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Reviews for Remembering

By : obbiejoe
  • From ANON - theotherdave on May 19, 2008
    Great start to the story.

    Obviously there should be atleast a second chapter, Ron has to thank Kim by giving her at the very least some RonShine.
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  • From ANON - Skeeve on May 17, 2008
    Excellent Job!You have done a great job of creating a compelling story line. From the first Paragraph to the last, you told a story that held my attention and left me wanting more. Many adult fan fic authors do not take the time to craft the characters surroundings, or to explain why their character are doing something. You have done both, and done it well.
    Hope to see more soon!
    Skeeve
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  • From ANON - Joe on May 17, 2008
    Wow!
    Really excellently written.
    Please continue!

    Joe
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  • From ANON - Baldy on May 15, 2008
    One thing I must mention is that a lot of your sentences run on. There's quite a few that would work better as two or three separate ones, so watch out for that next time. But other than that, great start.
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  • From darkecofreak23 on May 14, 2008
    Not a bad premise, but you need a beta-reader in the worst way. At least you didn't just throw them into a sex scene like some writers are wont to do. You need help with sentence structure, commonly confused words, comma splices, coordinating conjunctions, run-ons, misspellings, and a few other things. And BTW, pointingly is not a word at all. Try to come up with something else.
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  • From TheGriffin on May 14, 2008
    great start. Can't wait to read more
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  • From ANON - Big guy on May 14, 2008
    I think you should continue. It's well thought out and a nice story. I'm interested to here Rons explanation to Kim. I really hope you do continue, since I look forward to what happens next.
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