Fearsome Cindy MacPherson | By : drowsteel Category: +1 through F > Boondocks, The Views: 11277 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Boondocks, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
“Whaddup, playa?” Cindy MacPherson squealed as she darted up behind Riley.
Riley’s scowl deepened. He tried to make sure he scowled between 90-95% of the time anyway, but when a giggling white girl chases you down, a little extra didn’t hurt.
“So, like, are you into the Three Six Mafia?” Cindy had no idea that there were times black males didn’t scowl. “I totally am. Holla!”
“Naw,” Riley said, trying to walk faster. “I’m in Thugnificent’s crew, an’ he gots a beef with Juicy J.” Riley paused, turning menacingly to Cindy. “So any hoes wit’ Three 6 is just bitches to me.”
Cindy squealed with delight. “That is so cool!” She leaned forward “come on! Let me be a ‘ho with your crew.”
“Naw,” Riley tried to lose Cindy again, but she kept up with him. “You a bitch.”
“Straight up, yo!” Cindy nodded happily. “Come onnnnnnnn! Let me be your bitch, Riley!”
“Naw!”
From a few paces behind them, Huey and Jazmine walked together.
“Do you think they’re bofriend and girlfriend now?” Jazmine asked.
Huey sighed. “I think we’re witnessing the suburban white youth’s infatuation with a destructive stereotype.”
Jazmine blinked. “Oh,” she paused. “I really like you, Huey,” she said.
Huey sighed again.
“I’m real high-class trim!” Cindy protested, still following Riley. “Just introduce me to Thugnificent!”
“He don’t like little girls!” Riley snapped. “He want bitches who can DO things fo’ him, you know?”
“I can totally do that!” Cindy said. “Come over to my house, I’ll prove it!”
“You got Cristal in the fridge?” Riley asked, slowing down.
“Yeah!” Cindy could tell she’d gotten Riley’s interest.
“You got caviar?”
“Uh-huh!” Cindy nodded.
“You got Playstation?”
“We’ve got a PS3!” Cindy squealed. “And a 360! And a Wii!”
“Wii’s ghetto,” Riley sneered.
“Yeah!” Cindy nodded. “We’s totally ghetto!”
“Fine, ‘ho,” Riley said. “I let you show me what you got to offer.”
“Mom!” Cindy called out as they walked through the door to her house. “That guy from the basketball game is with me! I need caviar and Cristal!”
“It’s in the fridge,” came a voice from upstairs.
“Let’s get the stuff and go to my room,” Cindy sauggested.
“Bitch, you get it and meet me back here,” Riley scowled.
Cindy’s eyes sparkled. “That is SOOOooooo gangsta!” She dashed into the kitchen and returned with a covered bowl and a bottle. “Come on!” she led Riley to her room.
Her room was full of electronics. Cindy had a plasma TV, lots of game consoles, a big stereo, a Macintosh with wireless internet, and so on. Riley scowled harder, so he wouldn’t look impressed. “What, y’aint got no fridge in here?”
“I do!” Cindy rushed over to her bed and opened what looked like a drawer. “It’s built into the bed.”
“S’aright, then,” Riley said, flopping down in one of the bean bag chairs in front of the TV. “Turn on the TV and put Madden in the Playstation.”
Cindy set down the champagne and caviar on a wheeled table and dashed over to the Playstation 3. As she bent over to put the game in, Cindy unknowingly flashed her panties at Riley. He looked at her shapely, athletic butt. It was a lot more round than he’d heard white girls’ butts were.
Riley picked up the game controller. “Open the Cristal and get me some caviar,” he demanded. “And put some damn music on!”
With a remote, Cindy activated her stereo. “Booty Butt Cheeks” started playing.
“Uhhh...how do I open this?” She asked, looking at the champagne.
“Man, don’t you even know how to open Cristal?” Riley sneered.
“No,” Cindy blushed. “Do you?”
Crap, Riley thought. “I ain’t tellin’ you.”
Cindy blinked. Well, she thought, how hard can it be? Probably just take the foil off the top.
After the foil was off, there was still a little wire system holding the cork in place. Cindy tried to pull it off, and was having a hard time. She tried forcing it.
“Is...unf! Is this right?” Cindy asked. Riley started to turn to look.
POW!
The cork exploded out of the bottle, sounding like a tiny cannon aimed at Riley’s face. To Riley, it was just a sudden flash right before the lights went out.
Cindy squeaked as Riley crashed unconscious to the ground and champagne spurted out of the bottle. Trying to wake Riley, she slapped him on the cheek. The foam on her other hand was startling, and Cindy put her mouth on the bottle to catch the excess.
It gave Cindy an idea.
“Have you ever had a girlfriend?” Jazmine asked.
“A couple, I guess,” Huey answered. He’d had friends who were girls.
“Oh,” Jazmine was quiet for a second. “Do you have one now?”
“Just you,” Huey didn’t know what he was saying until after he’d said it. He opened his mouth to amend the statement.
“REALLY?” Jazmine’s face lit up, looking happier than Huey had ever seen her.
Huey closed his mouth. Let her think what she wants.
Riley’s whole face throbbed. His eyes had both blackened like he’d been punched. His memory slowly came back to him as he realized he was on a pink bedspread.
“DAMN!” Riley sat up quickly and clutched his face in pain. “OW! Bitch, you tried to kill me!”
“Quiet, ‘ho,” Cindy said. She’d changed clothes, now dressed in pink wide leg pants, a white tank top, aviator sunglasses, and a pink bandanna.
“Nigga what?” Riley was torn between confusion, anger, and pain.
With her remote, Cindy activated a slideshow on her Mac. Pictures of her dressed in her current outfit scrolled past, most of them involving her either drinking right from the Cristal bottle, smacking Riley, holding Riley victoriously like a conquered opponent, or a combination of those acts.
Riley’s mouth fell open. “What the fuck?! Bitch, what did you do?!”
Cindy looked at the screen, which currently had a picture of her standing over Riley, holding his penis while drinking champagne.
“You’re my bitch now,” Cindy said. “I got the pictures to prove it. So you be a good ‘ho and I won’t email Thugnificent.”
“Y-y-y-y-you...” Riley stammered. Unable to control himself, tears started to form in his eyes. “YOU’S A BITCH!” He raced out of Cindy’s room and out of the house.
Cindy folded her arms. “Nope, you’s a bitch,” she smiled. She’d decided it was definitely better to not be the bitch in a relationship.
Jazmine and Huey stopped in front of the Freeman house.
“Well, I guess you better go see your parents,” Huey prompted before turning to go inside.
“You could kiss me, if you want,” Jazmine said.
Huey sighed, his hand on the front door. It had been a mistake to not correct this mistake right away. He turned around to break the news.
Jazmine’s eyes were closed, and she was leaning forward with her lips just slightly parted. Her delicate hands were clasped to her chest. She looked so sweet, and so innocent.
Huey blushed.
Let her think what she wants, Huey decided after a second. He leaned in and pressed his lips softly against Jazmine’s, closing his eyes. They stayed that way for a while, parting slowly and both blushing.
“Y’ALL NIGGAS IS GAY!” Riley roared at them, storming past them into the house. The other kids stared after him.
A little fearfully, Jazmine asked “we’re not...gay, are we?”
Huey sighed.
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