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Not So Sweet Polly Purebred	By : Spook Category: +S through Z > Underdog Views: 5086 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Underdog, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Not So Sweet Polly Purebred
- 1
Author’s Notes
1. This is a strange story that’s set in the year 3000. Germ warfare got a bit out of hand in the year 2020, and millions of people became infected with a strange disease. People became mutated beings resembling felines and canines. There are 100 healthy humans, maybe more, maybe less, and they are on the endangered species list.
2. None of the characters represent any persons, dead or alive and no harm toward any specific persons that I know is intended.
3. Enjoy!

Riff-Raff checked his watch. It was eleven PM, and in half an hour, Polly Purebred would be leaving the building and heading for her car. Riff-Raff’s plan was a simple one. All he needed was Polly’s wallet, partly because he needed cash, and partly because if he got her wallet, then he could get his hands on her ID, and her address. And Polly would be too scared to tell anybody that she got robbed in a parking lot.
But of course, the whole plan was rigged so that she couldn’t tell anybody. In the pocket of Riff-Raff’s jacket, was some photographs that Petty Theft and her gang of bandits would just love to get their grimy little hands on. Petty was a pretty female dog who was a member of the underworld. Petty and her gang made tabloids. The members of the infamous Paparazzi colle pho photographs of famous people doing the most inappropriate of things and then sold them to Petty.
Riff-Raff was a little sick of robbing banks, and he had quite a reputation for being public enemy number one. So he figured that he could get some quick and easy cash two ways. He could sell the pictures to Petty Theft, or he could blackmail Polly Purebred. Blackmailing Polly sounded like much more fun, plus, who knows how long the blackmail could continue? Months, years, who knows? He could make tons of cash, and cash is how the underworld operates.
He was thinking of numbers. The original plan was to ask Polly for two hundred a week, but she probably wouldn’t be able to pay that much. Maybe two hundred a month, or a hundred a month would work. Riff-Raff was no math genius, but Sandy (who was called Calculator in grade school) have convinced him that working with smaller numbers would be easier. Polly would be able to pay them the required amount and still be able to support herself.
Dina Mite was the only cat in the gang, and as she puffed at a cigarette, she eyed Polly’s car, which was parked in a small space that was near a trashcan. Dina blew a ring of cigarette smoke at her older brother, Spinny Wheels, who could steal cars with great ease.
“Hey Spinny,” she said, “what time i?”
?”
“I dunno, Riff-Raff’s wearing the watch.”
Although Dina was a cat, her brother was a dog. Her mother was also a dog, and was completely shocked when she gave birth to a kitten. Dina was the black sheep of the family, so she had run away when she was ten and met up with Riff-Raff, who was ten years older than she was. Spinny had met up with them when he was arrested for stealing some fancy red car and brought to the juvenile hall. The facility, it was called, and it was there to purify the youngsters that roamed the streets. Unfortunately, the scumbags that were sent there left the place as anything but pure.
Riff-Raff had been there for illegal possession of drugs, and Dina was there for hiding some explosives in a crate of oranges. Explosives were cool. They were easy to build, easy to slip into boxes and bags, and easy to dispose of. And they were easy money, according to Dinah. Arsonists and terrorists paid her to build bombs for them.
When it came to getting money, Riff-Raff ran a number of small businesses that thrived. Dealing dope was the easiest way for a guy to make cash. Riff-Raff had worked the back alleys of New York for almost half his life. His parents hadn’t cared about him, and he had fallen in with the “wrong crowd.” When he was younger, he was easily persuaded to take small bags of white power or cigarettes or (on occasion) syringes filled with God-knows-what to other dope dealers for free. Now, he demanded a bit of a price.
Once Dina and Riff-Raff were arrested and brought to the facility. Riff-Raff hadn’t been too discrete about the dope he was carrying and Dina, well, the cops figured that she was a prostitute. Riff-Raff and Dina had met Sandy the Safecracker. Sandy was a dog, like Spinny, but he was incredibly small. His hands were smaller than Dina’s, and his fingers were thin. So thin, that he could shove them into locks and then pick the locks. Which was how he helped Spinny, Riff-Raff, and Dina escape from the juvenile hall.
Thus, a gang of juvenile delinquents, who later grew up to run the underworld, was formed. Of course, they had added two gang members since then. Sideswipe was a female kitten who could pick just about anybody’s pocket, and Mooch was a big dumb dog who was just in the gang because Riff-Raff owed him one. It was a shame that Sideswipe was in the gang. She was so little, so round, and her fur was so fuzzy; she was like a toddler with and adolescent’s brain. She was just a kitten.
