Reviews for P. F. A. S. (Post-Fusion Attachment Syndrome)By : GeorgeGlass |
Pearl looked sharply at the purple Gem. “After your first fusion with me, you followed me around like a lost puppy for an entire morning.”
“Yeah, but,” Amethyst said, eyes darting evasively, “I wasn’t this pitiful.”
“You cried when I wouldn’t let you drink my used bath water.”
Amethyst’s eyes went slightly misty as she sniffed, “I didn’t want to waste good bath water.”
This made me giggle like a maniac. Amethyst being thirsty for Pearl's equivalent version of gamer girl bath water is hilariously hot to me
MM, loved this fic! It's also can interesting idea, where gem fusions can have an unintended side effect. Perhaps it can be part of the reason to why Jasper acted the way she did towards Lapis.
First off, it was a great way to start with the kids being excited to see each other, with only a hint or two that it was anything out of the ordinary. Garnet's feelings about it were very cute too, a nice extension from the episode. Using a bit of future vision to give Steven and Connie's symptoms time to escalate until even Garnet noticed worked. Her "organic solution" comment (and implementation) was fantastic. Also, now that I think about it, it feels like Garnet set Amethyst and then Pearl to "fail the test" and get caught peeking just so she'd have some leverage to help get them out of the way for a while.
Great work on the awkwardness of the two as they first have a hard time thinking about making love, and then the anxiety over how to begin. When Connie mentioned her nightmares about tests I wondered if she'd ever been naked too and, at least thinking of school and tests, that would be a little comforting actually. "She really liked me!" cracked me up mostly because it's so real that it reminds me of my own awkward early escapades.
Figuring out that it was up to them to decide how to make it happen was so Steven that if this wasn't about sex then it could be an episode. However, the gentle start and gradual build up in their lovemaking played out beautifully. It also felt like it rose to a good natural point and was still completely satisfying (to the kids and the reader).
Again though, I'm glad that Connie didn't take Steven's cry of, "Freedom!" the wrong way. ;) The residual reluctance to seeing each other naked even after sex was really cute, plus Connie's compliment was perfect.
Clearing their memories worked fine for me, both to stick to the canon while also avoiding so many complications. Though it would have been out of place, I like to think that Garnet at least wished she could erase their memories the way Superman did in Superman II. Greg's little cool-down talk was very sweet, and Connie's blushing was a nice way to make us hopeful that part of her remembers making love with Steven.
The characterizations were great: Garnet's observation about people "reformatting their food" was a great look at humans through alien eyes. ("INSERT TURKEY IN DRIVE A: AND PRESS ANY KEY") and the odd rules to Go Fish were a lot of fun; Nice use of callback thingy too. Then there was Amethyst wanting to watch the kids (she's one of us!) and better yet, her reaction to Pearl mentioning the bath water incident. So much Crystal Gem fun, plus Greg's reaction about the upholstery cleaner was adorable.
Thanks for another terrifically lovely and beautifully written tale.
Interesting idea - certainly good start fir a smut story, like with all those -inators from PnF. That being said, I think things went a bit too quickly here, and I'm not talking just about the duration of sex, which is understandable. Jumping straight to intercourse seems a bit too fast, I imagined they would start with something like 69. And, since Connie's mom is a doctor (I haven't really watched that much of SU, so correct me if I'm wrong), shouldn't Connie at least ask for, you know, a condom? I know this is smut for the point of smut, but turning the sensibility knob a bit wouldn't hurt.
At the same time, loved the comedy of other Crystal gems. Overall, it's a great, simple story that can be a starting point to something, perhaps. I have to admit, I am impressed with how easily you are incorporating adult themes into regular stories, I'm always waiting for something new from you, even if it's from a fandom I'm not in (like SU).
this was a fantastic story! love the idea, really cute and the ending was funny.
While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.
All works displayed here, whether pictorial or literary, are the property of their owners and not Adult-FanFiction.org. Opinions stated in profiles of users may not reflect the opinions or views of Adult-FanFiction.org or any of its owners, agents, or related entities.
Website Domain ©2002-2017 by Apollo. PHP scripting, CSS style sheets, Database layout & Original artwork ©2005-2017 C. Kennington. Restructured Database & Forum skins ©2007-2017 J. Salva. Images, coding, and any other potentially liftable content may not be used without express written permission from their respective creator(s). Thank you for visiting!
Powered by Fiction Portal 2.0
Modifications © Manta2g, DemonGoddess
Site Owner - Apollo