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Stuntapalooza	By : Jayrich Category: +G through L > Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil Views: 5470 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Kick Buttowski nor the characters on the show, nor do I make any money off of posting this FanFic.

Chapter List
- 1-Stuntapalooza
- 1
Stuntapalooza

“ALRIGHT YOU ADRENALINE JUNKIES, GET READY!!!”
The announcer addressed the raucous crowd at the top of his lungs, and they responded in kind, their cheers filling the air to the point where they were deafening. Mellowbrookland had no resemblance to its old look as it was modified to host Stuntapalooza, the world’s largest festival for all things extreme. And fans of the extreme crowded around ground level, surrounding a rollercoaster which had no cart on its tracks. But it wasn’t about to be used for a ride...
“YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAME HERE FOR!!!” The announcer continued. “For the World Record-Breaking Grind, done by Mellowbrook’s extreme son, the one, the only, KICK BUTTOWSKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!”
And from behind the excited young man came a familiar figure. Slimmer, older, but still just as extreme; possibly even more so. Kick jetted past the announcer and leaped into the air, Ol’ Blue clenched firmly in his hand as he placed it under his feet and prepared for the grind of his life. As the bottom of his board hit the rail, Kick adjusted for balance and began the long, arduous grind that would place him in the record books and fans’ memories forever. He stayed tight on the turns, kept his center of gravity low and even hit a successful loop as the fans chanted his name.
“KICK! KICK! KICK! KICK! KICK!”
It was stunt nirvana, an extreme Eden as he continued his grind, a confident grin on his face. But that grin would fade as well as the chants, the latter being drowned out by a familiar and annoying substitute.
“Kick...KICK...KIIIIIIICK!!!”

“GUH!!!”
The sound of that shrill yell jostled Kick from dream world and deposited him back in the back seat of “Monique”, his father’s beloved car, sitting next to his not-so-beloved little sister, Brianna. “KICK, you drooled on my gown for the Stuntapalooza Pageant!”
“Huh?” He said, regaining his bearings. “Must’ve dozed off.”
“Don’t worry about it, Kick.”
The young stuntman looked forward to see his best friend Gunther in the seat in front of him. “All superstars need their rest, especially since you’ll be attempting the World Record for Longest Rail Grind tomorrow.”
“You mean creating the World Record for Fail!”
And that’s when Kick noticed his brutal older brother Brad sitting across from Gunther. “I told you Brad, I don’t do fail.” Kick responded.
“HA, right! And Dad doesn’t have a secret Tankini Lumberjack Video Stash!”
“Huh, what was that?” Honey, their mother, asked.
“Oh, NOTHING DEAR!” Harold quickly chimed in before changing the subject. “OH LOOK, we’re here.”
“My, what an awfully big crowd...”
Honey Buttowski referred to the dozens and dozens of wild & crazy fans positioned outside of Skidzeez, all of them waiting to see the star of the event. Right under the Skidzeez sign was a banner of Kick, advertising that he would be signing autographs there for the day.
“FEH! How did this dilweed get so many loser fans, anyway?” Brad remarked.
“Comes with the territory.” Kick coolly replied.
“That territory being Kick’s rank as No. 7 on Rank of Awesome dot com!” Gunther elaborated. “Kick’s videos of his stunts are taking the world by storm!”
“Who knew all I needed was an angry cat at the end of my videos to become so famous?”
“I did.” Brianna answered mockingly.
Kick just rolled his eyes at his sister, before grabbing his trusty skateboard from beneath him. “Well, gotta give the fans what they want. Gunther, Tunes!”
“Check!” And on cue, Gunther raised a boom box from the car floor and hit the play button. But instead of classic hard rock leading his grand entrance, the car was filled with the theme from Teena Sometimes. A development which caused Brad to double over in laughter.
“OHHH MAN, THAT’S CLASSIC FAIL!!!” He cackled as Kick turned to his sister.
“Brianna...”
“Oh, like you’re the only one who can use the boom box!” She shot back.
“Don’t worry, on it!” And Gunther was as he swiftly removed the Teena Sometimes CD, tossing it back at Kick’s sister, and injected some classic rock to greet the fans as Kick opened the car door. A red carpet greeted him as the wheels of Ol’ Blue pressed down against it, and with a kick & a push, he coasted down the aisle, past his cheering fans and through the glass doors of Skidzeez, where even more of them awaited him inside. Dismounting his skateboard, he threw up the horns hand gesture as Gunther chugged behind him, catching up. A moment later, they were both greeted to the shop by the owners, Razz and Hush.
