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The Darker Side of New Thundera	By : Crystalandra Category: +S through Z > Thundercats Views: 7628 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the ThunderCats or any character or events associated with it. I do not own or make any money from the ThunderCats or from this fiction

Chapter List
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Book One: The Darker side of New Thundera—Sh’iars gold…

Chapter 1

Schwenk sat at the bar, nursing a dubiously cloudy beer. The bar area was hot, smelly and filled with varying cats. Next to him sat his partner (business, not sexual, you understand), Lumar. "This place stinks like your armpits!" he snorted as he sipped the beer

Lumar cast a wary eye at his human companion and grunted not taking this insult seriously...he was used to it. Instead he huddled down further on his bar seat and chugged his beer. When the big cat was finished he motioned to the bartender for a refill; he turned to Schwenk. "How much money do we have left?"

"Not much....enough for one more round of this feline swill then probably time to hit the sack....and tonight...I get the side next to the radiator!"

"Ah come on Schwenk!" Lumar protested whipping his long tail. "You know I get cold at night! I need to sleep next to the radiator...just because I have a fur coat doesn't mean it keeps me warm. Sheesh you humans!"

“...and you had the heater last night!" he retorted and with your flabby arse in front of it I got no damn heat....well....apart from the heat that came from your mouth and arse!" he scowled.

The big cat pouted. "You were hogging the covers how else was I supposed to keep warm? If you have a problem with that then you should have rented a bigger room with proper heating and not one with a puny radiator!"

The bartending, a brown pudgy rat with black beady eyes placed a freshly poured drought in front of Lumar. "Gods and goddesses you two are bickering like an old married couple!"

"Thanks, Ratface...this goon feels hard done by! If he was better at his job, we could afford better lodgings...in the meantime the best way to stay warm is to eat curried goat...problem is, Ratty...what goes in definitely comes out..." he pulled a face. "He snores too....and sweats....his feet smell....apart from that....he's OK, I guess..." he winked at the barkeep.

The bartender threw up his arms and quickly retreated to the far side of the bar to serve another customer having heard enough. Lumar turned to Schwenk frowning, "My feet don't smell...do they? I lick them clean every night before going to bed!"

"Well...that answers the questions I had about your breath..." he paused and smirked.”Can't afford meat tonight, I'm afraid...maybe some rice and gravy?" he shrugged.

"I hate rice and gravy..." the big cat sighed. "I could really go for a huge flank of raw meat dripping in blood...But I guess if that's all we can afford...Hey Schwenk don't you have any jobs lined up?"

"Not really....oh, and that reminds me...in your sleep please stop putting your arm over me...purring and licking my arm...I'm not edible...well, I am...but not to you...OK?" he paused. "Maybe tomorrow we'll find a sweet mark...get some more cash..."

"Oh okay great..." Lumar raised a bushy eyebrow. "I am not one for purring in my sleep...I did that when I was a cub...You really crack me up Schwenk!"

"I think you're dreaming about eating me!! Well...you'll have to use those dental daggers on grains of rice for now..." he indicated to Ratface for two bowls of cheap food to be brought over.

As if on queue, Lumar's stomach rumbled--he was about to give Schwenk a quick retort when all talking in the pub came to a stop; the tiger turned in his seat to see what was going on. An old Sh'iar priest had entered the establishment. Dressed in a fine silken robe bearing the emblem of the Phoenix, he shambled up to the counter, "Excuse me..." he whispered to the bartender. "I am quite parched can you spare a humble Sh'iar priest a glass of water?"

The rat hastily pulled out a clean glass, filled it with the best CLEAN water he could find and pushed it towards the elderly cat. "Thank you." He drank and when finished pushed a gold coin across as payment. "May the Goddess Phoenix protect you."

"Lumie..." Schwenk whispered and jerked his head to the gold coin. "We're in..."

"In what?" The tiger asked stupidly watching the priest.

"He's our mark....dummy!"

"The Sh'iar priest? Oh no...no Schwenk...I couldn't...We can't! They're sacred...no one has ever dared rob a Sh'iar priest!" Lumar protested.

"Hence the reason they're shit loaded...come on...when he leaves we just rough him up and steal the cash....think of the meat, huh??"

Lumar twisted his lip torn between having a decent meal to eat that included meat or having his soul eternally damned...now which was the lesser of two evils? Eating or stealing gold from a priest? The tiger's stomach growled. "Okay Schwenk...as long as we don't hurt the old man too much."

