely as he ever-so-suddenly pulled out an ACTUAL one-thousand-dollar bill from his wallet and then VERY regretfully handed it directly to the COMPLETELY flabbergasted Dr. Gill...needless to say, however, said doctor still wasn't quite done (shamelessly) ripping his customers off just yet, and although said doctor also somehow STILL hadn’t realized it after fruitlessly struggling with all of his aforementioned “aquatic might” to quite literally rip Sandy off of her picnic tabletop, Plankton had indeed somehow used his newfound control over her central nervous system to make her fur "NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE" to remove from her skin, while still keeping her pain sensitivity level at its absolute maximum possible setting all the while.
"Oh, MAN; I just absolutely cannot WAIT to see what sort of ridiculously medical-license-undeserving thing this freaking pretentious idiot does to Sandy next..." Plankton rubbed his hands together every bit as deviously as ever and VERY maliciously snickered to himself in Sandy’s brain control cockpit while Dr. Gill suddenly had yet another horrible, wonderful, utterly AWFUL idea!
"Umm...w-what exactly are you d-doing right n-now, p-pardon my asking?" Spongebob rather nervously asked Dr. Gill as said doctor suddenly pulled out his cell phone from one of his pants pockets and then used it to call the bar-tender of his local Salty Spitoon "restaurant" so that said bar-tender could hopefully provide him with some extra muscle with which he would be able to FINALLY finish his INCREDIBLY dirty work once and for all.
"Thank you for calling the Salty Spitoon; now tell me, how tough are you?" the Salty Spitoon's bar-tender rather surprisingly-casually greeted and asked Dr. Gill using his OWN cell phone while his ridiculously muscular and brutish customers engaged in what must have been at least their third bar brawl in the past hour (or so) of their lives.
"Well, I'm awfully sorry to have to tell you this, good sir, but I'm afraid that the real question here is how tough are YOU?" Dr. Gill rather smugly explained.
"YOU as in me, or YOU as in the collective population of this filthy shit hole?" the bar-tender confusedly asked Dr. Gill.
"The latter." Dr. Gill shrugged his shoulders and comically-flatly replied.
"Heh heh...to be quite frank with you, WE could probably lift this entire freaking PLACE right off of the ground if we wanted to!" the bar-tender rather arrogantly chuckled, most likely UNDER-estimating the sheer physical strength of some of his customers as he did so.
"Yeah, SO?" Dr. Gill mockingly chuckled back at the bar-tender.
"WITHOUT ANY TOOLS." the bar-tender narrowed his eyes and VERY ominously boasted, causing Dr. Gill to rather fearfully shiver in response while Spongebob EXTREMELY-fearfully shivered in agreement.
"Uhh, s-sorry to bother you, sir; send your customers directly to Sandy's TreeDome as soon as possible!" Dr. Gill rapidly glanced back and forth around himself and nervously, tremblingly and sweatily stammered, rather hastily hanging up on the bar-tender IMMEDIATELY after doing so while said bar-tender uproariously laughed at him for being such a “pussy” in response.
ROUGHLY FIFTEEN MORE MINUTES LAY-TERR, AFTER THE SALTY SPITOON'S EXACTLY EIGHT CUSTOMERS HAD ALL BEEN ROUNDED UP IN SANDY'S TREEDOME AND OUTFITTED WITH (SOMEHOW) YET ANOTHER ONE EACH OF HER SPARE WATER HELMETS...
"All right, so since Spongebob here has already paid me a THOUSAND freaking dollars just for INCREDIBLY-sloppily extracting a tick from Sandy's left ear," Dr. Gill rather condescendingly began explaining to his new recruits while Spongebob exasperatedly rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders in response, "I'll give you guys a HUNDRED dollars if you can prove to me that you actually ARE, in fact, strong enough to be able to pull the world's strongest fur and the world's strongest super-glue apart from each other!"