“EPIC! AS! ALWAYS, Kick!” Razz commented. “Not to showy, but still with enough style that says Extreme Daredevil and Jumpsuits are coming back!”
“Good to see you too, Razz.” Kick replied. “So where do I start?”
“Gotcha set up right there.” Hush calmly responded, showing the two over to a chair & table that were bordered by two large cardboard cutouts of Kick Buttowski in action.
“Sweet.” Kick said as he took his seat.
Gunther took the short amount of time before the autograph session began to go over Kick’s schedule for the day. “Alright Kick; this is only an hour-long session. After this we gotta get you back training for the World’s Longest Rail Grind. The theme park only has it on loan for the weekend!”
“Don’t worry, Gunther.” Kick assured him as he grabbed a marker off the table. “We’ll be done before you know it, and back to doing what Kick Buttowski does best.”
“ALRIGHT, YOU MANIANCS! SINGLE FILE!!!” Razz shouted over a megaphone as the fans began to line up. “You are about to meet a Titan of Extreme, a Legend in the Making, A man who eats Fear for breakfast! SCRAMBLED! WITH EXTRA BACON!!!...so please don’t cut in line, we’re all civilized people here.”
And as the first customer stepped up to the table, Kick shuffled through the stack of portraits in front of him. “And who’s this going out to?”
“Make it out to ‘Someone who wants you and all your Stunts in this town shut down for life!’”
“OK, that’s an extra-long message so we’re gonna have to charge you by the letter!” Gunther replied. But the familiar voice caused Kick to turn his gaze forward & upward, confirming his suspicion.
“Kendall.”
The blonde scholar stood confidently across from Kick, wearing a white blouse, a black skirt, white knee-high socks and black shoes. Her hands were on her hips as she sneered down at Kick. “Thought Daddy Dearest sent you off to a Private School.”
“He did.” She answered. “Graduated Early, made Valedictorian. And now I’m here to put a stop to you!”
“Because you just earned your degree in Killjoy?”
“Because YOUR stunts are what’s wrong with this town!” She shot back, slamming her hands on the table. “For years you’ve been terrorizing Mellowbrook with your extreme displays. How many buildings and monuments have you damaged just so you could live for the moment!?”
“418.” Kick answered calmly.
“All insured and paid for by Kick’s video revenue.” Gunther added. “Which explains why he can’t afford large mansions or other rich guy stuff.”
“That still doesn’t change how you’re a bad influence, Clarence!” She responded, drawing out an annoyed look from Kick as she used his real name. “Somebody has to put a stop to you, and I guess it’s gonna be us!”
“Us!?” Gunther and Kick collectively replied.
Kendall remained silent in answering their question, instead reaching for her blouse and ripping it open to show a T-shirt underneath, with 6 letters spelled across her chest. “And by us I mean Humans Against Terrifying Extreme Recreational Sports!”
Kick simply rolled his eyes at the announcement as Gunther continued to spell out the letters on Kendall’s shirt. “E...R...S. HEY, That spells Hat—!”
“We will not allow you to break ANY World Record which advocates danger and recklessness like your stunts do!” Kendall interrupted.
“Really?” Kick said, standing up out of his seat. As he reached his feet he noticed that she was still fairly taller than him, but her height did allow him an advantage view. “Better men than you have tried and failed. There are three things you can’t kill, Rock & Roll, the American Dream, and the Daredevil Spirit!”
“Oh we’ll see about that!” Kendall shot back. “Our voice will not be silenced, and you will NOT do your stunt this weekend, OR ANY STUNT!!!”
“HEY! We gotta keep the line moving!” Razz shouted with his bullhorn. “Now either get something signed or move along!”
“I’ll be happy to have Kick sign something...” She replied, before turning to her rival. “...as long as it shuts him down from stunts!”
A smug grin grew on her face, but slowly shrank when she noticed Kick was wearing one of his own. “Left Breast or Right?”
She was confused at first, but then realized what Kick referred to as she glanced down, and saw her V-neck T-shirt caused her bosom to nearly be on display. Shocked & embarrassed, she folded her arms over her chest and marched off, as Kick sat back down with a look of victory.
“Some things never change...” He commented.
“I don’t know, Kick.” Gunther chimed in. “She seemed really determined this time. Plus she had a T-shirt, with an acronym on it!”
“Let her have all the acronyms she wants.” Kick told his friend. “Nothing can stop the Daredevil Spirit. NEXT!!!”

