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Along for the Ride	By : ayame28 Category: +M through R > Megas XLR Views: 4653 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Megas XLR, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Along for the Ride
- 1
Along for the Ride
Coop/Jamie

I do not own the characters of Megas XLR. They are the property of someone else completely. I make no money off of this fanfiction and have produced it out my twisted obsession for the two guys. ;)

Summary: Coop and Jamie realize they’re hot for each other. The Glorft use this to try to get Megas… Slash!

I need feedback! Wah!

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Coop did not do well in libraries. This time, he had knocked over a summer reading display and tripped over an old man’s cane while he was looking ahead for more summer reading displays to not knock over. He was half-turned around, apologizing, “It’s not that bad! I think I have some duct-tape to fix your cane,” he was saying, when he backed into someone.

Books fell everywhere and Coop slipped on a paperback novel and fell backwards onto his ass. He hadn’t landed on the floor though. He landed on something bony, something that was moaning… Wait! He knew that moan!

Coop struggled to his feet, slipped on another book and landed on a summer reading display. “Ouch!” He rubbed his head and looked up. His best friend, Jamie, was laughing at him. Then Coop started laughing, too. He bet he did look funny. Anyway, it’s a good day when you haven’t destroyed an entire building.

Coop stood up first and helped Jamie up. Jamie was so light and small! It always amazed Coop just how tiny he was compared to him. He stared at Jamie, noticing his blue hat was askew and his pale face was a little red, then Coop wiped his hands on his pants and started picking up books.

“So, what are you doing in the library, Coop?”

Coop shrugged. He was actually embarrassed: his mom sent him to pick up “Burning Hot Desire,” “Pirate Love” and “Yes, it’s Just like Butter”: all Romance novels. It was too embarrassing. “Nothin’,” he said. “What about you?”

“I can read, you know. Hey, you like this stuff?”

Coop snatched the novel away. “You know I don’t. It’s for my mom. But I did get a sweet book about cars.” It had come from one of the summer reading displays he’d knocked over.

Jamie looked at the book and said, “These cars have eyes and they can talk.”

“Cool, huh?”

“Yeah,” Jamie said sarcastically, and smirked. Then he bent over to pick up the rest of his own books. He had a lot! Coop was sure he’d never seen Jamie crack a book, even when they’d been in school. Coop put down the pile of Romance novels and started helping Jamie.

He wasn’t paying attention to the titles at first. He assumed that Jamie’s mom had sent him to do the same thing: pick up some bogus, long-haired love stories, but that wasn’t what Jamie had at all. Coop straightened up and looked at the cover of one for a moment.

It was just a moment because Jamie snatched it out of his hands, his face burning red.
“Hey! Don’t look at that!”

Coop frowned, staring at the title. “Why not?”

“Because. Just because. Coop, I’ve gotta go.”

“Uh, Okay Jamie. You coming over later? The Ultra Super Monster Cage Match is tonight.”

Jamie looked like he was about to say something, but didn’t. “Yeah, I’ll be there. Later, Coop!”

Coop watched Jamie flee to the check-out desk. He began to gather up his books, too. He wondered why Jamie was so upset. He knew his family wasn’t normal. It was dysfunctional to the extreme. It always had been. But it seemed like things were getting better now that his mom was divorced. Jamie wasn’t getting hit anymore and his mother drank less. Some of the books, Coop had noticed, were about messed up families. But the book that Jamie didn’t want him to see was called “Somebody I Love is Gay.”

Coop had to sit down and think about it. He thought for a long time, and then forgot what he was thinking about and just realized he was hungry. He picked everything up and got to the check-out desk. He knocked over only 2 more displays. Not bad for a day at the library.

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Kiva was tinkering with something when he got home. She was sitting at the kitchen table and all kinds of little metal parts were everywhere. Coop didn’t recognize any of them. His mom was in the living room watching a soap opera. Coop went in and handed her the books and she kissed him on his forehead. Coop grumbled a little and rubbed his head with the back of his hand. His mom chuckled.

“Hey Red, what you working on?” he asked when he got back into the kitchen.

“It’s a transmodular responder.”

“Oh,” Coop said. He didn’t bother asking what it did. There was no point. It wouldn’t make sense anyway. He opened the fridge and got out some sandwich fixings. “Want one?”

“Hmm? No, I’m not hungry. Thanks, Coop,” she said. Her eyes never left the device.

Coop made a giant sub with everything. He plunked himself in a too-small chair across from Kiva. “So,” he said.

“Hmm?”

“So, I saw Jamie at the library.”

Kiva looked up and raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t destroy the library did you?”

“No! I mean, what’s a guy gotta do to live down the donut library with the moth-ra bug-snake things? Sheesh! No, he was getting books, like self-help books.”

“What’s a self-help book?”

Coop scratched his head. “Well, it’s a book that helps you help yourself.”

“Oh. Why would you need a book for that?”

“I dunno. People do, I guess. But get this, Kiva, one of the books he had was called “Somebody I Love is Gay.””

Kiva was looking at the transmodular thingy again. “So?”

“So? That means Jamie is gay!”

“I don’t think that’s what the title means, Coop. I think it means someone he knows and cares about is gay. Anyway, what’s the big deal?” She looked up and gave Coop a look that made him want to shrink and disappear.

“Nothing, I guess. I mean, it’s just that people aren’t usually gay.”

“Oh. I keep forgetting how primitive you people are. We don’t even use the word ‘gay’ in the future. In the future, it’s more important just to love. You love who you can, when you can. You never know when it’s going to be your last day.”

