Reviews for Heather's Potty AdventuresBy : Peanutsfan621 |
I really liked this story, the entire thing has an adorable feel to it, that fits perfectly with the two characters.
I find it a little odd how sexual they seem, without a context as to why. I think a few off hand comments explaining how the girls are comfortable with groping each other, and how they are familiar with words like ‘pussy’, would be enough to fix that.
Since it's a ‘Peanuts’ story, I think the explanation could come in best, with a few humorous off hand comments. Like how the characters sometimes, show random bits of knowledge, of things that would only concern an adult.
The wording is pretty good and the spelling is perfect. Aside from a few lines that seemed a little off, this reads well. I feel like you took time to edit this, which is something I love seeing in any fan fic.
In your description it says ‘a collection of stories’; If that’s the case I would recommend you split them up into separate related stories and post each one with it’s own tags. you could just post it as a series, Heather's Potty Adventures 2, 3, etc. The reason I say this, is because the ‘DP’ and the ‘3plus’ tags almost turned me away, but I’m glad they didn’t. But, if the next installment is closely related to the first, you could just drop the ‘collection of’ part, keep the tags and write it as a multiple chapter story.
Normally, I don’t read, ‘collections of stories’, or stories that have a lot of chapters. But I’m definitely looking forward to the next installment of this, whatever form it gets posted in.
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