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Star's Crossed Lovers	By : GeorgeGlass Category: +S through Z > Star vs. The Forces of Evil Views: 22550 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Vs. the Forces of Evil or its characters. I made no money from writing this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter 5: Coming Clean, Getting Dirty

“I…” Star began timidly, “I put a...a love potion in the glowberry punch.”

“WHAT?” Marco shouted, but then remembered his parents downstairs and slapped a hand over his own mouth again.

“I’m sorry! I panicked!” Star squeaked. “Nobody was talking, and I was scared that Oskar and Jackie weren’t having fun, and then when I went to the bar I saw this witch sitting there, and I just...I thought…”

“Oh my gosh,” Marco said as implications began flooding into his head. “Did you...did you put that stuff in all our drinks?”

“No, just the first round, I swear!”

“No, I mean, did you give it to all four of us?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, I couldn’t just give it to Oscar and Jackie without giving it to us, too. That would be creepy.”

“That’s the part you think is creepy?” Marco hissed. “Oh, jeez, we have to tell them! And then Jackie’s probably never going to talk to me again!”

“Marco, I’m sorry, I didn’t think-”

“No, you didn’t!” Marco cried. He’d been on top of the world less than half an hour ago, and now he was almost in tears. “I thought that, that Jackie liked me...but it was all...fake!”

“No, Marco,” Star said desperately, “it’s not-”

“I’m gonna go sleep on the couch,” Marco said coldly as he grabbed up his blanket and pillow. “Good night.”

Star reached out as if to grab him, even though he was already past the threshold of her bedroom door.

“Marco-”

The door slammed behind him.

***

Tom looked at his image in a hand mirror. He had just finished polishing his horns with some Dr. Boggs’ Hex Wax, and now they had a handsome pearlescent sheen.

“Hey, stud,” he said to his reflection. “Those horns are lookin’ sharp.” He chuckled at his own pun.

“Sir?” a voice said.

“Gyah!” Tom shouted, dropping the mirror onto his dressing table. He whipped his head around and saw Boner standing in the doorway.

“Damn it, Boner, don’t sneak up on me like that!”

“Sorry, sir.”

“What is it, anyway?”

“You have a visitor. She’s waiting at the front gate. Doesn’t seem happy about it.”

Tom, grinning evilly, said, “Good.”

***

Tom was seated in his easy chair when Boner escorted a demon into the parlor. She had red skin, black eyes, and curled horns like a ram’s, and her red corseted dress fit her tall, wasp-waisted figure perfectly.

“Hey there, Ruby,” Tom said, gesturing to a chair next to his. The female demon remained standing.

“What do you want, Tom?” she said with unmistakable disdain. “I’ve got a lot of tormenting to do today.”

“Is that any way to talk to the Prince of the Underworld?”

“If you weren’t the Prince of the Underworld,” Ruby replied, “I wouldn’t be talking to you at all.”

“So,” Tom replied smugly, “I guess it would be accurate to say that you’re not my biggest fan?”

“We went out for a hundred and thirty years, and then you broke up with me by text. What do you think?”

“Okay, then,” Tom said evenly.

On the side table next to Tom sat a jar of something gray and viscous. Its consistency was somewhere between jelly and tar, judging by the way it behaved when Tom dipped something like a paint-stirring stick into the jar and stirred it around.

“This,” he said, “is a little something I had the royal alchemist cook up for me. It took her a couple of months, because no one’s ever made anything exactly like it before. So I figured I’d better test it out before I use it on its intended recipient.”

Tom pulled the stirring-stick out of the jar and, with a flick of his wrist, flecked a glob of the gray goo at Ruby.

“Hey!” Ruby shouted as the stuff splattered across the front of her red dress.

Ignoring the murderous look in Ruby’s eyes, Tom continued, “See, I realized that Star—the girl I dumped you for—is never going to like me for who I am. But with a few tweaks to her personality, I could be her perfect boyfriend again, because she’d be my perfect girlfriend: angry like me, totally devoted to me, and, of course, savagely horny.”

Tom stood up as Ruby took a few steps toward him, looking ready to strangle him. Then she stopped.

“Tell me how you feel about me,” Tom said calmly.

