Reviews for Twist My Arm

BY : GeorgeGlass


  • From Fairy-Slayer on June 22, 2020

    Chapter 5+ 

    Heh, that was a mean trick to play on Lori – but oh-so deserved, regardless of her deeper reasons. I agree that Ronnie Anne is quite the evil genius, and Lincoln did an excellent job with his end of the ruse. The descriptions of Lori's trepidation and distraction were nearly as good at the kids' hardcore final drive-in. (I guess the Friday sessions made up the "drive-in" count to match the number of movies. ;) ) 

    Still, it's sweet that he and Lori cleared the air after seeing them off despite having been a pain in the ass. (It sounded like she managed to get through it okay though.) Lincoln & Ronnie Anne's live chat had a nice vibe to it, and you made it clear that they were going to "finish" that conversation very nicely.

    Thanks for another fun & sexy little tale. Good to know that you've got more LH stuff on your list.



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  • From VaultHunter18 on May 19, 2020

    first off great story, always loved your Loud House stories, and second I don't think that this is the stories' end and i'm looking forward to the next chapter. keep up the good work



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  • From Fairy-Slayer on May 16, 2020

    (4)

    First off, the chapter titles add a nice extra to all the fun.

    Good of Lincoln to be ready for Lori's weekly harassment, yet fun how it's still so difficult for him until Ronnie Anne stepped up to alleviate his fears. It was definitely better that he didn't have to initiate his first time gripped with fear – so much better to be gripped by Ronnie Anne's exploring hand. It was also interesting that Lori hadn't gone all the way with Bobby yet, or that she told Lincoln, unless she was fibbing. I still think there's an ulterior motive in there somewhere. :)

    I think you were right to end with Lori's smug smile instead of too many details about cleaning up and what they did with the condoms. (I'm sure the mostly empty popcorn boxes and hotdog wrappers at the drive-in are full of them every week.) Now I just feel bad for Lincoln because he's finally "tasted life" but that treat will be going back to the city soon. Even though Lori will be feeling some of the same, she owes him at least some sympathy for raking his young hormones & emotions over the coals. (Or maybe I'm just reading way too much into it.)

    Whatever is to come (and hopefully come some more) I'm sure it'll be fun. Thanks again.



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  • From Fairy-Slayer on April 11, 2020

    (Chapter 3)

    There's an overall cuteness to the fact that Lincoln is enjoying being pushed into getting down 'n dirty with Ronnie Anne yet is thinking more about pleasing her than actually getting off himself. (Not that it won't make great fap material for him, I'm sure.) To me it seems that he's not being careful only to avoid getting pounded (the wrong kind, that is.) Unfortunately that also hints that he doesn't feel the full emotional connection yet (as in he likes her but doesn't really like like her thing), which is pretty in-character still. Good thing he's a people-pleaser at heart, for better or for worse.

    Lori's pre-game planning was a nice change of pace too, and Lincoln's in-the-moment fearful images were a nice way to subvert her usual behavior and give him a good sales pitch to keep him in the game. Then her more-final statement made it seem like a great sales pitch.

    I love that Ronnie Anne took some initiative this time, whether it was sensing his goal or – better yet – her own lustful desires boiling up. I'm surprised he got so far into it, literally, but his balance of coming up with strategies and his own horniness seems to have done a great job.

    …but not as good as Ronnie Anne's brother. (Wait, that sounds wrong!) Adding a nice spice of challenge to the tale, which I'm tempted to somehow something fusion cooking metaphor… ;) It kicks the story into a new level instead of just getting to the next base.

    The problem with time flying when they're just starting to have fun also seems like something to be dealt with, though perhaps Lori is also mulling that one over. (Too bad the drive in doesn't play longer movies.) Still, I have no doubt that he'll make grand efforts towards his new challenge…and probably screw it up somehow along the way. No matter what comes next, I am sure it will continue to be both great fun and deliciously sexy. Thanks.



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  • From RandomReviewer on April 10, 2020

    Lol I can't wait to see how frenzied Lori gets for the finale.



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  • From ConanEdogawa on April 09, 2020

    I'm betting Lori will tell Lincoln that he needs to get Ronnie Anne pregnant so Bobby will get Lori pregnant



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  • From Fairy-Slayer on March 19, 2020

    (Chapter 2 – Beware Spoilers!)