"But...I mean, isn't that going to, like, SEVERELY hurt the poor girl?" the "Popeye Fish" amongst Dr. Gill's new recruits rather surprisingly-considerately pointed out while all of his fellow recruits downright-DISGUSTEDLY looked at what Sandy had been reduced into by Dr. Gill's so-called "professional" treatment of her and then VERY agreeingly crossed their intimidatingly bulky arms over their freakishly muscular chests and nodded their heads in response.
"Hey, guys; as long as it works and gets you paid, why should YOU care?" Dr. Gill shrugged his shoulders and ever-so-smugly asked his increasingly pissed-off new recruits.
"Oh, I dunno; maybe because giving us a hundred dollars to split between the eight of us means that we're basically only getting paid twelve dollars and fifty cents each, you freaking smart-ass prick?!" the (relatively) smart one amongst Dr. Gill's new recruits VERY annoyedly threw his arms out beside himself and yelled at Dr. Gill while both he and the rest of Dr. Gill's new recruits (not to mention Spongebob) then proceeded to firmly place their hands onto their hips and VERY disappointedly glare at him.
"What about the fact that you guys might not get to fuck her later if you don't free her from this table, huh? Don't you think that such an experience MIGHT be just a LITTLE bit more valuable to people like YOU guys than plain old money?" Dr. Gill ever-so-shit-eatingly-grinningly shrugged his shoulders and rather manipulatively pointed out to his new recruits while Plankton turned Sandy’s SUBMISSIVE/DOMINANT knob all the (rest of the) way down to its maximum “submissive-ness” setting.
"Now that you mention it, HOO, boy; you can bet your shrimpy little ASS that she would make for a better prize than money! COME TO PAPA!" Dr. Gill's new recruits suddenly began yelling with immense delight, grinning from ear to ear and panting and drooling like rabid and starving dogs as they immediately positioned themselves in a nice big circle around Sandy's picnic table, grabbed her almost-naked body as if it was a giant lifting weight, and then finally began forcefully pulling on said body...and pulling...and pulling...and pulling...until finally...finally...FINALLY...
"HYAAAAAAAAAAAAIGH!" Sandy could once again be heard blood-curdlingly (not to mention TreeDome-crackingly) screeching from ridiculously far away as Dr. Gill's new recruits, after fiercely tugging on her with literally all of their collective might for at least twenty (if not thirty) seconds straight, FINALLY managed to detach her from her former super-glue restraints, brutally tearing basically the ENTIRE back portions of her fur and clothing right off as a result while said recruits gently sobbed "aww, you poor thing" in response.
"Umm...p-please don't hurt me! Why, I'll do absolutely ANYTHING for you guys! ANYTHING, I SWEAR!" Sandy helplessly, ruffled-furredly, wobbling-kneed-ly and bloodshot-puppy-dog-eyedly cried, whimpered and begged, immediately getting down onto her feet and palms and then backwardly, quite-nearly-nakedly crab-walking her way up against the inexplicably self-repairing wall of her TreeDome as she did so while Dr. Gill's new recruits VERY ominously approached her as if they wanted to rape her...after once again seeing the absolutely pathetic state that "Bikini Bottom's toughest chick" was now in, however, they rather shockingly had a very dramatic change of heart and therefore began even-MORE-ominously approaching Dr. Gill instead, forming INCREDIBLY fierce-looking fists with their hands as they did so.
"Um, g-GUYS? You DO know that you're not going to get your money reward if you don't fuck her right here and right now, RIGHT?" Dr. Gill performed a rather distinct "jazz hands" gesture and VERY intimidatedly stammered, slowly and audibly-tremblingly backing away from his suddenly EXTREMELY pissed-off new recruits as he did so.