“I want to...” she started, her fists and teeth clenched. “I want…I…”

“Go on,” Tom said.

“I want…you,” she breathed.

Tom smiled. “So, it’s working.”

Then she grabbed him by the lapels. “Now.”

“Whuh-oh,” said Tom.

Ruby hurled him onto a nearby sofa, then straddled him, her eyes afire.

“Get inside me,” she hissed.

“Looks like Gladys made the formula a little strong,” Tom commented. Then he forcibly rolled himself and Ruby onto the floor, landing on top of her.

“What’s the magic word?” he said tauntingly.

She ripped his shirt open, shouting, “Fuck me!”

“Close enough.”

Boner, standing outside the door, heard crashing noises, grunts, and the sounds of clothing and possibly upholstery being torn to shreds. Then he heard his master shouting to him.

“Boner! Have Gladys stop by here this afternoon!”

“Yes, sir.”

“And—oof!—the royal chiropractor!“

“Of course, sir.”

***

Star lay in her bed, staring up at the canopy. She didn’t know whether she wanted to beg Marco’s forgiveness for what she had done, or yell at him for not listening to her. All she knew was that she hated feeling this way: like there was a black stew of guilt, anger, and fear roiling in her stomach.

But what she found more upsetting was that after their fight, Marco had gone off to sleep on the couch. She didn’t know why that bugged her so much until she realized that it was exactly the sort of thing her parents would do.

Well, she wasn’t having it. She was going to go downstairs and somehow make things right with Marco. Now.

She marched to her bedroom door and practically threw it open. And there stood Marco, looking surprised. Maybe as surprised as Star felt.

“I…I was trying to think of what to say,” Marco started. “I’m...sorry I yelled at you.”

“And I’m sorry that I...did what I did,” Star replied.

“I just...everything was so great,” Marco said, looking down at the floor. “And then...to find out that it, that it wasn’t real, it...it just felt so-”

“No, Marco, you don’t understand,” Star interrupted. “The potion can’t make people fall in love. It just brings out feelings they already have.”

“R- Really?” Marco said, blinking and looking up again.

“On Mewni, some people take it when they go on their first date, just to, you know, see if there’s anything there,” Star explained. “So it’s kind of a normal thing for us.”

“Wow,” Marco said, briefly lost in thought. Then, returning to the moment, he continued, “I guess I would have known that if I’d let you explain, instead of just storming off.”

“And you’d have known it a lot sooner if I’d talked to you before I put the potion in our drinks.”

“The thing is,” Marco said, “on Earth, it’s...really not cool to give somebody something like that without telling them. Especially in a date-type situation. Because, you know, we’re kind of big on the whole consent thing here.”

“Oh,” Star said. “I didn’t think about it like that. I...I guess we’d better talk to Oskar and Jackie tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Marco agreed.

They were both silent for a moment. Then Star spoke.

“Do you...want to go get your blanket and pillow?”

Marco smiled weakly. “Yeah. I do.”

***

Late that night, Star, her arm around the sleeping Marco, was awakened by a voice that was whispering loudly from her doorway. She quickly recognized the speaker as Mrs. Diaz.

“Rafael,” the woman called quietly. “Come here. I think we have a problem.”

Star heard Marco’s father’s footsteps approach the door. After a moment, the man whispered back.

“No, it is perfectly innocent, you see?” Mr. Diaz said. “Star is underneath the covers, and Marco is on top of them.”

There was a pause. Then Mrs. Diaz said, “Oh. Well, that’s…actually kind of sweet.”

I’m a genius, Star thought.

Hearing the Diazes walk away, she snuggled closer to Marco, then fell back to sleep.

***

The next morning, Star and Marco agreed to go and see Jackie and Oskar. Star, feeling contrite, suggested that they talk to Jackie first, so that Marco could deal with his worries sooner rather than later.

Having made the arrangements by text, Marco and Star met up with Jackie at a café that was in walking distance of both their houses. The place was not busy, so they had some privacy—which Marco considered essential, given his concern that the discussion could end with Jackie screaming at him. Or slapping him.

Star took the lead in explaining what happened. Jackie listened patiently, not saying much until Star was finished. Then Jackie said something Marco wasn’t expecting.