“It’s eleven-twenty,” said Riff-Raff, eyeing the door. Any minute, Polly would come out into the darkened parking lot. Sandy lit a cigarette, and smoked it for a few minutes.
Sideswipe slowly reached into Riff-Raff’s pocket. She had heard the gang talking of nothing but blackmailing Polly with the pictures, but they wouldn’t let her see them.
“She’s got virgin eyes,” Dina had said.
Virgin eyes, yeah right! Sideswipe desperately wanted to see the pictures. Suddenly, Riff-Raff spun around and grabbed her wrist.
“What do you want?” he snarled.
“I want to see the pictures,” she said.
“Back off, you little brat,” he snapped. Sideswipe glared at him, and waited until he had lit a cigar before slipping her small hands into his pocket.
This time, she got the envelope. She slowly backed away from him, and hid behind a Dumpster. She opened the envelope and removed one of the pictures. Polly was in it all right, but so was somebody else. A superhero with a nerdy voice by the name of Underdog was also in the picture.
Now, there were very few cat and dog like creatures that could fly (and they were all in
laboratories being examined by scientists), but what Underdog could do, was beyond belief. His fur was so thick, that bullets could not penetrate it, and he had also been blessed with super-strength and X-ray vision. And for some odd reason, he used his powers for the good of the people. He saved lives and threw criminals in jail. Luckily for Riff-Raff, he couldn’t always keep them there.
Underdog was a scrawny mutt with tan fur and floppy black ears. He had big black eyes. He always wore red jeans and a baggy red T-shirt with a big white U on the front. Attached to the shoulders to the shirt was a light blue cape that flapped in the wind, making him look somewhat noble.
Sideswipe stared at the picture. Underdog was there with his arms around Polly, kissing the side of her neck. This is a pretty good picture; Polly would pay big bucks to keep it out of the tabloids, thought Sideswipe as she flipped through the pictures. Polly and Underdog were in all of them, kissing and making out.
Sideswipe quickly put the pictures away and slowly slipped the envelope into Riff-Raff’s pocket. The door to the building opened, and Sideswipe’s ears twitched as she heard the click-click of Polly’s high heeled shoes against the pavement. Any moment now, she would open her purse and look for her keys. Sideswipe knew this from watching her many times before.
“Come on, gang,” whispered Riff-Raff as he put the cigar out and started to slowly approach Polly, who was digging through her purse, trying to find her keys. Sideswipe and Dina slithered to the other side of the parking lot and to the passenger side of Polly’s car. Mooch and Sandy crept to the back of the car.
Polly had managed to find her keys and was unlocking the door, unaware that anyone was in the parking lot with her. That was when Riff-Raff grabbed her. He slammed one hand over her mouth and with the other shoved his handgun against her left temple. Polly’s eyes when wide as the rest of the gang moved in around her. Mooch and Sandy crept out from behind the car, as did Spinny. Dina and Sideswipe popped up like jack-in-the-boxes, watching Polly’s every move with their glowing eyes.
“All right,” said Riff-Raff, “I’m gonna move my hand, but if you make any noise, I’m gonna kill you. Understand?”
Polly nodded, and he moved his hand.
“What do you want?” she asked quietly.
“The purse,” replied Riff-Raff, “give me the purse and you won’t get hurt.”
And all of a sudden, Polly felt angry. Hyes yes got narrow, and she gripped her purse tighter. They’ve got no right to do this to me, she thought bitterly, I’m not about to give my purse to some outlaw who’ll probably use my ID to find out where I live. She slowly turned around to face Riff-Raff, who cocked the gun.
“Give me the purse,” he said.
“No.”
“Do you want to die?” he asked.
Suddenly, Polly grabbed the gun, pulling it away from her head and trying to get it away from Riff-Raff. There was a loud bang, and the gun went off. Dina screamed as the bullet grazed her arm. She fell to the ground as the bullet shattered a car window. Riff-Raff started cursing, and he tried to hold on to the gun.
Sandy, Spinny, and Mooch rushed over to Dina, who was on the ground, screeching, swearing, and bleeding. Polly stared in shock at what had happened, partly because Dina was making enough noise to wake the dead, and partly because her fingers had slipped and hit the trigger, causing the gun to go off. So if she was brought to court for this, she’d be tossed in prison for sure. Her purse fell to the ground, but she was unaware of it. She whirled around to face Riff-Raff.
