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Reviews for The Dragon and the Siren

By : Spleef

From ANON - Sugs on December 16, 2007
I love it, i love it, I love it, i never get tired of reading your stories and I wish you all the speed and creativity you end to finish the next one!
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From ANON - Monkey D. Robbie on December 14, 2007
I must say, that was a very kind & considerate thing Jun did. Katara deserves happiness and her father should respect her decision no matter. I must say Spleef that is an interesting though of Jun & Katara being inlaws. I can already see the family potrait na. Thankyou very much for the update, I must say that it uplifted the mood from the previous chapter.
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From Scorpinac on December 14, 2007
Well, at least we're getting some improvement here. Not much though... Liked the mention of Suki and Ty Lee being back with the circus(and still having the hots for poor Sokka! Hehhehheh...) Well, I look forward to part XV. Laters.
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From LdyDarkStr on December 14, 2007
You have NO idea how long I've been waiting for you to update! Now...get to the rest of your fics! Haha! Just kidding! You do a wonderful job with the characters and I cannot wait for the reunion scene that is coming. I fully expect to be salivating!! More! NOW!
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From DarkRoseofChaos on December 14, 2007
I was so happy to see you update another one of your stories so soon! I check your page almost daily now! Uhoh, defiant Katara, this could mean bad for Hakoda and good kinky for Zuko in the near future! I am glad that Jun wasnt refused, good thing that Sokka isnt too much of a brute for his own good! I hope that you update this and your other stories soon. A good read, yet again!
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From ANON - Scarylady on December 14, 2007
*giggles* Katara's got her spunk back (and a method of escape). It's wonderful to see you've updated. :)
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From lovingall on November 12, 2007
I really like this story. I have been reading it for a while and I thought I would leave a review to be nice. Afterall, you took the time to write it I as a reader could take the time to review it. I wait for the next installment.
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From BeyondSight on November 12, 2007
This first started out as a review� and it being my first� I seem to have gone a little too far� Yeah... Anyway it ended up being a summarization of also the thoughts that went though my head� I do get a bit silly in here�

***WARNING CONTAINS MASSIVE STORY SPOILERS! READ STORY FIRST!

My deepest apologies to you SpleefMistress, for any offenses that you may find, I truly am loving this story. I do get a bit silly at times here, but please remember that I am also describing certain thoughts that I had, in order for you to better understand what visions and thoughts your writing may spark in the heads of your readers.

Alas I am simply a shy man with many thoughts, a large vocabulary, and a lot of time.
Enjoy.

Let me tell you this SpleefMistress. I just read your story COMPLETELY through to chapter 13. Right now, it is 4:09 AM
I just COULD NOT stop reading your story.
THAT is how much I liked it.

Chapter 1 - I
The opening, or prologue, I find is a beautiful adaptation. The opening itself makes me want to know more, and to read on.
As for what you've made of the Gods. I find it a very good and strong change of the ATLA plot, to your story.
Starting out with the girl Katara, truthfully I was looking for a more specific description of the room or place that the Gods met at, although I liked your description of the large island volcano. It gave me a terrific image in my head.

.. and I specifically love the congregation that you have put all of these Gods in, the children playing about, and the entire setting. It creates a great scene in my head.
On a constructive note however, I had trouble imagining the actual room layout. I got the feel, but I found myself going back and checking myself when you introduced new elements, like Toph (I�m assuming as the blind Earth God) under the tree. The tree brought a new look to the scene in my head.
I originally got the image of a great hall, made of white marble, well lit, with a bunch of people walking throughout, doing their stuff.
As for any love plot that involves Katara, which I�m assuming there will be, my only thought about that so far is that Katara seems kind of young, or at least I imagined her and Aang as being younger than you meant.
But so far it works well.

Chapter 2 - II

Your italic prologue again for this chapter, to me it�s a beautiful description that brings images in my head. Personally, Zuko�s wanting of Katara seems to have developed extremely quickly, it sort of popped and he like her. I think that it might have been better to have Zuko more gradually develop a liking for her.
My thoughts on Katara�s age are now changed, it seems very suitable now.
I loved the idea of the jewel and taking Katara.
It feels as if I�m seeing all of this so clearly in my head.

