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Reviews for Slow Heat

By : Spleef

From ANON - Becca on December 24, 2008
Hey!
I reaaallly love "Slow heat" It's a fascinating story!!

though, i do have one critic.
Everything is wonderful!! Don't get me wrong~
But I think a variation of phrases would bring so much more to the imagery to the story.
Arg, here I am trying to give a critic and I can't even put it in the right words.
Ok.
Example of what I mean:

tawdry coupling
but coupling with this dark-skinned creature
Did he want more than just this coupling
I recalled the heated coupling
I remembered the heated coupling
Fevered coupling

no offense but it was kinda like reading a broken record at times? (sorry if that sounds harsh i just arg, i'm horrible with words, thus I don't write. though that seems oddly hypocritical...it is just...I sure as hell cant express myself, but give me someone Else's expressions and I can go to town...or something like that hahaha )

ANYWAY
if you ever decide to revise chapter 16 (that's as far as I've gotten thus far) i think this should be a priority in what is to be changed.
Words such as union and embrace would add such wonderful color!
there are sure to be many more words out there I'm just to lazy to think of them (seeing that it is already 12:44am)

Moving on from that
I STILL ENJOY THIS STORY WITH MAJOR CAPS

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From CoffeeGyrl on December 20, 2008
I adore the sweetness and warmth that Katara and Zuko are growing into. And I love Zuko's thoughts on how he's not going to compete w/ a boy who's barely hit puberty, so nice.

I love the development w/ Chit San ooooohhh I can't wait to see what you're doing with this.
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From ANON - lavenderhilllove on December 18, 2008
Thank you so much for updating! I was afraid you forgot about us. This was a good chapter. I feel sad knowing what's going to happen. I was wondering, what's going on with Capture of the Maiden? I love all your work but that is my favorite Zuko and Katara story.
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From moor on December 17, 2008
It's so clear how you convey the difference in maturity levels between Aang, Sokka, and Zuko -- and I really hope Suki's ok!
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From ANON - Raven on November 30, 2008
I suppose I owe you an apology for not reviewing each chapter, but since I just sat down and plowed through it one sitting, I hope you will understand that I loved every minute of it! In the last chapter, I noticed you said 2/3 done, so I am hoping there will be more? Meanwhile, I'm off to se what else you have posted! Thanks for sharing this wonderful story!
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From ANON - Rose on November 29, 2008
I love this story and can't wait for the next installment! :)
The only thing I would point out is that the depiction of Aang is really biased, which is fine seeing that it is told from Zuko and Katara's points of view, but there has to be something redeeming about him right? He can't just be wholly this whining little kid vying for her attentions, there should be some maturity to him. I'm not saying that I don't like what you've done with the characters in this story, but it would be nice if Aang had a fairer depiction somewhere along the line. Surely this is a zutara fic but maybe they can reach a compromise of sorts, as the story goes on? Just a thought. Keep up the great work !
With all due respect,
Rose
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From AdamIam on November 24, 2008
It is always a joy and pleasure to read your hard work. I wait for more anxiously! Walkingpapers
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From ANON - Coffee Gyrl on November 22, 2008
Awww gawds the ending killed me! Dude you do pillow talk so freaking well, I'm fanning myself here! Love, love, love, love this story!

I love Azula, I love the tension, I love the bending, I love the bromance....I LOVE IT ALL!
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From ANON - lavenderhilllove on November 22, 2008
Thank you for updating! I really like this story. But is it just me or are the chapters getting shorter? You're a really good writer but this chapter felt like fluff. It left me thinking, that's it? I hope you update soon I want this story to keep going.
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From ANON - lavenderhilllove on October 30, 2008
You are my favorite author for fanfiction of all time! Seriously when are you going to publish a book? You're awesome! Please update soon on all your amazing stories.
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From ANON - Kris on October 26, 2008
I really like the direction that you have taken with this story! The characterization is fantastic (all thoug I would love some more Sokka interaction) especially Zuko. I look forward to the next chapter.
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From ANON - Lancentte on October 14, 2008
Ah... You thrill me. I love this chapter so much. No, really, I do. Finally we see them together again after such a long time, and they are so cute.

Ha! Avatar gets what he deserves! lol Well, I don't know exactly. I'm just being mean, but really, its just that I've been holding a grudge for him ever since he kissed her in DBS. I don't really relish the feeling of seeing them together, no matter if he might die the next second. I just don't really like him all that much in the first place, so well, obviously when he's just messing things up for Zutara, I can really get to the point of hating him. But still, having fun with him in this chapter just kills me(in a good way). I like how he's feeling jealous, its funny. Good timing for us, bad timing for him, because Katara wants with Zuko now.

