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My Big Fat Gargoyle Wedding	By : MelissaMaxwell Category: +G through L > Gargoyles Views: 7467 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gargoyles. Gargoyles belongs to Greg Weisman and Disney. I make no money from this story.

Chapter List
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A/N: In this universe, Mike Myers and Dana Carvey were still with /Saturday Night Live/ in 1998. I haven't decided whether or not the Austin Powers movies were ever made. Also, please forgive any mistakes I make with Latin. I speak it about as well as I do Japanese!
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"Wayne's World! Wayne's World!" blared the television. "It's party time! Excellent!" Broadway munched some popcorn as they went through the guitar rift. He offered some to Angela, who casually waved it off as she focused on the bridal magazine Fox gave her. She comfortably pillowed herself against her fiance's bulk as he ate his popcorn.
"OK!" Wayne said on TV. "Glad you could join us today. Today's episode of Wayne's World brings you the Top Ten Non-Human Babes!"
"Yeah, totally!" said Garth. "These ten schwingaliscous chicks prove that you don't have to be human to be hot!" "Top Ten!" they sang as Wayne played another guitar rift. "Non-Human Babes!" Wayne picked up a board and revealed the first name. "Number ten: Gozer from /Ghostbusters/. She's pretty low on the list as her masculine voice and flat top do were a bit of a turn off. Still, you gotta give her mad props for that bubble wrap outfit."
"I dunno." said Garth. "She kinda scares me. Number nine!" Garth revealed the name. "Smurfette from /The Smurfs/. Yeah, she's flat, but she's kinda cute with her long blond hair and that sassy white dress."
"But ponder this, Garth." said Wayne. "Smurfette is the only female in a village of 100 males. Imagine how busy she is on a Friday night!"
"Well, there is that one gay Smurf with the flower on his hat." Garth pointed out.
"But, we digest." said Wayne. "Moving right along to number eight, Arcee from /Transformers/. She's supposedly a robot, and thus genderless. However, as you can see here," Wayne held up a picture of the pink and white Transformer. "She's sporting high heels and what can only be called major boobage. No machinery should be this hot."
"Number seven!" Garth revealed the name. "Bugs Bunny Whenever He Put On A Dress And Pretended To Be A Girl Bunny!" Wayne just stared at Garth incredulously for a moment. "What?" asked Garth. Wayne just shook his head and went to the next name on the list.
"Number six, Ariel from /The Little Mermaid/. Seriously, I have no idea how one would go about doin' the do with a mermaid, but Ariel makes it look like it would be fun to try!"
"I thought that scene where she wiggles her toes was pretty cute." said Garth.
"Ah, remember, Garth!" said Wayne. "Top Ten NON-Human babes."
"Right." Garth went to the next name. "Number five, Gadget from /Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers/. No one can make coveralls look hot better than that sweet little mouse chick! She can give a dog a bone!"
"Shah!" Wayne said in agreement. "Number four, Oola from /Return of the Jedi/. Let's just say she satisfied my Rancor!"
"They should call her 'Oola-la!" said Garth. "Number three, Counselor Deanna Troi from /Star Trek: The Next Generation/. You gotta love a babe who knows exactly what you're thinking."
"Number two," said Wayne. "Storm of the X-Men. She can roll my thunder any day! And the number one Non-Human Babe is...." Garth imitated a drum roll as Wayne revealed the winner. "That Cute Purple Gargoyle Babe!"
"Hey, Angela!" said Broadway. "They're talking about you on SNL!"
"What?" She sat up and laid aside the magazine. Wayne was holding up a blown up photo of Angela leaving the then recently destroyed clock tower, a now iconic image thanks to the media. This version of the photo centered on Angela.
"Look at her!" said Wayne. "She's a total fox! Castaway's a complete tool for wanting to destroy this!"
"Got that right." said Broadway.
"I wonder though," said Garth. "What is she wearing under that skirt? I mean, if she were flying around and someone looked up...total tent pole city!"
"Hey, what /do/ you wear under that?" teased Broadway as Angela silently fumed.
"Shah." said Wayne. "The only drawback to this hotness is the other purple gargoyle. The big dude who looks like a pro wrestler with wings." He showed a picture of Goliath. "Since they're both purple, there's a good chance this might be her dad! Can you imagine the awkward talk you'd have with this dude if you wanted to date his daughter?"
"Never really had that problem myself." Broadway mentioned.
"Oh, I'm sure I could reasonably explain to him my perfectly pure intentions I have for his daughter." said Garth. "Not!"
"But, be as it may." Wayne tossed aside the pic of Goliath. "The Purple Gargoyle Babe is of undeniable hotness and deserves two schwings up!" Wayne and Garth thrust their pelvises. "Scha-wing!" they said.
"Oh, that is disgusting!" said Angela.
"It's a compliment!" said Broadway. "Look, you made the top of their Top 10 list! Aren't you proud?"
"Not really. Bugs Bunny made the list too."
"Only when he cross-dresses." Broadway tossed a piece of popcorn in the air and caught it in his mouth. "SNL's in summer reruns right now. We must've been on patrol or something when this was first run."
