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The Greatest Enemies	By : vic_elor Category: Kim Possible > General Views: 17563 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Neither I nor anyone at AFF own or are in any way connected with the Kim Possible Universe or anything in it. I do not recieve any money for this.

Chapter List
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"Wade, you have no idea how stressful it's been around here lately." Kim said, staring blankly into her kimmunicator.
"Stressful how? There haven't been any hits on the site in like a week and I thought you said last week that you weren't having any major tests or papers until the middle of December."
"Yeah, I did say all of that. None of that is what's stressing me."
"Well then, what's the sitch?"
"Sorry Wade, I appreciate the offer but I can't talk about it yet. Need to know basis and all."
"Ah, top secret personal mission. So, what boy are you trying to spy on?"
"Wade!"
"Just kidding Kim, don't freak out. You must really be stressed!"
"Tell me about it."
"Well, if you decide I 'need to know' you know where you can find me."
Kim's screen went blank. She had wanted to tell Wade what was wrong, in fact that was why she had contacted him, but right before he answered she had changed her mind. The problem wasn't that big yet and she was still convinced she could solve it on her own.
"Oh Kim…" Tim yelled from downstairs.
Kim fell backwards onto her bed, wishing he would go away. After all, they couldn't bother her if they didn't think she was home.
"I should have had more self-control! If I wouldn't have wanted those pants so badly…" Kim chastised herself before reliving her moment of shame for the hundredth time.
-*Begin Diary*-
It was nearly a week ago, and, like most days, I was at school. The mid-fall fashion craze was in full gear and like every year I was not dressed for the occasion. It wasn't like I didn't want to be in style but a "save-the-world" job doesn't pay too well. So, I did my best to look 'in' wearing last years clothes. As always, Bonnie wasn't going to let me slide.
"Oh my god, is that you Kim? Or did the rummage bin at the Salvation Army explode?" Bonnie asked in her snide voice. Her insults that day were no cleverer then any other day but for some reason I let her get to me.
"Why don't you shut up Bonnie!"
"Make me, fashion reject."
I don't know what came over me. Suddenly I was just blinded by rage. If Ron hadn't shown up and physically held me back, I think I might have actually killed that pompous little witch. Fortunately, once I cooled down all I had to apologize for were some deep nail gouges in Ron's arm.
When I arrived at the house, it seemed I had beaten everyone else home. All alone, I could still feel the sting of Bonnie's insults. I had never even considered stealing anything until that very moment. I mean come on, it wasn't really stealing. I was just going to borrow some money from my parents without them knowing. At least that's how I sold it to myself.
Using all the stealth I had practiced hunting super villains, I creped into my parent's room and tip toed towards my mothers dresser, careful not to disturb anything laying about. Quietly, I slid open her top draw just a crack and slipped my hand inside.
'It's just like disarming a laser floor alarm. Move slowly and deliberately, careful not to touch anything unnecessarily.' I thought to myself.
Bingo! I felt my hand run a crossed something soft and smooth. It had to be the secret wallet she thought we didn't know about. It seemed kind of light but then again it's not like money is that heavy, so I grabbed it and pulled it out into the air.
I recoiled in horror and let my 'prize' slip loose of my grasp. Now lying on the floor, and just recently only an inch from my face, was a pair of frilly black lace panties just the right size to fit my mother. I could feel my chin tremble as a mental picture formed despite my best effort. I could see a shaft of moon light come through the open window and bathe my mother in a glow as she kneeled on my parent's bed. Despite wearing nothing to cover herself expect for her tiny panties, she was looking right straight at me and had no shame in her eyes.
"Come here Kimmy, it's time mommy taught you about the birds and the bees."
I remained motionless but, regardless of that, a spectral form appeared on the bed next to her. To my disgust my doppelganger closed her eyes and laid her head on my mothers exposed breasts.
"You see Kimmy, boys and girls are different and that's what makes having male friends fun. Of course, female friends can be fun too!" Mom told me as she reached under my shirt and undid my bra.
"I already know that mom." Spectral me replied, unconcerned by the fact my mother was now removing my shirt as well.
"Oh really? Do you know this from personal experience?"
"Well I… wait, are you asking me if I've had sex? No!"
While this was still overpoweringly creepy, I found my spectral reaction somewhat ridicules. She seemed upset by mom's last question, and embarrassed that she was talking to her about sex, but didn't seem at all concerned by mother's soft, steady hands massaging my breasts. In fact, she seemed to be enjoying it.
"Are you sure?" My mom asked in her most comforting 'mom' voice, "Because you know that you can tell me anything, right?"