The sun was all but set as the Mellowbrook sky glowed with a dark orange hue. Several stars could even be seen twinkling in the dusk sky as Kick & Gunther stood high on top of the Mellowbrookland Roller Coaster. It was almost completely dark out, but Kick wanted one more run-through of his stunt for perfection.
“Kick, we’re gonna miss the big Dinner Buffet!” Gunther argued. “And my Mom’s serving Lingonberry Pie. I can’t miss that, Kick!”
“Just one more run...” Kick replied, a focused look in his eye. “...I want everything perfect for tomorrow. In 24 hours, the name Kick Buttowski shall forever be cemented in the Book of Extreme!”
“Wow, they make that book with cement?” Gunther questioned. “Must be heavy to lug around.”
Kick was about to correct his large Norse friend when the two of them overheard a commotion coming from the base of the Coaster. Looking down, they saw almost a dozen young women gathering together, all of them carrying a sign and wearing similar T-shirts to the one Kendall wore earlier.
“NO MORE STUNTS! NO MORE STUNTS! NO MORE STUNTS!!!”
“A Protest!?” Kick said. “I smell Kendall behind this.”
“And they got the same shirts that she wore earlier!” Gunther noticed. “See, it says Hat—!”
“Ignore them, Gunther.” Kick advised. “Besides, I don’t see Kendall down there anyway. One more run, and then we hit the buffet! Get the camera ready!”
“Check!” Gunther replied, hopping into the lead car on the train as he readied his camcorder. Kick in turn grabbed Ol’ Blue, preparing for his final run of the night before his big stunt. Pulling the lever on the side, the train slowly crawled to life and rolled forward as Kick leaped onto the track and began his grind. It started with a huge downhill decline that allowed Kick to build up speed, shooting him out ahead of Gunther and the train, though Kick’s wingman was still able to get great footage of the grind. Eventually the train caught up to Kick rounding a corner, and their speed synchronized, giving Gunther some dynamic close-up footage. But as he continued to film Kick, he was unaware of a presence lurking behind him.
“Make sure you get the whole grind, Gunther!” Kick told him.
“GOTCHA!!!”
It happened in a flash. A blur appeared from behind Gunther, lunging forward for Kick’s arm and snapping a pair of Handcuffs onto it. Looking back, the two spotted the culprit of this lockdown, Kendall.
“Kendall, what are you doing!?” Kick said, trying to keep his balance.
“I have you, Clarence!” She announced. “Once I handcuff you to this car you won’t be joining any World Record Book! You are so...so...”
Her voice trailed off as her eyes focused forward. Kick and Gunther followed her gaze and found out the reason; the track was headed for a loop, and they weren’t going fast enough to clear it. As they ascended up the loop, Ol’ Blue began to wobble, causing Kick to lose his balance. And before Kendall could let go of the handcuffs, she and Kick found themselves plummeting down off the tracks of the Roller Coaster to the dark woods below.
“KIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!” Gunther shouted, his voice fading as the two fell further away from him. They were then greeted by jagged but brittle tree branches, each snapping as they fell through them, slowing their descent before finally hitting the turf...in a compromising position as she landed with her head between his legs. After a moment, Kick slowly rose up and Kendall lifted her head, and both saw their positions.
“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!”
Instantly they jumped to their feet as Kick brushed off any trace of Kendall on his lap and she scraped her tongue feverishly.
“EWWEWWEWWEWWEWWEWWEWW!!!”
As she continued to panic, Kick regained his bearings and examined the surrounding area. “Just where the hell are we?”
“Deep in the woods, thanks to you.” Kendall replied promptly.
“Hey, I wasn’t the one playing stalker and running around with Handcuffs!” Kick shot back. “And just where do you—we’re handcuffed together.”
It was true; lifting up their arms Kendall’s left wrist was attached to Kick’s right. And the ordeal brought up bad memories. “This is Ronaldo’s birthday all over again.”
“I’m surprised you don’t bother him with this stuff.” Kick commented.
Kendall scoffed. “Please, he’d rather study Quadratic Equations that try anything freaky in the bed—I mean, NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!”
“You’re right, it isn’t.” Kick agreed. “My business is getting out of this forest, getting you away from me, and getting back to my World Record-Breaking Stunt! We should be able to follow the tracks—!”
“That’ll take too long!” Kendall debated. “Look, my natural leadership skills can easily guide us out of these woods, and me away from you. We just need to go this way.”
She pointed to her left, not bothering to see which direction it was. Kick to a glance however, and noticed a sign reading “This Way Stuntapalooza Wet T-shirt Contestants.”