"Fine, fine...I'll do it...I'm smaller, right...First, we eat our rice and then follow Skeletor..." he winked at Lumar.

The bartender plopped the meager dishes in front of Schwenk and Lumar; the tiger peered suspiciously into his bowl. "Uh there's a cockroach in my rice."

The Rat made a face, "Really?" He looked into the bowl. "Actually I can see three of those buggers in there...Enjoy."

Lumar shrugged, picked the insects out and popped them into his mouth. "Hey these are really crunchy, Schwenk!"

Schwenk pulled a face. "You're disgusting...but rather them than me..." he shrugged. He ate his rice carefully. He picked his only roach out and put it in his fellow's bowl "happy birthday..."

The tiger grinned, "And it's not even my birthday!" And he eagerly gobbled up the insect making loud smacking sounds.

"Nor was it that bug's birthday, clearly..." he finished his rice. "Right...once you've finished populating your stomach with living beings...can we lurk in an alley until bone-daddy struggled along?"

Lumar reluctantly upended the bowl emptying the entire contents into his mouth and swallowed. "I'm done...The priest is outside standing at the corner handing out pamphlets."

"Fine....lure him into the alley over the road....got it? Good!" Schwenk left the bar and entered the dark, cold alley and waited.

The tiger felt bad...well he was feeling downright dishonest but the idea of eating a thick flank of raw steak had him salivating. He left the bar and approached the Sh'iar priest; the old man glanced up smiling,
"My child...would you like a pamphlet to read about the wonders of our Goddess the Phoenix?"

Lumar glanced around nervously, "Yeah...sure...but I would like it better if you could perhaps tell me about the miracles of the Phoenix."

"Yes...of course dear child I would love to...” the priest replied enthusiastically. Lumar began walking towards the area Schwenk indicated with the old man shuffling behind...

Schwenk waited behind an overflowing garbage can for the pair to arrive. The stench was overpowering. Schwenk considered the sacrifices he made just for Lumar. He felt like such a martyr.

The Sh'iar priest was babbling a mile a minute talking on and on about the works the Phoenix had done not really paying much attention as to where the tiger was leading him. Lumar's nose twitched detecting Schwenk's scent nearby; he stopped and smiled down at the unsuspecting priest. The old man glanced around finally noticing his surroundings. "Why have you led me here? Should we not go someplace that is more hospitable?"

"Now, now, old man..." Schwenk stood. "This won't take a minute..." he held a small silenced pistol. It was an expensive luxury, but he wrote it off under 'company expenses'. "Your gold, if you please...then we'll be gone..."

The Sh'iar priest's eyes widened with surprise, shock, and alarm; he turned beseechingly towards the tiger for help. "I am but an old man...will you not step in and help me? I have done you no harm!"

Lumar flinched. "Just do as he says and you won't get hurt...hand over the gold."

"It is not mine to give...it belongs to the Phoenix...it is her gold! Ask me not to surrender her gold!" The priest pleaded.

"Listen, pops...gold...now...I don't give a shit to who it belongs..."

"Whom..." Lumar corrected. Schwenk gave him a snotty glare. "I don't give a shit to whom it belongs...Now...hand over..." he growled and waggled the gun.

The priest clutched the gold to his chest shaking his head...

"One..." the human counted.

"Kill me if you must but I won't surrender the gold...let me go..." He wailed. "HELP ME! OH GODDESS SAVE YOUR HUMBLE SERVANT FROM THESE ROBBERS!"

Schwenk fired without even thinking, to shut the old man up.

"SCHWENK--NO!" Lumar roared leaping forward, the priest crumpled to the ground spilling his treasure of gold. The tiger glanced down at the old man watching his life blood drain out onto the surrounding area...Who knew the Sh'iar priest would have so much blood! "You killed him Schwenk." Lumar groaned. "Why did you have to kill him?!"

"Quick!!" he snapped, “grab the gold and let's get going.” He started scooping up the gold. "Stupid sod, he gave me no choice..." he muttered.

"Oh we are in so much trouble Schwenk! He's dead--You killed a Sh'iar priest! We are in so much trouble...I can't touch that money Schwenk! What are we going to do?!" Lumar started to panic.

