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Dude Looks Like a Lady	By : Tazzy Category: +M through R > Pirates of Dark Water Views: 1666 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Pirates of Dark Water, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Dude Looks Like a Lady
- 1
Dude Looks Like a Lady
By:Tazzy
Summary: His name was Myron.
Fandom: Pirates of Darkwater
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own these guys either....
Author’s Notes: This is in response to Scribe’s challenge and I can only blame the person on the list who originally brought up “Pirates of Darkwater”. I apologize if anyone’s out of character, but it’s been a long time since I’ve seen any of the episodes and I’ve just managed to track them down.

His name was Myron, which meant fragrant, and that explained a lot.

After going through his first decade of life being picked on by everyone and their scullery maid, Myron signed on as a cabin boy on a prosperous merchant ship that had managed to avoid gaining Bloth the Pirate King’s attention for years. With steady and hard work, Myron soon grew into a giant man, rivaling even Bloth’s staggering size and girth. Unfortunately, soon after, Myron’s ship was unlucky enough to cross the path of the Maelstrom and Myron ended up floating to Janda-town on a crude raft. Zoolie, an ex-mate of the Maelstrom, was willing to offer Myron a job to keep his gaming house free of troublemakers in exchange for room and board.

Myron, always willing for good food and a soft bed for little work, instantly agreed.

But, once more, his name became the blight of his life.

The tavern wenches thought that his name was funny and no matter how handsome he was (not considering the missing ear and the scars gained at sea) or how big he was, they couldn’t look at him with a straight face or even consider his propositions. Unwilling to give up, Myron continued to frequent the various taverns, hoping that one of the wenches would be willing to accept his business for the night and gradually drinking himself deeper into his cups.

It was one evening when his troubles really began. Myron had the night off and was once more drinking at one of the taverns, hoping that there was a new girl that hadn’t heard about his “pretty” name. With each raise of his mug, alcoholic haze clouded his mind and his vision until everyone was pretty much a vague blur when Myron caught sight of pale hair, delicate features and large blue eyes. None of the girls in this tavern had hair so pale yellow that it looked almost white, most of them leaning more towards brown or brunette coloring, and Myron knew that this lass was new in town.

“Are you sure this is where Zoolie said that he’d meet us, Ioz?” asked the girl as she moved past Myron’s table with a man with long brown hair and mustache, the long curved sword at his waist giving everyone an idea what his chosen profession was. If Myron had been a bit more sober, he might have realized that the so-called girl’s voice was a bit too deep to be feminine, but the ale had a firm grip on the poor lout and his denied lust an even firmer handhold.

Reaching out, Myron grabbed a slender wrist and pulled the blond haired beauty into his lap, wrapping his other arm around the slender waist. “Hello, lovely,” Myron slurred, grinning drunkenly at her in what he thought was an appealing manner. “Why don’t ya keep me company a while?”

“Let me go,” growled the girl, struggling to get out of his arms, but Myron wrapped his other arm around her and held her tighter. “Noi jitat! Release me, you son of a constrictus!”

Laughter echoed around them and Myron turned to glare at the man who was standing there. He had a shapely thing in pink standing next to him with green eyes and dark hair, but Myron was more interested in his blond beauty.

“Really, Ren, if you wish to spend time with this man, I’m sure Zoolie will understand,” the man, Ioz, announced as the girl giggled behind her hand.

A snarl was tossed at Ioz before those blue eyes turned on Myron again. “Look, this is all a big misunderstanding,” she began, trying to ease out of his arms but Myron only tightened his grip.

“No!” growled Myron, his lips bared in a snarl. “You’re mine tonight and I’m not gonna let you go, girl, so you’d better get use to the idea.” During her attempt to escape Myron’s arms, the tie holding her hair back had slipped free, sending the soft hair cascading around her shoulders and face.

“Do you think we should intervene?” the pink girl asked in a soft voice and Myron snarled at her. This girl was *his* and no one was going to scare her off, or worse, tell her about his name, not when he had her in his arms.

“I’m sure Ren can get out of this one, Tula,” Ioz drawled, humor evident in his voice.

The girl, Ren, tossed one of the saltiest curses Myron had ever heard at Ioz before resuming her struggles to get free. “If you don’t let me go *now*, you jitatin idiot, I’ll remove your useless eyes from your face.”

Myron chuckled and grabbed her chin, kissing her hard on the lips. She tasted of the sea and spice, a heady combination, and she was just strong enough to give Myron a bit of a challenge if he wanted to hold on to her. “I think I’m gonna keep you forever, Lovely,” purred Myron.

The sharp tip of a blade pricked his neck and Myron found himself sobering up as he realized two things. One, Ren was holding the broken yet still deadly sword at his throat, and two, Ren was just a bit too firm in all the wrong places to be a wench.

“Release me, or I swear on my father’s throne, that I will gut you like the pig you are!” hissed Ren, blue eyes flashing with a deadly fire and Myron knew better than to ignore that offer. Loosening his hold on the young blond man, Myron watched the amused faces of Ioz and the girl, Tula, as Ren slid out of his lap.

A small flash of pain accompanied a wet trickle at Myron’s throat. “A reminder that the next time someone says ‘Let Go’, you heed their advice,” stated Ren, sliding his broken sword back into his boot before turning and walking off through the tables with the dignity that only royalty could pull off.

“Zoolie’s going to be amused by this little turn of events,” Ioz’s voice floated through the whispering crowds and Ren’s groan of despair was matched by Myron’s own as the large ex-sailor caught sight of a cluster of wenches whispering and giggling behind their hands as they stared at him.

His name was Myron and he was the unluckiest sailor on the World of Mer when it came to love.

The End
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Dude Looks Like a Lady