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Lisa the Time Bomb	By : Jayrich Category: +S through Z > Simpsons Views: 14633 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Simpsons, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Lisa the Time Bomb
- 1
Lisa the Time Bomb

“AH! What a beautiful morning!”

Lisa sits up in her bed, ready to bring in the day…one of the most important days of her life. As her eyes adjust to the morning sun beaming through the window, she glances at her to-do list on the side of her bed. 4 things are marked down, all in order. 1. Give a speech at the MENSA luncheon. 2. Perform a Jazz Ballad for Tokyo representatives to welcome them to Springfield. 3. Mail her academic application to Princeton, so she can get in…and the last one, 4. The one that she dreads doing the most.

“Oh, why did I have to schedule it for today?” She asks herself.

“Because you’re a big Brainiac with a big butt?” Lisa looks over to see her brother standing in the doorway, Bart Simpson.

“Not now, Bart.” She replies. “It’s gonna be a rough day today, and I have to ready myself mentally so that I can give my speech soon.”

“You mean the speech you’re supposed to give in 15 minutes?” Bart says with a smirk, pointing at Lisa’s alarm clock. She notices the time is 11:45am, and she’s gotta be on the other side of town in 14 minutes & 51 seconds.

“GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! YOU’RE RIGHT!” She screams, hoping out of bed & running to her closet to get her clothes. “BART! WHY DIDN’T YOU WAKE ME UP???”

“And miss the fun of you scrambling around like a crazy person?” He says. “Do you even know me?”

Lisa growls and clenches her fist, wanting to strangle Bart much like Homer does on a daily basis. But she doesn’t have the time. Anticipating her possible lateness, she grabs her red blouse and puts it on, then goes for her Khaki Capri pants. She finishes dressing by putting on her red sandals. Grabbing her purse off of her nightstand, she dashes out of her room, bowling over Bart along the way. As she turns the corner and dashes down the stairs, she sees her mother, Marge, waiting with a sheet of paper.

“Here’s your speech, dear!” Marge says, also anticipating Lisa would be in a rush.

“Thanks, mom!” Lisa answers, grabbing the sheet and still going at full speed. But her momentum stops once she opens the front door and notices that not one, but both of the family cars are out of the garage. “GAAAAAAAAHH!!! Where are the cars?”

“Oh, sorry Lisa.” Marge says. “But your father needed the Sedan to get to the Nuclear Plant.”

“And the Station Wagon?” Lisa inquires.

“It hasn’t been found since your father tries to jump over Springfield Gorge with it.” Marge tells her. Immediately, Lisa begins to panic. Frustration & stress build up inside of her. So much so that a small ticking can be heard in her head, almost like it’s signaling a countdown to when she could lose it. But she keeps it together, at least long enough to see Otto driving down the street in his School Bus. She flags him down and gets him to stop.

“OTTO! I need you to drop me off at the Springfield MENSA Club. PLEASE!” She pleads.

“Well, I was just gonna pop wheelies at the Bus Lot but, Come on little Dudette!” He says, inviting her on. He then straps on his seatbelt and grabs the stick shift, causing Lisa to question this decision.

“I wonder if it was the right call to ask Otto…AAAACCKKKK!!!!!!” She’s sent to the floor as Otto floors it. The Bus burns rubber down the road, doing speeds that would make NASCAR drivers wet themselves. Lisa pulls herself up off the floor and hops into the nearest seat. She buckles her seatbelt, now remembering just how dangerous Otto’s driving can be. Within 2 minutes, they’re now in Downtown Springfield…and causing panic in the streets.

“WHOA! Who knew Downtown Springfield was so crowded before Lunch?” Otto asks, maneuvering around cars & pedestrians alike. Lisa’s rage has now been subsided, and is replaced by blinding fear. Which only rises when she notices the bridge they’re approaching is up.

“OTTO! LOOK OUT!!!” She screams.

“Don’t worry, little Dudette!” He says. “Time to put the pedal to the metal!” And that’s exactly what he does, going full speed. The Bus banks onto the bridge like a ramp and flies off like a skateboard. As it soars through the wild blue yonder, Lisa nervously looks out of the window. She can see the entire town, even her house. She then notices the Springfield MENSA Club, where she needs to be…and where Otto is about to land. Luckily, the wind blows hard enough to stop them short, and the Bus lands & tumbles, coming to a stop at the front door of the club. A moment later, Springfield High’s Principal Seymour Skinner and Lindsey Naegle rush out through the doors to see Lisa stumbling off the Bus.