Polly pulled the gun and suddenly it was in her hands. She aimed it at Riff-Raff, who slowly started to back away from her. Sideswipe crawled under the car and over to where Polly was standing. She slowly reached into the purse, which had fallen onto the ground. She pulled out the wallet with her blood-covered hands and opened it. She took the money, not that there was much, and shoved it down the front of her Abercombie and Fitch tank top. She also removed the ID, and, since she couldn’t shove down her tank top, she put it in the pocket of her navy blue sweatshirt, which was unzipped. Then she put the wallet in Polly’s purse and started to crawl backwards. She reached Dina, who had her hand over her wound. Blood was dribbling down between her fingers, and Dina’s teeth were clenched in pain.
“Get away from me,” snarled Polly, “you and your gang, get out of here.”
“OK, OK, we’re leaving.”
Riff-Raff turned and walked away. The gang followed. Polly picked up her purse, then she threw the gun into a trash-filled alley.
Riff-Raff was headed for the alley, and he found the gun lying on top of some old newspapers. Sideswipe showed him the money and the ID she had stolen from Polly, and Riff-Raff had to admit that he was pleased, because the fact that a cute, fuzzy kitten was capable of stealing was pretty amazing to him. He would have gone straight to Polly’s apartment, but the gang had to head home because of Dina’s arm.
Dina trailed along after them, holding back her tears. The minute they got to their underground lair, Sideswipe helped her tend to her wounded arm. After wrapping it many times over in thick bandages, it stopped bleeding, and Dina was all right. Sideswipe sashayed over to Riff-Raff and handed him Polly’s ID. Dina grabbed her arm and pulled her back.
“The boy is mine,” she hissed, “stop flirting with him.”
“Would you rather I hit on your brother?”
“I don’t care who you flirt with, as long as it isn’t my man, understand?”
“I get you.”
Sideswipe retreated to the shadowy corner of the dimly lit room as Dina slowly put her arms around Riff-Raff and kissed him. Sideswipe turned away as Riff-Raff started kissing her back. She had had the biggest crush on him ever since he had helped her escape from a bunch of cops who were in hot pursuit of her.
Now it had been stupid of her to try and steal a cop’s wallet in the first place, but she had had no idea that there had been sny ony of them in the area. They had chased after her like rabid wolves, and her short limbs would only carry her so far before she got tired. That was when Riff-Raff had grabbed her and shoved her into his jacket. He then bolted, heading for Dina’s apartment.
Of course when they had gotten there, he had apologized for his actions, and told her that he admired her skills at picking pockets. Dina offeoffered her a cigarette, and Sideswipe had choked on it. She was thirteen at the time, still a cute little kitten with no family and no home. Actually, she had lived in the back of a jewelry store belonging to a dog named Tap-Tap. He was a jeweler, and had caught her stealing an expensive pearl necklace, taken her money, and thrown her out.
After that, she had tagged along with the gang when they robbed banks and jewelry stores. She wove in and out of the crowds and stole dozens of wallets, purses, and jewelry. Nobody knew how she felt about Riff-Raff, and nobody cared, except maybe Dina, who was always saying ‘The boy is mine, so stay away!’
Sideswipe watcthemthem kiss for a moment, her head tilted at an angle. Sandy approached her and nudged her.
“You taking notes?” he asked.
“Notes on what?”
“Kissing.”
“Nah.”
“Hey Riff-Raff,” called Sandy, “you gonna get lucky tonight?”
“Go away, Sandy,” muttered Riff-Raff, as Dina pulled away from him and started fixing her wavy blondir. ir.
She was a pretty cat, with big green eyes and ginger-colored fur that gleamed in the sunlight. Whenever she saw the sun, that is. She looked at Riff-Raff, who was devouring her with his eyes. She shook her head and turned away. The only thing that she didn’t like about him was his idea of a date, which was simply driving to some deserted area and “having fun” in the backseat of his car. If Sideswipe weren’t in the gang, then Dina would just dump him.
And yet Dina knew that if she didn’t give him what he wanted, then Sideswipe would, and even if she was four, Ri, Riff-Raff wouldn’t care. As long as he was with somebody, he just wouldn’t care.
Sideswipe got out a pack of cards and sat on the floor. She started playing solitaire. Mooch, Sandy, and Spinny sat down at a large round table, smoking and playing poker. Sideswipe wanted to play too, but they never let her.
“You’re too young,” they said, “poker’s no game for babies.”
But she wasn’t a baby, she was almost fifteen. Sideswipe glared at the cards as she placed a queen of hearts over a king of spades. It just wasn’ir. ir. Riff-Raff put his arms around Dina’s waist, but she pulled away from, shaking her head.
