schedule
June 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
i really liked this story and wasvery well written and i would like to know how it ends.
schedule
May 29, 2005 at 12:00 AM
DUDE!!!!!!!!!!! GET TO THE FUCKING HOT DADDY DAUGHTER SEX!!!!!!!!!!! THATS WHY I WAS READING THIS, STORYS LIKE THIS THAT PROMISE SEX BUT DONT DELIVER ARE WORST THAN SEX AND THE CITY ON TNT
schedule
May 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Good story so far, still waiting for the "good stuff" by the way, jack-jack is a boy not a girl. the Parrs have two sons and one daughter. keep up the good work
schedule
May 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
........
schedule
April 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
wewewew
schedule
March 21, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Nice storyline going on, but having quotations(Like where a character's speaking?) starting a new paragraph would help. It would also help to be a bit more descriptive and almost always put who's saying what after the quote.
Also, don't mean to pry, but.. Jack-Jack's a boy^^;
Also, don't mean to pry, but.. Jack-Jack's a boy^^;
schedule
January 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Detailed but still thrilling... just the mix I like. I don't know something bad about your writing style in the moment. You're showing Bobs confusion very well, but I think there could be a little more guilt when he's looking at Helen. Perhaps Bob could remember Violets childhood and wonder when the girl began to see him as a man, not just as a father.
Why are so few reviews here? A well written story like this one should have more!
Why are so few reviews here? A well written story like this one should have more!
schedule
December 19, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Not bad for a first time. A little long, missing a couple of minor detailes in places, you could cut a little of the story and not have a problem, but all you need is pratice. You have great potential.
schedule
December 16, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Pretty good but it was rated r and although it was long about 75% of it was little details you could probobly of halved the story without missing anything.