Chapter 3 and 4 � III and IV

I imagine Katara and her blue shining scales, with her translucent wings would look very beautiful in the light of the magma. The Gods� ability to fly is a really nice touch to this story. It adds a feel of more, playful, carefree-ness, and I like how you�ve added the simple yet great touches to this story that most people wouldn�t think for. Examples of that being, their flying, Katara actually being a siren. It all seems to fit together pretty well. �and now my preservations based on their ages have changed.

Chapter 5 - V

I don�t really have that much to say but I love how you keep having Katara blushing... lol
She is so innocent and beautiful. That is why everyone loves her I suppose.

Chapter 6 - VI

I am personally loving the way you are enabling each god to submerse itself in his or her own element. Katara skating the seas and diving into the water. Zuko being able to penetrate the magma. Aang being of Air descent feathery wings made for being airborne longer. Another element I noticed is that you used the fact that dragons tend to surround themselves in treasure. Just as Zuko, a dragon has in his lair.

I like the touch you added of Katara�s honor, and that she is preserving it by keeping her promise to come back to Zuko, and that also she was still defiant by staying out just that tiny bit longer.
�Personal Relaxation Chamber�, God I wish I had one of those.
And I like how you had Katara use Zuko�s own words against him.

The scene in the spring is by far my favorite spring, with all of the teasing and playfulness with each other.

Chapter 7 - VII

�He wanted to make love to her in every position and reduce her to a pile of thoroughly-sexed Water Maiden mush.� GOD WHAT A DAMN HOT SENTENCE!

�Despite what had gone down so far� Lol, you can�t contain your pimpness.

Chapter 8 - VIII

Hmmm� what movie does this remind me of?... Alexander? Troy?�
It�s the one where one guy takes another guy�s wife and the first guy then goes looking for her and wages war in order to have her back.
Again I like how you made them as gods.

A serious note� It seems that there are quite a number of gods� Long Feng is a god too? The reach of the god kingdom is far.

Katara�s rage was a great touch. Her lashing out seems to show only a small part of what is capable of.

Chapter 9 - IX

Great turnaround, having Aang discover Katara with Zuko, this undoubtedly will bring a few� problems to put it lightly.
And a passionate sex scene. Awsome!
Zuko is indeed winning her over.

Chapter 10 - X

Damn it Aang. You�d never understand!

A serious note� My �supposed� review is getting less and less serious. I wonder why� It�s not that I�m not enjoying myself� because I really am. W/e

Chapter 11 - XI

A serious note� Having Toph as one of the older gods making a large decision is a pretty good idea. However it is a bit jarring (to me personally) because I still see Toph as the little girl she is in ATLA.

This is seriously what I was thinking�
NOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo!!!! SPEAK UP KATARA! GO WITH ZUKO!!
Damn it! Don�t just stay quiet! COME ON! TELL HOKODA YOU LOVE ZUKO!
Fanboyish of your story I know. XD
Sort of like yelling at my TV screen during a horror movie. �Don�t go in that door, he�ll get ya!�

(Damn I�m starting to sound like a complete idiot� Well, at least I�m able to realize that)

Chapter 12 � XII

On another serious note. I like the touch of Jun being with Iroh. However, again my biased opinions from the ATLA series are getting in the way.

As predicted, Zuko is not in a very good mental state.

Chapter 13 � XIIV? Or XIII? Roman numerals aren�t my thing. XD

OH NOES!! I�m already to chapter 13! There aren�t any chapters after this one!
Not that I�m rushing you. Please take your time. I wouldn�t want to retard your work, if I haven�t already done so. (retard means to hinder, or slow the development of. So don�t go off making baseless accusations people) ((Why I am acting like this?))

XD

A serious note� As you can see, your writing is having a really positive affect on my demeanor and mood. Your writing is intelligent, descriptive, clear, realistic, and � (forgot the word�.. viewconic?... no� damn it..)

I like the introduction flashback from Mai�s point of view, another nice touch.