“Riff-Raff,” she said, “if my brother sees us he’ll kill you, and Sideswipe’s too young to see this.”
“I’m used to it,” said Sideswipe, looking up from the cards that were in a scattered heap in front of her.
“You’re fourteen,” said Dina, “who could you have possibly seen doin’ it?”
“I worked for Tap-Tap the jeweler, and I had no home, so he let me live in the back of his shop,” said Sideswipe, ”Tap-tap was a ‘lady’s man.’ He’d go out to some bar and he’d pick up some chick, and they’d ‘get busy’ in the back room.”
“And how’d you see all this?” asked Riff-Raff, turning to her.
“I slept in the back room under a pile of clothes,” replied Sideswipe, examining a seven of clubs. “I’m little, so they didn’t see me, and I have insomnia. I’d lie awake for a couple hours, then he’d come in with some and and they’d have their fun.”
“And he knew you were there?”
“He thought I was sleeping.”
“That’s sick,” said Dina, “that’s just sick.”
Riff-Raff shrugged and examined his watch. It was midnight. He grinned and signaled to the gang. Sandy started packing up the cards. Spinny put out his cigar, and Mooch stood up. Sideswipe jumped to her feet, leaving the cards scattered. Riff-Raff pulled Polly’s ID out of his pocket.
“It’s show time,” he whispered.
ly hly had a headache when she got home, and headed for the bathroom, where the medicine cabinet was. There was a strange, nauseating feeling in the pit of her stomach. She opened the bottle of aspirin and gulped down two of the little white pills. From there, she went into her room and sat down on the bed. She put her purse down next to her, then she noticed a small red object in it. It was a red spot on her black wallet. She picked her wallet out. The red spot was a fingerprint. Polly frantically opened her wallet.
Her cash, not that there had been much, was gone, and so was her ID. Oh no, thought Polly, that kitten must’ve crawled around the car and gotten my purse. But no, she had been holding her purse. Or had she? She remembered holding the gun with two hands. So she must have dropped it.
Then wouldn’t she have seen the kitten going through it? No. Both of the cats were on the other side of the car. One of them had been wounded and was screaming. The other one, the kitten, must have touched the wound, or tried to stop the bleeding. Then, when the bleeding had stopped, the kitten must have crawled under the car in order to get the purse.
It made sense. The kitten was tiny, and she had been wearing jeans and a T-shirt. So she wouldn’t have cared about getting her clothes dirty. Damn cat, thought Polly, as she made her way to the front door to make sure it was locked.
Suddenly, there was a tap at the bedroom window. Polly’s heart almost stopped beating, and she raced to the bedroom. The window was open. Polly looked around, and, ng nng no one, figured that the window had been open to begin with. She slowly crossed the room to close the window. She heard a loud knocking at the door, and the lights started to flicker and flash.
Polly went over to the kitchen and got a butcher knife out of a drawer. That gang will be coming back, she thought, and I’ll be ready for them.

Mooch and Spinny had climbed into the basement of the apartment building via the cracked windows. They had found the fuse box, but Spinny couldn’t reach so Mso Mooch had to lift him, which he hated because it made him look like a homosexual. Spinny took a screwdriver and started tampering with the fuses. Sideswipe and Dina were also in the basement. Sandy was with Riff-Raff, picking the lock on the door to Polly’s apartment. Dina was holding a flashlight, and Sideswipe was simply waiting. Then they heard the whe.
e.
Riff-Raff was whistling. He used a series of whistles to call his gangsters. One whistle meant the gang should come, two whistles meant Dina, three meant Sideswipe, and so on and so forth. There was only one whistle. Sideswipe groaned as she and the gang climbed the basement stairs and started looking for him. Riff-Raff was at the end of the hall, near Polly’s apartment. Sandy was with him, holding one of Dina’s old hairpins and using it to pick the lock on the door to Polly’s apartment.
“Yeah, why are we here?” asked Sideswipe.
“Sandy’s goopenopen the door, and we’re gonna sneak on in,” said Riff-Raff. He turned to Mooch, Sandy, and Spinny. “You guys head back to the basement. Cause a little blackout or something.”
They left.
“What do we do when we’re in?” asked Sideswipe.
The kitten was asking questions, which annoyed Riff-Raff.
“The pictures,” said Riff-Raff, “we’re blackmailing Polly, remember?”
“I remember.”
“Good,” said Riff-Raff, “now Sideswipe, you go in first. Distract Polly, keep her busy unwe gwe get there, OK?”
