rate_review Reviews

Of course, you're welcome for the review. I like the new turn of events in this chapter, and I can't wait to see what happens next. I'd also like to acknowledge that your grammar was a lot better this time around, so thanks for the good work and good luck on the next chapter.

Aysha

Glad to see more, even such a short chap. I really liked the descriptions of Shego stroking Kim's belly with her tail, the stubble on her sex, etc. hope to read more of that. A good tail fcking is always hot, bring on the eggs!!

Not bad but your grammer is off in a lot of ways. for example (Looking down at her body. She seen it was bruised, and scratched all over.) Should be written: {Looking down at her body. She saw that it was bruised and scratched all over.} there are several places in your story where you used "seen" where you should have used "saw" There are a lot of other mistakes but I don't have the time to be a beta for anyone. I'll give you one more hint though. You can, but you dont have to use a comma afte the word (and) you should only do it if you want to emphasize a pause at that point, or if you are giving a list of things like "Kim's youn, soft, and perky breast."

Hope that helps a little; if you keep writting this story I will read it and maybe make ferther suggestions.

Huh, I can't believe there are no reviews. Slow start, but Kim's deflowering was great. I want more abuse of Kim, don't rescue her! Hopefully she will become Shego's slave and the bearer of her eggs.
SailorNemesis