Nice slice of life between Lincoln and Clyde, and breaking and entering... snickers for fun and profit! God that just screams Loud House craziness.
I'm positive that Lisa watches over her older siblings as 6-8 year old guardian scientist (she ain"t no angel but she's pretty darn cool too.) especially for her big brother.
So he's changing huh, hopefully not to much, i would understand his reflexes and body becoming stronger and durable too a degree, but hopefully nothing like needing whole people to sustain himself for physical changes... but if he gets a little bigger standing soldier I won't complain.
Howdy, I would like to say that the start of your story is pretty good and already with Lynn and Lincon flirting like this is "fun" and I'm eager for more. Sorry about Luan and Benny but she was too good for him. (Just mine and Lincoln's personal opinions.)
I love how Lucy is waiting to make her move instead of attacking right away it will make her more horny
Really liking where this fix is going. Was surprised to see that Lisa got included. Most don't even write her into fics. Looking forward to the next chapter with Lucy.
So far it is shaping up nicely. I look forward to the next chapter
cant wait for more
Really good so far havent come across one thats had this good of a story for awile definitely found it funny what videos Lisa was looking at and cant wait for lucy to make her move
Loving the story so far can’t wait to see what you have in story for the other sisters
[SPOILERS for chapter 2:]
--So, looks like Lincoln's bodily houseguests are making some improvements, in several areas. I'll be interested to see how far they go in changing him. This is giving me flashbacks to one of my favorite episodes of Futurama.
--I'm also curious to know where you're going with the Clyde-crushing-on-Ronnie-Anne thing. I realize that it's probably not a major plot point, but I doubt you would have brought it up if you weren't planning to do something with it.
--So Clyde likes outdated videogames, and Lisa enjoys working on an outdated computer (which even makes 80s references). Could there be friendship in their future? I dare not hope for more than that, given that Clyde is 13 and Lisa is 6. Then again, this is AdultFanFiction...
Looking forward to reading on.
This is interesting so far. Some comments:
--The opening scene really caught my attention, as I found myself speculating about what was going on. At first, I thought maybe it was Lisa's memories of being in the womb (some child geniuses claim to have memories from infancy or earlier), but the bit with the petri dish made me realize that that first scene must have taken place inside it. Now I'm guessing that Lincoln has himself a new relationship--of the symbiotic variety.
--I noticed a few punctuation issues here and there, but nothing that seriously interrupted the flow.
--Lincoln's “dog from space” idea seems like a reference to something, but I'm not sure what.
--The bit about Leni checking out secondary schools was confusing. In the US, "secondary school" refers to junior high and high school. Leni would be 18 by this time and would be finishing or finished with high school.
--I liked the scene where Lynn flashed Lincoln, and the way you made it more believable with the bit about Lana's skunk. Naturally, I'm hoping you'll take Lynn and Lincoln's unusual relationship further. :)
--“Using them for cheap titillation would be wrong” made me laugh out loud. And I like the way you write Luan in general.
I'll be interested to see where you're going with all of this. Keep on keeping on!