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Reviews for Windsors finish

By : chainsawhero
  • From Crispeh on June 14, 2007
    OK so, I liked your attempt (I was actually thinking of doing a Windsor/Adam), but just some things to be aware of:

    *Space out your conversations.

    Instead of:
    "Hey Jake," said Windsor. "Oh hey Windsor. What's up?"

    Try this:
    "Hey Jake," said Windsor.

    "Oh hey Windsor!" said Jake, turning around to face his friend.

    *Be careful of your grammar. I think I remember seeing in one of your stories that English isn't your first language, and I can appreciate that; just try and be more "clean cut" next chapter/story.

    *Try not to rush the sex scene. A sloppy sex scene ruins the story's mood and makes the reader not want to read anymore.


    Again, I hope you don't think I'm trying to make you feel bad; just giving you some pointers to help you. Thanks for mentioning
    me in the story summary as well!
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