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Reviews for Obsession

By : Neko234
  • From Scienceteacher on November 21, 2008
    A reasonably well-written piece..
    -BUT-

    There were so many opportunities for expansion that weren't taken, which would've made this piece really come to life..

    Example:

    What was Megatron doing as he watched? Was he impassionate - or - was the rape turning him on so much that he self-interfaced right then-and-there

    Where was the emotional angst, humiliation, pain, etc - in Bumblebee? Unless he'd secretly had a crush on Lugnut - there's no way he'd truly emotionally enjoy a rape. Where's the intense emotion? The fear? The internal rage?

    Why was Bumblebee battered? From what you've written the only part of him that should've been sore was his port. Where was the beating? The energon-spilt... torture... etc..

    'Flesh out' your fics more. Make us salivate to every drop of energon spilt as Lugnut thrusts himself into BB so hard that BB feels that his insides are splitting...
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  • From yodana on November 18, 2008
    Fffffff!! Babe, you -KNOW- I fapped myself silly and came rainbows while reading this! X////D
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  • From Dragolover2 on November 16, 2008
    Now you did a combo thing. Once again, more Lugnut/BB and more Lockdown/BB, please.
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