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Dan Vs.Elise	By : UltimateHero102 Category: +1 through F > Dan Vs Views: 4024 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Dan vs. nor do i make money off this fic. All credit goes to it's creators.

Chapter List
- 1-Dan Vs.Elise
- 1
(A/N): This is a one-shot between Dan and Elise. May turn into a chapter story in the future.
Dan vs.Elise
It was supposed to be all planned out. Elise and her husband Chris were to go on a peaceful ski-trip to get away from the constant revenge schemes of Dan. However, the person in question had tagged along thinking that they were going ski shooting. One event led to another, and now she was stuck with the hateful little man that’s caused her so much strain with her husband. Snowed in in the cabin with a hole letting in the cold. The two had sat in separate corners of the cabin holding themselves trying to retain what little warmth they had left. Elise was hoping for a slow and quite death. But fate would not allow her that satisfaction as Dan, as usual, was the one to break the tense silence.
“You’ve really done it this time, missy.” Dan said shivering in the corner. Elise only glared at Dan and had dug her head in her knees. That cockroach would have been halfway to the ranger station by now, if your stupid rocket hadn’t crushed him! Elise had looked away as she had refused to say anything else to him. If you don’t apologize, I’ll be forced to give you something I call ‘The Silent Treatment.’ Little did he know, he was already receiving said treatment from Elise. He had opened one of his eyes to see if it was having any sort of effect. But he only saw Elise look away again. Hellooooo? Dan asked waving his arms trying to get her attention. Seeing as it wasn’t working, he had went to the other side of the room to scoop up some of the snow that had spilled into the cabin and came back to toss it at her head. For a minute, dan had a look of accomplishment on his face. But that look quickly vanished as Elise shot up and began approaching Dan looking like she was ready to rip him in twain.
“Uh, Easy now. Dan said worryingly as he had took two steps back. Whatever painful thing you’re about to do, consider that you’ll probably end up regretting it when we get home.”
“HOME?! Elise shouted in anger. In a few hours we’re going to freeze to death! I’m never going to see Chris again! Or see another foreign country through the scope of a high-powered rifle, and it’s all thanks to you mister walking disaster!” She said pointing at Dan startling him and causing him to fall back onto the toppled table.
“I am not a disaster! Dan retorted. I’m the one who does something about disasters! He said as he had rolled over. Elise’s left eye had begun twitching before she spoke again.
“You know all those things you hate dan? She asked. All those horrible things that happen to you randomly? Well do you know what the common element in all of those things it?!
“Mayonnaise? He asked as he rolled back upright on the table.
“YOU!” She shouted as she had kicked Dan in the face with her boot.
“Well I’m sorry I’m not misses perfect! Dan began saying in a fake tone. Misses I don’t have a job! Misses I’m too good to watch t.v. for twelve straight hours!
“I HATE YOU!” She shouted.
“I hate you more.” Dan retorted.
“Well you hate everything so big deal!” She said as she took her boot off of his face causing him to fall to the wooden floor.
“So BIGGER deal!” Dan shouted.
Meanwhile, chris was looking for the hiding members of the pleasant family. He was creeping up slowly making sure as to not alert the people who may be hiding inside.
“Gotcha! Said chris as he had swung the closet doors opened. But he had found no trace of them. Man, you guys sure are good at hide and seek. He said as he was about to continue looking when the door bell had rung. How can someone ring the doorbell if-? He thought until realization suddenly hit him and he rushed for the front door. As he swung the door open, a mountain ranger had stood on the other side.
“Hey there, uh, just wanted to let you know I dug you out there. The ranger said motioning to the large path dug in the giant amount of snow that had kept him inside. You can leave anytime you want.”
“Aw…” Chris said before closing the door back.
“So uh, you’re welcome.” The ranger said as he walked away from the cabin.
“Alright..Chris said as he had turned around. OLLY OLLY OXEN FREE!” He shouted ending the game of hide and seek he was playing. The father came out from under the grate, the son from under the carpet, the wife from under the couch cushion and the little daughter who was hiding in the chimney.
Hey guys, that was the ranger. He began as the people began to approach him slowly. Which is good because I should probably go find my wife and friend. It only now occurs to me that they could be in trouble.” Chris said as he opened the door and proceeded to leave.
“Stop right there, mister.” Said the wife.
“You’re not going anywhere…..” The father said ominously. …without your new family!” He said as he and his family broke into laughter.
“Aww, you guys.” Chuckled Chris.
The screen moves back to Dan and Elise who have seemingly calmed down.
“You know, it’s not like I enjoy being this angry. Dan said as he begun tossing cards at Elise. You think I want to give up my weekend to destroy my mailman’s shabot dinner? Or that I LIKED punching that clown in the face? I just can’t help but notice the flaws in every little thing. I guess it’s just my overabundant intelligence. After being covered in cards, Elise had finally caught a diamond card with two fingers and had crushed it in her hands.
“Dan, since we’re about to die in the freezing cold, mind if I share something with you?” Elise asked.
“Uh…sure, I guess.” Dan replied.