Coop grinned. “So, you’re telling me you’ve ‘done it’ with other chicks?”

“Coop! That’s none of your business! Anyway, haven’t you ever thought about other guys in that way?”

Coop folded his arms over his big belly. “No.”

Kiva smirked. “You’re probably telling the truth, too. I don’t think there’s much room up there for anything else besides food, slushies, video games, too-loud music, cars—“

“Don’t forget Megas,” Coop said, talking with his mouth full.

“Yes, Megas. My point is that you don’t let your thoughts wander too much. You’re too focused on things on the outside. I bet you don’t know what you want, Coop.”

“I do too.”

“No, I mean, what you want that doesn’t involve food, cars, robots, music, TV or video games.” Kiva flipped her red hair over her shoulder and began snapping pieces together.

Coop just sat there with his mouth open. She was right. He’d never thought about it. He never thought about his feelings. Never. They hurt, actually. If he thought too much, he realized that he really thought he was a loser. Lots of other people thought he was a loser, too: a fat, stupid loser. And forget about any other feelings he might have. Suddenly he thought something that seemed important. “Jamie thinks I’m gay!”

“Bingo,” Kiva said. “That would be my guess.”

“Dude? Why would he think that?”

Kiva shrugged. “Maybe you are.”

“I can’t be. I would know.”

Kiva shrugged again. “You’d know if you thought about it.”

“I hate thinking.”

“I know. Go watch some TV. You’ll feel better and I can get this done.”

“Yeah, TV, good idea, Kiva.”

He grabbed a bag of chips and headed for the basement. She was right: he didn’t want to think. He turned the TV on and ate a handful of BBQ chip goodness. His mind blanked out and he felt much better.

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Jamie didn’t come over that night. Coop waited and waited. It was a rare day when Jamie wasn’t at his side. Sometimes, Jamie had dates with girls, but even then he was around, bugging Coop to borrow his ride (Megas’ head) or just to crow about how cool he was that he got a date with a hot chick.

Other than that, Jamie was practically always with him. They did everything together. Coop always decided what they’d do and Jamie would go along with it. That’s why Jamie was always there when they were saving the Earth (again) and destroying buildings (again). Jamie was a scaredy-cat, really. Coop wasn’t scared of anything.

“Yeah, I’m not scared of anything,” he said to himself again. He plugged in his PlayPlace and began to kick the shit out of some beast-dude. He practiced several finishing combos and kicked the shit out of some kung-fu guy. He was really good. He went upstairs and nuked some pizza snacks and went back downstairs and kicked the shit out of some girl in a skimpy blue dress. It was getting old. It wasn’t as fun without Jamie playing or watching and cracking jokes.

Kiva came down and stole some of his pizza snacks while he wasn’t looking. She sat on the edge of the couch and watched him kick the shit out of an army dude. “That’s a pretty good move,” she said.

“Wanna try it?”

“Nah. It’s just a game, Coop.”

Coop shrugged. “How do you think I got so good at piloting Megas?”

“You’re not that good.”

Coop grinned at her. “I kicked your ass, I remember.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she dismissed it with a wave of her hand and snuck some more pizza snacks.

“Hey! Get your own!”

Kiva giggled and took two more. “Stop me,” she said.

Coop just grumbled. He didn’t like getting physical. Anyway, once Kiva had flipped him when he tried to stop her from taking his nachos. It was embarrassing. He stood up to change disks instead.

“So Coop, did you think about what we talked about earlier?”

Coop was rifling through a pile of games. “Huh? What were we talking about?”

“About you being gay.”

“I am not gay!” Coop shouted. “I like chicks and stuff.”

“You’re getting defensive. You know I’ll still be your friend if you’re gay.” She smirked at him and was definitely teasing.

“I’m not gay. Didn’t you see those cool girlie mud-flaps I installed on Megas?” He finally had the game he wanted in hand and put it in the PlayPlace and stalked back to the couch, plopping heavily into the concave spot his ass had made in it over the years.

Kiva just grinned. “Yeah, of course I’ve seen them. But you know, Coop, those are really idealized versions of women. They’re not real.”

“Well, of course they’re not real. Duh.” He tried concentrating on the game. He was trying a simple combo, but every time he needed to press the right button, his thumb slipped. He was sweating.

“I just think you should think about it.”

“I hate thinking!” Coop said, too loudly. Kiva raised an eyebrow and stood up. As she walked out of the basement, she said, “Get some rest. We have to practice some new moves with Megas tomorrow.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Coop answered. When Kiva left, he threw down the controller and folded his arms across his stomach. He didn’t think. For about an hour, he made himself not-think. The more he tried not to think, though, the more weird random thoughts slipped into his head. He kept thinking strange things, like how long Jamie’s legs were, how light his skin was, the color of his stupid hat…

Eventually, he fell asleep and began to dream. It wasn’t a very coherent dream, but it was pleasant in some ways. He was eating a Philly Cheesesteak with Jamie and the two of them were sitting across from each other. He stopped eating and reached across the table to pull off Jamie’s hat, exposing his soft black hair. He ran his fingers through his hair and somehow found himself kissing Jamie.

It felt good!

He was rudely shaken awake by Kiva. He blinked and looked around. “Morning, Coop. I made breakfast so we could get an early start.”

Coop rubbed his hands across his face. He said, “OK,” and heaved his stiff body off the couch. He realized he had an erection. He didn’t really have them too often. Sometimes he had morning wood, but not like this! He went into the bathroom and tried not to think again so it would go away.

