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Dethklok Hero	By : drowsteel Category: +M through R > Metalocalypse > Crossover Views: 1567 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Metalocalypse, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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“Women are here to see you, my lords,” announced a hooded servant.

“Goils?” Toki hopped off of the dance pad he’d been using. “To see me?”

“Ummm, he said to see ‘us’, Toki,” Murderface corrected. “They’re probably here to see me, not you.”

Skwisgaar raised his eyesbrows as he tapped the frets on his Gibson.

“What’s makes you think they’re here for you?” he snapped. “Girls is always here to see me!”

“Actually, they don’t do that, really, Skwisgaar,” Pickles smirked. “You bring ‘em back with you, or you make out with ‘em while they’re stoned. Usually they don’t come right to your room.”

“This is true,” Skwisgaar admitted.

The band stayed staring at each other for five minutes in silence.

“So, uh, I guess we could have them come in here,” Pickles suggested.

“Oh, yeah!”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

“Yes, show’s them ins!”

“Goils!”

The servant left.

“We don’t get many visitors,” Nathan pointed out.

“We dont’s want them,” Skwisgaar answered. “They tends to be huge idiots.”

“Yeah, they’re pretty lame,” Murderface agreed. “Remember that goddamn clown-face that always used to come around here?”

Everyone groaned at the memory, except Toki. He scowled.

A trio of women came in, each holding guitars.

“Wow-wee!” Toki smiled.

The first girl was wearing a camouflage skirt with a spaghetti-strap top. Her dyed purple hair framed her sneering face well. Her guitar was shaped like a rocket spearing a crescent moon.

The second wore leather pants and a belly shirt. Her blonde hair was in a ponytail, and in her hands was a guitar shaped like a viking woman.

The third girl was brightly smiling and brightly dressed. She was asian, with neon green hair and a pink skirt with a red bra-style top. Her guitar was a Gibson Flying V.

“Hey, I know you!” Pickles pointed at the blonde. “You’re Casey Lynch! I saw you kick Peter Frampton in the balls three years ago.”

“Hey, Pickles,” Casey waved nonchalantly. “I remember you headbutting Brett Michaels that day.”

“Yeah, uh...” Nathan snapped his fingers and pointed at the asian girl. “You’re Midori somethingorother...I remember seeing you in a magazine about musical geniuses.”

“I remember seeing you in a magazine about alcoholics,” Midori smiled.

“Yeah. I agreed to the interview as long as they kept supplying the shots. It’s kind of a...what do you call it...conflict of interest for them.”

“And you must beeeeeeee....” Murderface sidled up to the last girl, putting an arm around her. “...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....”

He stared at her. She glared at him.

“...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...”

Murderface took a breath.

“...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...”

“Motherfucking JUDY NAILS!” Judy twisted Murderface’s arm behind him and grabbed him by the throat with her other hand.

“Wow-wee! I remember getting your Punkagothic Rockabillica import CD back in Norway!” Toki beamed.

“No kidding?” Judy looked at Toki, still choking Murderface.

“That’s the most metals lady I’s ever seens,” Skwisgaar said.

“Yeah,” Nathan agreed. “Murderface looks like his eye is gonna fall out of the socket again.”

With a final squeeze Judy released Murderface, now red as a tomato.

“What the fuck was that?!” He pushed his oddly protruding eye back in. “Jeez, you’d think I was hitting on a crazy bitch...oh, wait, I WAS!”

Seeing Judy getting ready to grab him again, Murderface backed away.

“So, uh, what’re you chicks doin’ here?” Pickles asked.

Midori played scales on her guitar with startling speed.

“A challenge between guitar heroes,” Casey answered.

“To decide whose legend will live forever,” Judy finished.

Skwisgaar blinked. “Is you joking?” he chuckled. “My legend’s alsready is living forever. I’s the fastest guitar player ever.”

“Yeah, and I has my own legend, too,” Toki chimed in.

“No you don’t, Toki,” Skwisgaar looked at him. Toki glared back.

“Being fast isn’t all there is,” Judy leaned in to sneer in Skwisgaar’s face.

“A lot of ladies like it sssssllllooooowwww,” Casey smiled and stroked her guitar suggestively.

“That’s is arousing,” Skwisgaar commented. “But you shoulds gain some weight. You look like that guy...from the movie...where he lost all the weight...Tom Hanks!”

Everyone stared at Skwisgaar.

Pickles coughed. “Uh...sure, there, Skwisgaar.”

“So what’s this contest?” Toki asked. “Does it mean we gets to spend time with you goils?”

Midori gave him a shy wave.

“Winner gains power over the loser,” Casey said simply. “If you wanted, you could strip us naked and torture us on the rack.”

“That’s brutal,” Nathan said.

“Wow,” Pickles looked at Judy. “So, what would you do to them if you won?”

“I might eat them alive,” Judy purred.

“I’lls do it!” Toki said eagerly.

Skwisgaar rolled his eyes and sighed heavilly. “I guess I has to do it, too’s. Toki’s would just embarrassk himself out there.”

“Sweet,” Casey said. “Ofdensen will arrange a venue.”
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