The lights flashed violently, and then went out. There was a sharp click from the lock, and Sandy eased the door open. Sideswipe took a deep breath and entered.

The apartment was very dark, but being a feline, Sideswipe had no trouble seeing. She passed the bathroom on her hands and knees. All of a sudden, Polly appeared in front of her. Polly’s back was to Sideswipe, and she was holding a butcher knife. Polly noticed a strange smell in the air. Being a canine, she had a sense of smell that was far superior to that of a feline. She sniffed the air, and spun around. Sideswipe dived under a table, but she wasn’t fast enough. Polly had seen her.
Polly pounced on the little kitten, stabbing at her with the butcher knife. Sideswipe moved her head just as the knife came crashing down. It hit the floor, and became stuck there. Sideswipe screamed, and she felt the floor vibrate as Riff-Raff and Dina came charging to her rescue.
Polly heard them too, and she jumped up just in time to see them. All she could think to do was fight them. She balled her hand into a fist and swung it at Riff-Raff. To her surprise, it hit him in the mouth. Riff-Raff fell back against a coffee table. Dina started to back away, as Riff-Raff, his lower lip bleeding, started to advance on Polly.
She glared at him, unafraid. Riff-Raff tried to grab her, but she slapped him. His head snapped back for a second or two, then it returned to its normal position.
“Get out of here,” she snarled, baring her teeth.
“You’ll have to make me,” said Riff-Raff, leering at her.
“You want me to hit you again?”
“Go ahead and try.”
Polly swung at him, but Sideswipe sprang up behind her and grabbed her, pinning her arms behind her back. Riff-Raff started laughing.
“Well Polly,” he said, “I am here for a reason.”
“What is it?”
“I have a few pictures of you with a certain someone.”
Sideswipe let go of Polly, and she stood there, staring at Riff-Raff in complete shock. No, he couldn’t have pictures of her and Underdog, could he?
“What?” asked Polly.
“I have photos of and and Underdog,” said Riff-Raff, “ and let’s just say that you’re, how should I put this…behaving most inappropriately. Have you heard of my friend Petty Theft? She runs the tabloids, and I forgot to get her a birthday present. Her birthday’s coming up, you know. But I’ll tell you what, if you pay us, oh, say a hundred bucks a month, and we’ll keep this our li sec secret.”
“No!”
Suddenly, Polly charged at him, knocking him over. The envelope full of pictures fell from his pocket, but being fully absorbed in the fight, he was oblivious to it. He shoved her off of him, and jumped to his feet. Polly bounced back up like a jack-in-the-box, and swung at him, catching him in the cheek. Riff-Raff swore at her, and Sideswipe started to creep up on Polly.
Sideswipe picked the lamp up off the coffee table and hit Polly over the head with it. Polly spun around, unaffected by the blow. Sideswipe backed up and tried to run, but Polly grabbed her. Sideswipe screamed as Polly wound the lamp’s cord around her neck. Tighter and tighter and tighter she wound it.
Dina grabbed Polly, digging her claws into the back of her neck, but Polly ignored the pain. Dina screamed, screeched, and swore, but Polly was able to keep her frantic hands away from Sideswipe. Sideswipe’s desperate eyes shut and she became limp. All of a sudden, Polly realized what she had done. She let go of the cord, and Sideswipe’s body fell to the ground. Polly dropped to her knees beside the little body.
Instead of seeing a fourteen-year-old juvenile delinquent, she saw a little girl. A lost little girl, who’s only home had been a dingy little place that she had to share with a bunch of gangsters. Polly started to cry. She had just murdered a little girl who was only trying to protect her “family.”
Dina let out a loud wail that sounded like a dying animal, and she rushed over to Sideswipe’s body. Riff-Raff grabbed her arm and pulled her back.
“Let me go,” she said.
“Dina, we’re leaving.”
Dina protested, but Riff-Raff was able to shove her out of the room.
“I’ll get you for this, Polly Purebred,” threatened Dina.
Polly stared at the dead kitten for a moment or two, then she reached out and touched her wrist. She gently lifted the arm, and started feeling for a pulse. She almost keeled over when she found one.
Almost immediately, she jumped up aan tan to the bathroom. Polly turned on the sink and put a washcloth under the freezing cold water that shot from the faucet. Then she returned to Sideswipe, who was still lying on the floor, unconscious and started dabbing at her forehead. Sideswipe’s big green eyes opened, and she stared at the ceiling for a moment or two.
“Where’s Dina and Riff-Raff?” she asked.
“They left,” Polly replied.
“You called the cops, didn’t you?” asked Sideswipe, sitting up.