It didn’t go away. The more he tried to not-think, the more he thought about his dream. He began to wonder where it might have led: Maybe to eating pizza in bed with a naked Jamie?

Coop shook his head. “I’m having dreams because of all the stuff Kiva and I talked about. It’s just all the stuff she said that’s making me think these things. I would have thought them on my own before if I really was gay, right?”

He looked down over his belly and even though he couldn’t see it, he knew he was still hard. Only one thing to do: take care of it.

“Just like a joystick,” Coop said to himself and laughed. He sat down on the toilet and reached down across his belly to grab his erection. Another reason he didn’t do this too often was that it was really awkward! He was a big, big guy and getting into a position that was just right wasn’t easy. He leaned back and put his legs up against the wall. It was uncomfortable, but he had a better grip. He began to stroke, his mind automatically showing images of his best friend. And the more he thought about Jamie, the more intense he felt.

“Coop! Hurry up, the eggs are getting cold!” Kiva called.

“Yeah, Coop, hurry up!” That was Jamie’s voice. Just hearing him drove Coop over the edge. He came all over his shirt.

He felt great, and then he felt weird. Jamie was his best friend! Jamie wasn’t gay: he dated girls. Damn if Kiva wasn’t right. He, Coop, probably was gay. He beat-off thinking about Jamie. He thought back and realized other times he’d beat-off thinking about that kung-fu dude from Alley Fighters or Claude from Last Fantasy. Damn it! He was so gay! He really didn’t want to think about it. Thinking was bad; this was real proof of it. It made him want to knock something over, like a building or blow up a POP Music satellite. Then Coop looked down and realized he’d messed up his shirt.

“Great, just great,” he said. He stood up and pulled his shirt off. He was going to have to walk through the kitchen to get to his bedroom, too. He didn’t like walking around without his shirt, but all the…stuff… all over it was really gross.

He tried to sneak through the kitchen, but when you’re six foot six, over 300 pounds and shirtless, you don’t sneak so well. He caught both Jamie and Kiva staring and fled to his room.

He found a clean t-shirt and then figured if he was going to change his shirt, he may as well change his underwear, too. When he finished dressing, he came back down. There was a plate with sausage, bacon and eggs untouched at an empty seat. Coop grabbed a soda from the fridge and then sat down. He could feel himself blushing. “Sorry you had to see that,” he mumbled around a mouthful of sausage. Kiva sure could cook!

“See what?” Kiva said, and winked at Jamie.

Jamie winked back. Coop felt better, so he said, “Why didn’t you come over last night?”

“I was reading and lost track of time,” Jamie said.

“Oh. Since when do you read?” Coop asked and shoveled more meat into his mouth.

Kiva looked between the two of them and seemed like she was about to start laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Jamie asked. “I *can* read you know.”

“That’s not what’s funny. You two are funny.” She got up and began to wash some dishes. Coop could hear her snickering over the sounds of water and scrubbing.

Coop looked at Jamie and his heart fell. “Jamie, do you still want to be my friend?”

“Dude? Why would you ask that?”

“You didn’t come over last night!”

“I had some stuff I had to read about. That’s all. I needed to know some stuff, not that it’s any of your business.”

“But you missed the Ultra Super Monster Cage Match! We were looking forward to it!”

“Coop, you need to relax! And you need to not talk with your mouth full.”

“You don’t like me anymore because you think I’m gay,” Coop said. His mouth was still full. He didn’t care.

Jamie looked shocked, and then started to laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

“You are! I didn’t get that book because of you, Coop. I got it for me.”

“But it said…”

“I got it because I was scared to check out any of the other ones. I figured if the librarians thought I was getting it because someone I cared about is gay, they wouldn’t think it was for me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I think I’m bi.”

“Huh?”

“Bi-sexual.”

“What makes you think that?”

Jamie shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe that sometimes I like chicks, and sometimes I like guys.”

“You never said anything about that to me!”

Jamie actually looked ashamed. “I couldn’t. I’m sorry Coop. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Coop didn’t know what to say. “Whatever. It’s cool.”

“What’s cool?”

“I dunno! Everything, I guess. Don’t worry about it.” He stood up, grabbed his soda and went out to the garage to tinker with Megas before they started practice.

Jamie followed Coop and leaned over him while he was tightening some loose nuts. He was really close. Coop could practically feel his breath on the back of his neck. It made him tingle in a weird way—almost like thinking about ham-wrapped pizza, but better. When Coop stood up, Jamie was still really close. Kiva was still presumably in the kitchen, so Coop thought, “Hey, why not?”

He leaned down to kiss Jamie. Jamie didn’t move away, but he didn’t make it easier. It was an awkward, weird kiss. But it still made his lips buzz.

They were still staring at each other inches away from each other’s faces when Kiva came in. Then Coop found something else to tighten and Jamie found something to snark about. Kiva snickered and ran through some checks of her own.

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Later, when they took a break from training so Coop could get “second lunch,” Jamie told Kiva, “He kissed me!”

Kiva laughed so hard, soda came out of her nose. “I’m sorry Jamie! It’s just funny the way you said it.”

“Yeah, great.”

“Did you not like it? I thought you decided you were bi.”

“I hadn’t decided anything,” he said and turned away. “I was just wondering.”

Kiva walked around him and said, “If Coop liked you, would that be OK?”

“You mean, do I think he’s hot?”

Kiva sipped her drink. “Yeah, I guess.”

