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June 3, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Ack. I wrote a lovely review and AFN locked up when I tried to post it. Hopefully it will not do the same when I try to post it this second time. (sigh)
OK, as I said in the review that I just wrote that never got posted, what I really liked about this chapter was the fact that you have created such a richly detailed story around the story of Traxis and Blaze. There is so much more going on than just their relationship, and the heated moments between the two of them. You have created this intensely vivid world aboard the Resolute that just feels so real. From the moments in the dining area, to the training rooms, to all the great details in the inventory room with Traxis. I was just loving the details where you described all the differences between the guns, the types used by Commandos versus Marines, etc. It just makes the Resolute come alive in a way it never has before, because you take the time to describe it in such intricate detail.
Plus, you describe all of the other characters, and the goings on between them, as they try to get through all of these trainings. It just has such a REAL feel to it and it makes the story so intriguing.
Blaze is starting to feel intensely dark. Or, should I say darker. And, no pun intended. That little stunt with the light switch? I thought for a moment there he was going to rape Trax. There was an underpinning of violence in his actions there, which always seems to be. Just when you think he might be a decent guy, when he asked if Trax was recovered, and showed some concern for his well-being, he goes and pulls a stunt like that. Then, that gleam that he got when he noticed Trax showed a weakness with a fear of the dark, well, you just know that no good is going to come of this relationship. If Trax doesn't wise up where Blaze is concerned, well, you know he is going to end up getting burned by this relationship. And, I just about cringed when he mentioned Fives and Echo by named to Blaze, because I was thinking that might end up badly, too. Just don't trust these flamethrowing guys. They all seem so... dark. The type that will thrive after Order 66.
So much tension. Such an excellently crafted story. I always looked forward to Sundays now, just for an updated to this well-written tale. OK, AFN please post this and stop locking up...
OK, as I said in the review that I just wrote that never got posted, what I really liked about this chapter was the fact that you have created such a richly detailed story around the story of Traxis and Blaze. There is so much more going on than just their relationship, and the heated moments between the two of them. You have created this intensely vivid world aboard the Resolute that just feels so real. From the moments in the dining area, to the training rooms, to all the great details in the inventory room with Traxis. I was just loving the details where you described all the differences between the guns, the types used by Commandos versus Marines, etc. It just makes the Resolute come alive in a way it never has before, because you take the time to describe it in such intricate detail.
Plus, you describe all of the other characters, and the goings on between them, as they try to get through all of these trainings. It just has such a REAL feel to it and it makes the story so intriguing.
Blaze is starting to feel intensely dark. Or, should I say darker. And, no pun intended. That little stunt with the light switch? I thought for a moment there he was going to rape Trax. There was an underpinning of violence in his actions there, which always seems to be. Just when you think he might be a decent guy, when he asked if Trax was recovered, and showed some concern for his well-being, he goes and pulls a stunt like that. Then, that gleam that he got when he noticed Trax showed a weakness with a fear of the dark, well, you just know that no good is going to come of this relationship. If Trax doesn't wise up where Blaze is concerned, well, you know he is going to end up getting burned by this relationship. And, I just about cringed when he mentioned Fives and Echo by named to Blaze, because I was thinking that might end up badly, too. Just don't trust these flamethrowing guys. They all seem so... dark. The type that will thrive after Order 66.
So much tension. Such an excellently crafted story. I always looked forward to Sundays now, just for an updated to this well-written tale. OK, AFN please post this and stop locking up...
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May 28, 2012 at 12:00 AM
love it... the way you have them flirting with Traxis and do thank laloga for me it is nice to see him again
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May 28, 2012 at 12:00 AM
chapter 2 was something else hat was a bit mean of him to single him out like that.
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May 28, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 3: beautiful and sexy as always.
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May 28, 2012 at 12:00 AM
chapter 4: loved it except for interuptions when i was reading.
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May 28, 2012 at 12:00 AM
chapter 5: love it. coric was a bit privy but yup
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May 27, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I love the relationship you've developed between Trax and Coric, here. They're still officer and subordinate, medic and patient, but - as Coric says - they're friends as well, and his concern for Trax is just that - friendly. He's looking out for the younger man.
While it's understandable that Trax wants to keep his fledgling relationship with Blaze private, since we know Blaze's true intentions, there's definitely a darker feel to the matter than there otherwise might be. Additionally, the presence of physical injuries on Trax's person indicate that Blaze is "making his mark" on the scarred clone in more ways than one. ;)
Love Rex's cameo; again, you've captured the captain in all his glory with only a few words, showcasing his no-nonsense attitude while also demonstrating how thorough his understanding (and care) for his men is when he doesn't pepper Trax with questions, just sticks to the bare facts.
Blaze and Trax are smoking hot together! Whew...even though every thought, every word of Blaze's is laced with selfish intent, it's clear that Trax thinks the world of him, and that he's getting more and more caught in Blaze's web of seduction. (That sounds a bit "made for TV movie," but you get the idea.) The "getting off" together convo really struck me; as much as the clones seem to crave closeness among one another, such a thing seems like it'd be instinctive, but I can see how it's a line that some of them would be unwilling to cross once they matured. In my mind, it's the first few battles that really "harden" (no pun intended) a clone, start turning him into the man he'll become rather than the blank slate he is when he left Kamino, and such moments of pleasure, once shared, would be taken alone.
Anyway, I loved this chapter, and eagerly await more in the saga of Trax and Blaze...