“Well if I had, wouldn’t you be in a hospital or a morgue?”
Sideswipe slowly stood up, as did Polly.
“You mean, they just left me here?”
“Yes.”
“No!” cried Sideswipe, bursting into tears. “No! They’re my family! I’m one of them, they can’t do this!”
Polly put her arm around Sideswipe. Sideswipe pulled away from her and started to stumble through the apartment and to the kitchen, where the fire escape was. Polly chased after her, fearing for her safety.
“Sideswipe, come back!” she called. “Don’t worry. We’ll get you to a foster home or something.”
“No! I’ve been from foster home to foster home and I’ve been kicked out of everyone of them!” cried Sideswipe as she shattered the window with her fist and climbed out. Then she disappeared down the cold metal ladder and into the night. They’re probably outside waiting for me, she thought.
Yeah right. She got down there, and saw no one. There were no signs of life on the cold, lonely streets. Well Sideswishe she asked herself, you have no home, no money, and no friends. So now what? I take care of myself, she replied. I can get a job, maybe rent a room, and maybe make a few friends. But deep down inside, she didn’t believe it.
She dried her tears and started to wander around, staying in the shadows and avoiding the cops (not that there were many) that were out making sure the neighborhood was a safe place. Sideswipe ducked into an alley and sat down on a pile of dirty clothes, exhausted.
Suddenly, the pile moved. Sideswipe jumped up, terrified. A puppy sat up. He had been sleeping under the clothes before she had woken him. He had golden-brown fur and beady blue eyes that looked much larger because he was wearing glasses. His fur was ruffled, and needed to be washed. He was wearing a dirty white T-shirt and jeans that were ripped in the knees. He shook his head, and his floppy black ears bounced up and down. He looked at Sideswipe.
“Who are you?” he asked, finally.
“That’s none of your business,” she shot back.
“Whatever.”
He lay down again.
“What time is it?” he asked.
“How should I know?”
“You’re wearing a Rolex.”
“Oh…” she looked at her watch. “It’s 12:30 AM.”
“Well in that case you can shut up and get out of here,” he said.
Sideswipe didn’t leave. She looked around, and noticed a wooden box that was marked SHINE. The N was backwards. So, she thought, this is where Danny lives.
Danny was a humble, loveable puppy dog who shined shoes for a living. He had no home, but only charged a buck for a shoeshine. Sideswipe turned to him, her hands on her hips and a grin on her face.
“So, what happened to being humble and loveable?” she asked.
“You’d be cranky too if you were sleeping and somebody sat on you,” was his only reply.
“Do you live here?”
“Would I be sleeping here if I didn’t?”
“Guess not.”
Sideswipe sat down again. She was curious about the cute little puppy that she had accidentally sat on.
“Hey, Danny,” she said, “can I live here, too?”
“That depends on who you are and why you want to live here,” he replied, not looking at her.
“Well, my name is Sideswipe,” she said, “and my mom threw me out.”
“Why’d she do that?” he asked, rolling over to face her.
“I dunno,” she replied, “I guess she didn’t love me.”
“I never had parents.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Must’ve been great,” she said.
“Oh yeah,” he said sarcastically, “nobody to help you make a living, nowhere to live, nothing to eat but edible garbage. It’s great!”
“Well I’ve lived in my share of foster homes, and nobody wanted me,” she said.
“So how’d you survive on the streets?”
“I dunno,” she lied, “I begged. Tried to get jobs, but I had to beg, ‘cause I’m too young to get a job.”
He looked at her. It was clear that she was lying. Her black fur was clean. Her claws were filed down evenly, and her jet-black hair was smooth and shiny in the moonlight. She must’ve been living somewhere with a faucet, or a shower. Her clothes were clean. Not only clean, but expensive.
The white tank top she was wearing had the Abercombie and Fitch logo on it and the denim Capri pants (the kind that ended about three or four inches below her knee) had an Old Navy logo on them. Over the tank top, she was wearing a dark blue sweatshirt with a hood. It had the word GAP written on it and it was unzipped. She was wearing Nike kerskers.
Yeah, thought Danny, this one did not come off the streets. She was smoothing her wavy black hair in an aristocratic manner. Then she looked at him.
“What’re you staring at?” she asked.
“Your clothing.”
“What about it?”
“It’s expensive clothing,” he said, “if you were thrown out of your house, and you have no job, how can you afford it?”
“I went back to my house and stole some of my sister’s stuff,” she lied.
“Oh.”