“Oh, thank God.”

“Huh?” said Marco.

“I thought…I mean, it was our first date, and I practically…just, the way I was acting…I thought I’d turned into a total slut.”

“A total what?” Star asked.

“You know,” Jackie said awkwardly, “a girl who…fools around with any guy she wants.”

In response to Star’s look of puzzlement, Marco said, “She means sex-wise.”

“Oh,” Star said. “That’s awful.”

“Well, yeah,” Jackie said, looking ashamed. “That’s why there’s a word for it.”

“No, I mean it’s awful that you have a word like that!” Star clarified. “If a girl really likes a guy, why shouldn’t she do what she wants with him? If he wants it, too, I mean.”

Jackie seemed to take a moment to consider this. Then she turned to Star and said, “Could I have a minute alone with Marco?”

“Um, sure,” Star said. “I’ll just go freshen up.”

When Star was gone, Jackie looked at Marco. “I’m sorry I…freaked out on you last night.”

Marco was taken aback. The last thing he’d expected was for Jackie to apologize to him, and not the other way around.

“No, no, I totally understand,” Marco managed.

“It’s…it’s not that I don’t like you,” Jackie said. “Because…well…Anyway, I just hadn’t expected to do…so much…on a first date.”

“I get it,” Marco assured her. “I wasn’t expecting…all that, either.”

“And I, I felt kind of bad,” Jackie said, “because I sort of thought maybe you and Star might, you know, be a thing.”

“Oh, no, no,” Marco replied. “We’re ju-” He stopped, smiled, and said, “We’re best friends.”

“Cool,” Jackie said, returning his smile.

After a moment, Marco said, “Soooo, you called that our first date. Does that mean…there might be a second one? Potion-free, I promise,” he added, holding up his hands.

“There’s a party at Chantelle’s house on Friday night,” Jackie offered. “Maybe we could go together?”

“That sounds great,” Marco replied.

***

Star and Marco’s apology to Oskar went even more smoothly. After hearing Star’s explanation, he simply said, “Cross-cultural misunderstanding. No big.”

***

On Monday, Janna approached Star in the hallway at school.

“Hey,” she said in that whispering tone of hers that Star could never quite interpret. “Didn’t see that body at the pier.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Star said. Remembering the results of her internet research on Grandpa Rogelio’s phone, she went on, “I got confused; that actually happened in El Salvador. My bad.”

“Uh-huh,” Janna said. “See ya.” She walked away.

***

During that week, Star and Oskar, too, decided to attend Chantelle’s party. Therefore, they, Marco, and Jackie agreed to meet on Friday night at the Diaz house—which was relatively close to Chantelle’s—and walk over to the party together.

“You know,” Marco said as he and Star finished putting themselves together in front of the bathroom mirror, “there’s something important that we haven’t talked about.”

“I don’t have any potions on me, I swear,” Star said rapidly.

“Good to know, but that’s not it,” Marco replied. “What I mean is, we’ve completed Step One: Engage Them in Conversation, and Step Two: Ask Them Out. But have we completed Step Three: Awesome First Date?”

“I…I guess not,” Star said, eyes downcast.

“See, I disagree,” Marco said.

“Huh?”

“Well, it wasn’t perfect,” Marco explained, “and if we could do it over again, we’d do it differently, but…there’s no denying that it was awesome.”

She looked up at him, eyes starry. “It was awesome, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, it was. And if we can have some more awesome dates without magical help, then I’d say Project Wingman is still headed for success.”

Star smiled widely. “I don’t know whether to hug you or fistbump you right now.”

“Why settle for just one?”

They embraced, then performed the wingman fistbump. And just as their mutual caw died away, the doorbell rang.

“Right on cue,” Marco said slickly.

They went downstairs, and Marco opened the door.

“Hey, how’s- Oh, no,” he gasped.

Jackie was standing on the front walkway, a few feet from the door, her blue-green eyes wide with fear. Behind her stood a tall figure whose face was hidden by the hood of its black robe—and which had its arm around Jackie’s neck.

Marco saw movement to his left and realized that a second dark figure was standing there, pinning Oskar against the wall next to the door. From behind them a third figure stepped into view.

“Give us the wand,” it rasped.

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