Click Here!

  • 1

Reviews for Love Is In The Air

By : LordKuyohashi
  • From WarrenConey on February 04, 2024

    This is a good story, but I could only recommend it to people who have a lot of spare time to read it.

    The biggest problem this story has, is that it's chapters are too long. Chapter four alone, would take more than an hour for the average person to read. Because of this, I would highly recommend shorter chapters. Try looking at a chapter and ask yourself if it could be shortened or split into more focused chapters.
    A rule of thumb you can use to adjust the size of your chapters with, is this, the average reader takes half an hour to read 7,500 words.

    The characters seem 'reasonable', as they adjust to their new lives, in the setting you've created.

    The characters also seem to stay true to how they act in the show, except for the fact that they all seem unusually comfortable swearing. Other than that, they seem pretty accurate to the show, which is something I personally enjoy.

    Your spelling and wording is excellent, it reads and flows very well. The only part that I had trouble reading through, is the very rare occasion that you use the word 'sex' to refer to a girl's privates. I know some people like doing that, but for some reason when I read it, I have to stop and reread the sentence to understand the context. I recommend using any other word instead.

    Your title and description are a bit vague, but accurate. I do recommend adding the 'MM' tag to the story, even though you only have a few mentions of that, the tag should be there. I understand why you didn't tag it, I myself have had my story's tags changed by a moderator, just for having three sentences that mentioned fingering. So it's best to make sure your tags are thorough.

    I would also recommend that you remove the note about the ages of the characters. It's implied throughout the story that the youngest characters, are at least over the age of eighteen; Like how Bart has a credit card and how Maggie got a tattoo. Saying they can be 'however old you wish them to be' isn't very true when you show them doing things that are, inherently adult in nature.

    Aside from the few small things I pointed out, this story has a lot of good stuff and it's a fun read. I honestly think if you just shorten the chapters, it would be near perfect.

    Report Review

  • From Inanim8CarbnRod on July 22, 2023

    Just want to pass along what a wonder this fic has proven to be thus far. It's rare to see Simpsons smut that really nails the characterizations the way you have here - and I appreciate that not only have you taken the time to introduce a compelling long-term mystery (in terms of what's made all of Springfield unashamedly horny) but also a long-term end goal payoff target (in Lisa prodding Bart to build up his experience meter to satisfy their mutual end goal of bedding their mother).

    I adore how base, simplistic and true to the character you've written Homer while still keeping him hilarious despite this over-hormonal backdrop. I love how obscenely perverted you've made Lisa while still conveying the nuance of having her initially hesitant to convey just how much of a deviant she is to her mother until Marge literally called her out on it while she played possum on the picnic table back in Chapter 2. Also, I appreciate the initiative to establish separate characterizations for Sherri and Terri despite the temptation of most to not present them as distinct individuals.

    It's a bummer that I'm the first review despite all this time but I want to relay my encouragement to stick with this. You've got fans and avid readers - some of whom have even contributed regularly to this category - and we can't wait to see how you'll carry on this journey.

    Report Review

  • 1
T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!