“Have you ever been in one of those situations where something got between you and the person you loved?” She asked.
‘Where’s this coming from?” Dan asked.
“Just answer the question, Dan.” Elise said quickly.
“It’s not like I need to tell you. Dan said as he looked away. Hortense, Burgerphile. Dan began. I fell for her after she joined my cause to get my refund. But she had to leave due to her promotion. After that she had ran off with that fatso of a resturauntor. Why?”
“Because I’ve been having the similar situation. Said Elise. I want to be with the person I want to be with, but every time, there was this annoying little factor that kept getting in the way. She said as she begun to get up and walk towards him making him slightly uncomfortable. Do you know what I’m referring to Dan?” She asked as she picked up some discarded rope.
“Look, It’s not my fault you and chris have such a strained marrage! Dan shouted thinking he had knew what Elise was getting at. When you married the big lug, you accepted everything he had. Friends and all!
“Oh, but you misunderstand me Dan. She said as she had snapped the rope once. This isn’t about Chris.” Dan could see a smile grow on her face. He didn’t know why, but he could tell that wasn’t a good sign.
“Then…who is it about?” Dan asked curiously as he stood up getting ready to defend himself. But he was knocked down as quickly as he got up before he even saw it coming. When he tried to get up, Elise had sat on his back and pinned him down tying his hands together with the rope. Ah…get off me vile woman!” Dan shouted as he begun flailing about in an attempt to get the woman off his back. But to no avail. As soon as his hands were secure, she had tied his legs together as well.
“That’s right, talk nasty to me. I love it! She said which had caught dan in a temporary stae of confusion.
“Elsie, I demand you tell me what’s going on!” Dan shouted irately.”
You see Danny, she begun as a hint of glee could be found in her voice. The ‘little annoyance I’m referring to…is chris!” She said only confusing him more.
“Okay, you’ve lost me.” Dan said looking up at the grinning secret operative
“Dan, have you ever wondered why I ever agreed to go along with any of your revenge plans? She asked him. Any other sensible woman in my place would report you to the authorities. But not me, I would never do that.” She said as she begun to run her fingers through his greasy hair. I went along with all your plans to get closer to you. In fact, even when you think I’m spending time with chris, I’m actually keeping an eye on you.”
“Okay Elise, I’ll admit you’re starting to scare me a little here.” Dan said as he continued to try and break free of the restraints.
“With every little revenge scheme you had, I found we shared a common gaol. Elise continued. And every time, I had the chance to convey how I felt about you. But then the chris factor always found a way to break up my plans.
“Wait, I don’t what’s going on! If I’m reading this correctly, your saying that you love me?” Dan asked.
“More than you know.” She said as she turned him over only to begin straddling him in between her legs.
‘Elise, what are you doing? Dan asked as she saw Elise reaching for his pants zipper.
“If we don’t keep warm, we’ll freeze to death. Elise told him. And I think I know the perfect way to keep warm. She said seductively as she begun to move articles of her clothing. First the head band, then the snow jacket and black jeans and shoes. Dan could only watch helplessly as the wife of his Minon was striping down right in front of him. The only clothing that remained on her now was the red lacey bra that was containing her surprisingly large D-cup breasts and her matching underwear that hugged her hips ever so nicely in sensual manner. If we do make it out of her alive Dan, I’ll make sure that I will fuck you whenever I get the chance. I’m already married to chis. Despite the circumstances, I don’t have to heart to end it with him.
“I can’t believe what I’m hearing right now! Dan said in shock. I knew chris should have never tied the knot with you! Dan said shooting a glare at the woman.
“Oooh yes, I always loved that look on your face.” Elise said in euphoria as she had hugged herselftightly.
“And what makes you think I won’t tell chris about this whole thing anyway?” Dan asked.
“If you do, then I’ll kidnap you in the middle of the night, take you to an undisclosed location, cut you off from any contact with the outside world, and fuck you nonstop without any rest. She said as she had climbed on top of him already grinding her awaiting pussy against Dan’s crotch.”
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think you may be crazier than…well, me.” Dan replied.
“You’re getting cold danny. Elise said with a sly smile. Let see what we can do to fix that. She said as she had swiftly undid his zipper and pulled off his trousers leaving only the tighty whites left between her and her prize. Her smile grew a bit wider as she saw the grinding had a positive effect to stimulate him. Before he could protest, elise had pulled the underwear down revealing his erect member standing at a proud nine inches.
“Well danny, why didn’t you tell me your little friend was so…big.” She said licking her lips.
