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Reviews for Remembering

By : obbiejoe
  • From Mac-man on December 29, 2020

    You don't need a beta, if you use Microsoft Office, you can listen to the story. That's how I proof my stories, and it's reduced my mistakes considerably. Also, might I suggest, adding a chapater where Ron actually grows a pair and takes Kim, where he finally get's over his insecurities about Kim leaving him, and becomes more confident with her. He doesn't have to be a domineering asshole, but a little swagger is not a bad thing, Kim may grow tired of being the one to start things off, she may love that this is the one aspect of her life, where she doesn't have to be in charge.


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  • From ANON - Sara on December 12, 2014
    Ok I realize that this is YOUR story and you can do ANYTHING that you want with the characters in it; but ‘BONNIE’ and ‘FELIX’ a COUPLE I think NOT, last time I checked ‘Bonnie’ had fallen for ‘Junior’ and ‘Felix’ had hooked up ‘Zita’ in that ‘Graduation Movie Final. I just can’t see ‘Bonnie’ becoming more civilized and decent; they never even showed interacting with ‘Felix’ and if she did she would probably be just has rude and mean as usual; and as for ‘Ron’s’ mother having yet ANOTHER child on the way I just don’t THAT happening either. :/

    But for the most part; this is a pretty good story that you put here, very touching and romantic. :)

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  • From ANON - Anon on October 18, 2013
    Very sexy story, I hope you keep writing more!
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  • From ANON - Michael Oliver on October 04, 2013
    Hey I heard you were looking to restructure you're stories. I should be able to help. I have posted a story up on Fanfiction.net that I think will help you. The paragraph/ writing structure should be correct. Here is the link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9310018/1/When-The-Unthinkable-Happens

    You can also go to Fanfiction.net and look up samuel adams 17 and my profile will pop up with a story, "When The Unthinkable Happens" that is where you can get ideas for you story. Hope this helps!
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  • From ANON - KPXRS on February 05, 2011
    Very intense story and very well written! I hope you continue writing this story...I would love to see the plot develope some more...maybe something unexpected happening (an engagement, pregnancy, intense fantasies played out, ect.) Crossing-fingers for an update...please :)
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  • From ANON - K&R4ever on March 28, 2010
    OMG I love this fanfic! I hope that you continue with the story,I really would like to see what you have in store next :) Maybe Kim might get pregnant with them going at it like bunnies and Ron's MM sperm? Or do Shego and Dr. Drakken come for a visit and thier getting married, asking Kim and Ron to be in the wedding? Hope to see an update :)
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  • From Levi2000a on February 05, 2010
    Please update soon. Well written story and hot sex. What could be better.
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  • From ANON - Anon on November 02, 2009
    HOT plz update very soon.
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  • From ANON - M on October 29, 2009
    Very hot, very erotic yet at the same time romantic. Thats what I like to see. With the exception of shortening your paragraphs, I see nothing wrong with your writing. I hope you update soon.
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  • From ANON - Anomlov on October 04, 2009
    *fans herself* That was HOT! Ron finally got his special night with Kim, some of his fantasies coming to life. :)

    So the blue sperm and the blue glowing around the two teens....does that mean that maybe they made a baby? Even though kim is on the pill maybe MMP sperm sorta has an extra kick to it?

    I can't wait to see what you have planned next for this story...I'm so glad that you updated!
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  • From ANON - Sentinel on October 04, 2009
    Very nice when a story is all sex it gets rather boring. You are doing very well at mixing it up. You are building a nice relationship tale with some tail thrown in. Kim and Ron are exploring each other in more ways than one.

    Good job, however you still have another nice story out there too. I'd like to see you work on it if you can.

    Thanks

    Sentinel
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  • From Levi2000a on October 04, 2009
    I later found, when I lost my proof reader to his real world problems, that copying my story into my E-mail writting program, helped me correct serveral problems. Spell checking and sentence structure. Just a suggestion. And I really am enjoying the story.
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  • From on October 03, 2009
    You're paragraphs are WAY too large and you jam tons of dialog into them--you should never have more than one character speaking in one paragraph.
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  • From ANON - Anomlov on September 23, 2009
    WOW! I just read your story...Super Hot! I hope you decide to keep writing...a part 2 to chapter 5 would be really nice. Well done! Again I hope you update your story!
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  • From ANON - Thomas on August 15, 2009
    I don't think you have to worry at all about your writing style. If one were to take out the parts that make this an "adult" fanfiction, "the center still holds", to paraphrase. In fact, the sex makes a lot of sense as you have written it. Unlike a break in the story, or the whole of the story, it is just one more integral part.

    I take good stories seriously, and this is a good one, on par with your tales over at fanfiction.net.

    Thomas
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