“What in the name of Hans Moleman is going on?” Skinner asks.

“I…made it, Principal Skinner.” Lisa says, still feeling dazed from the crash. “With…two minutes…to spare.”

“Yes, I agree. You are very prompt.” He agrees. “But…”

“Oh forget it, Skinner.” Lindsey says. “She’s here, so lets just start this speech!”

The two escort Lisa into the building and into the main hall, where dozens of MENSA members are sitting, waiting to hear her speech. Even Steven Hawking (the world’s smartest man) is in attendance, sitting front row. Lisa steps onto the stage and approaches the podium. She straightens herself up and clears her throat, ready to address everyone.

“My fellow MENSA members, it is an honor to address you on this day.” She starts off. “As you know, I have several theories I would like to inform you about, but first I would like to start off with a little poem I remember from my Childhood. It goes…Lisa is a Nut, she has a rubber butt. Everytime she eats some beans it goes putt, putt?”

It’s at this moment that she recognizes that the paper doesn’t have her handwriting, but the handwriting of another Simpson. “BAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRTTTT!!!!!”

The audience begins to dispute Lisa’s speech, at least until Steven Hawking speaks out. “I believe there is some merit to the young woman’s pronouncement.” He says. “Certain attributes in the Human Buttocks could lead us to discover that it may have some traits of rubber.”

“Oh come on, Hawking.” Dr. Hibbert interrupts. “Now being a Physician nearly most of my life, I can clearly say that there are no traits of rubber in the Human Butt!”

“Oh yeah?” Hawking replies. “Your Mama!”

THWACK!!!

A sucker punch by Dr. Hibbert sparks an all-out riot in the room, and shocks Lisa. Every intellect in Springfield is now going at it like wild dogs, without mercy. And even above all of the battlecries & loud cursing, one voice is heard standing out.

“OOOIEEE, MY GLAYVIN!!! WHY WOULD THEY HIT ME IN THE GLAYVIN???!!!”

Not wanting to take the chance that Lisa gets caught in the middle, Lindsey & Seymour huddle around her and lead her back out towards the exit.

“This is the Arbor Day Picnic all over again.” Seymour says, shaking his head in shame. All the while, the ticking appears back in Lisa’s head, as she struggles to keep her sanity in the sea of intellectual madness.

2 Hours Later…

After getting a much safer ride from Skinner, Lisa finds herself at the Springfield Multicultural Center, where she is set for her next task of the day. Inside, 4 Tokyo representatives await a special Jazz concert to be put on by Lisa & several members of her school band. But Lisa is without her Saxophone, and she waits outside for it to be delivered, the ticking in her head starting to get louder.

“Where are you, Dad?” She says to herself. “I only have 5 minutes.”

Clearly she didn’t want to rely on her father to come through, but she had no choice. With Marge taking Maggie to her Little League game, and Bart even less trustworthy, Homer was the only “logical” choice. And her faith comes through, as she spots a light purple Sedan barreling down the road. It comes to a screeching halt right in front of Lisa, as the Driver door swings open. A moment later, Homer steps to greet his daughter.

“Daddy made it, Honey!” He says, walking around to the rear of the car. “And he remembered to bring your Saxamophone!”

He pops open the trunk and sure enough, Lisa’s Saxophone case is inside. She grabs it at opens it up, to see her Saxophone still intact. Luck is on her side. She hugs her father, grateful that he got her. “Oh thank you, Dad.” She says. “But how did you get here so quick?”

“Well, I did have to sacrifice a 126-pack of Duff to lighten the load.” He tells her. “Your father just wasn’t able to win a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Barney got Rock and I got Paper, so he crushed me.”

“Uh, Dad?” Lisa says, enlightening him. “Paper covers Rock. You were supposed to win.” At that moment, Barney drives back in a beat-up sedan, flaunting his victory & drunk as ever.

“Thanks for the win, Homer! BURRRRRRP!”

“D’OH!!!” Homer yells as Barney continues on. “Uh, gotta go honey. Good luck with your Hockey Game!”

“It’s a Concert!” She tells him, but he doesn’t listen. Instead, Homer hops back into his Sedan and pulls off after Barney.

