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Reviews for Ms. Frizzle's Class Explores the Human Body

By : Meowshi
  • From WarrenConey on August 09, 2023

    Although I love The Magic School Bus, I’m disappointed that I can’t recommend this story. With a word count that pushes an hour and a half, of average read time, I have to say, surprise twist, with the succubus, ruins it.

    However, the twist itself could have made the story perfect, if, you had revealed the succubus to the readers, at the very beginning of the story, rather than just hinting at how odd miss frizzle seemed that day. For instance, the children obeying Ms. Frizzle with very little protest, would have made more sense, if the reader knew there were other forces at work. But, because we don’t know about it, a lot of the story seems too unbelievable.

    The wording is good and I didn’t notice any spelling errors. There is a point however, in chapter six, where you pasted two of the same sentences, again in the next paragraph. With a story this long, that error is bound to happen when moving sentences around. I would recommend keeping the chapters separate from each other, so you can quickly proof read them one at a time, before bringing everything together into one piece.

    Your story tags are perfect, but, the occult witchery that you describe, is too subtly hinted at throughout the story. Since we only get the succubus revealed at the end, the story seems implausible, rather than unnatural. The succubus reveal, also seems like more of a surprise twist, than anything else. Again, if the reader knew about the unnatural things happening at the beginning of the story, it could have had a fun sense of tension, as it moved forward. Especially, if the reader was told that Ms. Frizzle knew about Janet spying on them, from the start.

    You labeled this as The Magic School Bus (1994), but you had a cameo from Fiona Frizzle, which would technically make this, The Magic School Bus Rides Again (2017), since that’s where she’s from. Although this last point is very debatable, because there was no succubus in the original, Magic School Bus, either.

    The gag at the end with the producers was a fun touch, but it makes everything even more implausible, since they know about the succubus. What you could have done was, have them reviewing the episode, as if it was a bad joke, made by disgruntled employees. And then the fact that it was also being broadcast, as they reviewed it, would have made even more sense. It would be as if the employees are deliberately trying to get the producers fired.

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