Want a nice realistic twist that you don't see enough in erotic fiction of this type?

Have Mr. Serial Cheater catch Gonorrhea or Chlamydia from one of his other conquest. Then, since Kim thinks that her implant is all of the protection she needs she gets it. Then she passes it on to the other three guys and Ron. Who all pass it on to their partners. This will quickly destroy the other two marriages, since not only were their husbands cheating on them, but they gave their wives an STD.

Then Ron's little playthings aren't going to be too happy.

And heck, I can't imagine Ron will be overly happy either, but it isn't like he was really taking the necessary precautions either.

What a nice little bit of realism to bite Kim in the ass and maybe make her wake up to the destructive behavior that she has been engaging in.

Just a thought for a realistic consequence that can cause a major shake up to status quo. 

Good writing. 

Good chapter.

You did a good job of showing the differences between Kim and Ron. 

As for Kim's responsibility, like you said, cheating is a two way street. So, yes the guys are responsible, but so is Kim. And to be completely honest, Kim is being an idiot about this. Anyone who can serially cheat on someone they supposedly love like this is not someone that can be trusted. So, why does she think that they won't take advantage of her? All around Kim's solution isn't healthy, safe, or smart. But just like any addict (sex or otherwise) she doesn't care enough to look at it that closely. They are providing her fix and that is all she cares about.

Keep up the good work. 

I want to start off by apologizing if my last review came across as too harsh. I realized today that I failed to state, along with my critique, that I think you have the potential for an extremely good story. You are improving and trying to address issues as they come up. 

I will reiterate again that one thing which would probably do you the most good is to get a beta reader. You need someone who knows what your goals are for the story and can then act as a devil's advocate.

So, please do not get discouraged. I and others really want to see how this story ends. 

Also, one thing that I thought about was that this story can still have a good ending. Since this story started with Kim engaging in four simultaneous acts of infidelity there was no way this was going to be a heroic arc, but it can be a redemption arc. 

I am not sure if you have realized this yet, but you have essentially written Kim as an addict. She is controlled by her desires and needs. When she needs a fix she basically doesn't care what she has to do or who she hurts to get that fix. 

It is ironic that you have setup two people with the same sexual desire, but have shown the two going about fulfilling them differently. Ron has basically, although not completely, went about it right. He is in enough control to try and keep from hurting those involved. He refused to cheat on Kim and he only chose unmarried partners. Kim has not went about it correctly at all.

This might be a path forward for you that can lead to a happier ending. But as with all addicts she is going to have to realize and admit that she has a problem and then get help for it.

Of course, as with all of my comments, I have no idea how they fit into your desired goals for this story.

All of this being said, please keep writing, you have potential and are getting better. Until next chapter good luck and good writing. 

I don't know what to say about this chapter. 

For the most part it was just a standard porn chapter. However, I hate to say it but your Kim is kind of a bitch.

Throughout this story she has pretty much hurt numerous people for purely selfish reasons. And she has shown little remorse except where it effects her.

She cheats on Ron without a second thought and for the most part her angst over it isn't about how it hurts Ron, but how it will effect her.

She had to check that she wasn't pregnant after her first gangbang but rags on Ron because he might have gotten the girls he had sex with pregnant. 

Then this chapter adds a couple of other layers. 

Early on she states that she isn't a home wrecker, but by now she has continued to have sex with men that she knows are married, and has now broken up a marriage. She has hurt a completely innocent woman and her children. She is a home wrecker, and she shows absolutely no remorse for this. In fact her primary reaction is to talk him into having sex with her.

Then, she has went from only trying things first with Ron to learning about bondage with her married lovers and after she has "learned everything" she will be exclusive with Ron. What a load of crap. Talk about paying a debt with a worn out coin.

At this point I am having a hard time seeing how this story will have a good ending. This story has all of the marks of being a Kim falling from grace story. Which is fine, but as it stands this Kim is not a good or considerate person. She is leaving a path of misery behind her quest for sexual gratification. And until she starts respecting her lovers and putting them ahead of her own desires she is only going to have a hard and unhappy life.

Which can be a good story, but I don't think it was what you were shooting for.

Anyways, I look forward to seeing where you take this. 

Loved it especially the guys being considerate to Kim about her being on video.

Which route you take is completely up to you.

However, I will say that you have consistently chosen the more dramatic route to date. This means that you can stay dramatic for consistency or you can go porn for a little mix up. But, if you go the porn route you will need to go back to dramatic after or else the story will be disjointed.

Porn route

To bad Kim doesn't like anal, the guys would've definitely like that or maybe she just needs to get her ass loosen up a bit more by lube or have the guys take turns rotating from one of her other holes then to her ass after they fished they go to another hole once the guys are done with her maybe she'll be ready get Ron's dick to fit in her ass so she can enjoy anal too or one of the girls in the village tells Ron of a way to get Kim's body to be more accepting of being fucked in the ass. Either way if Kim's soon gets used to and love anal or not, it's another great chapter.

Lol!

And that concludes our PSA on how to ensure your partner NEVER wants to do anal ever again.

Not all girls like anal, but all that was needed to make that worse was to forget the lube.

