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Reviews for Penguin SleddingBy : DarkWolves |
- From RogueMudblood on October 05, 2012
I know this piece is old, but I would recommend giving it a read through. You've got two sentences in the second paragraph (I haven't read further as I type this) that are missing verbs, and don't work well as fragments. You also frequently use too when you mean to use to.
When Kya and Hatkoda are hiding behind the penguins, you have a we're in the text. Did you originally write this in first person?
Leaving aside the animal cruelty, this was a cute interlude between these two.
Happy writing!
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