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Meanwhile, across town, Demona was admiring some magical items she had in her possession. The crystal she managed to salvage from St. Damien's sparkled in her hand. With a sigh she returned it to its plush carrying case. Pity, she wouldn't be able to use it for another 59 years, when all the stars would be in alignment and the moon in the right phase. Well, what was time to an immortal? She stroked the cool, smooth surface of another item she possessed. It was a replica of a gargoyle egg, with an off-white shell speckled with purple, but the size of a hen's egg. This item had cost her great effort and expense. Still, it would be worth it. If the Egg of Imprinting did as it would, Demona at least would have an ally to keep her company until she could destroy humanity once and for all. She picked up her most recently added magic item, one she made herself. It was, at first glance an ordinary hand mirror with an ornate silver frame. The enchantment Demona put on it made it a scrying mirror that would show her what she wanted if she said the encantation. She had already used the mirror a few times. Enough to know that Goliath's clan had grown. Coldstone and his mate had joined with them. Demona hoped they realized they wouldn't be alive if not for her. (They wouldn't have been dead to begin with if not for her, but that was something she decided not to quibble about.) Brooklyn had used the Phoenix Gate, now disappeared forever (rats) and was older, a more mature and seasoned warrior if missing an eye. He now had a mate and two hatchlings. Pity. They were so young and innocent, and were going to be brainwashed by that idiot Goliath into thinking humans could be their friends. Demona had toyed with the idea of using the Egg of Imprinting on that sweet, innocent young male hatchling (she hadn't been peeking in that often) but, decided that Angela's capabilities were more useful for the cause. It was unfortunate. There was another one, English stock if the fur was any indication, who seemed rather cozy with Lexington. Maybe, just maybe, they could see things her way. Surely the way humans treated homosexuals of their own kind could convince them how futile Goliath's attempts at peace were.
Demona gazed into the mirror. "Ostenditi mihi quis volo plurimus vidir!" she demanded. Her reflection faded away, revealing Angela cuddled up with Broadway, showing him something in a magazine. The cover of the magazine showed a human woman in a white wedding dress....a bridal magazine? Surely her daughter wasn't planning to...they were kissing. Angela was taking that fat, stupid oaf as a mate? And planning it in human fashion on top of it?
Angela was standing up now, rolling up the magazine and tucking it into her belt. She was saying something to Broadway. (Unfortunately, scrying mirrors didn't have audio.) She gave him a kiss on the cheek and went outside on the terrace. As Angela was what she most wanted to see, the view in the mirror followed her every move. Angela climbed up onto the parapet and fell into a graceful swan dive, unfurling her wings to catch the air. Demona watched her daughter glide over the city. Her long, sable hair fluttered in the wind. Her lithe limbs balanced her just so. And then there was that beatific smile on her face. Demona's appreciation of her daughter's smile was tainted by the fact that she was smiling for all the wrong reasons. Didn't she know how much danger she was in? Didn't she know her human friends would turn on her in a second? Did she really expect that great bloated idiot to be of any help to her? Didn't she know she could do better? Demona would just have to show her, teach her the error of her ways as any good rookery parent would.
Angela landed near the window of an apartment and easily slipped inside. The interior of the apartment was modest, but tasteful. A large, smokey gray cat approached Angela with its tail straight up. A small, white kitten lounged on top of the sofa as if it hadn't heard her come in. Angela picked up the gray cat and stroked it while calling for someone. Demona's eyes flashed red when she saw who answered. That human! Elisa Maza. She seemed happy to see Angela and had a spatula in hand. They chatted a while before Elisa left and Angela set the cat aside to put up a pair of TV trays in front of the couch. The cat was right back in her lap as she sat down and turned on the TV. David Duchovny seemed perturbed by a male exotic dancer. Credits rolled as David Duchovny and a host of other odd humans waved good-bye to their live studio audience. Angela turned off the TV and walked away for a moment. When she returned, she and that human had plates of food and drinks. Elisa sat down a small dish of cat food that the cat and kitten ran for. Demona grit her teeth and watched her daughter eat a hamburger and chat amicably with a human. Angela paused in eating to show Elisa the magazine. Elisa looked at it and made some comment that made Angela laugh. They both looked over the magazine together. Demona had to put the mirror down when she saw Elisa's arm go around Angela's shoulders. It was bad enough that human whore stole her mate. Did she have to steal her daughter as well? Demona swallowed her tears and fixed herself in grim resolve. She would save her daughter if she couldn't save any other gargoyle. No matter what. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What are you doing?" Lexington asked, peeking up from his laptop.
"Nothing." Staghart said innocently, putting his hands behind his back.
"You were scratching your arm again."
"Well, the fur's growing back and it itches!"
"Remember last night, Amp? You scratched yourself until you bled."
"My talons slipped. I'll be careful and just use my knuckles this time."
"Why not try putting your mind on something else?"
"Right. I'll try that. Thinking of something else." Staghart was quiet for all of five seconds before he started scratching furiously at his arm again.
"Break the skin again and I'll put mittens on you." Lexington warned.
