rate_review Reviews

You don't need a beta, if you use Microsoft Office, you can listen to the story. That's how I proof my stories, and it's reduced my mistakes considerably. Also, might I suggest, adding a chapater where Ron actually grows a pair and takes Kim, where he finally get's over his insecurities about Kim leaving him, and becomes more confident with her. He doesn't have to be a domineering asshole, but a little swagger is not a bad thing, Kim may grow tired of being the one to start things off, she may love that this is the one aspect of her life, where she doesn't have to be in charge.

Ok I realize that this is YOUR story and you can do ANYTHING that you want with the characters in it; but ‘BONNIE’ and ‘FELIX’ a COUPLE I think NOT, last time I checked ‘Bonnie’ had fallen for ‘Junior’ and ‘Felix’ had hooked up ‘Zita’ in that ‘Graduation Movie Final. I just can’t see ‘Bonnie’ becoming more civilized and decent; they never even showed interacting with ‘Felix’ and if she did she would probably be just has rude and mean as usual; and as for ‘Ron’s’ mother having yet ANOTHER child on the way I just don’t THAT happening either. :/

But for the most part; this is a pretty good story that you put here, very touching and romantic. :)

Very sexy story, I hope you keep writing more!

Hey I heard you were looking to restructure you're stories. I should be able to help. I have posted a story up on Fanfiction.net that I think will help you. The paragraph/ writing structure should be correct. Here is the link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9310018/1/When-The-Unthinkable-Happens

You can also go to Fanfiction.net and look up samuel adams 17 and my profile will pop up with a story, "When The Unthinkable Happens" that is where you can get ideas for you story. Hope this helps!

Very intense story and very well written! I hope you continue writing this story...I would love to see the plot develope some more...maybe something unexpected happening (an engagement, pregnancy, intense fantasies played out, ect.) Crossing-fingers for an update...please :)

OMG I love this fanfic! I hope that you continue with the story,I really would like to see what you have in store next :) Maybe Kim might get pregnant with them going at it like bunnies and Ron's MM sperm? Or do Shego and Dr. Drakken come for a visit and thier getting married, asking Kim and Ron to be in the wedding? Hope to see an update :)

Please update soon. Well written story and hot sex. What could be better.

HOT plz update very soon.

Very hot, very erotic yet at the same time romantic. Thats what I like to see. With the exception of shortening your paragraphs, I see nothing wrong with your writing. I hope you update soon.

I later found, when I lost my proof reader to his real world problems, that copying my story into my E-mail writting program, helped me correct serveral problems. Spell checking and sentence structure. Just a suggestion. And I really am enjoying the story.