Anyways, I really like how you're making them get closer. I like secrets! You know what? You're making me get hyper, and I don't know if that's good. So far the scar has really gotten Katara to think about him in a different way now that she knows where and how it came to him. Yay, I really do want her to care for him. I don't know why but I keep coming back to the part at the end of the chapter where Katara smirks inwardly when she knows how much Aang likes her and is jealous of Zuko. I can't help laughing out loud, because its really so cynically awesome. Aww, and there I was thinking she would be mature about it, but oh, its feels just so wonderfully good when I read that part. Oh my God, please don't hate me, I know I'm evil. XD Hahaha. One thing that really craked me up was the part where you say Aang has become Zuko's cockblocker. The word seemed to pop right out of the page towards me when I first saw it. lol

One thing that keeps coming to my mind and that I've been fearing is the whole "what's coming next?" question. I don't know exactly how you've planned this story since its been changing a little not only due to the fact that Zuko's been with the Gaang for far longer, but in itself, the story has really been altered to where it can really go very differently from the show. Let me tell you that since the beginning of Slow Heat I've enjoyed it very much. Its actually become one of my favorite stories written by you(more than Hot Water-which I really like btw). It has been filled with more action which makes me want to read more more, like your original idea of the ruse, Iroh's separating from the group, Blue Lady collaborating and Hama's disappearance, as well as more. This story has so much potential, and I love that about it! But what comes back to me every time I read it is the fact that its connected to the show story line as well. I honestly wouldn't want you to write the same ending to this story of the show. I just think it would be a waste. I've never read the sequel to this so I'm not entirely sure whether you have already explained the ending or not. Still I beg of you, for my sake, and the sake of all other readers that you end this differently, seeing as no one would want a repetition of the show all over again. I really like your stories because they always go out a little bit out of the box in some way and you make things seem so real, you can just really blow me away sometimes. So I think I've made myself clear. Anyways, I really hope you consider my thoughts. Your story is a big part of my life.
Thank you again,
Lancentte
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From CoffeeGyrl on October 12, 2008
My heart burns for you! You really made my day, and it was long hard one.

It was so nice to come home to a new chapter of one of my favorite stories. I really enjoy how Zuko's trying to keep the snarkyness in its so cute. And Katara is maturing up so well. I'm really enoying what you're doing and I love reading this story.
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From ANON - ELG on September 10, 2008
I'm LOVING this story so far. It really has made me grow to like this couple even more than I already do :D Please keep it up!
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From ANON - Lancentte on September 06, 2008
Oh my God. Wow. That's all I can say. Up till now, the story has been so good. I just simply love it. You know, all that Zuko went through. I can't begin to imagine. Too many long hours of thinking(perverted thoughts) and seeing her(naked) got to him. Yeah, but what more could any of us expect? lol 8D I love the way you wrote chapter 16. It was the perfect way of making them get together. Ideal Zutara sex right there. Chapter 20 is great. It made me go soft seeing Zuko and Katara act all cuddly in there. It added a simple little sweetness to the whole story, just by thinking about them sleeping in his bed doing nothing. And then when they start sparring and Zuko ends up winning, its like one of my favorite parts of the story so far when he's on top of her, leans down towards her and says "Victor takes the spoils." I don't know why, but I think that has been one of the sexiest things he's said to her.

One little complaint I must tell you about, not trying to be mean or making you change anything huge, but I have to say that something in this story has been kind of bothering me lately. It happens mostly once in a while when I hear Zuko talk about his future, especially about Katara and him. I mean, how is he so sure he really wants her like forever, you know? And most of the time, when he says or thinks about things like that, you almost never make him think about just how much he cares about her, or what he really feels when he decides things. It makes me cringe every time I read about him saying something like that. For me, I think its too sudden for him and her when he asks her to be his consort. Even back in chapter 16, when he tells her he wants to change things for the better between them after doing it, he sounds too sure of himself. Maybe making him doubt a little more would be better. I mean, he is only 17 years after all, and only an exiled prince, he's not even sure if they are going to win the war and if he's going to end up being Fire Lord, and he's aware of that. I mean, I know we know their going to win, but he doesn't. And he's suddenly telling her all these things about how he wants to take her to the Fire Nation and make her his ambassador/wife, and well, it kind of makes me get a little frustrated on how he's going so fast with their relationship. Teens always want to get laid first, but do they ever really think about what's next? No. You know, and Zuko is too certain of what he wants. In the show, he's been known to do things without really thinking about the future, and I don't think he's really in character when you make him say all of those things. Yeah, he likes her a lot, but does he really want to marry her? That's the question. And it would stress the story a lot more and make it more interesting if he spent more time wondering about that, instead of just telling her straight out the first time.

Ha! ok! I finally got that off my chest. My little fingers are sweating already. So anyways, just a simple suggestion, and I hope you agree with me on it. But other than that, I think this story is one of he best I've read of yours. So far, it has the ideal Zutara theme, you know, they're not supposed to be together and all of that, and I like the way you've been working around it. Most people don't do it that well, and you chose the perfect way of doing it by making Katara feel so bad about herself the day after and slowly solving it out. I like the way that they're going to keep it their little secret for now, and I wonder just how long it will keep being a secret. Very good. I really like your style and I praise you very much. Like I said before, no one in the Zutara fan section in AFF has ever gone beyond you, and I hope it stays like that. What a wonderful story. Keep writing for all of your love starved and hormonal driven readers out here. If there was a way to hear us through the net, I know almost everyone would be shouting your name out in worship. And of course telling you to not stop writing. Lovely, very lovely. Now I will go to leave you to your story making. Till next time.
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