    Everything is progressing nicely, though I'm starting to think that someone has ulterior motives – not that anyone has to for this to be so fun and sexy, but over-thinking stuff is kind-of my thing. ;)

    I like that Lincoln realized Clyde would be less than useless in his predicament, plus he'd probably create more complications beyond Lori & Bobby. Even better was when Lincoln was getting cringey when Lori kept saying "boobs," though I laughed even harder when he got more scared that Lori might demonstrate for him than of what Ronnie Anne may do. (Then again, when they got back to Vanzilla then she'd already be satisfied and Ronnie Anne would just think Lincoln was terrified by the movie.) Of course, after they did the first double-date there's really no reason that the kids have to come on every single one, but what fun would that be?

    Great action though, especially as his self-doubt heightened Ronnie Anne's passion and neediness for him. Also, good thing he didn't have salt stuck to his fingers tonight or the poor girl wood be very sore. (Or course if he only had butter on his then he may have had the chance to lick it off, since that's only polite.) Nice that Lincoln the explorer made it to the mountaintops on his first try, and the mountain range loved the way he handled the little rocks at the top. Let's hope Lori didn't notice and find herself impressed by what a quick learner he was: she would probably ask Lincoln to demonstrate for Bobby (or worse, on Bobby). At that point Lincoln would just quickly end it all by getting under Ronnie Anne's top again and… “Oh, Ronnie Anne…” Lincoln breathed. "I've never been so happy that Lori forced me to do something."

    Noticing Royal Woods' penchant for fusion cuisine was fun too, which should make for more interesting combinations as time goes one. (But nothing with parsley in it, right? ;) ) Little pokes at that kind of thing adds to the world's flavor. Thanks for another great installment of Lincoln being forced into manhood by his sister… uhm, or something like that.

    P.S. Kudos to DoctorYnot's keen observations. However now I'm starting to think that my writing is like knowing how to drive okay despite never having learned the rules of the road properly. (Over-used ref. omitted. ;) )

    P.P.S. I wonder if Lori's real endgame could be related to a certain comic: http://tlb.booru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=24077

    P.P.P.S. Never stop saying boobs!



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  • From RandomReviewer on March 17, 2020

    God damn it- I have to follow up one of DocYNot's reviews? That's like trying to follow Elvis! Ok well, chapter two was like, good and stuff. Like, I'm looking forward to chapter three alot. There, I tried -_-



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  • From DoctorYnot on March 17, 2020

    This is a really fun story concept launched with a great first chapter! This time, I'll be writing down my thoughts on the fic as I read it, so it's kind of in chronological order to what you wrote. I hope you can forgive the messy format of the review, but apart from being easier to get a handle on my thoughts this way, I think it provides a commentary that is keyed into specific scenes and expounds on tangible aspects of a fic instead of being a more broad overview of the whole chapter taken together. I think this style can be useful to a writer in its own way, you know? Like I said, I can only hope you don't mind too much! Here we go.

     

    I have to mention that, as always, you have a masterful touch at making your fics feel just like the show; what's always been present in your work but that I noticed first this time is how it comes down to even how you capture the rhythm of the way particular characters speak. It seems like a small thing but your grasp of the Louds' personalities combined with the terrific timing you have in knowing when to, for instance, italicize just the right word to emphasize something they happen to feel right then really makes your dialogue so distinct and brings the characters' speech to life so vividly; Lola complaining about having to see Lincoln in his undies (like she doesn't love it, hah!) read so crisp and perfect I could hear it in my head.

     

    Another thing I definitely have to compliment you on is the humor as well. So much feels like something that could have come right out of an episode, like Leni getting up from her own bed when Lori orders her noisy siblings out of her room. That's classic Leni. I'm generally not too big a fan of comedy in erotic fics since I've always felt that amusement and arousal are two opposed mental states, and you can't feed one without diminishing the other. Of course, the laughter here is brief and punchy enough instead of dwelling on it too long that it doesn't become cloying or distracting, and it's placed appropriately before and after the sexy stuff instead of in the middle of it. But apart from all that, I've realized that, beyond just being funny, the way you build your fics serves another purpose as well. With the comedy being so right and the feel of the setting so damn familiar, I've noticed that it makes the reader, subconsciously, believe the world you're portraying is the world of the Loud House he knows and loves, so when the cast starts deviating from the show's characterization just enough to start, let's say...kissing their brother...you've already created enough immersion that the reader can accept it and not be jolted or have his suspension of disbelief broken. It definitely takes a deft hand and a hell of a creative mind to engineer a tale this way, but you hit the right notes every single time. That consistent standard of excellence has always amazed me. I consider immersion, which necessarily springs from good characterization, to be the most important thing in fanfiction. After all, the characters still feeling like themselves but flung into new situations we haven't seen on the show is the biggest part of the charm of fanfiction, isn't it? Anyway, I know how hard it is, so your easy grace in that department is something I find tremendously impressive. But, ahem, I've really digressed here. Let me get back to talking about THIS story.