Schwenk filled his pockets with all his money. "OK, Lumar...come here..." he put his arm around and his shoulder and gave his face a hard smack. "Quit blubbing...we can live now...he's dead, deal with it...he's just a vicar who was close to death anyway...I eased him on the way to God with a .38...I did him a favour..." he chuckled.

"B-b-but..." the tiger clutched his cheek where Schwenk had smacked him. "You don't understand...It's not just any God...this is the Phoenix! An all powerful and all seeing Goddess...that's what I heard. No one ever messes with the Sh'iars! We're damned Schwenk...DAMNED!" Lumar started to cry.

Schwenk rolled his eyes and grabbed Lumar by his whiskers. "Get a GRIP!!" he whispered harshly, nose to nose.

The tiger blinked. "Okay...okay...Schwenk you know what's best...You'll take care of everything--right? You'll take care of Lumar...Tell Lumar everything will be all right!"

"Everything will be fine....So...let's stick the old geezer in a bin...then we go back to the nice warm bed, right??"

"And you'll let me sleep by the radiator because I get awfully cold at night and you won't hog all of the covers?" Lumar asked then added. "Can you buy me a huge slab of raw meat? I'm still kind of hungry."

Schwenk grabbed the fur even tighter. "I'm by the radiator....you're lucky you're not back on the street!! After all this blubbing...you want meat? Tomorrow breakfast...Let your stomach remind you what a good thing I did tonight!!"

"Okay...sure Schwenk." Lumar whimpered. "You get the radiator and Lumar will freeze...Can you let go that really hurts..."

"Promise me....no revenge..."

"No revenge...I wouldn't Schwenk--honest! Um would you mind if maybe I sought out some warm female companionship?" He asked hesitantly.

"Not tonight...we're not wasting the money..." he let go. "Besides there's no room in the bed..."

"Can't you maybe sleep on the floor?" Lumar asked timidly
.
"You are, I assume...taking the piss!!" he growled. He had to remain wary, although Lumar was generally subordinate; he was a male bengalian, nearly seven foot tall, twice the weight armed with horribly cruel teeth and claws. "Tonight we sleep....well, apparently I sleep and you freeze....now...dump the stiff and let's get going..."

The tiger seeing that he wasn't going to have his way, hung his head in defeat and wordlessly lifted the priest's body tossing it into the garbage bin. Although he outweighed the human he depended on Schwenk since he was his only friend in life to an outcast. "There...it's done Schwenk."

"Right...let's get to bed before the alarm is raised..." he headed back to the inn.

Lumar sighed and meekly followed.

They both reached their bedsit. Schwenk stripped down to his underwear and reveled in the gold they now had. "Look at this, tiger...huh? Good haul...tomorrow we'll eat well!!" he chuckled.

Lumar had his back to the human, "Wonderful...I still feel bad about the priest...Remember your promise Schwenk...you said you would buy me a thick flank of raw steak."

"...and all being well I may..." he yawned.

The big cat studied Schwenk. "You promised..." He sat on the floor pouting and checked under his feet.

"Just words, but I hope to keep my promise...Why are you checking your feet?"

"I am checking to see if under my feet are clean and if they aren't I'm going to lick them clean...This is part of my daily washing routine." Lumar ruffled his fur annoyed.

"You're disgusting!!" he screwed his face up. "What with that and eating roaches....what's next licking your own arsehole!?"

"Now that is downright nasty!" Lumar growled. "I do shower you know just like you!" He whipped his tail angrily.

"OK, calm down!" he recognized the signs. "Was just thinking I'd rather eat the roaches than lick those things..."

The tiger grunted and retracted his claws, "Hey Schwenk..." he called. "Would you mind scratching me behind my ears? It feels so much better when you do it since you don't have long claws like me."

He sighed. "OK..." he walked over and started scratching the tiger behind the ears.

This soothed the big cat calming his already jagged nerves; he let loose a throaty purr of delight much to Schwenk's annoyance.

"Do you have to? Next door will think we're making love!" he groaned.

"What?!" Lumar asked confused. "I don't understand? How could anybody possibly think that? You're just being silly Schwenk...if they hear us they'll think nothing of it!" He continued to purr loudly and Schwenk stopped having had enough...

"Time for bed, tiger...honestly, every time I do your ears you give such a performance! It's embarrassing..."