“That’s...not a good idea.” He disputed. “I think—WHOA!”
Kick’s thought was interrupted as Kendall grabbed his collar and pulled him close. “Listen Clarence, I’m in NO mood for doing anything Stunt-related! We are going to WALK back to civilization! Not skateboard, not climb, not swing and doing anything that would result in a broken NECK! WE ARE WALKING, GOT IT!?!?”
Seeing her teeth grinding against each other and the fire burning in her eyes, Kick decided to relent to her demands. “Fine, whatever you say, Kendall.”
“Thank you.” She replied, her demeanor instantly switching to politeness. And with that, she led the way with Kick closely behind her, a sinister smirk on his face as she still was clueless to what lied ahead on her path, and he was in no hurry to reveal what it was. After minutes on their journey the pathway became almost pitch black. Both Kick & Kendall put their arms up to try and feel their way through.
“Oh great!” Kendall lamented. “You wouldn’t happen to have a flashlight in that helmet, would you?”
“Yeah, but the batteries are dead.” Kick responded before nearly tripping over something in his path. “Wait, I think I found something.”
Kendall bent over and felt around. It was a hard surface, like smooth wood; and it led to similar surfaces stacked in ascending order. “STAIRS!!!” She exclaimed as she dragged Kick up them. “Finally! We can find someone who can—!”
“WELCOME TO THE 4^TH ANNUAL STUNTAPALOOZA WET T-SHIRT CONTEST! SPONSORED BY TANKINI LUMBERJACK MAGAZINE!!!”
The sound of electricity crackling filled the air before dozens of flood lights illuminated the area. The stairs the two climbed didn’t lead to their salvation, but to a stage where they joined the rank of several busty young women wearing the thinnest fabric ever to create a shirt, just waiting for moisture to showcase their ‘talents’.
“...put us in a worse position.” Kendall finished. “A Wet T-Shirt Contest!? They’ll never let me in an Ivy League School over this! But how—?”
Kendall stopped herself as she began to put 2 and 2 together. “You KNEW!”
“Hey, you’re the one who wanted a nice, gingerly walk.” Kick replied smugly.
“I CAN’T be here, Kick!” She cried, hiding behind Kick to shield herself. “This is a nightmare! You gotta get me outta here!”
Glancing off to her left out at the raucous crowd, Kendall spotted a sight that sent more shivers down her spine than the cool night air...a gigantic Water Pump Cannon. It fired a burst of water into the air, splashing one of girls several feet away from her, and drenching her shirt so her tits were on full display. The crowd cheered loudly as Kendall trembled, fearing a similar embarrassment was inevitable unless Kick complied and escaped with her. But looking at his face, she saw a stalwart smirk embedded on his face...but surprisingly it was removed when Kick noticed the three young men who were manning the cannon; Horace, Pantsy, and his dreaded older brother seated behind the cannon, Brad.
“BEST! SUMMER JOB! EVER!!!” Brad boasted. “Now which hottie should I shower next?”
“Come on Brad, when is it gonna be my turn on the cannon?” Horace whined.
“HEY! I’m the next one to use the cannon!” Pantsy debated.
“PIPE DOWN, YOU FART FACES!” Brad ordered. “I’m trying to decide which honey gets the honor of...wait a minute...” He rose up out of his seat and leaned forward, narrowing his eyes to see if it was indeed who he thought he saw on the stage...and his suspicions were confirmed. “THE DILWEED! New plan, men; Spray ‘N Pray!”
Brad’s henchmen responded by grabbing two nearby mega-soaker water guns, and cocking them. “I want that stage to look like it’s been through Niagara Falls! SOAK MY BROTHER!!!”
“Aw, Biscuits.” Kick responded.
“NOW can we get out of here!?” Kendall inquired frantically.
“Oh yeah!”
Grabbing Kendall’s hand, Kick darted to his right, back the way they came up to the stage. But before they can make their escape, a huge stream of water blocks their path, courtesy of Brad’s cannon.
“No escape, Dilweed!” Brad taunted.
Kick responded with a confident grin. “Challenge accepted.”
“What are you thinking!?” Kendall asked nervously.
“What’s the most extreme way to cool off on a hot day?” Kick asked.
“Sitting silently in front of a fan and nothing else?” She answered, knowing what Kick had in mind.
Kick ignored that response as he noticed the entire stage was drenched, making the surface perfect for his plan. “Get ready Kendall, it’s time to Slip...”
“Oh no, NOT THE DAREDEVIL FACE!!!”