Jamie thought about it. Hell yeah, Coop was hot. He had a cute face and was totally huggable. Jamie also knew because of gym in high school, that Coop was really, really well-endowed. And like in the lyrics from his super-secret Pansy Division CD: The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin’. He was blushing thinking about it in front of Kiva.

Kiva laughed. “I think you’ve answered my question. I don’t get what the problem is.”

“Okay, what if we get together and it doesn’t work, then what? Coop is my best friend! I can’t lose that. I can’t! I’d rather die.”

Kiva shrugged. “Dramatic much? You could be more than friends and that would be good, right? You’d both be happy. It might work out. If there were any two boneheads made for each other it would be you and Coop.”

“Yeah,” Jamie said. He looked over to the Burger Barn door and saw Coop come out with two full paper bags and an X-tra sized pop. He smiled, a smile that held no snark: it was just a regular smile.

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Kiva just “had” to go somewhere that night. She was really vague about it, but insisted she had to go. Coop offered to drive her, but she said Goat was picking her up.

“Goat!?” Coop and Jamie said in unison.

“Yes, so don’t worry about me. I’ll see you two later.”

Both Jamie and Coop were still staring in disbelief when Goat drove up in his jalopy and honked for Kiva to hop in. She waved and Goat waved and winked.

Jamie shook his head. “That’s just not right,” he said.

“Too right it’s not right. Wonder what she’s doing.”

“I hope it’s not Goat!” Jamie said, and they started laughing together. Damn, that felt good! Things had been kind of tense between the two of them since Coop kissed him. It wasn’t that Jamie didn’t like it, but he was scared and he was mostly scared that Coop didn’t really mean it: like it had been a failed experiment.

They did their usual. After checking out Megas, (there was a suspicious dent the size and shape of a US Postal Mailbox that Coop had to un-dent), they ate (well Coop ate), and played video games. Coop won, which was fine with Jamie: Coop was a winner. Jamie was a loser. He was a skinny loser with too-big feet.

He was surprised out his thoughts when he realized that Coop wasn’t playing anymore. He was just staring at Jamie.

“What? Do I have a booger or something?”

“No. I was just lookin’.”

“At me?”

“Who else is in the room?”

Jamie actually looked around just to make sure. “Why?”

Coop smiled. He had such an easy smile. He said, “I think I like you, like, like you, like you.”

“You’re saying you think you like me?”

Coop scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, like, you know, like, like you.”

Jamie frowned.

“What? Damn, you don’t like me back!” He turned away and started playing again. His brows were knitted up and he had that look like he wanted to knock something over.

Jamie stood up in front of Coop, blocking the TV. “No, Coop, I do like you.”

“Like, like me, like me?”

“Yeah, but I’m scared.”

“Huh?”

Jamie spread his arms out and waved them around. “I’m scared! I’m not good enough for you Coop!”

Coop put the game controller down. “What do you mean?”

“I’m a loser, Coop! I’ve always been a loser. You’re so much better. You can control Megas, you save the world all the time!”

“Kiva says I get the world in trouble, too.”

“But you always get it out of trouble. I’m just along for the ride.”

Coop sat still for a moment. Jamie could tell he was thinking. He had that screwed up look on his face like it hurt his brain to use it too much. Finally he said, “That’s it. First you make me go to the library—“

“Your mom made you go to the library.”

“Then you make me think that you think I’m gay—“

“Uh, you did that, I think.”

“Hey, I’m on a roll here. And then you make me think about being gay. And then you make me get up out of my comfy chair—“

“But I didn’t…” Jamie stammered. But Coop had stood up and had wrapped his arms around Jamie.

“Say you like me,” Coop said. His big head was on Jamie’s shoulder and Jamie could feel his breath on his ear.

“Coop, I more than like you: I always have. That’s why I never told you I like guys. The guy I liked the most was you.” Coop crushed Jamie tighter. “Hey, I need to breathe, big guy!”

“Yeah, sorry.” Coop pulled away, but kept his long arms on Jamie’s shoulders. Then he pulled Jamie’s hat off and ran his fingers through his hair. It felt so good! Jamie could hardly believe it was happening. Coop tilted his head up so that Jamie was forced to look into his eyes. He couldn’t look away. Coop’s eyes were all for him. It was almost the same look he had after working on Megas. He leaned in to kiss Jamie a second time.

This time, Jamie responded. He lost himself in Coop’s mouth. Coop tasted like pizza and pop. They pressed their bodies together. Jamie wrapped his arms around Coop’s round stomach and moaned into the kiss.

“Uh, was that a good moan?” Coop asked.

“Yes. It was a very good moan.” Jamie smiled and held on tight to his big friend.

“Yeah, uh, so I don’t know what to do now. I don’t know how to be gay.”

Jamie laughed. “The book says that you just do what feels right.”

“Like you wing it?”

“Yeah.”

Coop grinned. “I’m good at winging it.” He sat down on the broken-in couch, pulling Jamie down with him. Those big arms crushed Jamie close and Coop kissed him again. Jamie let his hands wander over Coop’s body. He couldn’t believe he was touching him! He broke away from the kiss and slid his hands under Coop’s t-shirt.

“Hey!”

“Hey what?”

Coop blushed. “I’m big boned, you know.”

“Really?” Jamie slid down and kissed Coop’s belly. “I like it. It jiggles.”

Coop was laughing. “Hey that tickles! Stop it!”

