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Reviews for Team Alphanumeric

By : SSJ04Mewtwo

From ANON - MaxJ1800 on March 03, 2009
LOL I was only kidding on the roof thing. But very funny scene. Mr. Botsford wanting TJ to clean the roof was a nice touch. Oh and you wrote Mrs. Botsford's reaction very well. I'm surprised she didn't grab Becky by the hand and DRAG her to her room.

Not a bad chapter, but one or two minor hiccups. If Tobey found out Wordgirl was pregnant, he wouldn't sick his robots on Mathwhiz and kidnap her. He'd go on a city wide rampage that would make weapon X2's last battle with them seem like a picnic in comparison.

And second, Wordgirl has never met the Predicate Guard, she doesn't have the slightest clue who they are. So you'd think she'd be a bit more confused about the whole thing. It'd make a bit more sense if they came in and started beating on Tobey out of nowhere.

Wordgirl would jump to Tobey's defense, thinking some new villains were attacking him. The guard would explain who they are and Becky would tell them to leave Tobey alone. The guard would protest but Becky would put her foot down. If she's the princess, then she's the boss, so they don't have a choice.

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From ANON - MaxJ1800 on March 02, 2009
Good chapter, no complaints. Nice touch with Violet, that was just priceless. But, man, I feel for Scoops. I know that he didn't really pay that much attention to Becky, but this is still a bitter pill to swallow. Tobey really got a hard shot in. But it'll come back in his face next chapter, I'm sure. Can't wait.

Oh and it had nothing to do with the costumed villains. No ordinary criminal would DARE touch Wordgirl's town.
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From ANON - MaxJ1800 on March 01, 2009
Don't worry about it, they just found out about it. But, once the shock wears off expect Mrs.s Botsford to come down hard on the responsability angle. Between preparing her for the rigors of parenthood and keeping her health in mind, expect Mrs. Botsford to keep her daughter on a VERY short leesh.

Oh and as for side effects, let's not go overboard. Like I said before, the enhanced DNA would probably speed things up, so expect Becky to get VERY hungry VERY fast and start swelling up like a balloon. Thankfully she won't have to put up with this for TOO long.

But man, I wouldn't want to be around Becky when the mood swings kicks in. Expect her to seriously over react to just about everything. Like casually parking TJ on the roof if he starts to mouth off. And while I'm at it, I can't wait for Tobey's reaction when he discovers his precious Wordgirl is pregnant. I'd say there's gonna be a wild time in the town tonight.

For the record, the answer was Clair Kincaid. I'm not really surprised you missed. She was the very first female asistant district attorney on they show and that was years ago.
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From ANON - MaxJ1800 on February 27, 2009
Heh nice touch with the words, only something like that could drive Becky off the deep end. Anyway as for the referance I'll give you one hint. Ever watch Law and Order?
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From ANON - MaxJ1800 on February 26, 2009
Tobey soap box? Ok, maybe a little. I'm just trying to say he's not a straight criminal. At most he's an arrogant brat with a thing for Wordgirl. As for Becky's parents. My advice is to watch as many episodes of the show you can and get as much of a feel for their personalities as you can. Try to have their reactions be as fitting to their personalities as possible.

Here's how I see it. Mr. Botsford is a loveable goof. He might be taken back a bit at first. But before long I see him going into full on spastic excitement mode. Heck you could have him and Violet take turns driving Becky up the wall with enthusiasm. Becky's mom on the other hand is another matter. I see being FAR less enthusiastic about her daughter's sudden under age pregnancy.

Being a district attorney she knows exactly the kind of difficulties come from teen pregnancy. That being said, she's not just going to abandon her daughter. Expect Mrs. Botsford to be the voice of reason. She'll probably see it as her duty to keep Becky's feet on the ground. And don't be surprised if she wants Becky to think of the baby first and Wordgirl second.

As for TJ, don't forget. The last time he found out his sister was Wordgirl he was all but ready to abandon his hero. To the point of refusing to help his sister escape from Dr. Two Brains. This is going to be a VERY bitter pill for TJ to swall. I expect that TJ has more than a little growing up to do before he can come to peace with this.

As for the names, how about Clair for Tim[s mom. Heh, now that's a referance for you. See if you can guess that one. The female villain sounds good. What about Phantasma, you know for Phantasms?

Oh and no offense, I appreciate a good Harry Potter referance as much as the next guy, but it's time to let it go. It's not really adding anything to the story and it's just getting in the way. Though sooner or later the people of the ciy are going to find about Wordgirl's underaged pregnancy and I doubt they'll be please seeing their super hero with other priorities. And god help us when Tobey finds out.
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From ANON - MaxJ1800 on February 24, 2009
Oh I imagine the villains will alwas be around in some form. But you might want to back off on the ring for a bit. Let's face it, that many egos altogether can only spell trouble. As for Tobey I'm not sure what to make of him. Tobey isn't really out for chaos.

