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Revelation heartache	By : Estromale Category: +M through R > Rugrats / All Grown Up Views: 9001 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Rugrats, All Grown Up; nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Revelation heartache
- 1
I'd conjure up a second heart
To house your sweet pain
I'd love you so hard other folks
Won't have to strain to hear
I'd become your shadow
And haunt for just a taste of your want

Sweet Pain

Obviously, I don’t own any of the Rugrats characters, and am attempting to write this despite the fact that “All Grown Up” hasn’t had as many episodes as I’d like. On an off note…I’ve been thinking of doing this for awhile, and now I have the time to do it!

Kimi tiptoed through the Carmichael house and stepped out into the front porch, her hands cupping the cold glass of ice tea that she’d prepared herself. It wasn’t something Kimi particularly would do…in most instances, she could sleep on a dime. There were times like these, however, where she couldn’t sleep, and the only thing that calmed her down enough was walking around the house a little until she felt sleepy. Usually it was warm milk that did the trick (recommended by her father of course), but for some reason, she was sipping iced tea…and more disturbing than even that, she knew why.
Her hands couldn’t stop trembling, and she knew there wasn’t really anyone she could talk to besides Lil about this. Angelica she would never tell: no matter how she defended her, she knew better than to confide in her, especially something that would be gold to her. No, there was no doubt that she had to call Lil or…or, well, at least wait this out and go to bed and forget.
There was the creak of the door and Kimi looked up, her eyes registering her surprise. Rubbing her eyes was the person she was fretting about, the reason she was even thinking like this at all and the person who’d made the iced tea she was sipping. Susie Carmichael squinted at her younger friend. “Kimi? Are you all right? What are you doing up at this hour? It’s three thirty in the morning!”
Kimi faked a smile and stammered something about “not being able to sleep,” something mindless that she didn’t bother to think very thoroughly, hoping that Susie would buy it. The look of disbelief on the older girl’s face, however, told her that she’d have to lie a little better next time.
“Well, I’m up too, so we might as well do somethin’ about it, right? You wanna play a board game or somethin’?” Getting no reply from Kimi, Susie narrowed her eyes. “Kimi, you ok? You’re actin’ a little funny.”
“Oh, it’s nothing really!” Kimi stammered. “I…I just want you to put my hair up! It wouldn’t be a slumber party without you doing that at least once, right?”
“Kimi?” Susie started, but then shrugged. Pulling the younger girl’s hair out of its ponytail, she started to put it in braids, taking hair clips strewn on the living room table. She couldn’t understand, for the life of her, why her best friend was acting this way.
Could you Susie? Kimi thought sadly, keeping her face frozen in a tight smile. Do you know what its like, to keep pretending that I like guys, that I want to date them, be held by them, when you’re the only face I can think of when I hit the pillow? What would you think of your best friend then, Susie? Would you know that the harmless dare Phil had to kiss you in Truth or Dare made me feel like I was floating underwater? That I just wanted to keep kissing you, that I wanted to choke and die underwater like a swimmer who’s gone too far?
“You know,” the older girl began, “You can keep pretending that I’m not going to know what’s bothering you, but eventually you’re gonna tell me. You’re going to do it because there ain’t never been nothing that you couldn’t tell me, right? So what makes this different, and why is it so bad you gotta be walking around this early in the morning?”
Kimi smiled faintly. “I couldn’t sleep Susie, really! Otherwise I wouldn’t be letting you braid my hair! I was just feeling restless!”
“Mmm-hmm.” Susie said that reproachfully, knowing full well that whatever it was that Kimi was keeping from her, she’d find out momentarily.
“Susie...” Kimi started, turning a little red. “Do you remember when you got that gun out of my hair?”
“Sure,” Susie said. “God, I didn’t know you could scream so loud! Phil got punished well that day from his mom for popping it in your hair to see what it would do. I remember I was the only one you let get near it…you knew I’d be as gentle as I could.”