So Jamie tickled him some more. Coop retaliated and Jamie slid out of his lap and onto the floor. Coop rolled off the couch and pinned Jamie. They stared at each other a moment and then smiled at each other. Then they kissed. This time, Coop’s big hands wandered over Jamie’s body. He lifted his shirt and placed wet kisses along his chest and flat belly. He reached his waist and Jamie was tingling. “Jamie, would it be OK if I took off your clothes?”

“Hey, your mom’s not going to come down here, is she?”

“Nah.”

“Well, only if you take off yours.”

“Fair enough. Promise not to laugh, OK?”

“As long as you don’t laugh at my skinny bird-chest.”

“Deal.”

They took off their clothes and sat across from each other on the basement floor. They looked at each other and then they both started laughing.

“Hey! You promised!”

“You promised, too!” Jamie countered. He went to Coop and lay his head on his chest. “I’m not laughing at you.”

Coop smiled. Jamie could feel him smile. “I know. I’m not laughing at you either. You know, I had this fantasy where you were naked and we were eating pizza.”

“That’s a very ‘Coop’ fantasy.”

“Yeah…I wonder if Pizza Hutch is still open.”

Jamie reached down while Coop was distracted by thoughts of pizza. He touched Coop’s erection gently, and then wrapped his small hand around it. Coop leaned back and moaned. “Oh Wow, Jamie. No one’s ever touched me there… it’s so much better…”

“Hmm? Better than what?”

“Pizza, my own hands, everything...”

“Really? You like it?”

“Yeah, I love it. Let me…” he inched closer, “let me touch yours.”

Coop reached over and touched Jamie down there. Jamie had been touched before. He’d even done it once with a skanky girl in high school. But this was so different, so much better. Coop’s giant, warm hands surrounded him and stroked with surprising gentleness. Jamie was so into the feeling, he almost forgot to do the same to Coop. But then he remembered to give back. He glanced up and saw Coop with a blissful look on his face. They were close, bodies touching; their hands working one another. Coop was so good with his hands…

Coop finished first. Jamie had expected him to be loud, to shout and cry out. But he didn’t. He was very quiet. His eyelids fluttered as he spurted hot liquid into Jamie’s hand. That feeling, knowing Coop had come, made Jamie climax. He was loud. He was so loud, that Coop’s mom called from the kitchen, “Are you boys OK down there?”

Coop started to snigger. “Yeah mom, we’re fine. Go back to bed.”

Jamie panted. He was spent, but felt great. He looked up at Coop who shoved him. “You’re too loud!”

“Hey, jerk!” Jamie tackled Coop, but it was like tackling a very soft boulder: it didn’t hurt, but Coop didn’t budge an inch. Coop wrapped his arms around Jamie and gave him a super-noogie. When their skin touched, Jamie could feel the stickiness of it on the two of them.

Coop noticed it too, and said, “Ew. We should shower or something.” He stood up and stretched. Jamie liked watching. He liked the view he had, too, his eyes level with Coop’s equipment. Coop grinned. “You spending the night?”

“You couldn’t stop me.”

“Oh really?”

They were still wrestling naked on the floor when Kiva walked in. She smacked her forehead with her hand and turned around and walked out. Coop and Jamie dissolved into laughter. But they finally got upstairs and into the shower.

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“Commander!” Gorrath shouted.

The Commander appeared in the doorway and managed to cringe only a little. “Yes Warmaster?”

“I do not see how these surveillance tapes will help us retrieve the Prototype and defeat that fat Earther once and for all. Have you seen what he will put in his mouth?”

The Commander approached the screen to see which tape Gorrath was looking at. “Yes, Warmaster, it does seem rather unsanitary, doesn’t it?”

Gorrath swung backwards while the Commander dodged, squealing. “Why, Commander, have you shown me these tapes?”

“These tapes record what we believe to be a mating ritual between the fat one and his friend, Warmaster.”

“And to mate, they must move their hands so much and to share bodily fluid? Earthers are far more primitive and useless than I thought. But, these tapes do give me an idea. Ready the covert recovery teams. I want the skinny one.”

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Kiva finally let everyone take a break from training. Jamie was really glad. He could only be so sarcastic and scream like a girl for so long. It wasn’t easy on his vocal chords. Coop asked if he wanted to come to Burger Barn with him and Kiva, but Jamie said he had to pick up something at the drug store.

Coop let Jamie off in front of Doorgreens and promised to pick Jamie up a Double Bacon Cheeseburger with extra pickles. Then he blew him a kiss. As Megas walked off, Jamie was sure he could hear Kiva singing “Jamie and Coop sitting in a tree…”

Jamie was excited, nervous and embarrassed. He and Coop had done a lot over the past few days. Every night now, he slept in the warm circle of Coop’s arms. He’d never felt so safe and protected before. They’d explored every inch of each other’s bodies, but they’d never actually had sex. So Jamie was buying lube. They’d decided they didn’t need condoms since Jamie had been tested and Coop was (technically) a virgin.

He was browsing through all the different brands of lube (there were a lot!) when someone bumped up against him. Jamie was startled and pocketed several tubes he was comparing, just in case the person who bumped up against him knew him. Jamie turned around and just saw another random guy out shopping—a big guy. But then, the man said, “Come with me, pathetic Earther” and Jamie knew that voice. It was the Glorft.

Jamie screamed like a girl, but Coop was too far away to hear him. He was hit over the head and when he woke, was alone in a small cell. All he had were his clothes and a coat pocket full of stolen lube from Doorgreens. And he was thirsty and hungry since he hadn’t gone to Burger Barn with Coop and Kiva.