If anyone wants to try anal take a few minutes and look up on the internet how to do it. This is not how it is done. No foreplay. No "warming" her up. No other stimulation during the act. No gradually loosening her up; both over the previous months and at the time of the actual penetration. This was about the worst case of wham, bam, thank you ma'am that I have ever seen.

Anyways, you made your point. Kim won't be doing any anal. This does introduce another big issue, what is special and exclusive between Kim and Ron? I have actually discussed open marriages with a professional for a story and am acquainted with a swinger couple. Talk about some interesting conversations. But I digress, the one thing that both told me was that in an open relationship clear rules must be established and abided by for both partners and there had to be something shared only between the couple. The professional said that without this jealousy and resentment would almost inevitably grow and ruin the relationship.

While anecdotal, the swinger couple said that they established that there would be no kissing on the mouth and that after they were finished the person never stayed in bed with their partner for the evening. In other words, no cuddling or other "intimate" contact. The swinging was about sex, not love or intimacy.

Just information that I thought you might find interesting.

Looking forward to the rest. 

Good next chapter. 

The only thing I cannot figure out is why they would keep excluding the other from their experience. There is no reason Kim couldn't include Ron and have five men. Also, if she is smart and reserves anal only for Ron then it is the only way she would get the "full" experience.

The same goes for Ron. We know from the single Ron chapter that they had no problem with Kim joining.

Maybe Ron will come back and join in after telling the girls he will be back in a couple of days with Kim.

Other than this omission I kind of like their solution. But I will be honest, I am partial to seeing Ron fuck Kim up the ass while a string of other guys pound her pussy. 

Are we gonna see Kim take all four guys at once like she is double penetrated one dick in her pussy and one for her ass while kim rotates blowjob between the other two guy's dick, then the two guys inside Kim cum inside her then pull out and all four dicks aimed at kim face, that's when Kim opens her mouth with her tongue out to accept her creamy reward two guys explode covering her face and her mouth is full but doesn't swallow yet just keeps her mouth open to show the guys she determined to drain them, the other two aimed at her chest and they covered her chest with cum, some of it drips down her chest to her stomach. The guys say she's a true lovely sight to behold, then the guys ask if they can see her swallow there cum with her mouth open, in her head anything is possible for a possible then she swallowed there cum without closing her mouth. The guys seeing her like this covered in there cum with some dripping out of her ass and pussy with her mouth still open while her tongue still sticking out, the sight alone make the guys hard again before Kim eyes, Kim only thought before the next round is soak my body and fill me up with your cum, after the final of whatever round they finished Kim was lying on her back or in a face down ass up positon with so much cum spewing out of her ass and pussy while her face and body is now really plastered with cum. Kim face showed she was fucked so silly (eye's rolled up mouth open tongue out) that she's non coherent until Kim regains consciousness so they just leave kim the way she is to remind themselves that they just had a real good time and love seeing that they caused Kim to make that face.

I'm sure the guys wouldn't film kim unless given permission to make a gang bang porn video and it stays in the cabin for there enjoyment until she see's them again to make a sequel, the video starts from the moment Kim is fully naked in the cabin and they started fucking her and the video ends after they finished whatever round they were on they made sure to get a full body video shot of the cum plasterd body and cum plasterd fucked silly non coherent face on kim with cum spewing out of her ass and pussy in the shot.

Take out the parts you don't like, what doesn't go with your story and what might be to much for the readers.

Another amazing chapter especially with two girls giving Ron looks even before he saved the village, hope they have indoor plumming.

Good start to Ron's story.

Hopefully, he will be more involved in Kim's future stories, but I guess we will see.

One thing to keep in mind as you move forward with this story is that infidelity doesn't destroy relationships because of a lack of love, but because of broken trust.

Cheating isn't devastating because the wronged party stops loving the cheater, but because it breaks a necessary trust.

It will be possible for Ron to forgive Kim in this instance because she didn't try to hide it. She told him as soon as she talked to him after. This doesn't mean it will be easy, but because of Kim's honesty it will be easier for Ron to trust that this was just a one time slip up. Especially if Kim can find some way to reassure Ron that it will never happen again (the infidelity not the gangbang).

This is also one reason that I was so against Ron also cheating. If Ron also cheated I don't see how their relationship could survive. It doesn't make anything better, it just means that now trust has been damaged both ways.

Do you have anyone to bounce ideas off of, to help hash out the story? If not, would you like someone? And if so, does this site have any way to private message someone an email address?

Is there a way you can use the Ron parts of the ideas I wrote on the 19th and 21st in the next chapter or Ron brought back two girls just as attractive as Kim with exactly the same body type as her and both Kim's age, now Ron could live a fantasy he always wanted to have all three girls lined up naked on all fours with Kim in the middle so he can fuck her in the ass while Ron fingers a girl on Kim right and left in their pussys's and uses his thumbs to tease/fuck the girls ass, before they got started Ron told Kim he wanted to punish her by making her do this foursome on camera, Kim feeling that she deserved this for what she did to Ron thought to herself that she'll do anything Ron wants no matter how humiliating because it's what she deserved.