“Yeah,” Kimi chuckled. “And remember when you got hoodwinked by that bitch that said she’d have you on her label and you lost, like, a thousand dollars?”
“Yeah,” Susie said softly. “I could have been grounded for eternity for that. My sister always kept that secret…and so did you.” She beamed at Kimi. “Now that I think about it, if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have sung at the coffee shop that night. It hurt a lot.”
“I couldn’t see you waste your gift, now could I?” Kimi replied. “Angelica is queen of attitude, but you were queen of beauty and grace I couldn’t have.”
“What?” Susie turned a darker shade arounr chr cheeks. “Aw, come on now, I ain’t Angelica or Lil in looks…”
“Don’t say that!” Kimi said, her voice brimming with authority. “Angelica’s looks are nothing to yours, and Lil, well, I can’t see her looks because I’ve always seen her with Phil for so long, I couldn’t see her as anything but his sister. And that leaves you.”
There was a silence between them: it was awkward because Susie had never gotten a complement on her looks like that. Oh, there’d been good talk about her voice and determination, but boys just didn’t interest her. Forever Angelica’s polar opposite, the black girl couldn’t see what the big deal about dating and makeup was…not like Angelica, at least.
“You got any more stories about our childhood, or are you just gonna keep complimenting me all night?” Susie said, trying to sound funny even though her heart was beating fast, as if discovering what Kimi was getting at would affect her just as deeply it would the girl she treated like a younger sister.
“Just one more,” Kimi said. “Remember when I first got my period? Third period of class and I was surprised to have an unexpected one! Mom hadn’t told me because she figured I’d be told by Lil or you, but I just…didn’t know. I was a wreck!”
Susie couldn’t help but snicker. “Yeah, you were a real mess, girl! How it was I happened to be walking by musta been pure coincidence. You near told me you done bust a capillary in you or somethin’! It took all I could not to laugh!”
Kimi nodded. “Yeah…I don’t know why you act like the protective older sister with me, Susie. You have an older one, and you have a younger brother. You don’t really need any ely else to look after...I mean, you and Angelica…”
“…Are as different as night and day,” Susie interrupted. “If I had a problem with somebody young being my friend, believe me, we’d be talking about it, but since I don’t, calm down huh?”
“No, I can’t.” Kimi looked deep into Susie’s chocolate brown eyes, then her eyes traced the outline of the purple nightgown that hugged her beloved so well, showing every curve that Susie had developed that made Angelica insanely jealous: swelling breasts, wide hips and a smile that would melt butter. “I can’t calm down because…because…” Kimi’s eyes welled with guilty tears, and shook her hair away from Susie. “I can’t tell you, but I do have to stop being your friend. Don’t ask me why, its for the b…”
“Girl, please!” Susie said, projecting her own voice of authority. “There ain’t no way I’d stop being your friend, even if you said you were in love with me! Isn’t that what you’re trying to tell me?”
“I…” Kimi turned red. This wasn’t the way she was supposed to react, Susie said to herself, and then, there it was: the gradual shock that penetrated her whole body, an option strange enough to her Christian mode of thought. Her parents never spoke of homosexuals loftily, but there was an uneasy silence whenever they were mentioned: an icy silence of steel that tarnished the families’ otherwise tolerant outlook of people. Here it was now though, staring her in the face, there was that conversation stopper, that evil tarnished WORD…and yet Susie was not scared of it. No, to Susie it was a matter of regarding: the idea that anyone could find her so amazing, so kind, when she never she was anything like that. How could I, Susie thought. I was only doing what I’ve always done: stick up for the lower guy. Who would see that s anything worth regarding as beautiful?
And there was Kimi, sweet Kimi that she adored on levels even she was too cautious to explore: the way her hair flecked her lightly on the face, the way she felt when Kimi was a little near her and the lingering scent of lavender wafted her nose ever so slightly to bring a broad smile to her face and daydream. To consider Kimi as someone I love? There wascontcontest: what Kimi posed was not an impossible thing.
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Revelation heartache