Reviews for October 32ndBy : eoraptor |
Notes.
I skimmed through the chapter and I think it's a good read.
However, it would be best if you tried making the individual sexual activities longer. And maybe try to stick to one or two words for the male reproductive organ.
I can see you have a decent following who enjoys your work but I believe you would find more viewers with longer chapters and or longer sexual activities. If you need help to pan out those scenes then might I suggest the dreamily website/app?
Or the text synth playground. I use both myself and then I change the grammar used to match my own.
It helps makes the scenes feel longer and like an actual chapter of a book.
And maybe reorganize the paragraph’s a little bit so they're easier to read.
Regardless I enjoyed what I read in this story and I thought I would give my advice I hope it helps.
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