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Reviews for A Very Happy Birthday

By : Neko234
  • From Breech_Loader on December 04, 2008
    As a sex story, it was basically okay... the only real problems with it were that:

    1: I don't see anything in it that really shows it's Transformers Animated.
    2: I don't see anything in it that alludes to Megatron's birthday.

    If you could just remember these sorts of things (especially number two) next time, that would be great. I expected Starscream to be bullied into sex, or popping up out of a birthday cake or something. Instead, it's just like every other Megatron/Starscream fic where you just jam two people together and have them fuck.
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  • From Scienceteacher on December 04, 2008
    While the story flowed very smoothly and your use of descriptives really brought the images into mind, there were a few things I noticed that you need to look into.

    **Tags** These are a big issue for many writers, so it's a common problem. Here's an example of what you did, and how it should've been:

    Yours -- You can finish me off after we recharge." He replied,
    Right way -- You can finish me off after we recharge," he replied,

    The other thing I noticed was that you didn't capitalize Seeker. This is accepted as a proper noun, so must always be capped.

    Other than those two very common issues, your story was well-written and engaging...
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  • From ToonQueen on December 04, 2008
    Hahaha, still smexy~
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