He just has a serious puppy dog crush on Wordgirl and he's a raging egomaniac with a seriously thin skin. And the who robotic genius thing doesn't help. If it wasn't for the robots, Tobey would more annoying than anything else. Not to mention that Tobey hasn't exactly had the best experiences working with the other villains in the past. see Mousezilla for the perfect example.

I think Tobey's main problem is that he just really needs to get over Wordgirl. Because, let's face it, she's something he's just never going to have. If he could only find some other girl to focus his attention on, he would be a LOT more bearable.

In fact recent episodes of Wordgirl have shown that when isn't obessively trying to attract Wordgirl's attention or avenging so bruise to his ego he can be fairly tolerable, if a little full of himself. I can Tobey kind of mellowing out as the years go by.

Eventually he'll realize that Wordgirl is just always going to be out of reach. But, then another girl catches his eye and he starts to realize maybe it's not so bad. I'm almost afraid to say it, but maybe even Violet could be the one to tame the beast, so to speak. Heck if she puts her mind to it, she could calm just about anybody down.

Of course, don't get me wrong. Tobey is always going to be at least a bit of a stuck up brat. He just wouldn't be Tobey otherwise. Heck if he put his mind to it, he could use his robots to make a ton of money. Of course his parents already have money, but this money would be his.

I could just see Tobey sitting in a manson all of his own, finally away from mommy. He's got tons of money, a sucessful company and is pretty much just sitting pretty. He could even satisfy his ego by taking every possible opportuity to remind Wordgirl EXACTLY what she could have had. But in the end, what you do with Tobey is up to you.

Anyway I had the idea of the whole pregnancy happening in fast forward, due to Becky and Tim's enhanced DNA. And yes, Becky would finally have to break down and tell her family the truth. And TJ would have to face the horror that his beloved Wordgirl is actually his big sister.

Of course, the discovery that a royal Heir is on the way would essentially mean that the Royal Guard has no choice but present themselves to Becky. If only to let her know exacly how much trouble she's really in for. Heck, I could even see them lending Wordgirl a hand. But she makes it quite clear who's in charge and completly vetos any kind of tech that could be lethal.

Well, whichever way you take this, one thing is clear. Becky Botsford world is about to get a LOT more complicated. Oh and do I sense a knock down, drag out, city-wide super hero fight on the horizon?
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From ANON - MaxJ1800 on February 22, 2009
I just mean that you should keep their personalities in mind and not try to write them too seriously. She may be a princess and super hero and he may be a super soldier. But deep down, Becky is still a teenage girl and Tim is still a teenage guy.

And never fear. All of the glorious episodes of Wordgirl are conveniently available on youtube. http://www.youtube.com/user/PlasmaTheMouse And PBS doesn't even mind. No offense but do yourself a favor, sit down, watch some of the new episodes and remind yourself what the personalities of some of the characters are REALLY like.

Oh and as for broad general suggestions. How about the pic Huggy gave Becky was never designed to contend with genetically enhanced DNA. Everything seems normal at first, but before long Becky and IQ notices some unmistakable sings.

Why not take it one step further. Do to their enhanced DNA, the whole process happens a LOT faster than normal and before anybody knows what's happening Becky has a little bundle of joy in her hands. Of course nobody is particularly happy about this, except maybe Violet, who's bouncing off the walls with excitement, to the point of maybe getting on Becky's nerves.

To put it bluntly, the parents aren't happy, Becky and Tim's lives just got a LOT more complicated and the Cubed Root just wants the kid dead. And of course, due to enhanced DNA the kid is going to shoot up like a weed, literally.

Oh and here's a fun thought, entirely optional. Say Lexiconian weapons tech has some sort of coding that prevents it from being used on Lexiconian DNA. And Decimalian weapons bascially have the same thing. You know, safety first. Now picture this, Becky and Tim's little dynamo has both DNA. Just think about that a minute.
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From ANON - MaxJ1800 on February 20, 2009
Again another great chapter. Although I have to be honest, I could REALLY do without the anal stuff, but that's just me. No offense, but there ARE other holes in the body. Anyway I'm not sure how I should make these reviews, I don't want to come off like I'm trying to write this for you.

Anyway I can't wait to see how Becky reacts to the guardsmen, if she actually stumbles onto them. This has the potention for SO much comedy. Anyway one thing I have to say. No offense but you might want to be carefi; abpit mpt ;ettomg Becky and Tim get TOO serious about this whole thing. Remember, after all is said and done they ARE still kids.

