rate_review Reviews

update soon

XD I think that's a pretty unique idea. Still needs some work, though. The structure is much better but I think some of the dialogue just doesn't seem natural given the situation... and Zim's intelligence and emotional levels. I think Zim wouldn't "struggle to keep his voice calm" but I guess that could be explained by Zim's time on Earth and calming down some..? That would be good for you to elaborate on, perhaps? I also don't know why Zim would look up anything about aphrodisiacs.

Anyhow... the whole conversation right before the rape... I understand why it was there, but it's completely unrealistic. And Zim would struggle and fight way more (but I guess I'm just a huge fan of fighting and struggling and blood... *cough*) it would be hard for Dib to rape Zim. Zim can stab him with a Pak leg... not to mention that he's like an ant with the strength he has and he could probably just toss Dib away from him... Unless there's a reason he couldn't fight back? Then you should elaborate on that too.

Chapter one is much better! :3 And chapter two is good too, though I find it hard to believe that Dib wouldn't remember anything; at least he might have a hazy dream-like memory... That's what I think. Also I can understand Zim not blaming Dib... but I do think he wouldn't let Dib touch him so easily; logically he might not blame Dib, but emotionally and physically he'd probably still be freaked out. He'd probably have to remind himself not to punch/fight/etc. Dib.

Anyhow, I do like Dib commenting on how he loves Zim struggling. I also like the smeet's name :3 It's the same as my nickname for my kitten. :3 I'm curious to see what happens next, keep up with the improvements! You've become much better.