     

    >“Besides, that girl’s had a thing for you since day one. You don’t shove a sloppy joe down a guy’s pants because you like him as a friend.”

    Heh, such a cute line.

    >“Even if that’s true, since then we’ve really been more like-”

    I'll be frank, I think maybe a stutter would have been appropriate here at that 'even'. Lincoln and Ronnie Anne always get real flustered when people accuse them of being boyfriend and girlfriend, probably because they know it's true, and Lincoln's the nervous type to begin with (no doubt from those ten wild sisters of his keeping him on edge all his life.) I hope you'll pardon me bringing up something so subjective. Ordinarily this wouldn't be a comment I'd make since it's not a real flaw and more of my own personal feelings about a line, but since I'm doing a bit of a deep dive anyway, I figured I might as well mention it.

    Honestly, Lincoln and Ronnie Anne's relationship is so incredibly cute! The hand-holding! Love how Ronnie Anne is baffled at Lincoln suddenly being so forward but just happily goes with it. Not boyfriend and girlfriend my foot.

    Whew! Lori really went from 0 to 60! I think the manic edge she has is really truthful to the character and I can definitely dig it, but I have to admit that I would have liked a slower bit of build up for it, like a scene where Lincoln notices out of the corner of his eye how Lori is trying to escalate her displays of affection and Bobby is hesitating and begging off, and the frustrated glint in her eyes and change in bodylanguage as she becomes more miffed. On the other hand, that could have detracted from the cute, sweet scene of Lincoln and Ronnie holding hands...Hmm. It's not easy, I suppose. That said, she did make me laugh. 'You are TOTALLY comfortable with it!' Lori's pretty cute herself, if crazy. She's always been one of my favorite characters and you do a great job with her, just like you do with the others. I think it's an important aspect of her that she's insecure deep down under her tough girl/valley girl act from not really becoming attractive until late into her teens, the awkward puberty she had and all, and when her mania comes out it seems obvious to me it's from that, and also being the oldest and having to be almost like another mom to a lot of her younger siblings. She's always had a lot on her plate. It's really easy for me to forgive her bossy, unreasonable spells from that and just enjoy it for how adorable she is.

    Big laugh at 'That's a risk I'm willing to take.' Wonderful line, delivered with great timing. God, she's such a bitch. I love her though, plus it always makes me smile to see a cute, giving kid like Lincoln get put through the wringer by his forceful, hormonal sisters. You know what I mean. 'Making decisions according to which girl I'm more scared of' is another great line; what a perfect summation of the cute white-haired boy's life! Well if he doesn't like it then he shouldn't be so adorable!

    Another thing I enjoyed was how I found myself getting drawn into the setting by all the little things about it, particularly the silly 'gourmet' popcorn. I have no idea if that's an actual thing or not but it had the sting of truth for me, there's so many food truck-style places trying to fancy up simple food that doesn't need it; I myself have had 'gourmet french fries' where it's just french fries with parmesan and truffle oil on top of it and this reminded me of that, so it pulled me into the world just that little bit more. I know it's a really small thing, but the devil is in the details, isn't it? It's lots of small things like that that, taken together, end up elevating a fic. Anyway, I appreciated it the veracity of the whole environment. Definitely helps the mood.

    Quite enjoyed the feeling of doom and desperation as the popcorn levels keep getting lower, the thing about how each one disappearing brought him closer to the fateful moment was a good flourish for that. Lincoln's so adorable. I did feel it could have been longer though, like that Willy Wonka line: "The tension is unbearable. I hope it lasts."

    Heh, 'her options for striking him.' A good example of the way the boy's calculating mind works, it's already racing to manage this situation and protect himself as best he can.

    The inner monologue he has as RA jumps him is lovely. Feels super true to the character and who Lincoln is: self-conciousness, disbelief, apprehension, joy...Great scene. Very vivid.