“This sucks,” Jamie said.

“Yes, it does, doesn’t it, Earther.” It was Gorrath on a screen in the room.

“What do you want from me? I’m a nobody. Really. I can’t do anything.”

“In that you are incorrect. You are Coop’s mate. He will have to bargain for you. I will get the Prototype without a fight.”

Jamie stood up. “Coop will never give up Megas!”

“Incorrect. All of you Earthers are soft-hearted when it comes to each other. I will have the Prototype!” He laughed maniacally, a little too maniacally, Jamie thought.

“Whatever. You’ll see. Coop will win. He always wins.”

“Yes, we will see, won’t we?”

“Yeah, we will!”

“Yes, we will! Oh, shut up!”

The screen went blank. Jamie kicked the wall. “Ouch!” The walls were really hard. “Damn!” He sat down to think. Maybe Coop would find a way to rescue him. They’d been in the Glorft ship before. He’d figure out where he was.

He looked around. Above him and to the left in the wall were ventilation shafts. He thought about what Coop would do if he was stuck in the room: he would punch his way out. Jamie wasn’t able to do that. So he thought about what Kiva would do. She would think of something. All he had to do was think.

Damn.

He paced, and stuffed his hands into his pockets. He felt the lube in his pockets and looked at the small grates covering the little ventilation shafts and then he had an idea.

------------------------------------------------------------

Coop was finishing up the last of the French fries and tapping his fingers on the edge of the window. “Geez, what’s taking him so long?” They were parked in the Doogreens lot just waiting.

“I don’t know, Coop. But I have a bad feeling about this. It’s been at least 45 minutes.”

“Yeah,” Coop agreed and ate some more fries. “Are you going to eat that Kiva?”

“No. And how can you keep eating when something could be wrong with Jamie?”

Coop stuffed some of her fries into his mouth. “Eating keeps me focused,” he said. He munched a few more fries, and then said, “I’m going down there.” He had a little knot of worry in his stomach, like the kind that he got when he had no lives left in a game and was on a very difficult level. He was worried, he realized.

Coop was about to open the door when Megas’s screen flickered and a transmission came through. Gorrath’s tentacled face appeared, looking presumably smug. “Fat Earther! Surrender the Prototype to me, or else!”

Coop groaned. “Oh man, not you again. I’m busy! Can’t you get it through your ugly, squid head that this is MY robot? Not yours, MINE.”

“I think you will change your mind when you see this!” The screen changed from showing Gorrath’s ugly face to an empty room.

“And that’s supposed to change my mind, how?”

“It can’t be! We captured your mate and incarcerated him within the confines of this room! Commander where is--!” The transmission ended abruptly and Coop and Kiva were staring at a blank screen.

Kiva got herself together first. “They have Jamie. I will triangulate the signal they transmitted so we can locate their position.”

“They have MY boyfriend? Where is he? I’ll destroy them for good this time!”

“Maybe he escaped?”

“Jamie?”

The looked at each other and said in unison, “Nah.” Then Kiva said, “I’ve got the location.”

“Then let’s rock.” He geared Megas up and blasted out of the parking lot. Several cars rolled over and half of Doorgreens was blown off. Kiva buried her head in her hands and just hung on for the ride.

------------------------------------------------------------

Jamie heard over the intercom that the Glorft were looking for him. He was currently stuck in a ventilation shaft, naked and covered in lube. For awhile, the lube had helped him slither through the little shaft more easily. He was glad that he’d picked up the Galactic Glide brand. It seemed to really work. He wondered if the makers had had alien escape routes in mind when they named it.

But even though it worked really well, he was stuck now and he was starting to worry. He might die in the shaft! He would never get to have real sex with Coop, the hot, deep sex he had been dreaming of for so long. He would never be on top, pushing himself completely inside of Coop: the bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin’…

“Aw man!” He clamped his eyes shut. He had to think about what was going on now and not be scared—or worry about anything except getting unstuck. There was an opening sort of to his left if he could just wiggle a little more and kick it open. It appeared to be a library or data storage area. “Just my luck,” Jamie thought. But at least it seemed to be deserted.

He squeezed some more lube out and rocked back and forth until his leg was loose. After several tries, the grate opened and Jamie backed through it and fell onto his ass on the floor. Tons of tapes cascaded down and landed on his head and in his lap. “Ouch! Damn that hurts!” He rubbed his head and looked around. Most of the tapes in the storage cases had fallen out and spilled over the floor. He picked one up and looked at it. It read, Surveillance Tape 2412. He turned it over and saw a holographic image of him and Coop kissing on the outside. He wished he had a pocket, but he’d kept his hat on. It was small enough to fit underneath, so he tucked it in and began to look for a way out of the library.

------------------------------------------------------------

Coop followed Kiva’s directions, except he turned left when he should have turned right. But finally, they spotted the Glorft ship hiding behind the moon. “There it is,” Kiva said. “And mechs are coming out already. They know we’re here.”

Coop just grinned and rubbed his hands together. “That’s the way I like it. They’re going down hard!” He gunned the engine and raced forward. This was easier than Alley Fighter. He dodged, punched, shot missiles and basically destroyed the force coming at him. More mechs poured out of the mothership and Coop just kept on grinning and fighting. He fired some missiles. “Yeah! That’s for kidnapping my boyfriend!”

“Coop! We’re surrounded!”

“Don’t worry, Red! I’ve got it under control.”

