Reviews for Stevonnie's AngelsBy : TheDirtyEquestrian2.0 |
oh my gods of writing where to start.
first this should have been classed as a PWP not a proper story since it seems to be a few sex scenes with a very loose plot.
second are the characters who you seem to know next to nothing about.
Stevonnie who is two minds in one body can not be treated as one person with out giving some reason or back story behind it witch you didn't because you went right to sex on the beach, tho you did kind of get it right in the second "chapter"
Kiki's dad and Mr Fryman? simmering sexual tension?.. WHERE? there's more sexual tension between former Mair Dewy and the grandmother then those two.
Amethyst has the personality of teenager and would only say something philosophical, and fail, to try and one up Pearl.. who is the only one you got right.
Kiki is only a background character and only had supporting roles so their's nothing to get wront with her really.
the tentacle rape of Kiki came right out of left field and you consintrated on it way to much, so much that I didn't finish it, I sciped over it and skimed some after it but I didn't finish your story past the chat the two minds had.
Px spelling error's and other such problmes in this comment I don't care about.
That was nothing short of fantastic. I honestly didn't think Kiki and Stevonnie would make such a lovely couple. Excellent work :D
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