“You gimme them beers back, you cheating Jerk!” He yells, shaking his fist out of his car window. Lisa just shakes her head and walks into the Center, ready to give her performance. Once she reaches the main hall area, she sees her friends Janey, Sherri & Terri, Alison, and Alex waiting for her on stage, along with the Mayor of Springfield, Mayor Quimby.

“I would like to thank our Tokyo representatives for joining us today.” Quimby says, as Lisa joins her friends. “And er uh now for your enjoyment…I present the Jazz Toleraters! Vote Quimby.”

“Alright, I’m here.” Lisa says, reaching into her case and pulling out the sheet music. “Sorry I’m late, but now we can wow them with our…OH NO!!!” She looks down at the sheets to see that they’re not the classical Jazz Ballads she wanted Homer to get for her. Instead, they’re hits from the 80’s. Lisa begins to panic.

“Lisa, are you OK?” Janey asks.

The ticking in Lisa’s head gets even louder, but her determination won’t let her give in. “I’m…fine.” Lisa answers with a twitch. “We’ll start the opening number with this.” She hands out the sheets to her friends so they can read. The choice of song surprises them, though.

“She Works Hard for the Money?” Sherri asks.

“Let’s just play it and get it over with!” Lisa says through her teeth, getting angrier by the moment. They take their standing positions and proceed to play the song. Lisa puts her anger to good use and plays her heart out, pouring everything into her Saxophone in a heart-filled effort. Unfortunately, the song only infuriates the Tokyo Representatives, who stand up and approach the stage.

“How DARE you play this song!” One of them says. “You dishonor us by bringing this…music to our ears. From this day forward, Tokyo will only be a sister city to Shelbyville!”

With that, the Representatives storm out of the room, followed by a whimpering & pleading Mayor Quimby. Lisa just stands there in shock. Nothing has gone her way today, and she’s about ready to break down at that very moment…and the ticking gets louder. Distraught, she walks off of the stage, dragging her Saxophone behind her, and leaves the room. Walking out of the building, she sits down on the curb and sulks, feeling her life falling apart. And it doesn’t help that Bart is rolling down the sidewalk on his Skateboard towards her.

“What up, smelly butt?” He says, being his usual insulting self.

“Not now, Bart!” She says, still upset. “The biggest day of my life is falling apart! I caused a riot at MENSA & I insulted Tokyo Representatives! What else could go wrong?”

“Well if you don’t wanna know, don’t look up.” Bart tells her. But Lisa decides to look up anyway, and gets a reminder of what the rest of the day has to hold for her.

“Hiya Lisa!” It’s Milhouse, driving in a Used Car from his father’s old Used Car Lot. Lisa begins to shudder, almost like Sideshow Bob, as she remembers that a Date with Milhouse is imminent, and unavoidable.

Later that night…

Lisa is now in the passenger’s seat of Milhouse’s new ride, as they drive towards the Springfield Drive-In. After a quick trip home, she changed into a bright red sweater with matching skirt, going for a Velma look that would make her unattractive to Milhouse. It didn’t work. Normally she would never agree to a date with Milhouse, but he’s one of the main reasons she was able to get her foot in the door at Princeton. His cousin is a Professor there, and his recommendation set her on the right track. But as part of the deal, Lisa would have to agree to go on a date with Milhouse, anytime & anyplace he wanted. The deal was made 4 years ago…and Milhouse has never forgotten.

“And here we are, Lisa.” He says, pulling into the Drive-In entrance. Stopping at the pay booth, he gives the attendant a $20 and rolls in. The movie they’re seeing tonight is ‘Bloody Mutilation 6: The Bloodier the Better’.

“Great, he must be hoping I get scared and cuddle with him.” Lisa thinks. “Bart must’ve given him the idea.”

“This is such a great idea Bart gave me!” Milhouse thinks.

As they pull into their parking spot, the previews have just ended. The opening credits begin to roll, and even the words that scroll across the screen are bloodied & butchered by an axe. Lisa is wearing a look of boredom on her face, as she watches the movie, pointing out obvious fake parts.

“The suit is fake.” She says, referring to one of the monsters. “And that is CGI.”

Milhouse isn’t focused on the movie, though. Instead, he looks around him at the many cars in the Drive-In. Most of them are rocking wildly, with their windows fogged up. Milhouse knows what’s going on in those cars, and he wants it to happen in this one. But as he gingerly tries to put his arm around Lisa’s shoulder…

“Remember the deal, Milhouse.” She says, not even turning to look at him. The deal, he remembers. The only condition that Lisa would go on a date with him is that he didn’t try any touching or feeling. So his arm goes back, not wanting this date to end quickly. Lisa, however, wishes for just that. Everything has gone wrong for her today, and she just wants to get her applications mailed off before something happens to them. But as soon as she thinks that, her Cell Phone goes off. A sense of dread fills her, and the ticking in her head becomes louder as she answers.