Oh, speaking, of a couple of new episodes debuted lately. Two interesting facts to keep in mind. They actually stated that Becky is a month older the Violet. Becky is ten years seven months and Violet is Ten years and six months, apparantly.

And fact two, Becky can NOT dance. Seriously, she is scary when she dances. She's was wiggling and twitching all over the place. If she's not careful, she could ACTUALLY hurt somebody.
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From ANON - MaxJ1800 on February 13, 2009
Hey, I caught the new update to chapter twenty. Man, Violet is a horny little thing, isn't she? I like the way thos os gearing up. Do I get the feeling that Tim and Becky are going to get stuck somewhere in public with the other three? And be stuck choosing wether to keep their secret or save their friends? You might want to have the Lexiconian soldiers drop in for a little timely intervention.

They don't have to announce it, maybe quietly making something happen in the background that gives Beck and Tim the chance they need to get clear? Anyway keep up the great work. Oh and I know what you mean, having a cold is no fun at all.

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From ANON - MaxJ1800 on January 25, 2009
I think you may be having some uploading problems, I didn't see anything new in chapter 20. Anyway another great chapter, but it would have been so much more fun if Tobey, Scoops and Voilet had decided to just share. And don't forget Tim. Seriously, though, there's no need to keep these chapters so short. Don't be afraid to let scenes run a bit longer.
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From ANON - MaxJ1800 on January 23, 2009
Not, bad, though I wish you'd have stretched the scene with Violet out a bit more. Don't be afraid to add a little length to your chapters. Ok, pour choice of words. But just imagine trying to fly straight while holding someone who keeps trying to cop a feel?

Curious, is X2 done, or will we be seeing more of him? And just a random thought, but are all of Becky's Lexicon family history, I mean it might be interesting if there were a cousin or something floating around somewhere. I wouldn't have Becky's family catch on too quick. I mean her dad is practically the king of oblivious.

Anyway, great stuff so far, I'll let you know when the pic gets done, but it'll probably be a while. Oh and about the dunking, Violet so didn't deserve that. :)
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From ANON - MaxJ1800 on January 18, 2009
Oh, nothinmg much. Just a silly little scene of Violet getting kidnapped and accidentily zapped with the lust ray. Wordgirl rescues her, but has some difficulty dealing with a sex crazed Violet mid flight. I'll leave the rest to your imagination. On a related note, I currently have a pic request pending from an artist. It involves Wordgirl and VIolet sharing a kiss mid flight, based on a screen grab fro the Birthday Girl ep. When the pic is done I could send you the link to it, if you're interested.

Oh, the royal guard are an interesting. But, remember, you saould the Lexiconian royal were somehow special. So, even though the royal guard have similar powers to Wordgirl and Mathwhich, they shoudln't be quite as strong as Becky.

Are the royal guard going to show up on Earth again? I could picture some rather amusing scenes of Becky getting fed up with having them follow her around all the time.
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From ANON - MaxJ1800 on January 15, 2009
Now we're talking. This is getting good. Though I do hope we see more of the lust ray being used on Becky and Tim. Oh, out of curiousity, does the lust ray only work on Becky Tim and X2? Or could it effect other people, like Violet for instance? As I've been reading this story, I've been getting this hilarious little image in my head of Violet accidentily being hit with the lust ray somehow, and getting into a rather akward situation with Wordgirl. Just a thought.
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From ANON - MaxJ1800 on January 09, 2009
Glad to see your back writing again. But a couple of things I should point out.

1: You might want to give weapon x2 a bit of a makeover. I'm sorry, but having him look just like Mathwhiz except for a different outfit and red glowing eyes just screams evil twin syndrome.

2: No, offense, but so far Weapon x2 is coming off as a bit of a wuss. I mean sure he got Mathwhiz down, but one cheap shot from Wordgirl and Mathwhiz has him by the throat? This guy was apparantly designed to be some sort of unstopable fighting machine. Wordgirl and Mathwhiz combined should barely be able to make a dent in this guy.

And it might help if you have him demonstrate exactly how tough he can be. Maybe tear up a good sized chunk of the city, or put some people in the hospital? In the end, Mathwhiz and Wordgirl should beat him by outwitting him instead of out muscling him. Heck, most of the time Wordgirl outwits her enemies anyway.

3: Just a little fun fact. If this guy has the same genetic structure as MathWhiz, then technically, shouldn't that little lust ray Mr. Big invented work on him, too? Just a thought.
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From ANON - MaxJ1800 on November 01, 2008
You sholdn't have to change it. Just say that Beck is something she prefers to reserve for her close friends.
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