"HEY! Making out with Sandy is MY job, you freaking JERK-wad!" Spongebob placed his hands onto his hips and rather angrily scolded Dr. Gill while said doctor ran behind him in a downright-laughably cowardly fashion, grabbed his (Spongebob's) sides with his hands, and then COMPLETELY-shamelessly began using him as a quite literal "human" shield while his (Dr. Gill's) new recruits quite literally spat in disgust from the mere sight of said utterly repulsive cowardice.
"Um...n-no hard feelings, RIGHT?!" Dr. Gill pathetically stammered, wetting his pants as he did so while his knees quivered like bowls full of Jell-O; needless to say, he was somehow managing to make even SPONGEBOB look like a tough and manly bad-ass.
"You know what? Let's see how YOU like being treated in the type of way in which you've been treating Sandy, SHALL we?!" the "Popeye Fish" amongst Dr. Gill's new recruits revoltedly sneered at him while all (seven) of said Popeye Fish’s fellow recruits made rather distinct "pounding fist into palm" gestures and VERY sternly nodded their heads in agreement.
ONE TRULY UNSPEAKABLE BUT EXTREMELY WELL-DESERVED BEATING OF DR. GILL BY HIS OWN RECRUITS (NOT TO MENTION TWO HOURS AND ONE SEEMINGLY INEXPLICABLE POST-CRIME-EVIDENCE-PROVIDING INSTANTANEOUS RE-GROWTH OF SANDY’S FORMERLY MISSING FUR DUE TO PLANKTON’S CONTROL OVER HER CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM) LAY-TERR, BACK AT THE BIKINI BOTTOM HOSPITAL...
"OOGH..." Dr. Gill depressedly moaned in agony, ironically being completely unable to move due to the sheer amount of bandages and whatnot that he had been encased in by his fellow doctors as he lifelessly laid (or lay, whichever you prefer) on his shiny new hospital bed in the emergency room of his own hospital, sincerely wishing that he had never been born as he did so...when surely enough, all of a sudden, Spongebob and Sandy came walking into said room in order to "greet" him.
"Hello, ASSHOLE! How ARE things, HMM?" the thankfully re-suited and re-masculinized Sandy VERY lividly sneered at Dr. Gill, forcefully punching him in his rather heavily bandaged chest with her right fist and causing him to bloodshot-eyedly and very high-pitchedly scream and cry in response (not to mention immense and rather visibly blood-spilling pain) as she did so while the also-thankfully un-helmeted Spongebob placed his hands onto his hips and easily-just-AS-lividly glared at said doctor in agreement.
"NOT...GOOD..." Dr. Gill helplessly whimpered and moaned while Sandy crossed her arms over her chest and rather understandably-hatefully muttered "oh, quit being such a god-damned BABY" about him underneath her breath; surely enough, Dr. Gill was indeed (rather pathetically) crying and sniffling like an actual baby while Sandy made said comment about him.
"Well, if you think that you've got it bad right NOW, then just WAIT until you see how much money me and Sandy have just SUED you for, mister Professional Doctor!" Spongebob COMPLETELY-disgustedly informed Dr. Gill, reaching into the back pockets of his (square) pants and pulling out a nice big ten-thousand-dollar "law-breaking penalty" bill that he then proceeded to VERY immodestly (not to mention literally) rub in said doctor's face with only THE most genuinely shit-eating of grins plastered across his OWN face.
"Not to mention THIS!" Sandy absolutely-REVOLTEDLY sneered at Dr. Gill, briefly un-zipping her suit's main zipper with her right hand and then reaching into her cleavage with her left hand so that she could then proceed to pull out a nice, big and bright-pink "YOU'RE FIRED" document and also-quite-literally rub IT in said doctor's face, causing him to devastatedly moan "I HATE MY LIFE" in response.
MEANWHILE, IN SANDY’S BRAIN CONTROL COCKPIT…
"AIN'T I A STINKER?" Plankton shrugged his shoulders and ever-so-smugly chuckled to his show's viewers as the screen faded to black in classic Looney Tunes style.
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Plankton's Journey To The Brain Of Sandy Cheeks