“Hello?”

“STUPID MONKEYS!!!”

She can tell her father’s voice is on the other line, but gets the feeling that he’s not the one who called. Her suspicion is confirmed when she hears her mother’s voice. “Lisa, I don’t mean to call you on your date but…there’s a slight problem.”

“Mom, what’s wrong?” Lisa asks.

“Well, you remember that Fish Packing business your father started?” Marge says, and Lisa remembers it very well. It’s Homer’s 75th job. “Well, we ran out of wrapping paper and…your father accidentally used your applications.”

“THAT’S IT, You monkeys are in for it now!” Homer says on the other end sounding serious. But things quickly don’t go his way. “AAAAHHHH!!!!! THE MONKEYS ARE THROWING POO!!!”

“NOO!! NOT ON THE GOOD CHINA!!!” Marge yells, before the phone conversation ends. Lisa slowly pulls the phone away from her ear, as a look of horror fills her face. Nothing in the movie could scare her more than what she just heard. The one thing that assured her getting into Princeton was now destroyed…thanks to her father.

“My…my entire work…” She says in disbelief, as the ticking in her head now becomes so loud, it’s deafening. TICK! TICK! TICK! Almost like a clock, or a Timebomb, counting down to the dreadful moment when everything becomes lost. It continues in her head, like a giant drum being pounded relentlessly. Or loud banging on a door, the same one holding back all of the stress & frustration from the day. From her entire life even. And just when she thinks the Ticking can’t get any louder…

BOOM!

The feeling of horror fades, and a far away look now resides on Lisa’s face. She drops the phone onto her lap and stares blankly out in front of her, not really focused on anything. This begins to worry Milhouse, who’s been watching her ever since she took the phone call.

“Lisa, is everything OK?” He asks. “Do you need to go home?”

Slowly, she turns her head towards Milhouse, who becomes more concerned with her. What happens next, couldn’t be predicted by even the most skilled Psychiatrists. A small grin appears on her face, and slowly begins to grow. Within moments, Milhouse watches as Lisa develops a look of seduction, aimed right at him.

“Lisa, are you OK?”

“Never better.”

Before Milhouse can even blink, Lisa springs forward and kisses him, the first kiss for either of them. She starts climbing out of her seat and onto Milhouse, burying her face into his. Moans of passion emerge from her mouth as she straddles Milhouse in the driver’s seat. After a full minute of lip locking, Milhouse has to push her away just to catch his breath.

“LISA!!” He says, in total shock of this situation. “Wha…what are you doing? What about the deal?”

“Screw the Deal!” She replies. “And Screw Me!” She continues with the makeout session, wrapping her arms around Milhouse to keep him close. It’s really unnecessary though, because Milhouse would die a thousand deaths before stopping this moment. He can feel Lisa grinding herself against him. Whatever happened to her, whatever was said on the phone that turned her into this, Milhouse is thinking just one thing.

“MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!!!”

Lisa continues to press forward; so much that Milhouse can feel her hardening nipples through their clothes on his chest. Eventually, the car seat gives way & Milhouse is put on his back, with Lisa on top of him (another dream of his). Lisa breaks the kiss and looks down at him.

“Let’s take this action to the backseat.” She suggests.

Those words cause Milhouse to scramble to the back, with Lisa chasing right after him. She roughly starts to pry off his pants, ripping the belt and pulling them down, along with his boxers to reveal his hardening Cock. Without hesitation, she engulfs it into her mouth, not caring how big it is (larger than advertised for Milhouse). Her loud slurps & sucks fill up the car, and nearly give Milhouse a heart attack.

“Oh, man! Lisa’s a pro at this.” He thinks. “She must’ve had practice with cucumbers or something.”

Milhouse is closer to the truth than he knows. Lisa has practiced on cucumbers, thanks to a Truth or Dare game at a sleepover several months back. She keeps both hands on his crotch, gripping his pipe with one hand & holding his balls with the other. Her head movements are hurried, as she doesn’t waste time with going slow. Soon, Milhouse begins to feel a tingling sensation. He’s masturbated enough times to know what it is, and tries to warn Lisa.