    It's a bummer that Lincoln is so busy, that cuts down on the interactions he could have with RA and shortens the fic, but at the same time I see the narrative necessity in keeping Lincoln and Ronnie Anne apart so that they can't ever discuss what their actual relationship is and thus maintain that great feeling of a panicky, flustered Lincoln getting pushed far past where he's comfortable by his bossy older sister, with no idea how his 'friend who is a girl' wink wink is going to respond to these advances which she has no idea are being coerced (which could lead to an equally entertaining outcome if she ever discovers it as the tale unfolds) which you have managed so far. I understand that's the heart of the story and the engine that's creating a lot of the amusement and fun. I guess it's just my own greed, I can't help but want to read more and more Loud House stuff from you, I just love every second I get to inhabit in the worlds you create. Feels like a vacation of the mind and the soul to get to visit your version Royal Woods and hang out with your vision of the Loud family. I adore these characters, and you have such an amazing understanding of them and so much skill behind your pen a lot of time it feels like an actual sexy episode that just didn't get to air. I can't think of much higher praise than that when, as an erotic writer, you have to go so far out of the realm of what the show usually handles. It's a testament to your ability.


     

    What a great stinger to end things on! I'm seriously looking forward to the next update. This story has a terrific opening, is underpinned by a very fun idea, features a cast which feels true to who they are and a world that feels authentic to the show...Twist My Arm is a fic firing on all its cylinders with an author at the top of his game.


     

    However, while I did enjoy my time with this fic a lot, there is one thing that does trouble me a bit about it. I couldn't help but also wish you'd slow it down sometimes, too. The narrative, I mean. The pace. Just a bit. It just feels so brisk right now, sometimes I feel like I don't get to enjoy the situations you've created as much as I could since the plot advances so steadily. But I think the idea seed you have is really strong, and it has enough bones that you can ease the pace on certain scenes and really let the characters feel their feelings: the hesitation before Lincoln acts, the joy when Ronnie Anne reciproctates, maybe even some more Lori and Bobby reacting to what's going on behind them or Lincoln's pondering of these events at home...I think we'd all enjoy that stuff. Plus, to me, believably creating a scenario and mood where Lincoln has to get romantic with Ronnie Anne or face being clobbered by his sister is 'the hard part' of writing this, and actually executing the situation once you've arranged so it can happen the fun part. I feel like, in maintaining the pace you are, you're not having as much fun as you could have from all the hard work building things up in the first place. Maybe it's just my own misunderstanding of things, but that's what I think at least.


     

    That's really the only thing that bugged me. Apart from that, I think this is a terrific opening chapter which left me super eager for more. Honestly, it's such a delight to get to read your fics again. I didn't have the facility to do it for a while and getting to now is a true joy. They're still the same beautiful sojourns into the Loud world I remembered them to be, and I can't tell you how grateful I am I get to enjoy them. I'm not sure I've mentioned it before, but it's the way I felt then and what I feel even more now: when you see the name GeorgeGlass next to a story, you can always be assured what you get is going to be great. Thank you so much for sharing your tales with us, Mr. Glass. I can only hope there'll still be many more to come.



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  • From ConanEdogawa on March 17, 2020

    Now Lori needs to tell Lincoln to get to third base



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  • From RandomReviewer on March 12, 2020

    *cue the Scott Bakula "Oh boy!" XD



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  • From Fairy-Slayer on March 11, 2020

    (Chapter 1)

    Beware Spoilers OF DOOM!

    A very nice start and great set-up for some Loud fun. It doesn't surprise me that Lori would be willing to use Lincoln (and Ronnie Anne) to get what she wants out of Bobby. Nice to see Lincoln being brave with the girl who won't hesitate to deck him – and would have good reason – which makes me think that Lori's threats aren't what truly convinced him to play along.

    Of course he could have just told Ronnie Anne about Lori's plan in advance to they could fake it or go watch the movie from elsewhere, but I have a feeling that doing so could have actually ended very badly for him. (Heh, still could in a few ways.)

    Even though Ronnie Anne is very receptive so far, I'm sure Lincoln's next achievement will require more skill and delicacy if he's going to… 😎 pull it off. Thanks for the great start.



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  • From ConanEdogawa on March 11, 2020

    I love how this would happen in the show keep it up I can't wait for the 2nd chapter



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