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Reviews for Will and irma

By : Singi
  • From Shaellin on July 08, 2006
    Eh, really short and unfulfilling. You're trying harder to get through the story than you are to tell it. It sounds more like somebody is *describing* the story to you rather than *telling* it to you. If you really want to write a story you have to be willing to actually put some time into writing it. I guarantee the results will be worth the effort. Let me know if you every update this story. It falls far short of delivering what the description promises. 2 stars out of 5, and that's being generous.
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  • From ANON - Anon on June 24, 2006
    YOU SUCK UPDATE KNOW
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  • From ANON - Jd Wheels on December 25, 2005
    Good start... hope you will take the time and go with it.

    That is how I DO it. Check out my stories, it might help you... I know, tha is why I awlways read other Authors stuff here on AFF.
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  • From ANON - Shadow on November 16, 2005
    Is this some idea of a joke!?! You couldn't do anything with it for the past few monthes?!? Dude, think of something already. I mean come on you say you're gonna do it so do it.
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  • From ANON - Anon on September 27, 2005
    wtf??? this sucks
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  • From TimidStrangeness on September 25, 2005
    rape is good!! :D cute pairing please continue!!
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  • From ANON - animechick on July 27, 2005
    update this story soon it is so short
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  • From ShadrachVS on July 22, 2005
    Hrm. Ok must be constructive... Ok... Yeah...
    This may help; Elaborate - Main Entry: 1elab•o•rate
    Pronunciation: i-'la-b(&-)r&t
    Function: adjective
    Etymology: Latin elaboratus, from past participle of elaborare to work out, acquire by labor, from e- + laborare to work -- more at LABORATORY
    1 : planned or carried out with great care
    2 : marked by complexity, fullness of detail, or ornateness

    Elaboration means that you need to fill in the details to get your actions to be enveloping, short and succint is not the way to write an entertaining story. Take each one of the action/description sentences and turn it into 6 or more. Make each one build up into the other, do this and the illusion will be complete.
    Second; The Lead Up - Every story has a beginning and an end, you will find that unless you Build the plot/actions/descriptions between these two points neither of the points is important any more.
    Third; the provocative sex scene, Teasing is good; too much is bad, but none is just blech.

    Er, other than that; Grab a BETA reader, they help out a ton. And listen to them, they often are good writers themselves.
    Hope that helps you out...


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