Click Here!

  • 1

Reviews for Mira Goes into Heat

By : someboredguy
  • From ANON - Delia on November 14, 2012
    Wtf is this? Why do all the paragraphs roll into one large page? youre spelling is atrocious. Listen, 15-year-olds aren't allowed on the sight....and if you are going to be on the sight, at least be subtle about it and try not to muck it up with no-talent trash like this.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Robin on August 17, 2004
    The concept and driving conflict of the story are excellent, and the sense of urgency in the plotline is good. Most of the suggestions I have for the story are merely structural; try to paragraph the story more to provide some dramatic pacing, and perhaps give a little bit more detail and spend a little more time in the actual lemon scene. Since Mira and Booster are best friends, the lemon might be made a little sweeter (no pun intended) with him being extra careful not to hurt her, since they've known each other so long. And, to quote Uncle from Jackie Chan Adventures: "One more thing!" Some of the sentence structures were a little awkward and didn't read well, though I understood the point. When I'm writing, it helps me to read the story to myself once or twice in order to see if the words flow well. Maybe try that, and see if that helps your writing. Other than that, I'd say go for it with the next chapter. Good work!
    Report Review

  • 1
T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!