“Lisa…if you don’t stop…I’m gonna cum…in your…”

Unfortunately, he can’t finish the sentence in time. Lisa’s tongue work unleashes a stream of semen that shoots straight into her mouth. She stops her movement, and Milhouse begins fearing for the worst. He believes he ruined the moment, but is proven wrong when Lisa swallows his load in one gulp.

“L-L-Lisa…did you just…” Milhouse gets his answer when she sits up and nods her head yes.

“And I want more.”

Hiking up her red skirt, she pulls of her white cotton panties and tosses them in the front seat. She then climbs back on top of Milhouse, wrapping her legs around him as he positions his stiff Rod for entry. Once in position, Milhouse begins to have second thoughts about this.

“Hey, L-Lisa.” He says, feeling nervous. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

He gets his response when she kisses him, running her tongue into his mouth. It’s more than enough motivation for him to push on through, as he moves forward and pushes his pipe through her love lips, and deep inside of her.

“OH, YEAH! THAT’S IT!!!” She says, reveling in the pleasure.

“HOLY CRAP, I’m…I’m inside of Lisa!” Milhouse thinks, realizing his one true dream is now reality. The entire moment is almost too much for him to handle. “I…I think…I’m gonna pass out.”

Lisa notices him starting to waver, and urges him to continue. “No, Milhouse. Stay awake.” She tells him, turning his head to hers to that their eyes meet. “I want you to fuck me. Give it to me, as hard as you can.” She presses her lips to his again, as he legs tighten around him. Milhouse does as instructed and works up a slow stroke, pulling in & out of her at a steady rate. Breaking the kiss, Milhouse’s focus is directed lower. He pulls up her sweater, surprisingly revealing no bra, and bare yellow round breasts. He wraps his mouth around her nipples, as Lisa begins to ride his Cock. After minutes of sucking, he removes his mouth from her bosom.

“Lisa, this is like a dream come true.” Milhouse declares, wrapping his arms around her hips. “For years I’ve dreamed of this moment, and I…”

“Just shut up & Fuck me, Milhouse.” She orders, wanting more. Milhouse is eager to please, and rolls over so that Lisa is on her back. He begins drilling into her with all of his might, making her moan out with each thrust. He holds up her legs, clearing a way to her snatch as he drills her balls deep. The entire rent-a-car is now rocking back & forth, and the windows are so fogged up, nothing is visible outside. Even Milhouse’s glasses are foggy, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Lisa. She reaches up and takes them off, looking at his true eyes. The car is now turning into a makeshift sauna, with both of them pouring down sweat. Milhouse continues to pound her pussy for minutes on end, what seems like an eternity for the two, until he feels the same tingling as he did earlier. Lisa starts feeling herself approaching her limit also.

“Oh! OH! OH YEAH…OH BUDDHA I’M GONNA…AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

She experiences her first orgasm ever, and it’s a doozy. A moment later Milhouse experiences his. He pulls out of her and sprays his load in between her legs & her thighs. Exhausted from the impromptu sex-fest, he falls down beside Lisa, who rolls over and wraps her arm around them. The movie outside has just gone off, but neither of them care at the moment. And they’re too tired to even notice, as the drift off to sleep.

The Next Morning…

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

Lisa wakes from her slumber in a cold sweat, only to find herself back in her room, in her own bed. It takes a moment, but all of the events from yesterday come flooding back into her mind. “The…the concert. The MENSA meeting. My applications! All of it…” The anger also comes flooding back, and it doesn’t help that her brother is the first one to greet her.

“GOOOOOD MORNING, BRAINIAC!!!” He says, walking into her room.

“BAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!” She leaps out of bed & begins to choke him mercilessly, just like her father. Bart responds in kind, choking his sister to get her to stop. She finally does when she realizes it will do no good anyway.

“Oh what’s the point?” She says, ready to break into tears. “My life is ruined! Everything is over! I’m going to end up having a dead-end job at the Krusty Burger. Or worse, I’ll get a scholarship to Indiana University!”

“Geez, mellow much?” Bart says, being sarcastic as he sits on the bed beside her. “I wouldn’t say your whole life is ruined, Lees.”

“What are you talking about?” Lisa counters. “I caused a riot at MENSA!”

“Lisa, that’s a weekly occurrence.” Bart tells her. “Remember when Comic Book Guy argued with Professor Frink over who was stronger, Radioactive Man or the Hulk?”

