Reviews for Basement DaleBy : TimedWatcher |
I feel bad that I was laughing at this story. I guess I have some sort of sick morbid curiosity. Needs a part 5. I want to see if they get caught.
I have some suggestions:
1. Introduce the characters, don't just throw their names in
2. More details in the sex scenes
3. Make the scenes flow better
Other than that, it's pretty good! if you want, I am willing to help with it.
Very interesting and well written, looking forwards to what else may happen to poor Connie, mayhaps dales wife joining in?
While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.
All works displayed here, whether pictorial or literary, are the property of their owners and not Adult-FanFiction.org. Opinions stated in profiles of users may not reflect the opinions or views of Adult-FanFiction.org or any of its owners, agents, or related entities.
Website Domain ©2002-2017 by Apollo. PHP scripting, CSS style sheets, Database layout & Original artwork ©2005-2017 C. Kennington. Restructured Database & Forum skins ©2007-2017 J. Salva. Images, coding, and any other potentially liftable content may not be used without express written permission from their respective creator(s). Thank you for visiting!
Powered by Fiction Portal 2.0
Modifications © Manta2g, DemonGoddess
Site Owner - Apollo