He didn’t believe her, but he was tired and wanted to sleep. He rolled over and dozed off, sleeping lightly incase the cat, Sideswipe, or whatever the heck her name was, tried to mug him.
There was a distant rumbling sound. It was the sound of thunder. A raindrop fell, hitting Danny in the head. He sat up. Sideswipe was staring at the sky. She looked at him for a moment, as if asking what they should do. Danny got up and went over to a garbage heap.
After rummaging around for a bit, he pulled out an old, moth-eaten umbrella and handed it to Sideswipe. Sideswipe looked at him as if he was crazy, then she opened it. The two white moths that had been living there flew out as she did, but she put it above her head, protecting herself from the rain.
Danny rooted around in the garbage a little bit more, and finding no other umbrella, picked up his stuff and sat next to Sideswipe. There wasn’t enough room for two people under the umbrella.
“We’ve got to share.”
“No way, get your own.”
His only reply was a cough, which brought him into a coughing fit. Sideswipe started feeling sorry for him. She handed it to him, but he shook his head.
“If you want it that bad, then take it,” he said hotly.
“We can share,” she said. “You hold it, and I’ll sit on your lap, and we can fall asleep.”
He stared at her.
“But if you start harassing me, I’ll kill you,” she said.
He nodded, and she climbed onto his lap, curling herself up into a little ball. There was another rumbling sound, and lightning left its jagged mark against the sky. I do not want to stay here, thought Sideswipe. Maybe I’ll go back to Polly’s apartment. Maybe the gang’s back. Or maybe she’ll take me in. Either or, it would be good for her. She got up and turned to Danny.
“Sorry,” she said, “I don’t sleep in alleys.”
And she turned and walked away. Danny looked after her, puzzled, and then shrugged his shoulders and fell asleep.
Sideswipe pulled her hood over her ears and went to Polly’s apartment building. She started climbing the fire escape. The window to the kitchen of Polly’s apartment was still smasopenopen, and Sideswipe carefully climbed inside. In the darkness, she could see muddy footprints on the floor. Somebody wearing high heels had walked through the kitchen. The footprints were small, smaller than Polly’s, so another woman was here.
Sideswipe was about to leave, when she heard a muffled cry. The gang’s probably here, she thought, and she dropped to her knees and crawled out into the hall. There was a light on in Polly’s bedroom, and the door was partway open. Sideswipe crouched in the doorway.
Polly was sitting on the bed. Sandy the Safecracker was seated behind her. One of his hands was over her mouth, and the other one was up her shirt. Polly’s eyes were wide with fright. Spinny and Mooch were seated on either side of her, each holding tightly to her arm, twisting it around so her palms faced the ceiling. Dina stood in front of her, wielding a shaving razor.
“C’mon, Dina,” complained Sandy, “can’t I have a little fun with her?”
“Shut up you pervert,” snapped Dina, “we’re gonna make this look like suicide.”
“But nobody will know…”
“If they do an autopsy, then they will. We’re making this look like suicide, not murder.”
Sideswipe started to grit her teeth. This gang had deserted her. They had forsaken her. It’s payback time, she thought. Dina started moving the razor toward Polly’s upturned wrists. Sideswipe lost all control and sprang from the shadows. She landed on Dina’s shoulders and sank her teeth into the cat’s neck.
Dina threw her head back and screeched. The razor fell to the floor. Sandy, Spinny, and Mooch sprang up and pulled Sideswipe away from Dina. Blood was running down the side of Dina’s neck, and she was staring at Sideswipe in terror.
“You’re…you’re alive?” she asked softly, backinay fay from the wet kitten that was being restrained.
“Damn right I am,” snapped Sideswipe as the gangsters dropped her.
“She’s a zombie,” whispered Sandy.
Sideswipe whirled around, glaring at him.
“What were you saying, Sandy dear?” she asked.
“Nothing!” He lied, “nothing at all!”
Dina picked up the razor.
“C’mon, Sideswipe,” she said, ”let’s kill the girl who strangled you.”
“Howut wut we kill the gang who gave me up?” asked Sideswipe, “you guys didn’t even bring me back to the hideout.”
There was a crashing sound, and Dina found herself buried under ceiling plaster woodwooden ceiling beams. Her head popped up for one brief moment, then she quickly dived back into her hiding place. Underdog had come crashing through the ceiling.
It was the flying canine’s usual entrance. The scrawny mutt wearing that ugly baggy costume almost always entered through ceilings, closed doors, or closed windows. He just liked smashing things. Sandy started to back away.
“Don’t think that I don’t know what you did, you pervert,” snarled Underdog, glaring at him.