While it's understandable that Trax wants to keep his fledgling relationship with Blaze private, since we know Blaze's true intentions, there's definitely a darker feel to the matter than there otherwise might be. Additionally, the presence of physical injuries on Trax's person indicate that Blaze is "making his mark" on the scarred clone in more ways than one. ;)
Love Rex's cameo; again, you've captured the captain in all his glory with only a few words, showcasing his no-nonsense attitude while also demonstrating how thorough his understanding (and care) for his men is when he doesn't pepper Trax with questions, just sticks to the bare facts.
Blaze and Trax are smoking hot together! Whew...even though every thought, every word of Blaze's is laced with selfish intent, it's clear that Trax thinks the world of him, and that he's getting more and more caught in Blaze's web of seduction. (That sounds a bit "made for TV movie," but you get the idea.) The "getting off" together convo really struck me; as much as the clones seem to crave closeness among one another, such a thing seems like it'd be instinctive, but I can see how it's a line that some of them would be unwilling to cross once they matured. In my mind, it's the first few battles that really "harden" (no pun intended) a clone, start turning him into the man he'll become rather than the blank slate he is when he left Kamino, and such moments of pleasure, once shared, would be taken alone.
Anyway, I loved this chapter, and eagerly await more in the saga of Trax and Blaze...
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May 20, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Words can't convey how much I'm enjoying this story. You've struck the perfect balance with the attraction and possession between Traxis and Blaze; even though I *know* that Blaze is up to no good, I want to read more of him and Trax together. Their first time in the gym was intense, skimming on the edge of violent, but in a way that I think attracts Traxis undeniably. No experience in his life has come close to being this visceral and *real,* and it's easy to see how he gets swept up. There isn't overt romance between them, but within Traxis I see a longing for *more;* he definitely has a tender side, one that Blaze exploits with aplomb.
*Hesitantly, unsure as to the proper protocols for such encounters, Traxis lifted one hand and ran it through the sweaty blonde forelock on the other man’s head.* This moment - and the later one where Trax initiates a kiss with Blaze - really touched me. Trax wants a relationship, wants to be affectionate and share a kind of closeness that we (the readers) know Blaze isn't capable or - at least not now. It adds a tragic sort of element to the story, because Blaze's motivations are all-too-clear, but it also injects a bit of hope; maybe something *more* will come out of this relationship. (I know, but I'm not telling. :P) Fantastic work.
The relationship between Coric and Traxis is touching as well, very sweet. I just love the gentle way that Coric handles Traxis - up front and honest, but with a hint of teasing and brotherly affection - and above all I get the sense that Coric genuinely cares what happens to Traxis; not that he doesn't care about all his brothers, but he definitely seems to admire Trax above the rest. (Side note: now I'm wondering about Trax meeting Coric later on, when he's with Shadow? There were more than a few times where Shadow found their way to the Resolute...hmm.)
Blaze is just so...evil, it's delicious. He's like some decadent dessert that you *know* is bad for you, but by golly you just can't stop eating it. :P Love the ending scene in the cafeteria; as Trax tries to assert himself a bit and ensure that their relationship stays private, Blaze totally undermines him the whole time. Trax's logical brain just can't keep up with his hormones. Sigh. We've all been there. :P
Wonderful job! :D
*Hesitantly, unsure as to the proper protocols for such encounters, Traxis lifted one hand and ran it through the sweaty blonde forelock on the other man’s head.* This moment - and the later one where Trax initiates a kiss with Blaze - really touched me. Trax wants a relationship, wants to be affectionate and share a kind of closeness that we (the readers) know Blaze isn't capable or - at least not now. It adds a tragic sort of element to the story, because Blaze's motivations are all-too-clear, but it also injects a bit of hope; maybe something *more* will come out of this relationship. (I know, but I'm not telling. :P) Fantastic work.
The relationship between Coric and Traxis is touching as well, very sweet. I just love the gentle way that Coric handles Traxis - up front and honest, but with a hint of teasing and brotherly affection - and above all I get the sense that Coric genuinely cares what happens to Traxis; not that he doesn't care about all his brothers, but he definitely seems to admire Trax above the rest. (Side note: now I'm wondering about Trax meeting Coric later on, when he's with Shadow? There were more than a few times where Shadow found their way to the Resolute...hmm.)
Blaze is just so...evil, it's delicious. He's like some decadent dessert that you *know* is bad for you, but by golly you just can't stop eating it. :P Love the ending scene in the cafeteria; as Trax tries to assert himself a bit and ensure that their relationship stays private, Blaze totally undermines him the whole time. Trax's logical brain just can't keep up with his hormones. Sigh. We've all been there. :P
Wonderful job! :D
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May 14, 2012 at 12:00 AM
What a cliffhanger! Not sure if I can wait too long for the next update! This was sooo hot! Blaze is such a great name for the character because things just keep heating up and getting hotter. Love Traxis' dream sequence. He was not the only one left throbbing by that one. Whoa. That was a pretty awesomely hot dream and a great way to end the story. Love that he did not have time to "take care of things" and had to leave for the meeting at the gym in such a desperate state. Surely things will be very tense when he gets there, and will make for delightful UST between Blaze and Traxis. Just such a great story. Thoroughly enjoying it!
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May 14, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Enjoying the kriff out of this story! Blaze is so evil, but I especially love how you've fleshed out the other characters - Rook and Coil, in particular - and how you've captured the clones themselves. The camaraderie, the rivalries, the lingo...it's all fantastic and so well done! :)
Whew, what a dream. :P Love his disorientation as he came out of it (um, pun kind of intended), and the "decision" that he had to make...
Looking forward to more!
Whew, what a dream. :P Love his disorientation as he came out of it (um, pun kind of intended), and the "decision" that he had to make...
Looking forward to more!