“...AND SLIDE!!!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!”
Charging forward, Kick & Kendall both ran full speed across the other end of the stage, towards the row of girls with soaked clothing. Timing it just right, Kick lowered himself and leaned back, starting a feet-first slide through each of the girls curvy legs. Kendall was dragged screaming behind him in a head-first slide, covering her eyes so she wouldn’t see between the girls’ legs. Desperate to nail his little brother, Brad unleashed the Water Cannon across the stage at full blast, taking out all of the contestants in his attempt to drench Kick. It was a failed attempt however, as even though the stage was in ruins, both Kick & Kendall rose up triumphant, the latter shocked that she survived the experience without damage.
“CHIMICHANGA!!!” Kick cheered, striking his trademark pose.
“QUESADILLA!!!”
He glanced over to his right to see Kendall a similar, but more elegant pose. It was strange to see, but still drew a smile to his face. The smile would fade after they heard a creaking noise, and a realization would occur. Though they successfully dodged Brad and his friends’ water blasts, the constant drenching weakened the wooden boards on the stage...
KRUNCCHHH!!!
...and sent the two plummeting through the stage before tumbling down the hill it was built on.
“WOOOOOOAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!”
As they fell away from the stage area, Brad jumped out of the seat of the cannon and began dancing...horribly. “THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!!!” He said. “Nothing like washing a dilweed down the drain! Now to check on the lovely ladies and—!”
The dream and those words died in his mouth as he turned towards the stage and saw several of the women getting to their feet, completely waterlogged and enraged over the carnage. Thinking quickly, Brad came up with an idea to avoid bodily harm.
“Uh...HORACE! PANTSY! It’s your turn on the cannon! Have fun!”
Elated that they’ll finally get to operate such a massive machine, the two leapt into the controller’s seat, arguing about who’d get to use it first before eventually coming to a compromise.
“WHOA! Thank you, sir!” Pantsy said.
“Yeah, you’re the best, Brad!” Horace added.
Little did they know the danger that was approaching them in the form of almost a dozen angry young women, as Brad made his escape from the fray. “Heheheheh...Yeah Brad!”

“This is just GREAT!!!”
Kendall spoke those words as she picked herself up out of the dirt, only to notice that not only did she have a wet T-shirt, but it was also muddy. And to make matters worse, she was still handcuffed to Kick.
“THIS IS SO ALL YOUR FAULT!” She yelled.
“ME!?” Kick said, picking himself up. “YOU were the one who snuck on the car with handcuffs! I expect that from Wacky Jackie—!”
“You’re comparing ME to HER!?” Kendall interrupted. “You...you are a nightmare for this town! Ever since I met you it’s been nothing but heavy doses of misery!”
“And YOU have got to be the most stuck-up, snobbish, elitist, joy-killing, fun-stealing, boring, dull, bland, insomnia-curing, wannabe know-it-all that I have ever met!” Kick shot back in anger.
Those words tore through Kendall roughly, but fueled her anger. “I Hate You!”
“Well I hate you!”
“I LOATHE YOU!”
“I DESPISE YOU!”
Both were now seething with anger, nearly foaming at the mouth as they stood nose-to-nose. “AND I NEVER WANNA SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN!!!”
It was a declaration they both made in unison at the top of their lungs. They stared into each other’s eyes, fury and unbridled rage burning within them. Flashes of their past encounters ran through their minds as both of them stood their ground...and they kissed.
Kick fell back against a tree as Kendall pressed herself against him. The fires of rage were replaced with lust. Years of pent-up aggression and hidden feelings finally unleashed like a fireworks display. He could feel her perky breasts heaving against his chest, her nipples erect and poking his skin. He felt her tongue venture inside his mouth and search for his. He was losing himself in her and the moment, as was she. His hands felt up and down her thighs and her firm backside as her free hand rubbed against his helmet. Eventually she separated herself from him far enough to pull down the zipper on his jumpsuit with her free hand, all the way below his waist, revealing his boxers. Kick didn’t have to guess where this was going as he used his free hand to release his manhood. Kendall was already at work shimmying her panties down below her knees. She eventually got them down to her ankles and took one step out of them before growing impatient. They moved closer as Kick took hold of her leg with his free hand, ready to venture inside of her. It all happened so suddenly, but it had been building for years; and as they looked each other in the eyes once more, they both knew they wanted it.
Unfortunately a spotlight shined down on the two before it could actually happen, exposing them...in more ways than one.
“Aw, Biscuits.”
- 1
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Stuntapalooza