"Understood, Mummy." He rubbed at the spot where the fur was starting to grow back. "Damn, that itches!"
"Life is hard, Amp."
"What are you looking at anyway? More furry porn?"
"I told you, that was an accident!" Lex said, blushing. "I'm just updating the guest list for the wedding. Good thing we got lots of room in this castle. Dingo and Robyn are still on their honeymoon in Tokyo, but Yama, Fang and their mates are coming along with Matrix."
"Oh, joy. Fang." sighed Staghart.
"Try not to punch him, will you hon?"
"I'll try."
"Vinnie's gonna make it." Lex continued, looking at the list. "So will the entire Maza family. Burbank, Malibu and Delilah are all coming. Hollywood's on probation, but I don't know if he'll be showing. And then there's all 35 gargoyles from Avalon plus Tom and Katherine. You decided which gargoyles from the London clan you want to invite, Amp? Amp?"
"Yeah, I heard you." Staghart was focused on rubbing his itching arm against the arm of the sofa they had been sitting on.
"And I'm thinking of inviting the New York Knicks." Lex continued in the same conversational tone. "Maybe see if Woody and Soon-Yi are busy that night."
"Great idea." Staghart continued to try to scratch his itch without making it look like he was scratching.
"Staghart!" That got his attention. Lex smiled and closed his laptop. "Would you like me to do something to get your mind of your arm?"
"What do you have in mind?" Lex laid the laptop on the coffee table.
"Well, we could start with a bit of this...." He crawled seductively into Staghart's lap. "And go on to this...." Lexington nuzzled the side of Staghart's neck.
"That's a good start." said Staghart, running hands over Lex's shoulders and back. Nibbling kisses made their way up Staghart's neck and up to his ear, the one with the piercing. Lex lightly kissed the bare skin, causing Staghart to gasp and shudder. Lex took that moment to press his beloved down on the couch. He continued to kiss him as his hands found the snap that held Staghart's garment together. After a little grasping and wiggling, he managed to get him stripped. Lex undid the buckle to his belt and soon tossed his loincloth to the floor along with Staghart's garment. Lex thrust himself against Staghart, making their cocks rub together, making them both grunt at how good the contact felt. Staghart grabbed the buttocks on either side of Lex's tail and started to undulate."You feel so good against me." Staghart whispered, letting a wing wrap around Lex. Lex shivered and sighed at the feeling of all those feathers sensuously running down his back. He thrust harder, grunting with exertion. Lex let his hand slide down to the two cocks, squeezing them both together. "Amp, you're leaking." he gasped, letting a thumb slide over the tip of his lover's penis. The snow white arms and wings wrapped around Lex, pulling him down against that firm, furry body. They were moving together, feeling each others' warmth all along their bodies.
"It's so good!" gasped Lex. "Do you like it, Amp? Does it feel good?"
"Oh, Yeah!" Staghart gasped as he bucked under his lover. "So good Lex!"
Lex thrust harder, letting his tail caress Amp's knees and thighs as he kissed and nibbled the broad neck, wondering briefly if he'd cough up hairballs later. He groaned as the thrusting became faster, driving him closer to the edge.
"Are you going to cum, love?" Staghart asked. "Cum for me, Lex. Cum on me. I want to feel it."
"I...oh...oh, Amp...this is....Oh, God, here it comes!"
"Now, baby! Now!" They both clutched and grinded at each other and moaned as their orgasms peaked, their cum splashing and mingling. Lex went limp across Amp's sturdy body. Amp held his lover close, nuzzling his scalp as he cocooned him with his wings. "That was wonderful, love."
Lex hummed with pleasure and stretched against Amp's body. "Now that I have your attention." he said with a smile. "Who from London do you want at the wedding?"
"Well, I'd like all of my younger siblings to show up. The 24 in Lunette's generation. Could we make her a junior bridesmaid or flower girl or something? She's very special to me."
"Sure." said Lex, nestling close to his love.
"She was the first hatchling I got to hold. I remember the day she hatched. I was young myself. The night I was told the eggs were hatching, I was playing in the sandpit with /Star Wars/ figures."
"Amp? You were in the sandbox playing with /Star Wars/ toys this evening."
"That's different! I was...uh...just entertaining Alex. I taught him a new word today. I taught him to say 'Wookie'. Tried teaching him to say 'Millenium Falcon', but it was a bit much for him."
Lex giggled a bit and toyed with the fur on Amp's chest. "Anyone else?"
"Coco, of course. I want her to stand by me at the ceremony. Can a groom have a bridesmaid?
Guess she'd be a groomsmaid. Or best lady, or...something."
"I think the gender neutral term is 'honor attendant'."
"And Ayala will be there. I promised her long ago that I'd save her a dance if I ever married. If they're not busy, Griff and King Arthur could come."
"Great. We'll have a king and a princess attending."
"And I'd invite Castor and Pollux. Those brothers of mine are crazy, but at least they keep things from getting dull."
"Yeah." laughed Lex. "We wouldn't want want our wedding to be dull."
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My Big Fat Gargoyle Wedding