Lumar twitched his whiskers. "Well what do you expect from me? I am after all a cat you know!" He got up from off the floor. "I'm heading into the bathroom...I'm going to take a shower before I come to bed...a nice hot shower--I need the warmth."

"Oh boo hoo...Shame...this radiator...is gorgeous...." he bragged unkindly.

The big tiger bared his huge canines and sauntered into the bathroom.

Schwenk rolled his eyes. "So touchy..." he smirked. He put his head down on the pillow and enjoyed the warmth.

Lumar, finished with his hot shower, climbed into the bed...all 350lbs of hot, sweaty, wet fur beside poor Schwenk...

"Oh you bastard!!" Schwenk exclaimed as he was squished against the wall by a hot, wet wall of fur.

"What now?" The tiger asked perplexed. "What have I done? We don't have any clean towels...I'm sorry I couldn't dry off properly." Lumar wriggled further into the bed now Schwenk was practically wedged right up to the wall!

"If I could turn over I'd slap you!!" he grumbled. "Keep that tail from wandering as well....and shove a cork up your butt!"

"I won't be farting at all Schwenk!" No sooner were the words out of the tiger's mouth, he let loose low resounding praaaaap; the room was filled with the smell of rotten eggs. Embarrassed, Lumar used his tail to fan the air but it was too late, the damage was done.

Schwenk coughed and spluttered. "Hope you freeze..." he croaked and pulled more blanket over himself.

"Ah come on Schwenk...I'm sorry!" The tiger cried. "I couldn't help myself...I have it under control!" Lumar farted again.

Schwenk jumped out of bed. "Right...fine...you have the radiator...hope you blow yourself up!" he got in the dent left by the now smiling tiger.

"Schwenk...really? I'm sorry...I didn't mean for you to give up your warm spot..." Lumar protested...he laughed inside pleased with himself and scooted closer to the radiator.

"Yeah, yeah...tell it to the roaches!" he grumbled as he tried to retrieve some blanket.

Lumar let loose one last blast, curled up in the bed and was fast asleep purring loudly all to Schwenk's chagrin.

Schwenk turned over and was practically nose to hot breath blasting nose. He squeezed his eyes shut and drifted off to sleep.

Lumar rolled over in his sleep and began pawing at the human...now and then he would snarl in his sleep and kick his legs...

Schwenk had what may be described as a fitful sleep. Nights like this were normally the worst. He didn't know whether he'd be loved or eaten. In fact, he was unsure which would be worse!

The tiger then began thrashing in his sleep, "Guilty...” he sighed throwing a muscular arm over Schwenk. "Shouldn't have killed the priest...guilty...so guilty...Gold...shiny gold...cursed!"

"Wake....up...." Schwenk struggled in the vice like grip.

Lumar slept on not hearing the human and squeezed tighter growling.

"Shiiiit...." he squirmed. "Lu....mar!!!" he kicked with his heels, trying to find a dangling collection of assorted, tender genitalia.

Well that certainly woke the big cat up; he shrieked protectively clutching at his throbbing privates. "Wh-why did you do that?" The tiger gasped doubling over in pain. "What's wrong with you Schwenk?! I do hope to have a family one day!"

"You, my feeble-minded friend, were twenty seconds from either squeezing the air from my lungs...or, even nicer....snapping my neck!!" he coughed.

"Sorry...I had a bad dream Schwenk...a real bad dream...We were being hunted by these two felines, a man and a woman! You know we tigers are precognitive...I have a terrible feeling about this! These two...they were...they were ruthless!"

"Well thank the Gods you were about to spare me that fate and kill me yourself...I know you wanted a slab of bloody meat for breakfast....I didn't know it would be me!"

Lumar sat up in bed shaking his shaggy head, "No...no Schwenk I could NEVER hurt you! You've been so good to me...you are my friend...my best friend in the whole wide world! You are my tiger brother...I don't know what got into me! I would protect you to my last dying breath--you know I would!" He gave an involuntary shiver.

"I know..." he sighed. "It was just a dream..." he lay down and pulled at Lumar's arm, urging him to do the same.

The tiger's eyes were large and luminous. "I don't know if I can go back to sleep...what if I hurt you Schwenk?"

"Then I'll kick your balls again...now don't worry. You keep me safe as well...."

After awhile Lumar settled. "Will you scratch my ears?" He asked. "It will make me feel better."
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The Darker Side of New Thundera