Reviews for Afterparty PressureBy : TheEvilFaery |
Some comments:
--I loved the line, "it did still taste like apples…if apples were made of fire."
--Nice explanation for drunk-Wendy wanting to make out with Pacifica (that her childhood sex games with Tambry gave her a taste for young girls).
--I couldn't buy Wendy becoming consumed with rage at the thought of Pacifica getting together with Dipper. There may have been a few times on the show when Wendy was protective of Dipper, but she was never psychotically overprotective of him. And she never seemed to have any remorse or second thoughts about telling him that she was too old for him. But at least she snapped out of it when Pacifica proved that she had genuine feelings for Dipper.
--That was a great Pacifica moment, BTW.
--The ending piques my interest for what comes next. Guess I'm going to have to read the sequel. :)
are they still 12/15 in this story?
(This review was originally posted on March 13, 2015, on a site that doesn't exist anymore.)
WARNING: SPOILERS!
I think this part of the night is hotter and much more powerful than the little piece I wrote, and the true depth of Pacifica's feelings really shines in the end. First off, sweet intro and nice recap of why she's a bit wired, probably not wanting the night to end. (Though that may have worked out better for her. ;)) You set up a great visual image too as she changes into quite a lovely and more comfy ensemble before roaming around and reveling a bit. And being naughty by stealing more booze, plus her defensiveness at being called "little," was too cute.
The peacock was a great way to introduce Wendy, especially with the really nice mooning. Wendy was totally in-character, and she really sounded like herself all the way through the story, no matter what her scheme or mood. ("kind of... raping you back there" really shines. :)) I really liked her bit of corrupting the young girl and the nice, easy way she then advanced on the blonde. Wendy certainly is forward, and it's great to think she has a thing for little, er, younger girls. Tambry was funny being so matter-of-fact about it.
And then there's that sudden left turn! Even if Pacifica had resisted Wendy's advances I didn't expect Wendy to get forceful, but it was a total but amazing shock when Wendy got so angry at the mention of Dipper. Pacifica's resistance to the gentle seduction was completely in-character, and though it was unexpected so was Wendy's reaction. The attack was visceral that I could almost feel it myself, being in both girls' places; the tears of rage made it clear that she really believed Pacifica had hurt Dipper and now wanted to hurt her ten times more. Great descriptions of what she did from the first assault on, and Tambry's shock then "active denial" were spot-on. (Of course now I want to know what happened on November 3, 2010. :))
So I was on the edge of my seat wondering what horrible thing Wendy had in store for Pacifica, and even during the rape scene it was clear that she had something even worse in mind for the girl. Pacifica's reaction was intriguing, "shielding herself" with all of her self-loathing – suddenly turned self-destructive as she thought about all of the horrible things she'd done before, even if she only could have deserved what Wendy had beaten and raped her for.
Now even with her helpless terror at the prospect of being left in the well, I wonder if Pacifica felt like the punishment wasn't enough; that could have made it easier for her to disregard Wendy's offer and speak her true feelings, though I'm pretty certain that after the whole ghost thing she was simply more confident and resolute about doing what was right. Also though, if she had said what Wendy wanted her to then wouldn't that have brought about the kind of heartache that Wendy so fiercely wanted to protect Dipper from? Anyway, it was a very lovely and touching conversation. Dipper and Pacifica were really so sweet together. Also, nice touch with Pacifica thinking to save Dipper's number even after being through such an ordeal. It was another very telling little moment.
Good thing Wendy recognized Pacifica's sincerity and let her go. The bit about telling Pacifica not to run away because they were bringing her home was a good catch too, both for just being smart and for conveying how sorry Wendy was. Let's just hope there's enough Applejack left to help Wendy get through the "full apology" that Pacifica has in store for her.
So thanks for turning out such a wonderfully intense yet also sweet story, and it's an honor that you'd expand on my little tale so amazingly well. Thanks.
While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.
All works displayed here, whether pictorial or literary, are the property of their owners and not Adult-FanFiction.org. Opinions stated in profiles of users may not reflect the opinions or views of Adult-FanFiction.org or any of its owners, agents, or related entities.
Website Domain ©2002-2017 by Apollo. PHP scripting, CSS style sheets, Database layout & Original artwork ©2005-2017 C. Kennington. Restructured Database & Forum skins ©2007-2017 J. Salva. Images, coding, and any other potentially liftable content may not be used without express written permission from their respective creator(s). Thank you for visiting!
Powered by Fiction Portal 2.0
Modifications © Manta2g, DemonGoddess
Site Owner - Apollo