The mechs kept pouring out and Coop kept battling them with Megas. He was in the zone! It felt good, destroying these pathetic Glorft. He was kicking their asses! He was going to get Jamie back

Then suddenly Megas sputtered and Coop looked down at the dash. “Uh oh…”

Kiva leaned forward. “‘Uh oh,’ what, Coop?”

“I think I forgot to gas up…”

“Coop!”

“Don’t worry! I’ll think of something.”

The mechs surrounded Megas and Coop tried really, really hard to think of something.

------------------------------------------------------------

Jamie kept sneaking around the ship. It was pretty empty in most parts. He thought that was weird, but didn’t mind that he wasn’t bumping into the Glorft, either. After several attempts and not finding anything useful, he opened a door into a control room.

“Awesome. Now I can probably find a communicator or something.” He looked around. It was just like the engine room in Star Tracks. “Dude! That’s a freaking warp core!” He walked closer to it and it even made that thrumming sound like it did in Next Generations.

Jamie had an idea.

Then he heard Glorft approaching and realized he’d have to find a way to do it before the Glorft got to him. He looked around and wished he’d paid better attention to details when he and Coop were watching TV. After a frantic search, he found a big metal stick in the corner. He grabbed it and started hitting the control panels. Smoke rose and circuits sputtered and flickered on and off.

Alarms sounded and Jamie covered his ears. Two Glorft burst into the room and he screamed like a girl. So did the Glorft when they saw that a warp-core breach was eminent. They turned and ran. Jamie followed. He really hoped Coop would rescue him now.

------------------------------------------------------------

The mechs were beating the crap out of Megas. Coop was swearing and yelling “I just waxed it! Watch it! Aw, man!”

Inside of Megas, Kiva frantically tried to restore the backup fuel cells that Coop had removed temporarily to power his gas grill last week. She was working hard but Coop still had to try to minimize the damage that Megas was taking with the remaining fuel they had left. He wasn’t doing a good job: he was too low on fuel to do anything useful and Kiva was getting knocked around inside of Megas with every hit.

Suddenly, the battle just ended. The mechs all turned away and began flying out into space away from the main Glorft battleship. “Huh?” said Coop.

“What’s going on?” called Kiva.

“They’re leaving.”

“They’re going back to the ship?”

“Nope, they’re just leaving.”

Kiva came back up and looked out through the window. “That’s strange.” She did a quick scan. “Oh no! Coop, this is really, really bad.”

“When you say, ‘Really, really bad,’ do you mean ‘End of the Earth bad’ or just, you know the usual kind of bad?”

“Coop! It’ll be the end of the whole solar system—Earth, the Sun, everything! The Glorft ship has a warp core breach!”

Coop felt scared, a deep dark scared that he didn’t like. “Jamie is on that ship!”

Kiva jumped into Jamie’s seat in the front. She was fiddling with some controls that Coop had stuck in the glove compartment. “Coop, we have to find a way to get the Glorft ship out of the solar system and fast!”

“No, Kiva! We have to rescue Jamie! How long till the warp core beaches?”

“Breaches.”

“Whatever. How long?”

“Twenty minutes. Megas is refueled, but we don’t have enough power to tow the Glorft ship far enough from Earth to be safe.”

Coop stared at Kiva for a moment. “Can you see Jamie on the scanner?”

“No, for some reason his signal is not coming through properly.”

“What if I throw the ship into the Infinity Zone?”

“Coop! The Infinity Zone is back on that other planet!”

“Nope. I went back and incorporated Targon’s technology into Megas.” He flipped open a bank of buttons on the dashboard. “See?”

“’Press for Infinity Zone?’ When did you go back? I thought everyone there was mad at you.”

Coop shrugged. “It was that weekend you went to get your hair done. I think they were happy to see me. They all shouted and waved a lot.”

“Ok. So we can make an Infinity Zone and put the Glorft ship into it. Now all we need to do is find Jamie.”

Coop cracked his knuckles. “Leave that to me.”

He flipped open another bank of buttons. He pressed a big red one that said, “Rescue Boyfriend.” Megas flew straight for the Glorft ship. They received no resistance at all.

------------------------------------------------------------

Jamie was listening to the countdown of the warp core breach. The countdown was recited by a woman, of all things. He wondered if the Glorft had women. They all seemed kind of too burly and too gnarly for any of them to be women. But you never knew.

He shook his head. It was amazing the things you think about when you’re about to die.

Glorft streamed past him, not even seeing him huddled in the corner. He was cold, sticky, stuck alone in an alien warship and was about to die. It couldn’t get any worse. He actually felt comfortable saying out loud: “This can’t get any worse,” because he knew that it really couldn’t.

Then Gorrath appeared.

“Aw man!” Jamie said and cowered. There was nowhere to run, Gorrath towered over him.

“Stupid mammal, you ruined everything! You destroyed my plans to trade for Megas, you had my whole ship busy on a useless search to find you, you wrecked my library of data tapes and you have caused the destruction of my last ship!”

“Uh, sorry?” Jamie said and cowered some more. He didn’t cower enough, because Gorrath reached down and picked Jamie up. He was about to hit him, when Megas’ giant blue fist punched through the wall, followed shortly by the rest of Megas. Gorrath dropped Jamie and Jamie scrambled backwards.

“You! You stupid, brainless Earther! Your precious Earth will be destroyed along with the Prototype and everything else you value!” Gorrath shook his fist at Coop.

Jamie heard Coop say, “You talk too much, squid-face! First, you kidnap my boyfriend, then you try to make me trade Megas for him. And then, you make me run out gas, and now I see that you’re trying to get it on with MY boyfriend! Now, it’s personal.”