“The name is not danny! It’s Daaa..aaaa..aaann!” Dan strained to speak as it didn’t take long for Elise to start deep-throating him. By the feel of it, it seemed like the woman was starving for his cock. Each pocket of air she got before plunging her mouth back on his dick, she let out loud moans. This whole scenario was freaking Dan out. Although part of him admits that the blowwjob she’s giving him feels nothing short of amazing, a part of him is also screaming that the chick is straight up mental! He thought that the minute he had the chance, he’d report her to the authorities. But then again, it probably be all that easy. Knowing Elise, she might have some mysterious way to escape the law. And then she would come after him..He continued to try and divert his thoughts to something else, but elise was intent on making Dan feel every single moment of her ministrations as she had swirled her tongue around the dick with each bob. She had cupped his balls a few times as she had momentarily kept her mouth at the head before crashing back down on his pelvic region. Dan was losing ground. He could feel himself about to reach his limit. If he was able to do anything, he thought he might as well letting Elise get the satisfaction she was aiming for and tried to hold back his ejaculation. Elise had noticed this and had ceased the blowjob much to his approval and disappointment.
“Trying to hold back are you?” Elise questioned him. I don’t think so.” She said as she had wrapped her boobs around Dan’s member and began rubbing them up and down as she had continued to suck on the head.
“AAAgh! Damn it!” Dan muttered through his teeth as he was losing control faster than before. Knowing that he was already close, Elise had swirled her tounge around the head as she had rubbed her breasts up and down faster and faster.
“Ah…come on, dan. You can’t hold it back. Elise said between licks. Just cum already! She said before sucking his dick once more forcing him to his breaking point.
“GAAAAH!” Dan shouted as he had arched his back upwards shooting a hot load of cum into Elise’s mouth with some of it spilling out of her mouth trailing down her chin and onto her boobs. Even though he already reached his climax, Elise had savored the flavor of his cum before finally freeing his dick from her mouth with an audible ‘pop. Dan laid back on the ground breathing heavily and exhausted .
“Mmm, you taste even better than I thought you would.” Elise said licking up the leftovers from her lips. You have a bitter taste, just what I expected.
“You’ll….you’ll pay for this….” Said Dan in between breaths.
“Maybe, but right now, it’s time we go for a ride.” She said which made dan open his eyes wide in realization. He tried to move away, but he just didn’t have the strength. Elise had removed her red undergarments slowly before she once again began straddling Dan’s cock guiding it towards her awaiting pussy. As she bit her lower lip in pain and pleasure, Elise had slowly lowered herself impaling herself with dan’s cock. She slowly rotated her hips making sure his penis had touched every part of her inner walls before she began to pick up the pace. Dan tried to resist, but this only either forced him to move in motion with elise, or increase her drive. Either way, when she got into it, Elise had begun riding dan like a mad bull slamming her round hips into his pelvis letting strained moans of pleasure. As she continued, she had rubbed her own breasts moaning even louder. The sight had caused Dan, wether he liked it or not, to grow an inch while his cock was still inside her pussy.
“Yes..this is how I’m going to ride you from now on! She proclaimed as she had continued to her forceful riding showing now mercy. Just a little…more….almost…there…She said as she felt her climax approaching like a freight train.
“Aaah….No….No…Dan strained.. As they both had reached their climax, Dan had shouted…
EEEEELLLLLIIIIISSSSEEE! He screamed as he had released his cum into her womanhood. After the climax subsided, elise had fell ontop of Dan allowing her boobs to rub up against him. Dan felt like he was about to fall asleep after feeling like he had the essence drained from him. Elise only smiled as she had kissed him on the neck before he blacked out.
Several hours later, the ranger had arrived and dug the two out. They had enough time to re-dress before the ranger came in. As they were walking away from the cabin, chirs had shown up in a black jeep.
“Dan, Elise! You’re safe! Said an overjoyed chris.
“No thanks to you.” Said an annoyed Dan.
“Okay, this has been officially been the best ski trip, ever!” Said chris.
“Yes, yes it has.” Elise agreed as she smiled at Dan. Chris thought it as a bit weird, but dismissed the thought as Mr.Pleasent walked up to them.
“See chris, we told you. Everything would wrap up neatly in the end.” Said Mr.pleasent. But suddenly, a net was thrown over the Pleasants preventing them from going anywhere else. The park ranger had then appeared from behind the trees.
“Hey! What are you doing to my new family?” Asked Chris.
“You might want to back up there. Said the mountain ranger. Your family, I not so much a family, as they are four escaped mental patients.
“What?! Asked a confused chris.
“I’ve been tracking them up and down the mountain for months. The ranger replied. If you’re anything like the others, they were just about to eat you.”
“This must be some kind of mistake. Said a non-believing Chris. These guys, they love me!” Suddenly, the son had snapped his brace-covered teeth at chris making him jump back in surprise. Ah! Almost lost a finger!”
“Good one, mikey!” Said Mr. pleasant as he and the other members of the so called family had begun snapping their jaws at chris.
“Can we just leave already?” Asked dan. I think we’ve all learned that ski trips pose a surprisingly wide variety of threats.”
“Yeah, I’m done with skiing.” Said Elise.
“Yeah, next time we plan a weekend getaway, we’re definitely planning something else.” Said chris as he put an arm around Elise.
As they continued to walk away, dan suddnely jumped after something, or someone had grabbed his butt. When he looked back, he saw Elise winking at him before she turned her head again. Dan had then took out a notepad and a pencil and wrote Elise’s name right under jury duty.
- 1
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Dan Vs.Elise