Lisa remembers. That riot spilled out into half the town. 18 people were injured. “But…I insulted the Tokyo representatives!”

“Funny story.” Bart says. “They called back here earlier to apologize. They thought you were playing a Diana Ross song. For some reason, the Japanese really hate her.”

“Yeah, but…I…I…” She leans over to Bart & whispers it in his ear, wanting to make sure no one else hears what she about to say. “I had sex with Milhouse.”

“HAW-HAW!!!” The two turn to the window to see Nelson sitting on a branch outside, listening to the conversation. “You had sex with another Nerd!” Lisa groans, knowing that her secret will now spread wider that Nelson knows. Nelson jumps down and leaves the brother & sister to themselves.

“I mean I practically raped him.” She continues. “I was domineering and bossy, telling him what to do. He must be scarred for life!”

“Lisa, repeat what you just said.” Bart tells her.

“What? I practically raped Milhouse.”

“Again.”

“I practically raped…” She stops, finally realizing what she just said. “Oh my god. I probably fulfilled his biggest fantasy.”

“Bingo!” Bart says. “Besides, he told me about it when her brought you home late last night.”

“He brought me home?” Lisa asks.

“Yep. Even undressed you and put you in bed.” Bart says. “That was before he stayed up all night rewriting your applications to Princeton.”

Lisa is taken aback by what Bart just told her. “Milhouse? Did all that for me?”

“DUH! He’s got a crush on you, Dork-zilla!” Bart reiterates, which causes Lisa to rethink her situation. Maybe she’s not as bad off as she thought.

“I gotta go over there & thank him!” She says, standing up off of her bed. Bart gets up after her and walks over to the door, but not before asking Lisa one last question.

“Oh yeah, that reminds me. Mind if I bum 20 bucks off of you?” Lisa gives him the answer by slamming her bedroom door in his face.

15 Minutes Later…

DING-DONG!

Lisa rings the doorbell and waits outside of the Van Houten home, wearing a more modern version of her classic red sundress. It takes several moments, but the door finally opens to reveal a sleepy Milhouse still in his pajamas. Though once he lays eyes on her, he quickly peps up.

“LISA! YOU’RE HERE!” He says. “Wait, let me just make sure my father’s not home and…”

“Wait Milhouse.” She says, stopping him. “That’s…what we gotta talk about. First, thank you for bringing me home. And rewriting my College applications.”

“No problem!” He says. “I would…”

Lisa puts her hand up, silencing him, and continues. “Look, last night I was under a lot of stress, and I just needed someway to get rid of it. And I thank you for helping me, Milhouse. But…I don’t want you to think that it’s something when it’s not. I can’t get into a relationship right now. I mean it’ll be long distance. I’ll be all the way at Princeton…and you’ll be here at Springfield Tech.”

“I could transfer!” Milhouse debates. “Or, I could get an athletic scholarship!” Lisa puts her hand on his shoulder know good & well that the latter will never happen in this lifetime.

“Oh, I understand.” He says feeling dejected. “At least I was a one-night fling. It’s better than what my Therapist said I would be.”

Milhouse is about to shut the door when Lisa stops him, having another idea. “Wait. How about you and me…be Stress Sex Buddies.”

“Huh?” Milhouse asks confused.

Lisa explains. “Well, when I’m completely stressed out from life, I’ll come over here and you can help me ‘relieve it’. Deal?”

“DEAL!” Milhouse quickly agrees. “But…you’re the most calm person I know. You never get stressed out.”

KRRASSHH!!!!

The sound of broken glass fills the air. Instinctively, Lisa looks back towards her house and sees her Vintage Malibu Stacey collection go flying out of the window and hit the ground, breaking into pieces. A moment later, Homer’s head peers out the window.

“Sorry, Honey!” He yells to her. “Daddy was just trying to get rid of the monkeys! AAAHHH!!! THEY’RE THROWING POO AGAIN!!!”

“NOO!!! NOT THE CRYSTAL VASE!!!” Marge yells from inside. And like that, the ticking begins in Lisa’s head again. But instead of trying to hold back her stress & rage, she decides to release it…all on Milhouse.

“I’m gonna ride you hard & put you away wet!” She tells him seductively, before pouncing on top of him and slamming the door shut. And the last words to come from Milhouse…

“MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED…AGAIN!!!”
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Lisa the Time Bomb