“Pathetic Earther! I would never stoop to ‘get it on’ with any of you.”

“Shut up, Gorrath!” Coop growled. He used Megas to flick Gorrath out of the way. Then he gently picked up Jamie and let him climb into the cockpit. Coop stopped for a moment to look at Jamie. “You’re covered in slime? What kind of kinky, weird stuff was he trying to force you to do?” He hugged Jamie anyway. Jamie couldn’t believe how good it felt, even if he was sticky and cold.

“Uh, Coop?” Kiva said, “Now might be a good time to get out and open the Infinity Zone. We have two minutes left.”

“Right. Let’s go.” They left the Glorft ship and Coop activated the Infinity Zone button. The Infinity Zone opened up a rift into space. Coop geared Megas up, grabbed a part of the battleship and tossed it in. Then he pressed the ‘Close Infinity Zone’ button and it closed up. “Well, there you go. Day saved, again.”

Jamie smiled and hugged Coop. “My hero!”

Coop leered at him. “A naked Jamie in my lap and the world saved, again? What could be better?”

“I have a cool tape to watch later,” Jamie said. “I think we’ll really like it.” He winked.

Kiva groaned. “I need to get laid.”

“What, Kiva?”

“Nothing.”

------------------------------------------------------------

Later that night, Jamie and Coop were watching TV in Coop’s room. They were naked on the bed and eating popcorn. They were watching the stolen Glorft tape. It played just fine after Coop modified the VCR a little.

“Whoa,” Coop said. “That’s pretty hot.”

“Yeah. I can’t believe the Glorft taped all of this.”

Coop sat up. “Wait! This is my favorite part.” The two them watched as Coop on screen went down on Jamie. “Mmmmm…cock-dog.”

“I can’t believe you said cock-dog.”

“Yeah, me neither. My mouth was full. Man, this makes me horny and hungry.”

“Coop you’re always hungry.”

“And horny,” he said.

“Good thing. I wish I hadn’t lost all the lube, though. It was pretty good stuff.” Jamie rolled onto his back and looked up at Coop.

“We could take Megas back to Doorgreens.”

“Nah, they’re still rebuilding. Anyway, I feel like staying in.” Jamie lay back and stretched out on Coop’s big bed.

Coop grinned. “I’m glad you said that.” He reached under the bed and pulled out a tub of something.

Jamie read the label, “Butter-flavored lard?”

“Yeah, my mom uses it to make cookies.” He popped off the lid.

“I don’t know, Coop. You think it’ll work?”

“Sure, it’s slippery enough.” He dipped his finger in and then popped his finger into his mouth. “Tastes good, too. So, you ready?”

“Uh, yeah,” he said. “Which one tops?”

“Huh?”

“You know, are you going to fuck me, or should I fuck you?”

Coop thought about it a little. “I’ll fuck you first.” He sucked some more butter-flavored goop off of his fingers. Jamie loved watching Coop put things in his mouth.

“Ok, just take it easy, Coop.”

“I always take it easy,” Coop said. “Promise not to scream like a girl?”

“I won’t make promises I can’t keep,” Jamie said. “At least your door is locked, huh?”

Coop spread the make-shift lube over his own engorged cock. Jamie liked watching him touch and handle himself. Then Coop easily picked up Jamie and got him into what seemed like a good position: Jamie was on his hands and knees. Coop leaned over him and his huge body surrounded Jamie, his stomach against his back and his big erection pressed up against Jamie’s entrance. He pushed.

Jamie screamed like a girl.

“Hey!”

“Hey yourself! Take it more slowly.”

“OK.” Coop tried to take it more slowly, but it was hard to do: Jamie felt so good! He pulled out and lay back on the bed. “Come here,” he said and pulled Jamie on top of him. “There, you fuck yourself.”

Jamie was in control, moving up and down, squirming and wiggling, impaled on Coop. He could watch Coop’s wide open eyes watching him with fascination and touch his large, round belly that he loved to touch. Then Coop thrust upwards a little, making Jamie moan loudly. “Oh yeah, that’s the spot.”

Jamie pushed back, making Coop’s erection press and pass over that sweet, sweet spot. He closed his eyes and rode him hard.

“Hell yeah! C’mon, fuck your big daddy!”

Jamie opened his eyes. “Big daddy?”

Coop grinned and pulled Jamie down again so that his entire cock was inside of Jamie. Jamie squirmed, feeling the burn and the sweet pleasure at the same time. Coop and Jamie began to move with greater synchronicity, joined. Coop was moaning now, too, his head thrashing back and forth and his hands gripping the sheets. He was sweating with the effort of thrusting upwards. When he opened his eyes, he saw Jamie’s stomach muscles tightening and that he was sweating, too.

Jamie came first, spurting hot liquid all over Coop’s belly. Then Coop came inside Jamie. His head rolled back and he felt better than ever. “Oh yeah,” Coop said. “Let’s do that again!”

Jamie collapsed on Coop’s stomach. “Dude! Give me a second! Why don’t you order a pizza or something?”

“Yeah, a pizza would be nice. You want one too?”

“Nah, just some breadsticks.” He rolled off Coop and watched him dial the numbers and order from Pizza Hutch. Then he curled himself into the crook of Coop’s arm. “Hey, Coop?”

“Huh?”

“You think we’re in love?”

“I dunno.” He squeezed Jamie closer. “But I’m really glad you’re along for the ride.”

THE END
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Along for the Ride