“Hey, man,” said Sandy, trying to play it cool, “no hard feelings, right?”
He was trembling as Polly went over to him and grabbed him by the ears.
“No hard feelings?” she asked, “I don’t think so.”
She then slammed his head into the wall. Sandy let out a cry, and Dina saw a thin stream of blood trickle down his face and into one of his eyes. He twisted free of Polly and started to stumble blindly through the room. Underdog grabbed him, and started punching him.
Dina shut her eyes and shrank back into the pile of rubbish as Polly approached her. She started digging through the ceiling beams. Dina opened her eyes and bounced back up, catching Polly by surprise. Dina pushed her, and started running. Her high-heels clunked against the linoleum kitchen floor, and she paused for a moment to remove them. Polly was on her.
Dina swung her shoe at Polly, catching her in the forehead. Polly staggered back, caught off-guard, and Dina ran out into the hall. Spinny was out there. He grabbed her arm and pulled her down the stairs. Dina was trembling and babbling crazily.
“I’m scared, Spinny,” she said, her high voice rapid with fright, “I’m scared. She’s gone nuts; she’s trying to kill us. I’m scared, Spinny, I’m, - “
“Dina snap out of it!”
He slapped her hard across the face. Dina froze, her mouth hanging open. Spinny put his arm around her and guided her to the parking lot, where he had parked the sleek black getaway car. He opened one of the doors for her, and she climbed inside.
“I’m going back to get Sandy and Mooch,” he said, “you stay here.”
She nodded and he disappeared. Then she started to cry.

Sandy was also crying. Of course, he was trying not to show it, but tears were rolling down his face. Yes, he had done a sick, sick thing, but he had apologized. Maybe apologies weren’t good enough.
“Get lost, you sicko,” snarled Underdog, as he dragged Sandy to the open doorway and into the hall.
“OK, I’ll leave,” mumbled Sandy, “just let me go.”
“All right, I’ll let you go.”
Sandy didn’t like Underdog’s tone, but didn’t have time to respond. In a matter of seconds, he was air born. Sandy’s eyes went wide as his face collided with the first stair. He toppled head over heels down the long flight of stairs. Pain zigzagged through his body as he came to a stop.
Someone was standing over him, staring down at him. Or maybe there were two people. Twins, perhaps. Yeah, thought Sandy, twins. Maybe they’re angels. Yeah, I’m dead, thought Sandy.
“Are you an angel?” he asked.
“Um, no.”
The voice was familiar. The figure bent closer to Sandy, but all of a sudden, the world went black.

Spinny lifted his unconscious cohort, and slung him over his shoulder. Sandy, he thought, you always get yourself in trouble. You think you’re such a hit with the ladies, and you harass them, and you get in trouble. Spinny shook his head as he opened the car door and dumped Sandy on the seat beside Dina.
“e dee dead?”
“Nah, just knocked out.”
Even so, Dina slid as far away from him as possible.
“I’m going back in,” said Spinny.
But there was suddenly no need for that. Mooch sauntered over to them, holding Sideswipe by the back of her neck.
“Hi Spinny,” he said.
“And where were you when Sandy here got his butt kicked down a flight of stairs?” asked Spinny, turning to Mooch with his hands on his hips.
“I got scared of Underdog,” said Mooch, “so I grabbed Sideswipe and left.”
“Yeah, now put me down!” snarled Sideswipe.
“OK.”
He dropped Sideswipe. She landed in a puddle, creating a large splash.
“Sorry.”
“You’d better be, you dumb mutt.”
Mooch climbed into the passenger’s seat and Spinny into the driver’s. Sideswipe scrambled into the backseat with Dina and the unconscious Sandy. The car started and pulled out of the parking lot.

Underdog turned to Polly. Her arms were folded across her chest, and she was standing by the window. It was the window that had been shattered by Sideswipe’s small, angry fist, and a cool, gentle breeze blew through Polly’s short white hair. She turned to him slowly, and he could see the blue bruise that was made by Dina’s high-heeled shoe.
He approached her slowly. He was holding the envelope with the photos in it. He handed them to her. She took them silently and put them in the sink. Then she turned on the water. Scalding hot water came splashing down on the photos and the negatives that were tucked away in the small white envelope.
She turned to him silently, and he put an arm around her. She leaned on him for a moment, then she pulled away slowly.
“I’m tired,” she said, and she went into her room.
Underdog stood there for a moment or two, then he turned off the water, picked up the pictures, and climbed out of the window and flew out into the night.
- 1
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Not So Sweet Polly Purebred