"I know."
"So, you're sure then?"
"I'm sure."
"Not even any hanky-panky in the locker room after school? I mean, that Bonnie is VERY pretty and…"
"Mom!"
"What's the matter?"
"Are you seriously asking me if I've ever made out with my greatest non-super villain enemy?"
"Your father and I argue from time to time, but that doesn't me we don't love each other. Besides, I talked with Dr. Reistein, the psychiatrist at work, and she suggested that at your age arguing that much might be a sign of secret longings."
"That's SO not right; I do not secretly love Bonnie! I mean if I was going to get together with another girl it would totally be Monique, she's a lot more my type. I've tried telling her my feelings for her before but I always chicken out right when I see her."
"I do not have romantic feelings towards Monique!" I screamed, shattering my disturbing illusion. Once again it was just me standing in the dark in my parent's room, searching through my mothers clothes. I quickly grabbed the lace undies off the floor and returned them to the drawer, trying hard not to think about them or the disturbing vision they had inspired.
At this moment I debated if I should simply leave my parents room. Either of my parents could come home at any moment and I'd be grounded for life if they caught me in here. Plus I'd hate to have to see another disturbing vision.
No, I'm on a mission and I'm going to complete it. I'm Kim Possible and I can do anything, even steal!
I knew my mom's wallet had to be in that drawer so I slid my hand inside once again and quickly found another item. I pulled the object out and was relieved that this time I was right; I had found her secret emergency money.
I stared at the wallet for a full minute, afraid to open it. Up until this very moment I was just snooping about, something that I knew wasn't admirable but wasn't all that bad. Now though, I had was about to steal from my parents and I had no doubt that would be the wrong thing to do. Still, I needed that money and I had planned on replacing it before they noticed so it wasn't really stealing… was it?
I sighed deep, opened the wallet, and removed a few of the bills from the main fold. I wasn't proud, but I wasn't turning back now. I started to put the wallet back in its secret hiding place when suddenly I heard the door to the room fly open and bash against the wall.
"CHEESE!" Jim yelled right as a flash of light blinded me. Or maybe it was Tim, I couldn't be sure because as I could clearly hear both of them shouting as they ran out of the room.
"Cheese?" I thought to myself. I knew the tweebs were weird but why would they yell cheese? That really more something Rufus would shriek. I felt physically sick when it finally hit me: Yelling cheese, a flash of light, then running away. They had probably heard my outburst a few moments ago and, knowing that I couldn't possibly have a good reason for being in my parent's bedroom, decided to use their Polaroid camera to catch me red handed. In my confusion, I'd let them get away and by now they were undoubtedly locked in their room, just now realizing what exactly they had caught me doing.
-*End Diary*-
"Oh Kim…" Tim yelled a second time, this time sounding much closer. They know that the only place I can hide from them is my room so that is usually they first place they look for me.
"Just go away 'tweeb, I'm really not in the mood right now."
"Alright then," Jim said standing clearly right outside the door, "we wanted to talk to you about something but if you're too busy we can just go talk to mom about it. She's good with photos, right?"
Kim jolted out of bed and rushed to the door, expecting her younger brothers to be halfway downstairs already. Instead, she found them still standing at her door, each wearing a self-satisfied grin that can only come from outsmarting an older sibling.
"What do you tweebs want?"
"Can we come in?"
"No!"
"Fine, if you're going to be rude…"
"Alright, come in but make it quick." Kim said as she reluctantly stepped out of the doorway.
"Let's not waste time, okay? We know you don't really like us and to be honest you're not our favorite person either."
"We can agree on that."
"Plus you're room has this creepy teen girl vibe that sends shivers down my…."
"Would you get on with it!"
"Right, the matter at hand. We know we have something you want and, after a lengthy discussion, we've decided to give it to you. But we want something in exchange."
"I'll bite," Kim sighed, "What do you tweebs want in exchange for the picture?"
"Condoms."
"Condoms?"
"Yep, condoms."
"Why could you tweebs possibly want condoms? Do you even know what condoms are?"
"Yes, we know what they are, we're not stupid. We've arranged to help tutor some older girls in exchange for… Well, I don't think you need to know any more then that. The point is no one would possibly sell them to us but we're positive no one will think twice about selling some to you."
"You two can't be serious? There is no way I'm going to…."
"Do you want the photo or do you want us to show it to mom and dad?"
"Fine, despite my better judgment I'll get you some condoms but you tweebs better not try to double cross me."
"Seriously Kim stop being so paranoid. If you get us what we want why would we possibly want to double cross you?"
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The Greatest Enemies