Serious note� I found myself pondering over this one sentence�
�Who wanted a scarred man� I did a double take and reread the paragraph� several times. I just got caught up on this one sentence. Then I realized it�s missing a question mark. It was supposed to be �Who wanted a scarred man?�
I was thinking it meant... �Someone who had wanted a scarred man�
The context was different.

Mai has a� kind of scratchy voice, almost like a wheezy voice. It�s kind of hard imagining her saying these things to Zuko. Of course that�s only another biased opinion from the ATLA series.

HAH! Laughs sarcastically. The other guys trying their hands at winning her heart. Pbt

Long Feng you fucker.
He really is an ass!
Whoa! Dei Lee agents? A little sudden and unexpected but it works.
Ha ha and she completely kicks his ass! Awsome.
�and nice touch with the storm coming from Katara.

And yes Hakoda is finally realizing that Katara may actually have feeling for Zuko.

OH NOES THERE IS NO MORE!! (pouts)

END--------------------- Until further notice.
MAJOR REVIEW!
Okay, seriousness here�
Throughout the chapters I noticed a few small punctuation and spelling errors, as can be expected, especially compared to some of the crap that gets published here. Only one major error that I can think of� that missing question mark in chapter 13.
I also suggest that you remove the timestamps that you missed while editing this story. (smirks)

As for your writing in total in this story.
I overall felt that your vocabulary and intelligence was higher than the average fan writer by far. You have a real talent for being descriptive and creating an image in the reader�s head. However, there were certain elements to the story that I feel were lacking description, for example the layout of the beginning room where Katara first met Zuko, another thing I would have liked more information about in the story was further classification of the gods. Zuko is fire. Pakku is ice, Hakoda is sea, Katara is ocean? Aang is? Basically I just felt certain aspects needed more explaining.

I feel the plot of Zuko wanting Katara and soon taking her for his, was a rather solid one.
Entire wars have been fought over women.
I feel you have represented your characters well.
My favorite scene was the Spring where Katara and Zuko chase each other around in circles.

I have to say I am further astounded by your writing abilities. This a great work in progress. You are demanding some real respect here, and I have to give it to you.

After considerable thinking and hours reading�
I have decided to award you 4.8 out of 5 stars. Wear them proudly.

I do realize that this story is unfinished and I will look forward to your future chapters and future works.

You are very welcome for the lengthy (too lengthy?) review.
Many people it seems decided to just comment that they liked the story.
This is a heartfelt review, telling what I really did think.
No offenses were meant.
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From Pained on November 10, 2007
Update. Give me more chapters and I'll comment more eloquently... right now can't even think straight. Sleep deprivation. Please let me know when you've added a new chapter.

P
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From ANON - Novicegirl on November 09, 2007
I started reading this yesterday but got interrupted. I just finished it and I want to say this is a wonderful story and I will be reading your next update for sure.
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From ANON - Skylark on November 07, 2007
I just have to say this story keeps getting better and better. dont ever quit makeing this. thank you.
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From ANON - InkHeart17 on November 06, 2007
Intense chapter. And I adored the opening! Stick it to Mai, girl! We gotta keep Zutara strong
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From DarkRoseofChaos on November 05, 2007
wow, that was a great chapter! I have checked this story almost daily so I am really happy that you updated. I hope you update soon. Poor Zuko....(I dont really like Mai.....)
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From ANON - Monkey D. Robbie on November 05, 2007
Yo Spleef I forgot to ask a question, does Katara have like deadline or a time limit or anything to make her decision?

Will she have to make that decision public to all the gods?

I'm only asking cause it seems like she is taking alot of time to make up her mind. No doubt she is going through a very emotional & stressful time, but it seems to me that she could have been deliberating on whther to stay with Zuko or her old man at Zuko's palace. Maybe den she probably wouldn't have felt so bad and have all these damn suitors & stuff after her.

Dats just my opinion.
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From ANON - Ebil on November 04, 2007
What a marvelous chapter! I loved this so much, the scene with Bato and Katara was very sweet. Hope to see more!
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